Post by cinnamoncox0 on Sept 3, 2015 20:42:18 GMT -5
I think the Doc bag will be perfectly fine. Ds is on the spectrum but he's 16. His tastes in certain things haven't really matured. In many ways he has "typical" interests like video games, computers, engineering etc, but on the other hand he wants to buy a stuffed animal when we are at gift shops. :/ So, despite my gentle teachings re:age appropriate things, he just likes what he likes and some things have just stuck. He isn't bullied about it, to my knowledge anyway.
Post by Captain Serious on Sept 3, 2015 21:39:21 GMT -5
I have a similar situation with M, who is 12 and wanted a Mickey Mouse backpack this year. I didn't sear him towards more age-appropriate backpacks until last year, in 5th grade. I felt that at that age, carrying an Avengers or Spider-Man backpack (what he was considering) could open him up to ridicule or isolation. I still let him wear character t-shirts all the time, though. I feel that's somehow more acceptable.
How are your babies 10?!?! No way. I say go for Doc. If anyone else gives her a hard time, I have a feeling sis will be there to correct that bullshit in less than 5 seconds. Eta: I do think there are times to.push toward age appropriate things, but I don't think this is one of those time.
How are your babies 10??? No way. I say go for Doc. If anyone else gives her a hard time, I have a feeling sis will be there to correct that bullshit in less than 5 seconds.
I have been trying to steer DD (7) into older stuff this year. I probably would have tried to discourage the Doc backpack, but also probably wouldn't have started WWIII over it either not in 4/5th grade. Middle school I def would have given a flat no. It's tough. I am trying to give her the outward appearance of 'normality' as much as possible, but then wonder if I am doing the wrong thing bab how do you navigate some of this as they get older?
It depends on what your ultimate goals for your DD are. When you're the mom of a child on spectrum a backpack isn't just a backpack. This is a BTDT thing for me. DS has an ASD (Aspergers), ADHD and GAD dx. He's a college student now and carrying a plain black LLBean.
Most advocates are very passionate about not infantilizing those with developmental or intellectual delays. That you aren't 100% on board with this, suggests it's time to really think about the choice and the message it sends. I get that typically developing older kids can get away with a Pooh backpack, ironically, because they come from a position of strength being able to parse the message their choice sends. Your kid can't; you need to help her understand the ways of her peers.
If she is lower functioning and attends most of the day in a self contained setting, the backpack will likely not lead to bullying because her peers will know that she isn't "like them" and back off. In that case, I'd let her choose. However, if she's bright and mainstreamed and just comes off as quirky or "odd", peers might not "get" the nature of her differences and she'll be fair game. The sooner she learns to understand what her peers make of the choices she makes, the more capable she will become socially.
Is this 4th for her? 4th can be a tough year for kids on spectrum. It's an age when their typical peers become hard-wired for conformity and wary of "outliers" who don't follow the social norms of the tweens. The complexity and subtlety of this age group is remarkable. Another issue, specific to girls with ASD is that they're often adopted by other girls in their classes in the primary grades who help them learn the ways of the group and help them fit in. This changes some time between 4th and middle school when their former friends/protectors get exasperated by their immaturity.
DS did a lot of Michelle Garcia Winner "Social Thinking" at this age. It helped him take note of what his peers valued and were doing. Helping him understand his peers were judging him on choices he made to be one the class helped him make choices to be like his peers- Theory of Mind 101. This helped him be truly included and put him on a path to do things like scouts, band and be employed in a regular job as opposed to a vocational rehab supported setting.
mypalbabs...sorry. I did some Ambien posting last night, and never returned. They were question marks, not what ever weird emoji pulled up!! I didn't even realize I posted until another post I didn't remember got liked, and I realized I should proooobabaly look back at "recent" posts.
I know better than to stay up after Ambien. Usually.
I have been trying to steer DD (7) into older stuff this year. I probably would have tried to discourage the Doc backpack, but also probably wouldn't have started WWIII over it either not in 4/5th grade. Middle school I def would have given a flat no. It's tough. I am trying to give her the outward appearance of 'normality' as much as possible, but then wonder if I am doing the wrong thing bab how do you navigate some of this as they get older?
I am winging it man! I try to do the best I can, and just operate knowing that I love her and am making every effort to give her a happy life. There are times when it is just so overwhelming. I'm sure you are doing an excellent job with your DD!!
mypalbabs...sorry. I did some Ambien posting last night, and never returned. They were question marks, not what ever weird emoji pulled up!! I didn't even realize I posted until another post I didn't remember got liked, and I realized I should proooobabaly look back at "recent" posts.
I know better than to stay up after Ambien. Usually.
Post by gretchenwieners on Sept 5, 2015 8:11:59 GMT -5
My step daughter has a developmental delay and her mom has always "babied" her (talks and treats her like she's a child but she's a senior in HS now) and been ok with things she wants that are well below her age (cartoons and dolls in 9th and 10th grade, does the homework for her that is "too hard", etc). My H has tried to push my SD out of her comfort zone and she seems to gain confidence every time she is successful outside her norm, but at the end of the day, she's still where she is developmentally, socially and mentally so there is a struggle with either let her be or aim the bar high, to protect her or push her.
As for the backpack, I agree with other posts, there was a difference in kids' attitudes once she hit 6th/7th grade that wasn't there in elementary.
i think it's great that you are asking these questions. You're doing a great job!
As for the backpack, I agree with other posts, there was a difference in kids' attitudes once she hit 6th/7th grade that wasn't there in elementary.
i think it's great that you are asking these questions. You're doing a great job!
Here the attitude change and bullying started in mainstream in 4th and peaked around 6th/7th. By high school, kids were a lot more live and let live. A number of DS's classmates had really positive and nice things to say about him at his Eagle ceremony when he was a senior.
I think the Doc bag will be perfectly fine. Ds is on the spectrum but he's 16. His tastes in certain things haven't really matured. In many ways he has "typical" interests like video games, computers, engineering etc, but on the other hand he wants to buy a stuffed animal when we are at gift shops. :/ So, despite my gentle teachings re:age appropriate things, he just likes what he likes and some things have just stuck. He isn't bullied about it, to my knowledge anyway.
Yes! My brother is 21 with Aspergers. On some levels he's a typical kid (he has the mentality of a 14 year old) but he loves stuffed animals and has quite the collection.