I feel like I had a pretty good weekend. Got a lot done on Saturday (vacuumed, changed out the litter boxes, steam mopped the bathroom, baked cookies, cooked dinner, and still had time to take a nap and rest). Sunday we took it easy. Ordered take out, watched foot ball, napped...nice and relaxed
Now it's Monday. And H managed to make me feel like shit about not getting the dishes done over the weekend. And he's moping around now because he didn't mean to upset me and doesn't want to be the chore police. Oh and he feels guilty for resting on his days off because he feels like he should be doing something around the house.
*throws hands up in the air*
Also? This seems really passive aggressive.
yep...I've learned to ignore it. Much like one might ignore a three year old throwing a temper tantrum. It does no good to play into it.
It's also the same way I handle my Mom's and Grandmother's passive aggressive behavior.
Post by udscoobychick on Sept 21, 2015 14:01:15 GMT -5
Weekend was great--we had a blast at the festival we went to. Ate all the food and drank all the booze! And we were first in line to get in, which was pretty cool! People kept recognizing us, which was fun.
SwimDeep's story reminds me of when DH and I were watching "To Catch a Contractor" last night. Contractor had left a family's kitchen in unusable shambles for weeks on end. The tv show people were interviewing the father and the daughter, both of whom were all "I get so upset watching Wife/Mom have to do the dishes out in a cooler in the back yard! The contractor is so horrible!" DH was like "Not upset enough to actually, like, help her out or anything, apparently!" We both thought it was ridiculous.
Here's how I've approached conversations like this in the past:
Me: Asshole, you're being a dick. Knock it the fuck off. I'm busting my ass trying to keep shit together and your keeping your ass comfortably fucking drunk on the couch. So I don't want to hear anything more shit about what you think needs to be cleaned and I certainly don't want to know how poorly you think I'm cleaning something.
Him: *cursing* HOW DARE YOU *cursing* I wouldn't be this way if you're family...bull shit bull shit bull shit...blah blah blah.
And he comes up with really good arguments that I'm not good at responding to, so it's kind of like this:
Things are different now. He's sober. I'm sober. We're both working. This is what I want to say:
Husband, I know we've both been extremely busy and stressed out with work the past few months. I think we need to reevaluate how we manage household chores. I know in the past we've handled it with "whoever feels like it needs to be done should do it," but I feel like that leaves one of us shouldering the greater part of the burden. I would really like to look at dividing things more equally between us so that we can manage our expectations better.