I mean what's next? Women who complete marathons won't take a post race photo until after their hair and makeup team give them a blowout and a smokey eye?
I know a few people who wear makeup to races just because of the race photos.
Sure. Do what you want to feel good. But the whole point of posting it to FB is to be judged. That's it. And this is just another volley in the mommy wars that play out in social media time and time again. In that sense, it's nothing new,
So women can make themselves feel good so long as they don't share it with anyone else? What if they show their private photos to someone else? Does that get them booted from the Acceptable New Mother Behavior Club?
We have an entire makeup board here dedicated to women learning how to make themselves feel better through hair and makeup. We post selfies and talk about compliments we get from other people, after meticulously planning our makeup routine in advance of GTGs and trips, and I'm willing to bet most of us have posted at least one post-makeup selfie on FB. Yet somehow none of this is acceptable behavior if a woman has just a given birth because some other mom might feel bad.
Context matters.
Women posting on MUB is NOT the same as a woman taking glamour shots for her first photos in the hospital. Are you saying you wouldn't at least side eye the woman who refuses photos after completing a marathon until she gets styled and done up?
I mean what's next? Women who complete marathons won't take a post race photo until after their hair and makeup team give them a blowout and a smokey eye?
I know a few people who wear makeup to races just because of the race photos.
This look at me culture has got to stop. I don't think I considered for one second how I looked after delivery. 55 hours of labor, 4 hours f pushing and a c-section - I probably looked like hell. But the first pic of me and my daughter is beautiful, and not because my hair looks gorgeous.
I don't know. It's not my thing and I would roll my eyes if someone irl did this.
After 41 weeks of pregnancy, induction, 100% back labor, and 3 freaking hours of pushing out a ginormous baby, I looked like a beached whale. But those first pictures of me and my DD are some of the most priceless things I have.
Sure. Do what you want to feel good. But the whole point of posting it to FB is to be judged. That's it. And this is just another volley in the mommy wars that play out in social media time and time again. In that sense, it's nothing new,
Wait...huh? The whole point of posting things to Facebook is to be judged? ? I'm confused. I thought I posted shit to fb to show it to my friends and family.
Is it really a surprise that people use FB to present an idealized version of self? That's not new.
This look at me culture has got to stop. I don't think I considered for one second how I looked after delivery. 55 hours of labor, 4 hours f pushing and a c-section - I probably looked like hell. But the first pic of me and my daughter is beautiful, and not because my hair looks gorgeous.
I don't know. It's not my thing and I would roll my eyes if someone irl did this.
After 41 weeks of pregnacy, induction, 100% back labor, and 3 freaking hours of pushing out a ginormous baby, I looked like a beached whale. But those first pictures of me and my DD are some of the most priceless things I have.
I felt like this. I look chubby and unkempt and hospital beds put my triple chins on permanent visit, but I still love those pictures for the moment they captured.
I don't think these women are necessarily getting blow outs and their makeup done to make other women feel bad on FB. I wish I had taken more care with my appearance in my private photos just so I wouldn't have to cringe every time I see them. I've never posted them on FB and wouldn't because they're so personal to me. It has nothing to do with anyone else, just wanting to look better for myself.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Aug 5, 2015 11:46:38 GMT -5
Seeing as how my MIL posted my "Just had a baby ten minutes ago" picture on her FB page, where I look all sweaty, frizzed out and red faced to the world, I probably wouldn't have minded someone coming in and washing and styling my hair real quick before the pictures went nuts.
But I am also someone who just doesn't feel "clean," awake or functional until my hair is washed and blow dried. I know its my thing.
If this is what some people need to start feeling a bit human and get some pictures with their sweet baby, more power to them.
So part of me feels that this is totally ridiculous. And for the record, I would never do it.
But another part of me says, you know what? You carried this baby for 9 months, and then it either ripped through your vag or you were sliced open. A pretty hairstyle is the least that a woman deserves.
I'm here. Right here. I tell you what, I Would have felt like a million bucks if I had this. (Compared to the $4 I actually felt like post birth)
I get it - its a big photo op - you wanna look made up just like you would be for any other event.
I love authenticity, I actually think that's what's awesome about FB is that you can post things so easily and quickly and you are much more apt to post a real moment vs. a staged one. I'd hate for my kids to see only polished photos of me and try to hold themselves to a similar standard. A lot of the reason I try to get pics of me with a real yet less-than-ideal look (even though it makes me cringe at times) is that I want to capture all those "flaws" and show my kids and family that all those natural things happened to me too- I'm normal, you are normal, etc.
I mean what's next? Women who complete marathons won't take a post race photo until after their hair and makeup team give them a blowout and a smokey eye?
I look like a hot f*Ing mess after races. DO.NOT.CARE, nasty sweaty self is holding up the medal for FB to see.
ETA: Imma goin' to point and laugh if I see someone primping.
I mean what's next? Women who complete marathons won't take a post race photo until after their hair and makeup team give them a blowout and a smokey eye?
I look like a hot f*Ing mess after races. DO.NOT.CARE, nasty sweaty self is holding up the medal for FB to see.
ETA: Imma goin' to point and laugh if I see someone primping.
YOU CANT JUDGE A WOMAN!!!!! SHE JUST WANTS TO LOOK NICE!!!!!!
After 41 weeks of pregnacy, induction, 100% back labor, and 3 freaking hours of pushing out a ginormous baby, I looked like a beached whale. But those first pictures of me and my DD are some of the most priceless things I have.
I felt like this. I look chubby and unkempt and hospital beds put my triple chins on permanent visit, but I still love those pictures for the moment they captured.
I also can't imagine waiting for someone to do my hair before I held my baby and took a picture. I mean, my hair? That could be an hour.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
So women can make themselves feel good so long as they don't share it with anyone else? What if they show their private photos to someone else? Does that get them booted from the Acceptable New Mother Behavior Club?
We have an entire makeup board here dedicated to women learning how to make themselves feel better through hair and makeup. We post selfies and talk about compliments we get from other people, after meticulously planning our makeup routine in advance of GTGs and trips, and I'm willing to bet most of us have posted at least one post-makeup selfie on FB. Yet somehow none of this is acceptable behavior if a woman has just a given birth because some other mom might feel bad.
Context matters.
Women posting on MUB is NOT the same as a woman taking glamour shots for her first photos in the hospital. Are you saying you wouldn't at least side eye the woman who refuses photos after completing a marathon until she gets styled and done up?
Just because it's not something I could fathom doing myself doesn't mean I'm jumping to the conclusion that this runner is just trying to make other, non-primped runners feel like shit on FB. Frankly that would say far more about me than her. Likewise, if after carrying a child for 9 months, some or all of which may have been incredibly physically difficult and put quite a dent in a woman's self-esteem, a woman wants to feel good about herself in this way, more power to her.
You're correct that context matters, and so does the point, which is that the overall spirit of the MUB to encourage, discuss, and improve makeup for the purpose of feeling better about ourselves. We have discussed this time and again and I don't understand why self-esteem and vanity are suddenly markers of a FB superiority complex simply because someone has given birth. The idea that a woman is supposed to hide the fact that she feels good about herself is unsettling.
I'm trying to decide if this is supposed to carry over to me feeling bitter that I can't afford much of the makeup, accessories or apparel so many like to discuss in other threads. I'm saying no, because if a woman can get those things for herself and feel good doing it, GOOD. Shit, even if her motive is to make me feel shitty about myself - and I'm confident to say that I don't believe any of my FB friends are of that ilk - it's up to me to toss that shit and focus on why I'm still amazing as me.
Women posting on MUB is NOT the same as a woman taking glamour shots for her first photos in the hospital. Are you saying you wouldn't at least side eye the woman who refuses photos after completing a marathon until she gets styled and done up?
Just because it's not something I could fathom doing myself doesn't mean I'm jumping to the conclusion that this runner is just trying to make other, non-primped runners feel like shit on FB. Frankly that would say far more about me than her. Likewise, if after carrying a child for 9 months, some or all of which may have been incredibly physically difficult and put quite a dent in a woman's self-esteem, a woman wants to feel good about herself in this way, more power to her.
You're correct that context matters, and so does the point, which is that the overall spirit of the MUB to encourage, discuss, and improve makeup for the purpose of feeling better about ourselves. We have discussed this time and again and I don't understand why self-esteem and vanity are suddenly markers of a FB superiority complex simply because someone has given birth. The idea that a woman is supposed to hide the fact that she feels good about herself is unsettling.
This is silly.
MUB: Makeup discussion: not ridiculous.
Immediate post birth glam session for FB: ridiculous.
It's not comparable.
Are we ever allowed to side eye ridiculous behavior? Or is it just we aren't allowed to side eye the ridiculous behavior of moms?
Just because it's not something I could fathom doing myself doesn't mean I'm jumping to the conclusion that this runner is just trying to make other, non-primped runners feel like shit on FB. Frankly that would say far more about me than her. Likewise, if after carrying a child for 9 months, some or all of which may have been incredibly physically difficult and put quite a dent in a woman's self-esteem, a woman wants to feel good about herself in this way, more power to her.
You're correct that context matters, and so does the point, which is that the overall spirit of the MUB to encourage, discuss, and improve makeup for the purpose of feeling better about ourselves. We have discussed this time and again and I don't understand why self-esteem and vanity are suddenly markers of a FB superiority complex simply because someone has given birth. The idea that a woman is supposed to hide the fact that she feels good about herself is unsettling.
This is silly.
MUB: Makeup discussion: not ridiculous.
Immediate post birth glam session for FB: ridiculous.
It's not comparable.
Are we ever allowed to side eye ridiculous behavior? Or is it just we aren't allowed to side eye the ridiculous behavior of moms?
Yes, it is comparable. It's women getting dolled up to feel better about themselves, something a lot of us do every single day. You've just decided that women who do this post-birth are doing it only to irritate other moms with their "mental mom games," and that women should hide themselves unless they are sporting the natural look.
And LOL to moms being protected from judgment. The entire point here is that you are judging them precisely because they just gave birth.
I had scheduled c-sections and wore makeup to both because I knew I'd like the pictures better. I don't really care if that gets me a side-eye, and don't act like it's sooo different, because it's not. I just lucked out that labor wasn't in the cards for my first two.
Personally, I would rather have the photo of the authentic moment and I would rather my son be able to look back on that picture and see the authentic moment. I can see wanting to get hair and makeup done for a professional photo at a later date, but that moment? I want it to be authentic. Isn't that kind of the point of pictures to begin with? To be able to capture a moment in time, so that you can look back on it and remember? I understand the desire to make that moment as perfect as possible, but it's just not real and not really focusing on the important part. It's weird how we have shifted from taking pictures of life, to taking pictures of how we wish our life would be.
Also, hair and makeup were the least of my problems after giving birth. I was so swollen from fluids, it was ridiculous. No hair and makeup could have covered that up.
I think there is a spectrum of crazy. Going in with makeup that you normally wear or a waterproof version thereof? Not terribly crazy. Hiring someone to do your hair and makeup right after you push out a human so you can share it with FB is definitely on the higher end of the crazy spectrum. It just is. Women can do it all the live long day. But people can side eye it too. Like me. I side eye that. And yes. You are ratcheting up the stakes for acceptable motherhood, whether you want to own it or not, if you blast that image of your professional hair and makeup around social media, you are raising the bar.
I'm going in circles now. Which means I should bow out.
There was a photog that came to the hospital (it's contracted by the hospital) and did photos the day after DS2 was born. Looking at the photos now, I really wish I had someone come and do my hair and makeup. They are great photos of the baby and would have been great first family photos, but I looked so terrible I didn't even purchase them. And no, it wouldn't have been to plaster on social media, but rather to have in our family album as the first photos of our family of four.