Kids are gross. Add yours!

[FastHands]

What gross things have your kids done recently?

Mine is currently building his immune system by using his silicone toothbrush as a lik-a-stick from fun dip. Except instead of a bag of sugar, he's wiping it on the floor and the walls, then putting it in his mouth. Lather, rinse, repeat.

[jewel]

Mine will eat practically nothing off of his high chair tray. But he WILL happily eat anything he finds on the ground, including food he threw off of his tray, cat food, paper, crumbs of who-knows-what, bark, etc.

[sallywalker]

I found MORE boogers on T's headboard. I thought our first talk about it would have put it to an end. NOPE.

[cabbagecabbage]

Mine scratches her butt a lot. We wash her hands so much that now she will sniff them and tell us they smell poopy.

She also dips fruit in ketchup.

[Kristinmo]

DD thinks it's hilarious to eat her boogers. Like, she draws attention to it by announcing to anyone within earshot that's what she's doing.

[cville]

Give me illnesses.

[ginger]

She apparently, on Saturday night, threw up (I was out of town). Even though she's brushed her teeth, she still had sick breath. STAHP

[miso]

My kid is really into putting her fingers in her nose right now.

Luckily, I've not seen any transfer to the mouth yet.

[Alyssa]

Ummmm.....my 3 year old licked a bike rack yesterday at a zoo/amusement park.  Why?  I have no clue, I guess I'm not feeding him enough.

[sallywalker]

Aug 31, 2015 17:58:55 GMT -5 cville said:

Give me illnesses.

[sallywalker]

T dipped her biscuit in ranch dressing during dinner tonight.

[cinderbella]

Lucy told me she doesn't always wipe after she goes pee. She just wiggles around like this *side to side hip thrusting* and pulls her unders up and goes on with her day.

[cereal K]

C barely wipes. She takes, like, one square of TP. we're working on our technique.

she will dip ANYTHING in ketchup if she has it in front of her: carrots, tomatoes, blueberries.

The baby likes to grab C's shoes and put them in his mouth. I'm also still getting used to his constant desire to grab his junk at every diaper change.

Ugh.

[bananapancakes]

My kid was chewing on his shoes while in his car seat today. This was right after we left the mall where he had been walking around for a hour. I shudder at the thought of what was on the bottom of those shoes.

[zaneyzoo]

Did 2 who is 1, was climbing on me tonight and spit up a thick Lugee that only missed my mouth because I turned my head. It instead went down my cheek into my hair. Barf!

[Deleted]

Thanks to that stupid juicy fruit commercial with the guys doing the armpit farts DS now does it non stop. He taught his BFF so tonight when I was driving them to practice they were both in the back seat making fart noises with their armpits and cackling like hyenas.

[knope2016]

Aug 31, 2015 17:45:05 GMT -5 sallywalker said:

I found MORE boogers on T's headboard. I thought our first talk about it would have put it to an end. NOPE.

My kid just discovered the power of the booger. I was told yesterday, "mommy, I want to put my booger on you."  I suggested that wasn't a great idea.  "I already wiped my boogers on your blue shirt, mommy."  I was wearing a blue shirt the day prior.  Thanks, kid. 

[bittybomb]

I mentioned this in another thread but my daughter kissed my car today. On the outside. It's been a minute since its been to the car wash and it hasn't really rained much. I don't even know why that would seem appealing. I scrubbed her mouth out during teeth brushing bc gross.

[scottyderp]

I itch my butt, too. And I scratch my vagine. Really, this is all life-long stuff. Except the boogs will go in pockets like a civilized person.

[scottyderp]

Aug 31, 2015 20:50:36 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Aug 31, 2015 20:48:09 GMT -5 scottyderp said:

I itch my butt, too. And I scratch my vagine. Really, this is all life-long stuff. Except the boogs will go in pockets like a civilized person.

Do you pee on top of your poop and make it all SQUISHY?

Omg I do!

[litebright]

My five-year-old farts like an old, old man. Loud, long and stinky.

And then she giggles and says, "I tooted!!!" That whole "farting is embarrassing" thing has yet to kick in for her.

[anyastroud]

I have dealt with "poop paint" on more than one occasion I have also dealt with crap eating. Nasty!!! (I also have a sn kid. but ya'll wanted to hear the grossest thing so there you have it. crap eating  )

DD #1 has done some pretty gross shit. Not her fault(flu bug or something) but she once vomited IN my mouth. we're not talking formula spit up either. I'm talking full on whole green beans and milk.

I have also walked in on DD #2 sitting IN the toilet.

fun stuff I tell ya.

Kids are gross, DH thinks I'm weird because I won't eat or drink any thing after my kids.

I have lost my appetite at the dinner table or taken my food to another room, because of gross open mouth smacking sounds or using a hand as a spoon gross slurping sounds.  

 I some times wonder if the mom gene missed me because because I'm not equipped to deal with this shit like a normal mother. 

[sallywalker]

Aug 31, 2015 20:57:49 GMT -5 tators said:

My kids licks everything. Windows, floors, me, tables, carts, he licks everything. He also now has his own waterbowl because he wouldn't stop lapping out of the dogs. My h questioned my parenting choice on that one. Shit so did I.

Tenley played like she was a cat for hours one evening. I got her a bowl of milk to lap out of. H thought I was insane. It was so cute though.

[Deleted]

Sofia picks her nose all day long.

Theo's poop diaper exploded all over my dining room chair. Oh, he also pooped again after that, tripped and fell on ilya's arm, and some poop leaked onto my baby's arm. I'm going to start making theo wear rubber pants if this keeps up.

Ilya is a little vacuum. Someone spilled dry cereal in the kitchen this morning. Ilya crawled over there while I was cleaning up the living room and I realized I hadn't heard from him in a while. Yep, he was in the corner feasting on dry cereal. This is why I refer to him as piglet.

[sallywalker]

Aug 31, 2015 21:10:19 GMT -5 anyastroud said:

I have dealt with "poop paint" on more than one occasion I have also dealt with crap eating. Nasty!!! (I also have a sn kid. but ya'll wanted to hear the grossest thing so there you have it. crap eating  )

DD #1 has done some pretty gross shit. Not her fault(flu bug or something) but she once vomited IN my mouth. we're not talking formula spit up either. I'm talking full on whole green beans and milk.

I have also walked in on DD #2 sitting IN the toilet.

fun stuff I tell ya.

Kids are gross, DH thinks I'm weird because I won't eat or drink any thing after my kids.

I have lost my appetite at the dinner table or taken my food to another room, because of gross open mouth smacking sounds or using a hand as a spoon gross slurping sounds.  

 I some times wonder if the mom gene missed me because because I'm not equipped to deal with this shit like a normal mother. 

I will never forget this moment as long as I live. I walked around the corner and thought it was poop. Thank god it was chocolate.

[fezzik]

A few weeks ago L wiped after peeing on the potty and also wiped her butt (not sure why she always wipes both her front and back) then she realized her nose was runny and wiped it with the same toilet paper that had just wiped her pee and butt. Gross. BUT I have a funny story that branches from this:

After she did that, I said, "NO!! Never wipe your face after your bottom with the same toilet paper!" She asked why and I told her because there are germs down there. She went to flush the toilet and waved saying, "Bye worms!" Germs/worms, same difference I guess, ha. Anyway, flash forward a couple weeks and my mom was babysitting L for us when my mom texts me and is like, "OMG I can't stop laughing. L was going potty and said not to touch your butt because there are worms down there, then she told me I have worms on my butt too!" Lol. I explained how she calls germs, worms, but we had a good laugh about that one.

[litebright]

Oh, speaking of losing appetites, both of my girls are really into "gross things" right now. Pee, poop, vomit -- basically anything gross that comes out of a bodily orifice.

And they LOVE to talk about all kinds of disgusting what-ifs at dinner. "What if POOP came out of your MOUTH instead of your bottom!?!?!" "What if I ate my cereal with PEEEEE???" "I'm going to pretend this is a PUKE SANDWICH with POOP on top, hahahahahahahah!!!!"

We've had to make rules about what is acceptable table-talk and what is not, and sometimes they still manage to get going to the point that I have to fight the impulse to gag.

[spellingbea]

The other night, DD peed in the bath and then tried to drink the bath water.

She gets an applesauce cup for dessert some nights, and will take whatever random scraps of her dinner that is left and stir them in. Peas, meat, salsa, salad...makes no difference. Eats it all up. I'm thinking of putting broccoli directly in applesauce and serving it to her that way, just to get her to eat it.