Good gift or dumb gift?

[krystee]

We want to name a star for our nephew who just passed. I am aware these companies are scams, in that official star/space organizations do not recognize the names and in fact the various star naming companies are all selling naming rights to the same stars. So obviously the name is not official--I get it. But at the same time, I think it would be cool for them to have a certificate with a star in his name and coordinates that they could look at to see "his" star. Who cares if the official people don't recognize it if it makes them feel good? And yet it kills me to send money to these people who are selling names to things they have no rights to or ownership of. We could all open star naming companies tomorrow and just take money from grieving people. So I'm torn, but H wants to still do it. What do you think?

[cricketwife]

I would rather donate to a charity, but what would the deceased's parents want? I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Deleted]

Would they like it? I mean, do you know they would find comfort in it? Or do you think they would be put off knowing it's not really a star named after him?

[VillainV]

I agree that a donation to a charity might be better.

[huskymom]

What about having a tree planted in his memory? I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

[jewel]

Unless you really think they'd love it, I'd try to find something else. A donation in his name would be great. I don't know what your budget is, but you may be able to make a donation somewhere that comes with a public showing of his name, so it is something your family could always go see. For example - our local zoo/animal sanctuary will let you paint a tile for a $100 donation, and they hang those tiles throughout the zoo. I have a friend who purchased a brick at a local sports stadium in her dad's honor. I know that is more expensive, but they love to see her dad's name at one of his favorite places. Something like that might be nice?

I am very sorry for your family's loss.

[lilac05]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

I think the answer to this is so specific to the family. Some people really like it, others think it's a scam. Someone named a star after DS1 when he was born. I thought it was a very thoughtful gesture, as they included a lovely letter/story/card with it. Of course there might be better ways the money could be used...but if the parents like something they can see, a star may be better than a donation. If something brings them even a fraction of an ounce of comfort in their grief, it is money well-spent.

A tree is a nice idea, but I always worry about something happening to it or the family moving. The tree planted at our local elementary school in memory of a child who passed away didn't make it through last winter. I didn't even know the girl, but it made me incredibly sad. However, on the flip side, my family planted a tree for a child who was late miscarriage/stillborn. My nephews are 15 and 10 and they love seeing that tree at my parents' house. It's obviously very special to them, and they helped plant it. I know the type of tree was very carefully chosen,

[rikki]

Sept 4, 2015 19:45:19 GMT -5 swizz said:

I got DH one of these for his birthday one year and it might be a nice remembrance (you pick a specific day and location and it's a photo of the sky that night). ETA: indigonight.com/

You could do the day/night he was born with a donation to a charity? Or even just a giftcard for your SIL/BIL as I'm sure food, etc is the last thing they want to deal with right now.

I'm so sorry Krystee.

I got this for my husband for our first anniversary. They're really nice.

[alexis]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

The thought to name a star after your nephew is a lovely idea. I wouldn't pay money for a star since as you pointed it out it is a scam. However, there's no reason you can't just pick your favorite star, look up the coordinates and decide to name it after your nephew. It would be just as official and you could probably make a certificate on your computer as nice as whatever they would have sent you.