Can we do vents?

[runaways]

Because I seriously need to bitch and moan about some stuff.

I have had the worst couple of weeks. I need a reset switch or something. I spent most of last week and the beginning of this one with a really tough attending, who is very good but with whom it's hard to do anything right. I got an email this weekend that apparently I'm not coming across nicely to some of the OR nurses. I got a fucking corneal abrasion from my contact on Tuesday and had to leave at noon yesterday (I was supposed to be late, which usually means staying til sometime in the 7-9 timeframe) because I couldn't even keep my eye open. It was so awful. Everyone was super nice about it but I felt terrible because I NEVER take sick days, ever. And then today I just did something really fucking stupid that reflects very poorly on my work ethic (just went for a coffee at a really bad time, not the worst thing ever, but someone had to cover for me). It was really dumb and really uncharacteristic and I'm not sure why I did it. I feel like I am totally failing in my quest to be the Best Resident Ever and I don't know why, I can't seem to hold it together. Also H and I are having issues again and we haven't talked about it because I don't have the time or energy or mental bandwidth for that conversation but I halfway expect him to come home one day and tell me he's done. And I would probably just say okay. Plus running has been difficult between the schedule and the eye stuff and that's not helping at all.

Sorry. This was a total wall of text. Ugh.

[irene adler]

That sounds so overwhelming. I hope you find a way to get a break from the stress and reset.

[kams]

Oh gosh, that's a lot. Big hugs to you. I hope that this is just an ebb & things settle before long.

[Susie]

That sounds really overwhelming, runaways. I hope you can catch a breath soon, and that things ease up.

My vent is a comparatively petty one. Calvin and I are both in my brother's wedding, which is about 1.5 month out. My brother keeps texting me asking me questions about Calvin's measurements for his suit.

Has he done them? (I don't know, I'm OOT for work, shoot him a text and remind him you need them.)

When is he going to do them? (Lather, rinse, repeat.)

Ok, I got them, but one doesn't make sense, do you know what his outer sleeve measurement is? (No, he had a tailor do them because as I said I AM OOT FOR WORK. Ask him.)

How many times do I have to say "ask Calvin" for it to stick!?

As for my dress, my mom keeps hassling me to take a pic of what it looks like on. MOM. I am almost 29 weeks pregnant, and have gained >25 lbs. The dress is not maternity, and is strapless (cap sleeves aren't attached yet). It is guaranteed not to zip prior to the seamstress (i.e. my aunt) sewing in the extra fabric. CAN YOU NOT POSSIBLY IMAGINE WHY I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE AND SHARE EPICALLY UNFLATTERING PICS OF MY HUGE ASS IN THIS UN-ALTERED DRESS THAT CAN'T STAY UP?

I'm tired of talking about this wedding, and especially about attire for it.

[ilovecandy]

I am sorry that sucks.


My vent wtf h's boss. Everyone was suppose to have a 4 day this weekend. Except h but he was supose to have a como day for since he is working tomorrw his como day was going to be tuesday. Nope they pulled that now. Instead they let all the non supervisors go home today right after that got to work but the supergisors didnt. And he isnt getting a 4 day. Ughhhhh i mean he gets a 3 day which is good but still everyone else geta a four day except him because he has to work tonorrow and since they have to train all next week for an event they pulled what was suppose to be his comp day.

Also wtf. I had to go in and do a pvysical today for new jobm i was tols they wouod be doing a hesring and vision test then the dr would look me over. Nope ni dr today because that is apparebtoy a whole seperate appointment even though they said i would see him today. So jow i have to go back in next week.

[emilyinchile]

Hugs, runaways. I think scm1011's advice is spot on. And I know that for me, sometimes everything just sucks, and I just have to remind myself that a) it's a season that will pass and b) at least I'm getting it all out of the way for a while. I hope things turn around and are all easy for you soon!

Susie, I feel like now would be a really good time to ignore your family's texts all day and only respond at night with "sorry, I'm out of town and so busy, talk to you later!"

[runaways]

Sept 3, 2015 17:21:36 GMT -5 @vtcupcake said:

If you didn't see the eating thread yesterday:
One of my mentors and professors in my phd program contracted a severe respiratory infection on his service field research trip to India and died. I know here we talk about how we all want to go out- doing something we love- and this was no different. But it is so, so sobering to me to have a real threat of losing my life on the job seem much more tangible. My cousin, who was a chemist, died from adult onset leukemia because of his years at the bench operating under hazardous unregulated conditions. And this professor was operating in a developing region of the world and likely contracted anthrax or another emerging or zoonotic disease in his veterinary realm. I have a family, a life, an amazing set of hobbies and so much work that I want to do in and out of my field. And right now it is difficult to wrap my head around risking that for the sake of my own professional success. I should open a bakery instead.

And speaking of this shit, I tried to talk to my father about this yesterday, obviously upset, and his one reaction? "Well there's a position open in the department now if you want to apply for it". Have I mentioned lately that my father is an asshole? No? My father is an asshole.

In the midst of the market tanking, we've asked our financial people about qualifying for a mortgage and a strategy with our money to buy a house. Their responses, if any (some haven't responded yet), had been "let's wait until things calm down a bit". NO WE WANT TO MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF ASSFUCK NOWHERE NOW. Mr cupcake is really upset. We have both been so chippy at each other. His father thinks us moving is a bad idea and blames me for everything, per usual.

Meanwhile some broasaurus hogged the squat rack at the gym and didn't understand why I got huffy. I told him if he was going to not swap out sets with me at least show some proper fucking form and not squat off his toes, and to not take selfies with his load in between sets.

There is not enough bourbon.

I really love that you said this.

And I'm so sorry for the rest.

[G22]

Hugs runaways. That's a lot going on and I'm sorry your feeling so overwhelmed.

My vent: because all I can talk about it this move, its about that. My anxiety is starting to flair up and I'm starting to really stress about this move. We fly out next weekend and I'm worried about things going smoothly. I'm flying internationally alone at 33 weeks with 2 pets in crates and 3 suitcases. I've never taken pets to other country and I'm worried about customs going smoothly. I don't know much German and I'm worried about getting myself from the plane to the shuttle at the airport over there WITH the above mentioned stuff. I'm worried about keeping it together and not bawling in the airport if things don't go smoothly because for real there will be tears if they don't. Also, I might just bawl when I have to drop my pets off as checked baggage. Because hormones. And lots of them. And those are my babies. I'm kind of an emotional mess right now, but I'm really trying to keep it together and stay strong.

ETA: My H who never stresses, is stressed between finishing out his training and worried about being good at his new job. So that worries me too, because he's always to confident and reassuring about everything working out. And now he's feeling the pressure. I hate that and want to be strong for him, but dang its hard right now.

[hannahb]

Sept 3, 2015 16:34:16 GMT -5 runaways said:

Because I seriously need to bitch and moan about some stuff.

I have had the worst couple of weeks. I need a reset switch or something. I spent most of last week and the beginning of this one with a really tough attending, who is very good but with whom it's hard to do anything right. I got an email this weekend that apparently I'm not coming across nicely to some of the OR nurses. I got a fucking corneal abrasion from my contact on Tuesday and had to leave at noon yesterday (I was supposed to be late, which usually means staying til sometime in the 7-9 timeframe) because I couldn't even keep my eye open. It was so awful. Everyone was super nice about it but I felt terrible because I NEVER take sick days, ever. And then today I just did something really fucking stupid that reflects very poorly on my work ethic (just went for a coffee at a really bad time, not the worst thing ever, but someone had to cover for me). It was really dumb and really uncharacteristic and I'm not sure why I did it. I feel like I am totally failing in my quest to be the Best Resident Ever and I don't know why, I can't seem to hold it together. Also H and I are having issues again and we haven't talked about it because I don't have the time or energy or mental bandwidth for that conversation but I halfway expect him to come home one day and tell me he's done. And I would probably just say okay. Plus running has been difficult between the schedule and the eye stuff and that's not helping at all.

Sorry. This was a total wall of text. Ugh.

Oh big hugs!

[itsme]

I'm sorry runaways. Hopefully things take a turn for the better for you.

Susie, I would lose it on them. *phone off*

Agreed @drcupcake, your dad is an ass. Death always makes me think about the finality of it. You cease to exist on earth and that's a scary thought. I'm sorry for your loss.

I stormed out of the office today. Annoying CW was on my last nerve and I had to leave because I was fuming. She gets into everyone's business and today I had it. Let me lead my group and stay out of it. You are NOT helpful.  Also, stop jumping chain.

[Wines Not Whines]

I'm sorry so many of you are having a hard time right now.

[stephm0188]

I'm sorry you guys are feeling down right now

Mine is petty but I figured you'd all get it.

My gym is more of a family friendly club and has an outdoor pool and kiddie pool, so lots of families use it. There's also an indoor pool and a hot tub. The hot tub has signs everywhere that say "No juniors under the age of 17, NO EXCEPTIONS." Cut and dry. No kids in the hot tub.

My legs were feeling heavy today so I figured I'd soak in the hot tub for a bit to see if they'd perk up. I walked in, and there was a guy with two small kids in the hot tub, but the jets weren't on. As I was hanging my towel and robe on the hook he said "Do you mind coming back later? My kids can't touch in the pool and I don't want to take them outside to the kiddie pool."

"Um, yes I do mind. I'd like to use the hot tub."

"Okay, well, can you not turn it on? It'll be too hot for them."

I repeated that I did mind and pointed out the signs and the fact that there are THREE pools his kids can use. Geesh. And I'm the "big meanie who won't let them have fun!"

[bostonmichelle]

Hugs and wine and bourbon to everyone.

I'm really really not sure how I'm going to not flip out on any of my clients before I leave my company. I've been really stressed with this move especially with all the nonsense the buyers have been putting me thru and I feel like I have no buffer since I'm the buyer's agent. I'm really glad DH is coming home this weekend and we can finish packing up the house.

[ktzmoh]

runaways and @vtcupcake wow that is a lot to deal with. I Hope the bourbon flows for you guys and allows a respite from the stress.

I have no real vent other than being generally overwhelmed at work and looking forward to a nice long weekend. I'm also trying to figure out the domestic politics in negotiating for three long workouts this weekend and unsure it'll be a smooth bargaining process.

[skwcm80]

I'm so sorry so many are having a rough go of it. (((Group hug)))

[clseale]

Hugs, @vtcupcake!! That's a lot to deal with.

runaways, my friend, let me tell you some things. I don't really have too many vents to add. There are some things, but all things considered, I should let them roll off my back.

Now on to you. Dude, you are in the deep depths of what will probably be the most trying time of your life, right? Fuck, man. Most people are probably just trying to survive, but I have no doubt that you will thrive. You had a bad week or two, I guarantee it is worse through your eyes than through anyone else's. If there is one thing, one quality of yours that has stuck with me over the years, it's that you are a fighter. You are tough. You always rise to the challenge & you completely trash whatever obstacle is out in front of you.

You & DH...I have thought of you guys & hoped for the best for you. I obviously don't know all of the details, but I know this. Marriage is not easy. There are highs & there are lows. DH & I have been married for 5, together for 15 & STILL, the love, it waxes & it wanes. I have no doubt that I made the right choice & that I am married to my favorite person, but it's not sunshine every second, ya know? When things are stressful, those closest to us take the hit. It's often misplaced, but those closest to us get the brunt of it. I imagine residency is very tough on a marriage. I'm rooting for you guys!

The running...so I have felt SO defeated lately. It has just been a summer of suck. I've had some personal challenges over the last year or so & I've just been struggling with some things. ANYWAY, I went for a 6.5 mile run last night. It was typical suckage. Clouds, but 85* & 85%+ humidity. Anyway, I guess the clouds helped, because I was just attacking it. I NEEDED a run like that, ya know? I thought the run would suck, but I looked down, and my average was sub 8:00, then 7:50, then sub 7:40. Ffs, mile 4 was a 7:21. I finished with a 7:37 avg. I thought of you & that awesome 5 miler you posted about recently (because I remember thinking that I couldn't hit those paces in this heat) & it just gave me the motivation I needed to finish strong. You, my friend, a thousand miles away, motivated & encouraged me when I needed it. In my eyes, you are still kicking ass.

Anyway, that's all. Just hugs to all that need it. I love all of you beautiful bad asses!

[CallingAllAngels]

Hugs, friends.

We had one of those evenings here. H comes home tomorrow. Life is so much easier when there is someone to share this load.

[gt7301b]

Big hugs to everyone!!

[sadlebred]

Hugs to everyone!

[awick14]

Hugs to everyone.

G22- is there anyone in the other end that can help you get from the airport to were you are staying?

[G22]

Sept 3, 2015 22:14:37 GMT -5 awick14 said:

Hugs to everyone.

G22- is there anyone in the other end that can help you get from the airport to were you are staying?

I do have a ride from the airport over there to the base. Once I get through customs to my ride, I feel like I'll be able to catch my breath and relax a bit because the biggest hurdles will be behind me for now. At least all the hurdles that I'm stressing over right now.

I know it will all work out. It always does. I just keep having "oh shit this is really happening" moments that freak me out for a bit. Tonight was one of moments.

[emilyj]

Hugs to all. I'm sorry to everyone that's having a rough time.

[awick14]

G22 that's a big move to do by yourself let alone at 33 weeks pregnant and with the pups.

If you need mental support we will be here for you.

[labbie]

Group hug to everyone struggling :-(

Sent from my XT1080 using proboards

[hannahb]

Sept 3, 2015 17:36:18 GMT -5 G22 said:

Hugs runaways. That's a lot going on and I'm sorry your feeling so overwhelmed.

My vent: because all I can talk about it this move, its about that. My anxiety is starting to flair up and I'm starting to really stress about this move. We fly out next weekend and I'm worried about things going smoothly. I'm flying internationally alone at 33 weeks with 2 pets in crates and 3 suitcases. I've never taken pets to other country and I'm worried about customs going smoothly. I don't know much German and I'm worried about getting myself from the plane to the shuttle at the airport over there WITH the above mentioned stuff. I'm worried about keeping it together and not bawling in the airport if things don't go smoothly because for real there will be tears if they don't. Also, I might just bawl when I have to drop my pets off as checked baggage. Because hormones. And lots of them. And those are my babies. I'm kind of an emotional mess right now, but I'm really trying to keep it together and stay strong.

ETA: My H who never stresses, is stressed between finishing out his training and worried about being good at his new job. So that worries me too, because he's always to confident and reassuring about everything working out. And now he's feeling the pressure. I hate that and want to be strong for him, but dang its hard right now.

My cousin just moved to Germany. I should hook you up with her. She's teaching over there. Completely new and knows no German. She is one of the most genuine people in this world. PM me if you're interested (I have no idea exactly where she is)

[clseale]

Sept 3, 2015 22:33:14 GMT -5 G22 said:

Sept 3, 2015 22:14:37 GMT -5 awick14 said:

Hugs to everyone.

G22- is there anyone in the other end that can help you get from the airport to were you are staying?

I do have a ride from the airport over there to the base. Once I get through customs to my ride, I feel like I'll be able to catch my breath and relax a bit because the biggest hurdles will be behind me for now. At least all the hurdles that I'm stressing over right now.

I know it will all work out. It always does. I just keep having "oh shit this is really happening" moments that freak me out for a bit. Tonight was one of moments.

Anyone would be freaking out over a move like this. How you have only NOW stared to freak out, while also being 33 wks pregnant, I have No clue. It's a big deal & you seem to be handling it incredibly well. Hang in there!!

ETA: How in the hell are you 33 wks already??!?

[mrsukyankee]

Sept 3, 2015 17:36:18 GMT -5 G22 said:

Hugs runaways. That's a lot going on and I'm sorry your feeling so overwhelmed.

My vent: because all I can talk about it this move, its about that. My anxiety is starting to flair up and I'm starting to really stress about this move. We fly out next weekend and I'm worried about things going smoothly. I'm flying internationally alone at 33 weeks with 2 pets in crates and 3 suitcases. I've never taken pets to other country and I'm worried about customs going smoothly. I don't know much German and I'm worried about getting myself from the plane to the shuttle at the airport over there WITH the above mentioned stuff. I'm worried about keeping it together and not bawling in the airport if things don't go smoothly because for real there will be tears if they don't. Also, I might just bawl when I have to drop my pets off as checked baggage. Because hormones. And lots of them. And those are my babies. I'm kind of an emotional mess right now, but I'm really trying to keep it together and stay strong.

ETA: My H who never stresses, is stressed between finishing out his training and worried about being good at his new job. So that worries me too, because he's always to confident and reassuring about everything working out. And now he's feeling the pressure. I hate that and want to be strong for him, but dang its hard right now.

I promise you that people will be able to speak English at the airport.  And they will take care of your babies.  I've had a lot of friends move with pets and it's now so much better than years ago.  You'll be fine.  (But don't worry if you cry cause they are also used to that with international moves - I cried several times the first month).  Come onto the IN board and we'll support you!

[mrsukyankee]

And hugs to everyone!

[cinco]

Hugs! I hate that so many are going through stressful times. Thinking of you guys. Vent here anytime.

[G22]

awick14 thank you! I feel better after vocalizing my fears last night, I've been holding a lot in over the last couple weeks.

hannahb, I'll PM you!

clseale, no freaking idea how I got this far along already! Its flying by. Its kind of exciting and terrifying all at once

mrsukyankee, thank you for that reassurance! I only know 1 friend personally who has flown with her pets, so I haven't had many people to talk to and get advice about it. Its more the fear of the unknown once I hand them off to a stranger. I will pop over and intro on the IN soon!

Thank ladies, I do feel better today. I love you all.