I mostly just wish I were a healthy weight. Other than that, I'm actually really happy and have an awesome life.
I am sort of jealous of anyone going on beach vacations, but then I remember I burn just looking outside and don't wear shorts, let alone a bathing suit, so maybe not so much.
No one. Envious a little at times, but not jealous. Jealousy requires emotion and I'm definitely not wasting my time pining after someone/something to the point of being jealous. I think most people are envious at some point in life, but fewer people are truly jealous.
I'm really not trying to be on a soapbox, but one of the best things my mother ever taught me is that you don't know what someone had to go through to get what they have. I try to remember that in all the things that I do.
That friend that has that awesome house and awesome car and six-figure retirement fund. Well perhaps they work ungodly hours to get those things and never get to enjoy those nice things.
That friend that brought a house, car, xyz due to a windfall. Well I bet they would rather have the person that left them said money alive, than the resulting money they received.
Those couple friends that just had twins. How do you know they didn't have fertility problems and just didn't say anything.
You just never know what someone has going on.
I'd have to say I agree with this. I think the right word is envy.
I envy those who are skinner than me, mostly because I know that I work out hard but it doesn't show.
I am envious of those people that have bought homes, but I realize that behind the curtain, they might be stretched thin, have to work 2+ jobs or be underwater.
But on the same note, I think it's healthy to recognize that some people really don't have anything else going on behind the scenes, so to speak. Some people really do have a nice home without being stretched thin or underwater. Some people naturally have great bodies, a great eye for clothes, perfect hair, etc.
I'm not saying that most people don't work hard for what they have, but it irks a bit when people always have to assume there is a qualifier. I have a happy marriage. Period. There is absolutely nothing else going on beyond what people see. I'd be hurt if I knew people thought things like "oh, well, they might fight all the time in private".
No one. Envious a little at times, but not jealous. Jealousy requires emotion and I'm definitely not wasting my time pining after someone/something to the point of being jealous. I think most people are envious at some point in life, but fewer people are truly jealous.
I'm really not trying to be on a soapbox, but one of the best things my mother ever taught me is that you don't know what someone had to go through to get what they have. I try to remember that in all the things that I do.
That friend that has that awesome house and awesome car and six-figure retirement fund. Well perhaps they work ungodly hours to get those things and never get to enjoy those nice things.
That friend that brought a house, car, xyz due to a windfall. Well I bet they would rather have the person that left them said money alive, than the resulting money they received.
Those couple friends that just had twins. How do you know they didn't have fertility problems and just didn't say anything.
You just never know what someone has going on.
I mostly agree with you that it's not productive to compare yourself to others or make assumptions about them. However, I think you are being a little too picky here. I believe it's implied in most responses that there are no hidden negative aspects. For instance, when someone is envious of people who are naturally thin, I assume they are aren't envious of those that are naturally thin because they have a disease. Or those envious of people with lots of money are probably implying they'd like to have more money without compromising time with family or having lots of stress, etc. Let's face it, some people are lucky and there is not always a negative flip side.
I'd have to say I agree with this. I think the right word is envy.
I envy those who are skinner than me, mostly because I know that I work out hard but it doesn't show.
I am envious of those people that have bought homes, but I realize that behind the curtain, they might be stretched thin, have to work 2+ jobs or be underwater.
But on the same note, I think it's healthy to recognize that some people really don't have anything else going on behind the scenes, so to speak. Some people really do have a nice home without being stretched thin or underwater. Some people naturally have great bodies, a great eye for clothes, perfect hair, etc.
I'm not saying that most people don't work hard for what they have, but it irks a bit when people always have to assume there is a qualifier. I have a happy marriage. Period. There is absolutely nothing else going on beyond what people see. I'd be hurt if I knew people thought things like "oh, well, they might fight all the time in private".
We were posting pretty much the same thing at the same time!
People who are skinny or enjoy working out. People who love their jobs. People who have fun/close family. People with close friends. People who vacation to international destinations a lot. People with paid off homes. People with lots of money in investment accounts. Attractive people. People who are very good in social situations. Basically everyone-lol
I envy people who can make life decisions. I over think everything. I wish I could just on a whim make a decision and feel okay about not planning it out. But then I wonder if this type of behavior would lead me down a bad path. I believe things in my life are fabulous because I built them that way. If I just did on a whim maybe I would be over stressed and over spent.
No one. Envious a little at times, but not jealous. Jealousy requires emotion and I'm definitely not wasting my time pining after someone/something to the point of being jealous. I think most people are envious at some point in life, but fewer people are truly jealous.
I'm really not trying to be on a soapbox, but one of the best things my mother ever taught me is that you don't know what someone had to go through to get what they have. I try to remember that in all the things that I do.
That friend that has that awesome house and awesome car and six-figure retirement fund. Well perhaps they work ungodly hours to get those things and never get to enjoy those nice things.
That friend that brought a house, car, xyz due to a windfall. Well I bet they would rather have the person that left them said money alive, than the resulting money they received.
Those couple friends that just had twins. How do you know they didn't have fertility problems and just didn't say anything.
You just never know what someone has going on.
I mostly agree with you that it's not productive to compare yourself to others or make assumptions about them. However, I think you are being a little too picky here. I believe it's implied in most responses that there are no hidden negative aspects. For instance, when someone is envious of people who are naturally thin, I assume they are aren't envious of those that are naturally thin because they have a disease. Or those envious of people with lots of money are probably implying they'd like to have more money without compromising time with family or having lots of stress, etc. Let's face it, some people are lucky and there is not always a negative flip side.
I absolutely believe some people are just lucky and there doesn't have to be a backstory or hidden agenda. The people I've encountered who are jealous of things/people are saying things like "She only has that because xyz" and are putting qualifiers on it and that's where I think what I wrote comes into play.
Your average, I wish I was skinnier, or had a house/job/car, etc that people posted, no I don't think have qualifiers.
Post by heliocentric on Aug 21, 2012 8:49:04 GMT -5
People with big, renovated kitchens. People with short commutes. People who are excited about their jobs. People with close friends nearby. People with hefty retirement savings, little/no debt and lots of extra spending money. People who don't have unwanted body hair (or have less of it). People who have a lot of passion. People with a lot of self-confidence.
And no, I don't waste my time pining after it, nor do I think people with hair that air dries well necessarily suffered some sort of hardship to get there. It would just be really nice to have.
I have to sit through 4 hours of japanese straightening to be able to get my hair to air dry well. And once three months go by, I need to start flat ironing the roots again (so I need to blow dry). Its very short lived.
I guess I can add to my list people who dont have to Japanese straighten their hair to look human.
Post by gettingfitt on Aug 21, 2012 9:05:58 GMT -5
People who can eat basically what they want and don't have to worry about their shape Couples with a great sex life People who have their SO/husband who doesn't work until midnight most nights College students who do not have to work full time & go to school full time Girls with great volumious hair 24/7
Post by orangeblossom on Aug 21, 2012 9:09:50 GMT -5
I have to get off soon, but I did want to clarify a few things. I don't think it's wrong to feel envious or people should feel bad having a natural emotion of envy/jealousy. It's just when those feelings get to the point that it interferes with your day-to-day life that's when I see it as an issue, which I have see in people. Perhaps, I am being too picky in the use of words envy vs. jealousy and for that I apologize, as the spirit of the post was not about my initial response.
That said, I am not without things that I wish others had. See below:
I wish I had less sensitive skin, so I could even think about swimming again People who swim for exercise People who are decisive People with better willpower/self-control People who are debt-free People who have a better family medical history
I have to get off soon, but I did want to clarify a few things. I don't think it's wrong to feel envious or people should feel bad having a natural emotion of envy/jealousy. It's just when those feelings get to the point that it interferes with your day-to-day life that's when I see it as an issue, which I have see in people. Perhaps, I am being too picky in the use of words envy vs. jealousy and for that I apologize, as the spirit of the post was not about my initial response.
That said, I am not without things that I wish others had. See below:
I wish I had less sensitive skin, so I could even think about swimming again People who swim for exercise People who are decisive People with better willpower/self-control People who are debt-free People who have a better family medical history
But why would you assume that everyone posting in this thread is to that point? I wish I took more vacations, so I pinch my pennies to do so. I wish I looked more put together, so I take more time in the morning to get ready.
I have to get off soon, but I did want to clarify a few things. I don't think it's wrong to feel envious or people should feel bad having a natural emotion of envy/jealousy. It's just when those feelings get to the point that it interferes with your day-to-day life that's when I see it as an issue, which I have see in people. Perhaps, I am being too picky in the use of words envy vs. jealousy and for that I apologize, as the spirit of the post was not about my initial response.
That said, I am not without things that I wish others had. See below:
I wish I had less sensitive skin, so I could even think about swimming again People who swim for exercise People who are decisive People with better willpower/self-control People who are debt-free People who have a better family medical history
I hear you on the envy vs jealousy thing. I am a stickler for proper use of eager vs anxious.
People who are independently wealthy. People who are "naturally" thin/fit. People who just generally don't worry about things, have carefree lives. I'm always anxious about something. Always.
Post by catsarecute on Aug 21, 2012 9:31:45 GMT -5
People that can exercise portion control on a regular basis. People who can shop every weekend on clothes, shoes, etc. and not be in debt. People who can get pregnant easily. People without student loans (thanks, husband)
I have to get off soon, but I did want to clarify a few things. I don't think it's wrong to feel envious or people should feel bad having a natural emotion of envy/jealousy. It's just when those feelings get to the point that it interferes with your day-to-day life that's when I see it as an issue, which I have see in people. Perhaps, I am being too picky in the use of words envy vs. jealousy and for that I apologize, as the spirit of the post was not about my initial response.
That said, I am not without things that I wish others had. See below:
I wish I had less sensitive skin, so I could even think about swimming again People who swim for exercise People who are decisive People with better willpower/self-control People who are debt-free People who have a better family medical history
But why would you assume that everyone posting in this thread is to that point? I wish I took more vacations, so I pinch my pennies to do so. I wish I looked more put together, so I take more time in the morning to get ready.
Being jealous =/= paralysis.
I am not assuming that people in this post are that way, and like I said I apologize if it was taken that way. The question was who are you jealous of. I gave my response on how I felt, and was not referring to anyone specifically in this post.
I promise, I was not trying to be insulting or wholier than thou in my post. I was simply saying my thoughts and a lesson my mother taught me.