We need an insults thread

[sonrisa]

Come in here and spout off about someone or something. Extra points for being original and funny. Only one rule: It can't be directed at someone else on the board, even in a veiled way. Not their kids, dogs, sacred cows, etc. Got it?

Okay, go.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

[sonrisa]

There is so much aggression on here today. It needs an outlet.

[Deleted]

[spellingbea]

Lol, that we need a dedicated insults thread. Redundancy Thread of Redundancy.

[sonrisa]

Aug 4, 2015 11:48:34 GMT -5 cjoy said:

You first.

Donald Trump is a chucklefuck asshole who couldn't govern a trash can.    

[05heel]

If you would all please turn to Chapter 1, Verse 2 from The Book of Very Bad Ideas...

[Deleted]

  

[margotmacomber]

I have popcorn stuck in my teeth and it's rull annoying.

[FastHands]

Aug 4, 2015 11:48:54 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

There is so much aggression on here today. It needs an outlet.

Yes, cause erryone's just keepin it all inside.

[CurlyQ284]

[furby]

Hasa Diga Eebowai

[derp]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

[sonrisa]

Aug 4, 2015 11:57:16 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Aug 4, 2015 11:48:54 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

There is so much aggression on here today. It needs an outlet.

Yes, cause erryone's just keepin it all inside.

I should clarify: it needs an off board target

[Deleted]

You have a mild overbite!

[pixy0stix]

I'd rather toledo and I just kept going at it.

[sonrisa]

Aug 4, 2015 12:01:47 GMT -5 toledo said:

Aug 4, 2015 11:48:54 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

There is so much aggression on here today. It needs an outlet.

Well, thank you for offering yourself to us in this thread.

:-)

I'm nothing if not a martyr to the cause. 

[killercupcake]

Aug 4, 2015 11:53:10 GMT -5 kooshball said:

I am pissed off that weed is not legal in vegas. I have never been in trouble but I seriously considered taking some with me but I am not going to cause I am boring. I hate drinking. Weed is better.

Is it medicinal? Because that's legal here now. I think. I don't know. We have dispensaries opening up though. 

[flex]

I'm quite vexed that I only got a few "likes" on my "can't we just all get a bong?" post last night. It was sheer comic genius!!!! What is WRONG with you people??


lol

[sonrisa]

Why do publishers keep putting dust jackets on children's books? It's just one more thing for my baby to pull off and tear up.

[noradog]

Aug 4, 2015 11:53:10 GMT -5 kooshball said:

I am pissed off that weed is not legal in vegas. I have never been in trouble but I seriously considered taking some with me but I am not going to cause I am boring. I hate drinking. Weed is better.

I'm pissed off it's not legal in Louisiana. I quit cigarettes and would quite like to replace them, but I don't know anyone who can get me any. A store would be infinitely easier. 

[sonrisa]

Why can't stupid Ikea carts go straight? Ever?

They can design a 6'x6' shelving unit with all sorts of pull outs and contraptions that can be assembled with only an allen wrench and my four year old, but it takes sumo wrestler strength to keep the carts from running off the walkway.

[sonrisa]

What idiot advertiser thought a picture of watermelon that looks like intestines would make me want to book a hotel room? (anyone else getting that ad at the top?)

[sonrisa]

Aug 4, 2015 12:24:23 GMT -5 @booby said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:15:16 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Why do publishers keep putting dust jackets on children's books? It's just one more thing for my baby to pull off and tear up.

Lol, this is an insult? You suck at this. Whoooops! Rule violation! I lose. I'll see myself out.

I know I do!  That is why I asked for your contributions. I know you've got at least one celebrity you want to bitch about. 

[CurlyQ284]

I didn't realize Harry Potter insults were a thing. I'm going to let my nerd flag fly here.

[Deleted]

Aug 4, 2015 12:15:16 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Why do publishers keep putting dust jackets on children's books? It's just one more thing for my baby to pull off and tear up.

My kid likes the dumbest books. She's got a ton of great books, but it's always "Yeah, no to all of those, let's look at this motherfucking inane Minnie Mouse book from the dollar bin that is only 3 pages that doesn't make any sense and just abruptly ends with no closure. And I'd like it read 5 million times BECAUSE IT'S ONLY 3 PAGES. I know the book you're offering has 9 pages, but that's just TOO MUCH AND WHO HAS TIME TO READ ALL THAT. THREE PAGES FOR THE NEXT HOUR, PLEASE."

[flex]

Aug 4, 2015 12:40:35 GMT -5 Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear said:

"Are you OK?"

The worst!

Along the same lines as "I hate to be a bitch, BUT..."

[Deleted]

Aug 4, 2015 11:59:26 GMT -5 derp said:

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

You stole mine. Vermiscious Knid!