Post by rachel6789 on Aug 31, 2015 12:34:18 GMT -5
I'll stop posting about this, I promise.
After the argument about money a couple of weeks ago I asked my H to try to sell or extra freezer in the garage. We agreed on a price and he posted it on Craigslist and a fb garage sale site.
One of his friends saw that he posted it and said he was interested. Great! We need a little extra money more than I need a half empty freezer chest. He agreed to drop it off for him on Saturday since his friend doesn't have a truck. When he came back he was $175 short of the agreed upon amount, but he let the guy barter with him and his friend gave him some brand new tires instead.
My husband claims he can sell them and make so much more money off of them and is trying to explain to me how we got the better deal. Until that happens, they're just taking up space in the garage. I'm still so pissed about this. He just started a new project for work this week, thank god, but I'm still stressed to max about finances.
Things have never been this tight and it's pretty scary.
Post by pantsparty on Aug 31, 2015 12:44:15 GMT -5
Between this and the job thing (did he decide to go?), I would really be at my wit's end, because his actions dictate he doesn't grasp the levity of the situation. EVEN IF he doesn't think the situation is serious (which it is), he is brushing off your feelings, which is also not acceptable.
IDK. This would be pretty bad for me. Financial stress is one of the worst kinds of stress, and not being on the same page makes it worse.
Between this and the job thing (did he decide to go?), I would really be at my wit's end, because his actions dictate he doesn't grasp the levity of the situation. EVEN IF he doesn't think the situation is serious (which it is), he is brushing off your feelings, which is also not acceptable.
IDK. This would be pretty bad for me. Financial stress is one of the worst kinds of stress, and not being on the same page makes it worse.
Between this and the job thing (did he decide to go?), I would really be at my wit's end, because his actions dictate he doesn't grasp the levity of the situation. EVEN IF he doesn't think the situation is serious (which it is), he is brushing off your feelings, which is also not acceptable.
IDK. This would be pretty bad for me. Financial stress is one of the worst kinds of stress, and not being on the same page makes it worse.
He did go. I forced him to.
Well, that's something, but I would still be upset. I shouldn't have to ask my husband to work if we're in a financial crunch, particularly a job that is offered to him.
I think I'd start treating him like a child. Take away his cards and give him an allowance for the week. You shorted the household $175? That comes out of your allowance.
I think I'd start treating him like a child. Take away his cards and give him an allowance for the week. You shorted the household $175? That comes out of your allowance.
No. Don't do this. LOL.
You can't expect him to be a man while treating him like a child.
He needs to pull equal weight in your relationship. I hope you both get on the same page.
I think I'd start treating him like a child. Take away his cards and give him an allowance for the week. You shorted the household $175? That comes out of your allowance.
No. Don't do this. LOL.
You can't expect him to be a man while treating him like a child.
He needs to pull equal weight in your relationship. I hope you both get on the same page.
Well, that's something, but I would still be upset. I shouldn't have to ask my husband to work if we're in a financial crunch, particularly a job that is offered to him.
How long has he been self-employed?
He's been self -employed for years. Typically he has more than enough work coming his way that it's not an issue, but in May he was in an accident and he didn't work for over a month. That's how this all started. We took a big hit to our savings and it has snowballed since then. He did one smaller project when he was cleared to work again, and then his next big project was canceled. So it's essentially just been my income since his accident plus what I have pulled from savings.
Are you the one managing the money right now? Perhaps he needs to be part of that process if he's not feeling the financial stress.
I don't think he realizes how much I have taken from savings. Our big safety net is gone. It's not that there's nothing there anymore, but it's scary that it's so low and we are still not on track to where we need to be.
Are you the one managing the money right now? Perhaps he needs to be part of that process if he's not feeling the financial stress.
I don't think he realizes how much I have taken from savings. Our big safety net is gone. It's not that there's nothing there anymore, but it's scary that it's so low and we are still not on track to where we need to be.
Have you told him this AND showed him the bank statements? Again, I think you need to have a serious talk with him.
Post by shostakovich on Aug 31, 2015 13:52:59 GMT -5
Sit down together and go over your budget and spending. If you are managing the finances month-to-month, paying all the bills and pulling money from savings to cover it, and he is not seeing any of this, he will continue to be fiscally dumb and make fiscally dumb decisions. Knowledge is power, and you need to bring the knowledge.
Post by rachel6789 on Aug 31, 2015 13:57:12 GMT -5
I have explained to him repeatedly that we took a huge hit financially when he was out of work. He sees the bank statements. He gets the same notifications that I do when I move money around. He knows where the money is going. He just doesn't seem to get it.
I've essentially cut all of my own fun money and asked him to do the same. His response to this last time was that it's not fair that he should do nothing but wake up and go to work every day with nothing to look forward to even though it's what I've been doing for months.
I have explained to him repeatedly that we took a huge hit financially when he was out of work. He has see bank statements. He gets the same notifications that I do when I move money around. He just doesn't seem to get it.
I've essentially cut all of my own fun money and asked him to do the same. His response to this last time was that it's not fair that he should do nothing but wake up and go to work every day with nothing to look forward to even though it's what I've been doing for months.
I have explained to him repeatedly that we took a huge hit financially when he was out of work. He sees the bank statements. He gets the same notifications that I do when I move money around. He knows where the money is going. He just doesn't seem to get it.
I've essentially cut all of my own fun money and asked him to do the same. His response to this last time was that it's not fair that he should do nothing but wake up and go to work every day with nothing to look forward to even though it's what I've been doing for months.
That right there would make me RAGE. Not fair, my ass
I have explained to him repeatedly that we took a huge hit financially when he was out of work. He sees the bank statements. He gets the same notifications that I do when I move money around. He knows where the money is going. He just doesn't seem to get it.
I've essentially cut all of my own fun money and asked him to do the same. His response to this last time was that it's not fair that he should do nothing but wake up and go to work every day with nothing to look forward to even though it's what I've been doing for months.
umm...retirement, money to go on vacations with instead of living paycheck to paycheck? ....DOING FUN THINGS AGAIN WHEN YOU ARE FINANCIALLY STABLE?!?!?
I have explained to him repeatedly that we took a huge hit financially when he was out of work. He sees the bank statements. He gets the same notifications that I do when I move money around. He knows where the money is going. He just doesn't seem to get it.
I've essentially cut all of my own fun money and asked him to do the same. His response to this last time was that it's not fair that he should do nothing but wake up and go to work every day with nothing to look forward to even though it's what I've been doing for months.
This right here is worthy of a kick to the balls with steel toed boots. What the fuck.
Post by cabbagecabbage on Aug 31, 2015 14:08:16 GMT -5
Well, he can have fun with his new tires. They're worth a fortune!
Seriously though, some people are awful about money and this would be such a deal breaker for me as a financial prude. I really hope he pulls his head out of his butt.
Post by shostakovich on Aug 31, 2015 14:14:37 GMT -5
So buying tires off of a friend and schlepping them home is something he considers fun?
Then he is going to have a BLAST doing all of your grocery shopping and other errands from now until he gets another job! And - oh man! - posting the tires on Craigslist and coordinating with the buyer for pick-up is going to be off the chain!!
Post by rachel6789 on Aug 31, 2015 14:16:27 GMT -5
I've never in my life been this stressed out. I was crying the other night just thinking about it. We were in bed at the time and after his heavy sighs and telling me to relax and just stop crying I moved to the couch. He followed me after a few minutes with Unisom in his hand and told me to just sleep and we would figure it out.
I've been trying to figure it out and he would rather give me a sleeping pill and have me pass out than have to discuss it or listen to me again.