I don't understand all this "jumping out of a moving car" business. Are these people not wearing seat belts? When a terrifying spider crawls on me, I brush it off while screaming, I don't reach for the seat belt buckle. PRIORITIES.
When it happened to me, I barely knew I did it. It seemed like in less than a second I had reached for the belt, the door handle, and was out. It wasn't something I consciously formed a plan to do.
I'm not sure why everyone thinks it cute to be flippant about this. Her car was destroyed, her child sent to the hospital. It's a mental health issue that we obviously, as a society, don't think is a very big deal. Yet her child could have died, and I'm not saying that for shock value.
I'm not being flippant at all, it's a huge deal, I'm just not being condescending enough to think that I--some random person reading about what happened on the internet, who doesn't know this mother or kid from Adam--is taking this more seriously than the kid's mother. I agree with mockingbird, if she doesn't get therapy and deal with it now, then she can kick rocks, but for right now, I am under the assumption that she is probably mortified, remorseful, scared and figuring out how to prevent this from ever happening again.
I have a snake phobia. In high school biology, I paid my brother to go through my biology book and cover up all the pics of snakes with post it notes. We were passing around a picture of a snake in class (why Jesus) and someone put it right in front of my face and I started shrieking and hyperventilating. OVER a PICTURE. I won't take my kids anywhere near the reptile stuff at the zoo.
Prior to that, my brothers once threw a snake at me. Just a little black garden snake. I flipped the fuck out and I am pretty sure they got the beating of their lives from my dad; mostly because he had to deal with my hysterics from it. They never did it again.
I have no idea what the fuck I would do if I was driving a car and it happened. I mean, in all likelihood it wouldn't just appear but who the fuck knows? I cannot say I wouldn't jump out of a moving car, though. Hopefully not one I was driving?
OMG, your brother is so much nicer than mine. Periodically just for shock value my brother will mail me a snake postcard. He still does this at almost 30. He would have taken my money, not covered the snakes and mocked me lol!
My father once convinced me there were snow snakes that were deadly and you couldn't see in the snow until they got you. While we were away on a ski vacation. I wouldn't ski the rest of the week. My mom nearly killed him since my life ticket wasn't cheap. And I wasn't sleeping so she wasn't sleeping.
I think the snake throwing incident really set the tone, lol. My dad was not messing around with that EVER again, and the boys didn't want that reaction ever again, either. My parents generally weren't very coddling types, I don't think, but having to deal with hysterical me over something like a snake sent them to the coddling side of things, lol.
FWIW, I do feel bad for her because she probably didn't even realize what she was doing in the moment and I bet she felt absolutely sick about it (and tremendously embarrassed now that it made national news). But still.....doesn't make it okay.
Post by josieposy on Sept 21, 2015 12:54:38 GMT -5
How big could the damn thing have been anyway if she didn't initially notice it crawling on her?
That crash picture is horrifying. Smock made a good point too uphread that she would have had to unbuckle herself. So in what scenario does it make sense to unbuckle and jump out but be like "you're on your own Johhny!" and not put the damn thing in park?
Of course I'm assuming she was actually buckled in.
How big could the damn thing have been anyway if she didn't initially notice it crawling on her?
That crash picture is horrifying. Smock made a good point too uphread that she would have had to unbuckle herself. So in what scenario does it make sense to unbuckle and jump out but be like "you're on your own Johhny!" and not put the damn thing in park?
Of course I'm assuming she was actually buckled in.
The scenario where you're freaking the fuck out. Fear bypasses your thought process.
I have done this. Luckily I wasn't driving. My dad was going about 25 and there was a big one on the seat of his truck and I tucked and rolled right out the door. I am fucking terrified of spiders.
I assume i would have the presence of mind to pull over and stop if this happened to me, but I have a pretty uncontrollable reaction to them usually, it's a complete flight response (there is no fight option). Of course it's illogical and over the top, that's what phobias are. And I am too afraid of therapy for it to go, because every doctor has told me CBT for this involves eventually holding one. That is enough to keep me from going.
That would be the goal. But your therapist isn't going to hand you a spider your first session. Most likely your first session they'd want you to look at pictures, then be in the same room as one in a cage... it would be a super gradual progression.
I get that, but even looking at pictures is not manageable to me now. It's a really upsetting prospect to subject myself to something that makes me panic.
I have a snake phobia. In high school biology, I paid my brother to go through my biology book and cover up all the pics of snakes with post it notes. We were passing around a picture of a snake in class (why Jesus) and someone put it right in front of my face and I started shrieking and hyperventilating. OVER a PICTURE. I won't take my kids anywhere near the reptile stuff at the zoo.
Prior to that, my brothers once threw a snake at me. Just a little black garden snake. I flipped the fuck out and I am pretty sure they got the beating of their lives from my dad; mostly because he had to deal with my hysterics from it. They never did it again.
I have no idea what the fuck I would do if I was driving a car and it happened. I mean, in all likelihood it wouldn't just appear but who the fuck knows? I cannot say I wouldn't jump out of a moving car, though. Hopefully not one I was driving?
Snakes are not only on planes, eclaires, they are also in cars. Therefore, please go to therapy. In the meantime, please do not ever be alone with your children again. Furthermore, please refer us to your state DMV so that we can make sure your license is revoked. Thanks.
Post by anastasia517 on Sept 21, 2015 13:28:23 GMT -5
This thread has freaked me out. I keep feeling like there is something on me now. I made DH pull over just after we backed out of our driveway once to kill a spider that I saw on the floor. I had my feet up and was yelling at him. I haven't had to deal with one while driving, but I doubt it would go much better.
The thought of CBT therapy as described with a spider for any of my phobias sounds terrible. I can't even discuss blood much before feeling all woozy. I had to leave a biology class in high school when we were talking about somebody bleeding out because it made me light headed and sick. I fainted seeing somebody bleeding on TV once and came close a couple other times. My own form of therapy for that was starting to watch TV shows where there is blood since I know it is fake but even then I can't handle certain things or if it is pouring out (ex. the last shot of the Red Wedding on GOT). Vomit also puts me firmly in the "flight" portion of fight or flight (again, even on TV). Clearly, some people would say I should not have children unless I "cure" myself of them.
I just want to say that I have had spider incidents in my car while driving. While I my instinctive reaction is to jump and run, while I'm driving in a car (i.e. trapped/backed into a corner), I kill that fucker with fucking swiftness. I don't even think. The arachnid dies. End of story.
If my kid were in the car, I don't think I would even flinch. The creepy thing would be dead and the day would go on.
My cousin rear ended someone and totaled her SUV (cousin's) because there was a spider in the car crawling down the windshield towards her. Luckily no one was hurt.
OK - so now I've read the thread, and all I can think about is the story (I think it was an MLer) about the lady who not only had a spider in her car, but an entire nest of spider babies inside her car. And she didn't notice they were there until she got into her car, started the engine...and looked up.
"Spiders are common" - Uh... do y'all have spiders living in your car on a regular basis? You have nests of them hanging out in your vehicle? I know I don't. Even if she does have a spider phobia, I think it's reasonable to expect that one is not going to surprise you in your car while you're driving.
It may depend on the area, but they are very common here. Last week one was crawling on my window while I was driving. When I got to a stoplight, I smooshed it with a piece of paper I had handy.
I also almost walked into one dangling from my ceiling in my house yesterday. That one freaked me out because it almost touched me.
I don't live in a spider's nest, but I do live in an area with a lot of mature trees and shrubbery and that results in tons of bugs (and spiders love bugs so it means lots of spiders). There isn't a whole lot I can do about it and I hate to think that it is acceptable for my neighbors or I to just jump out of our moving vehicles if one touches us...that would be extremely dangerous to live around
I get that some people have legitimately severe phobias where they cannot control their behavior. I have no way of knowing if this woman is one of those people, but I have to think that a fear of being seriously injured or having my child seriously injured as a result of abandoning a moving vehicle would be stronger than a fear response to a spider IN MOST CASES. Maybe this was just the unlucky one in several million people who have a stronger fear of a bug than of their child being killed. If so, she definitely shouldn't be driving.
I'm not sure why everyone thinks it cute to be flippant about this. Her car was destroyed, her child sent to the hospital. It's a mental health issue that we obviously, as a society, don't think is a very big deal. Yet her child could have died, and I'm not saying that for shock value.
I'm not being flippant at all, it's a huge deal, I'm just not being condescending enough to think that I--some random person reading about what happened on the internet, who doesn't know this mother or kid from Adam--is taking this more seriously than the kid's mother. I agree with mockingbird, if she doesn't get therapy and deal with it now, then she can kick rocks, but for right now, I am under the assumption that she is probably mortified, remorseful, scared and figuring out how to prevent this from ever happening again.
Ok, I get this.
I do think that she did probably know it was a problem, though. One that should have been worked on before she jumped out of a moving car with her kid in it. An ounce of prevention and all that.
"Spiders are common" - Uh... do y'all have spiders living in your car on a regular basis? You have nests of them hanging out in your vehicle? I know I don't. Even if she does have a spider phobia, I think it's reasonable to expect that one is not going to surprise you in your car while you're driving.
It may depend on the area, but they are very common here. Last week one was crawling on my window while I was driving. When I got to a stoplight, I smooshed it with a piece of paper I had handy.
I also almost walked into one dangling from my ceiling in my house yesterday. That one freaked me out because it almost touched me.
I don't live in a spider's nest, but I do live in an area with a lot of mature trees and shrubbery and that results in tons of bugs (and spiders love bugs so it means lots of spiders). There isn't a whole lot I can do about it and I hate to think that it is acceptable for my neighbors or I to just jump out of our moving vehicles if one touches us...that would be extremely dangerous to live around
I get that some people have legitimately severe phobias where they cannot control their behavior. I have no way of knowing if this woman is one of those people, but I have to think that a fear of being seriously injured or having my child seriously injured as a result of abandoning a moving vehicle would be stronger than a fear response to a spider IN MOST CASES. Maybe this was just the unlucky one in several million people who have a stronger fear of a bug than of their child being killed. If so, she definitely shouldn't be driving.
You're trying to rationalize it. Phobias aren't rational.
It isn't her fear of spiders vs. caring for her child. It's fear. Terrifying, overwhelming fear that bypasses all thoughts and feelings.
This is one more example of why we need better mental health care in our country. We need easy access to treatment without shame.
I think I read fear of spiders and snakes is not irrational. The fear is part of human biology. Something about the fear being passed down in DNA as part of our survival technique. Many of us have this fear and that's why we are alive today. Or something like that.
Her response though, crashing her car and almost killing the person she passed her DNA on to seems to negate that theory. Lol.
And I agree that if you have extreme reactions to this normal fear you should probably seek help and not drive. My aunt nearly took out a bunch of people in this exact same scenario. Luckily she didn't. That time.
I think I read fear of spiders and snakes is not irrational. The fear is part of human biology. Something about the fear being passed down in DNA as part of our survival technique. Many of us have this fear and that's why we are alive today. Or something like that.
Her response though, crashing her car and almost killing the person she passed her DNA on to seems to negate that theory. Lol.
YES!!! I am just trying to survive!
For the record see my previous posts, I would have more likely been half naked before jumping out of the car.
Post by msmerymac on Sept 21, 2015 14:44:45 GMT -5
I'm pretty arachnophobic. Like, I told my husband he had to water the plants about 3 weeks ago because there was a huge spider living on the rose bush. Our tomato plants are dying because he hasn't done it. So I went out yesterday to do it, turned on the spigot, and a spider dropped out from underneath. Yes, I screamed. No, it wasn't that big.
There's a definitely cut off at how big a spider needs to be for me to flip out. Oh, although I almost put my hand on a daddy long legs who was apparently busy crawling up the wall when I went to turn on a light switch the other day. Yes, I screamed. Daddy long legs aren't terrible as far as spiders go, but I sure as hell don't want to touch one, either.
Anyway, I got in my car on Friday night and thought I saw a thin thread of spider web on the inside of the windshield. I was alone, and I considered what I would do if a spider crawled on me. First, it would have to have been big for me to see it and freak out. Also, it was dark, so it would have to be big for me to see it period. Second, I know I would have ditched my car by pulling over, throwing it in park, and leaving the car.
I'm pretty sure my rational brain would kick in and tell me that diving out of a moving car was a bigger risk than waiting 5 seconds with the spider on me.
I think I read fear of spiders and snakes is not irrational. The fear is part of human biology. Something about the fear being passed down in DNA as part of our survival technique. Many of us have this fear and that's why we are alive today. Or something like that.
Her response though, crashing her car and almost killing the person she passed her DNA on to seems to negate that theory. Lol.
Well, my stepfather pointed out that I probably inherited my arachnophobia from my mom.
I'm not sure why everyone thinks it cute to be flippant about this. Her car was destroyed, her child sent to the hospital. It's a mental health issue that we obviously, as a society, don't think is a very big deal. Yet her child could have died, and I'm not saying that for shock value.
I'm not being flippant at all, it's a huge deal, I'm just not being condescending enough to think that I--some random person reading about what happened on the internet, who doesn't know this mother or kid from Adam--is taking this more seriously than the kid's mother. I agree with mockingbird, if she doesn't get therapy and deal with it now, then she can kick rocks, but for right now, I am under the assumption that she is probably mortified, remorseful, scared and figuring out how to prevent this from ever happening again.
I find it strange that people are all over this mom like she is the worst person ever for simply having a fight or flight response to a phobia, yet if the same mom left her baby in a grocery store cart or hot car because she was tired, the same people would probably be defending her like crazy. Both actions are careless and put your child in danger.
It's fight or flight. You can't always control the response.
Also, I like to think I am a strong mama bear and would do anything to keep my kids safe, but I honestly can't say how I would react to having a cockroach crawl on me in the car. I am deathly afraid of roaches.
Also, I like to think I am a strong mama bear and would do anything to keep my kids safe, but I honestly can't say how I would react to having a cockroach crawl on me in the car. I am deathly afraid of roaches.
turn your fear into hate. Because this thing causes you to fear, it puts those you love in danger - therefore it is worthy of your hatred. Hate it enough and you can kill it.
OK - so now I've read the thread, and all I can think about is the story (I think it was an MLer) about the lady who not only had a spider in her car, but an entire nest of spider babies inside her car. And she didn't notice they were there until she got into her car, started the engine...and looked up.
Anybody remember who that was?
Ha. I was just coming in to post the story. Fortunately, I was in a parking lot when the spiders rained down on me. But still.
Also, I like to think I am a strong mama bear and would do anything to keep my kids safe, but I honestly can't say how I would react to having a cockroach crawl on me in the car. I am deathly afraid of roaches.
turn your fear into hate. Because this thing causes you to fear, it puts those you love in danger - therefore it is worthy of your hatred. Hate it enough and you can kill it.
That's what I do anyway.
That's a great way to think of it. I'll have to work on that.