Aw this makes me sad. Knowing her IRL she does not come off like this.
And this is what people are saying. It's all good to be all RAGE! Burn it down Fuck Stella's! Fuck nursewife! Fuck gypsy! Until it's someone who is sweet to YOU. (And that's the general you)
But she has said too many racially insensitive things on top of saying my daughter's name was made up (when that was not what I asked) without apology for me to like her. And when called out she didn't apologize she simply said she was listening and learning. Hmmph.
a lot of people use that phrase as a get-out-of-jail-free card, usually accompanied with a request for helpful links they can read (because the onus would be on you to provide the links, not on them to do the research)
So I think many of us have committed micro aggressions in the past. This is certainly not excusable but I am trying to think of ways we can make things right when called out over it. Obviously it isn't fair to put the responsibility anywhere except on ourselves to fix a wrong (meaning it isn't the job of the wronged party to tell us what to do), but I struggle with this because I know I have said unfair things in the past.
Eta: I could only read page 1 of the kc thread (formatting issue on my phone) and I think she was very wrong. But, I know I had similar views when I was 18-19 years old (before some thought provoking college courses). So I guess this is where people in privileged classes get uncomfortable because it's like well does this mean *I* am a bad person because I too had this thought at one time?
I know what you mean. I have said some spoiled, selfish, entitled things in the past that I seriously regret now.* One good thing about being on GBCN, it has forced me to see that I live in a very privileged bubble and need to do better to see past that. I think the only thing you can do is apologize, admit your mistake, and try to do better in the future. I don't know what the answer is for communities like this when everything you say is essentially permanent. I guess it makes forgiveness hard because your dumb statement is still out there for all of eternity. Lord knows I am not perfect so I don't expect anyone else to be. But I think it's important to really listen to what other people are saying about you and try to improve yourself.
*I haven't read the kc thread so just speaking generally here.
In practice, I've found that this clip has been helpful, when framing and facilitating discussions of race, and microaggresssion, with diverse groups. Obviously, it doesn't have the answer to everything, but I thought I'd share as someone may find it useful.