Forgetting your child

[ECB]

So, we've talked about people who have left their child in a car and how we can, sadly, understand how that happens.  In light of that, what are your thoughts on this story?  I feel like some details are missing.  Her explanation doesn't really make sense to me. 

gma.yahoo.com/social-media-defending-mother-left-baby-shopping-cart-150809515--abc-news-parenting.html#

A mother of four is at the center of a blistering social media movement dubbed hashtag #IStandWithCherish.

Cherish Peterson is under fire for leaving behind her 2-month-old son, Huxton, outside an Arizona supermarket Aug. 24. A photo snapped by a bystander shows the baby strapped into a carrier inside a shopping cart.

In an interview with station KPHO-TV in Phoenix, Peterson shares her side of the story.

“I got into my car and normally I put my cart away, but I didn’t need to because I parked at the front of the store and I never park there, and I drove away,” Peterson, of Gilbert, Arizona, told the affiliate.

She describes the horrific moment she realized baby Huxton was not in the car when she got home 40 minutes later.

“As I was pulling into the garage, my 3-year-old goes, ‘Where’s baby Huxton?’” she explained. “His car seat is right behind me so I turned around and realized it was gone.”

An off-duty Phoenix police officer had spotted the infant and took him inside a nearby salon. Huxton was not injured, but Peterson now faces a misdemeanor count of child endangerment.

“I thought the whole time he was in my car,” the mother, now 28, said.

The incident has sparked a social media firestorm with many quick to condemn Peterson’s actions. One Facebook user wondering whether she was “under [the] influence?” But just as fiercely, others rushing to support Peterson on Twitter and a Facebook page attracting nearly 17,000 members.

Supporters are sharing what they’re describing as their own “perfectly imperfect” parenting moments and calling for forgiveness.

“I have never met Cherish but the public punishment through social media has to be far more painful than any charges that might be brought against her. I forgive and so should we,” one user wrote on the page.

Her husband, Nathan, is also springing to her defense.

“We love our family and we love our children,” he said. “I married the best, in terms of the mother and wife Cherish is to me and our children.”

The Petersons admit they’re not perfect parents and they’ve learned this the hard way.

“I’m a good mom who made a horrible mistake,” she said, fighting back tears.

[omgzombies]

Two months in, with sleep deprivation, and a slight change in routine, I can understand how this happens. But even if you park in the front of the store, you still have your cart with you to get your groceries into the car, especially if you have a three year old with you. So I'm a little confused by the story, but I could definitely see forgetting your kid in a cart happening to someone in the midst of having a three year old and a two month old. Those are dark times.

[laurenpetro]

i can absolutely see this happening when you have 4 kids.

[sangria]

My assistant knows this woman. She says she is a wonderful, caring mother. She's 28 with 4 (3?) kids under three. It can happen to anyone.

Until there are hard facts to prove otherwise, I think she just made a mistake.

[cayl]

Why did the police officer just bring the baby into a salon and leave him there? That seems ridiculous to me.

[debatethis]

Four kids by 28 years old would have made me forget everything including my own name. Joking aside though, I feel like there are much better uses of taxpayer resources than charging her with child endangerment.

[CallingAllAngels]

I read these stories and I think, "there but for the grace of God go I." I can totally see how this happens, and I only have 2 kids. With 4 kids and a brand new baby? Forget about it.

[downtoearth]

I have three kids and have nearly done this - as well as I have driven to work without dropping a sleeping kid off at daycare (realized about half way to work that I missed drop off). I think it's so sad and I'm glad that the baby and family are all ok.

[josieposy]

Sept 1, 2015 15:17:18 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

I have three kids and have nearly done this - as well as I have driven to work without dropping a sleeping kid off at daycare (realized about half way to work that I missed drop off). I think it's so sad and I'm glad that the baby and family are all ok.

I've done this too. Got halfway to work and realized I forgot to turn at daycare. Thank goodness they're loud and mouthy now.

[cville]

Sept 1, 2015 15:11:35 GMT -5 cayl said:

Why did the police officer just bring the baby into a salon and leave him there? That seems ridiculous to me.

What? Lol. I don't see that at all in this story. I doubt he was like "you there getting a pedi, hold this kid. Peace out."


I can absolutely see this. I used one of those carts when my youngest was super teeny and the seat part is big. You could easily not see a two month old in there from the side/back.

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2015 15:05:08 GMT -5 ECB said:

So, we've talked about people who have left their child in a car and how we can, sadly, understand how that happens.  In light of that, what are your thoughts on this story?  I feel like some details are missing.  Her explanation doesn't really make sense to me. 

What part doesn't make sense to you? I can easily see this happening.

She got everything situated in the car. Usually her reminder about the kid in the cart is to push the cart back but she remembered she didn't have to do that, so she just went on about her business and drove away. With other kids I presume "distracting" her, it doesn't sound malicious on her part. 

[ttt]

I don't really see what charging her is going to accomplish.

[mrsd2006]

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

[zelda25]

Her story seems completely plausible to me; as you pointed out, it's not terribly unlike parents who forget about the sleeping baby in the backseat. I saw this story on the news last night, and even the anchors were barely concealing their disbelief and disdain.



I'm really, really disturbed by what seems like...delight? people take in crucifying strangers via social media for their fuckups. I keep meaning to pick up Jon Ronson's book about it.

[redheadbaker]

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

^o)

[cville]

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

No one is saying it's "okay" to forget your kids. We're saying (well, I'm saying) that it's plausibly not even remotely criminal in nature or the result of drugs and alcohol to do so. But please do feel free to enjoy and relish in your personal level of perfection in all things. Cheers!

[msmerymac]

4 kids under 4, she's 28, she lives in Arizona, and the baby is named Huxton. I'm guessing she's a religious SAHM, she she probably DOES NOT GET A BREAK from her kids.

If she didn't have to return the cart, or just grabbed the groceries out of it, I can see it happening.

I had to drive 45 minutes to NJ once for an event in which I needed a parking pass, and I left the parking pass on my dining room table right next to my purse, which I took with me. And as we know from the WaPo article, if you can forget your cell phone or your lunch, you can forget your child.

[josieposy]

I think there's a bit of a difference between a conscious decision to leave a kid in a car in hot weather and doing something out of routine and making a mistake because of that.

[msmerymac]

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

What makes you think we'd be getting the pitchforks out for someone who left a child in a hot car?

Leaving an infant unsupervised for 40 minutes in a shopping cart IS dangerous. He could have been kidnapped or injured. No one is countering that fact.

[cayl]

Sept 1, 2015 15:20:20 GMT -5 cville said:

Sept 1, 2015 15:11:35 GMT -5 cayl said:

Why did the police officer just bring the baby into a salon and leave him there? That seems ridiculous to me.

What? Lol. I don't see that at all. I doubt he was like "you there getting a pedi, hold this kid. Peace out."


I can absolutely see this. I used one of those carts when my youngest was super teeny and the seat part is big. You could easily not see a two month old in there from the side/back.

Lol.  It's a reading comprehension fail.  It says "An off-duty Phoenix police officer had spotted the infant and took him inside a nearby salon", and at first I thought he left the kid there, but that's clearly moronic and sign of why I should not try a caffeine free lifestyle.  "Hey, I've got places to be, can you watch the kid?  I'm sure the mom is on her way back".  Yeah, should have that that one through more. 

[twotrue]

I'm not going to judge this lady because it could happen to any one of us. More times than not, right before I pull out of the driveway, or daycare, or the shopping center I ask DD to count heads. Do we have two brothers? Yup. Do we have two mothers? Nope, only one right now. And we have one sister right? ::giggles::

[oscarnerdjulief]

I feel badly. I could see myself doing this, especially after a change in routine. I do a lot of weird things if there's the slightest change in my routine, like leaving my lunch at home, having two items and throwing the wrong one in the trash or putting the wrong one in the fridge.

I know these examples are not the same as a child, but I could definitely see myself doing that.

I often have to verbally go through what I am doing if I have a lot of tasks to complete.

[omgzombies]

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

Whaa??? I don't think anyone is all honkey dorey with the idea of forgetting your child for 40 minutes, or asking what's the big deal.  But I do think most people can understand that this sort of thing can happen, and can see themselves in that same situation.  It doesn't make you a horrible parent to forget your child, it does make you a human being who is capable of making a mistake.  And it's certainly not something that should cause someone to be publicly shamed and crucified on social media over.  

I do think it's a big deal, and I think the response should probably be to make sure that she has all the help she can get at home, because she is probably overwhelmed.  But I certainly don't think it's appropriate to attack her on the interwebz for a mistake like that.  

[luckyval]

This sounds completely reasonable, I'm not questioning the mom at all.

Sleep deprived, new kid added to the mix...it happens. Thankfully he was safe and this is a total waste of resources to bring her up on charges.

[laurenpetro]

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

no one is saying to use a shopping cart as a babysitter.  it's something that can happen a) without malice, and b) without needing to be high or drunk.  just like forgetting your kid in a car.

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

:^)

Well there is a big difference between purposely leaving a kid somewhere and not.

No one would have pitch forks out either if she had left a kid accidentally in a hot car. 

Parents don't get a pass when evidence points to the fact that it is done on purpose. 

[Deleted]

The closest I have ever come to this was forgetting to strap my (then only child) into her car seat at about 2 or 3 years old and she SCREECHED at me to stop and buckle her in. I am very thankful for that but I absolutely see how this can and does happen. Thankfully her child was not harmed as a result, but damn, it could happen to ANY of us.

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2015 15:36:22 GMT -5 omgzombies said:

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

Whaa??? I don't think anyone is all honkey dorey with the idea of forgetting your child for 40 minutes, or asking what's the big deal.  But I do think most people can understand that this sort of thing can happen, and can see themselves in that same situation.  It doesn't make you a horrible parent to forget your child, it does make you a human being who is capable of making a mistake.  And it's certainly not something that should cause someone to be publicly shamed and crucified on social media over.  

I do think it's a big deal, and I think the response should probably be to make sure that she has all the help she can get at home, because she is probably overwhelmed.  But I certainly don't think it's appropriate to attack her on the interwebz for a mistake like that.  

I agree that hopefully her friends/family are making sure she's not overwhelmed, but I don't even think you have to be omg overwhelmed at your breaking point for this to happen. I just say this as a good reminder because this could presumably happen to anyone. The mind is a mysterious thing and sometimes plays tricks on us unfortunately. 

[ttt]

Sept 1, 2015 15:22:48 GMT -5 mrsd2006 said:

Not OK. What's the difference between this and leaving the child in a hot car? Her child could have been in just as much danger as being left in a hot car. She didn't realize it for 40 minutes, if she realized it even before she got out the parking lot, I think it would be different, but 40 minutes is a long time. I don't understand why she's getting a pass when so many other moms/dads don't.

Well, the biggest difference is that the temperature inside a car can reach lethally high temperatures because of the way heat is trapped inside. That's why children and pets can die inside hot cars, but they rarely die just sitting outside. The temperature outdoors on the sidewalk can get hot, but it doesn't reach 130+ degrees. So no, the child was not in "just as much danger." 

[laurack]

I can't even remember much of the first few weeks of infancy. And I only have two kids. So yes I could see this happening to anyone. I'm so glad the baby is ok and I see nothing to be gained from prosecuting this woman.