Working Mom Schedules

[Deleted]

I'm still working on this.

I workout maybe once a week right now. This will change when I've weaned and I'm less paranoid about dieting/losing supply. ETA and I'm not pumping or nursing all the time lol.

We do a shitton on weekends (like grocery shopping, etc). My H is home to do things like laundry but his two jobs are childcare and job hunting, so he doesn't do much else than that. I take time off for things I need to do.

Yeah, it sucks. You prioritize what you need and I do so every day. Sometimes shit doesn't get done. *shrugs* I only have so much mental bandwidth.

[lemondrop]

Dr's appointments, (during the day)
grocery shopping (once a week),
laundry (a load or so a day),
cooking (quick, healthy meals right after work),
car repairs (DH is a car fanatic),
home maintenance (DH is handy),
children's sick days (I stay home),
working out (hahahah),
sex (you make it happen),
keeping up with family (family? Skype)

[julez]

For me at least, a lot just plain doesn't get done. Our house is never quite clean, I find it hard to return phone calls/write thank yous/send birthday cards in a timely manner, and the dogs don't get an hour of playtime everyday like the used to. Things just kind of... keep moving, but there are always loose ends.

Since DD was born, I've lived with the nagging feeling of knowing that I'm not really doing anything at 100%, including being a parent. It sucks.

[fluff]

I don't. It's overwhelming, actually, and something I stress about often.

ETA: Don't forget helping kids with homework and projects when they are school aged.

[callalily]

Its really hard. Sometimes things go by the wayside. I've learned to be ok with somethings not being perfect, like my house is never perfectly clean.

We do all grocery shopping on Friday afternoons. All laundry, dishes and everything get done usually after the kids go to bed. I am really lucky that my pedi offers night hours, so we usually schedule things for evenings. My husbands job is pretty flexible, so he occasionally will take time to do things. I don't have time to work out, it just is what it is. Hopefully that will change at some point. We also meal plan every Sunday, and prep for the entire week. That helps a ton. Our weekends are really busy, but we make time to calm down a bit and just relax.

Sometimes it really sucks, but you just do it. What gets done, gets done. Other things wait. It just is what it is.

[EmilieMadison]

-Dr appts: schedule them for when you can get them for yourself and leave work for an hour, or go on your lunch break. Try to do the same for kid appts.

- grocery shopping: Saturday. Sunday. After work.

- laundry: Throw in a load in the evening, fold while watching tv. Or do several loads on a weekend.

- cooking: when you get home from work, you start dinner (perhaps you've prepped some of it the night before)

-car repairs: whenever the shop has openings?

-home maintenance: evenings, weekends.

-children's sick days: whichever parent's job is most flexible (at that moment, or in general) will stay home with the sick child or perhaps they're lucky enough to have a family member who can be with the sick child

-working out: lunch hour, before work, after work, weekends, evenings

-sex: neither SAHMs nor working moms aren't having sex with themselves during business hours (...) so obviously it happens when both parents are together (before bed, when they wake up, in the middle of the night, etc).

-keeping up with friends/family: when time permits. Assuming most other family/friends work as well, it typically happens evenings, weekends, holidays, and possibly through text/phone/email during the day at work.

[jaylea]

I could steal a line from several of the PPs.

Namely - it's all a juggling act (LHC), things just don't always get done at 100% ever (julez) and it's overwhelming and a huge source of stress in my life (fluff).

ETA: the actual responses to questions asked:

- doctor's appts are during the day. We take time off to do them. The reality is that the kids' appts. happen and ours (H's and mine) don't as regularly as they should.

- car repairs - during the day, happen when they need to. Typically we just drop one off, carpool, and get a ride to pick it up when it's done.

- workouts... this is hard. I fit it in when I can. Either we take family bike rides in the evenings or I work out after both kids are in bed - at 8:30pm. That doesn't work so well. I am hoping to join the gym at work and squeeze in some time during the day.

Everything else - grocery shopping, home repairs, etc. have to be fit in on the weekends/evenings. The reality is that taking time on the weekend to do something fun means something on your chore list doesn't get done. It's a tradeoff.

[candreco]

^o)

You just do it. Take time off of work for doctors appointments and sick kids (and telework too), grocery shop on the weekends, laundry gets done in the evenings (it's not like you have to sit and watch it), dinner gets cooked at dinner time, house repairs get done in the evening or on the weekend, cars get dropped off before work and picked up after, work out in the evenings, sex at bed time, regular weekly dinner with friends and hang out/talk to other friends and family on weekends. I even have time to be involved at church, do little projects at home, etc. We leave at 6:30am and are home by 4:30, DD goes to bed around 7:30 and then DH and I go to bed at 10:30, so we've got a chunk of family time and a chunk of grown up time every day. Does absolutely everything get done every day? Absolutely not, but I doubt a SAHM always gets everything done that she wanted to.

And also, DH and I split the kid and household stuff 50/50. We have similar jobs with the same hours, and commute together. It's not like I'm doing everything at home on top of working full time.

[calledout]

I do home-stuff at work, and work-stuff at home. I outsource as much as I can - cleaning, laundry, lawn care / house maintenance and really don't fret if the rest doesn't happen. I work out in the mornings before the kids wake up. Things just fall into place.

My sister and SIL SAH and I do notice that they do tend to do a lot of things that I would never in a jillion years consider doing - homemade baked goods, for ex. (that's why god invented bakeries). Another ex: the other day my sister mentioned that she had to wash the same shirt 3 or 4 times to get a stain out. Say what!?!? In my world, after the first wash it either gets (A) worn anyway (lol!); or B) tossed in the trash.

[nahoku]

My husband and I share the work of a lot of the things you mention. More often than not, I stay home with the kids if they're sick, but he does too when he can and he is also able to work from home when he does. He does his own laundry and DS's, I do mine and DD's. He takes care of most car maintenance stuff either himself or makes the appointments/brings them in. We both do an equal amount of cooking.

I only work 36 hours, Mon-Thurs, so I try and do most of our doctor/dentist appt on Fridays, otherwise work is pretty flexible in letting me take time off for that.

I try to either do the groceries on the weekend or before I pick the kids up from preschool/daycare. I'll bring them along if I have to but it's so much faster without them.

I utilize the YMCA's childcare if DH isn't home when I want to go to the gym or do a workout DVD at home.

We just started having someone come to clean the house every other week, which has been a great help. But cleaning the house is usually the first thing to fall to the bottom of the to-do list unless we're having company.

As far as sex, DH is persistent

Keeping up with family and friends - I talk to my sister and mom pretty much every day. My girlfriends and I try to do a HH monthly among other things, we usually still do something for birthdays.

And, I've also just had to remind myself that sometimes the house stuff won't get done and that's okay. Trust, I do not have my shit together most of the time. And it's only been recently, like this year, that I've started to feel like I have some sort of a balance in my life. My house is often flameworthily messy and sometimes I eat Lean Cuisines for lunch, but whatever. I'm lucky that I have my Friday to get some of this stuff done and it will be even more open once DS starts school in a couple of weeks.

[Deleted]

I work out really early in the morning before DS wakes up. I get to work by 7:30 and only take a half hour lunch so I can leave by 4:00. This allows me to schedule doctor appointments during clinics after hours times. I do grocery shopping once a week. I try to make dinners simple so it doesn't take long to cook. Or I do crockpot dinners. DH does most car maintenance. He also does most home maintenance and laundry because he gets home two hours before me and the kid. Sometimes we fall behind on laundry so we'll each throw loads in randomly during the week. We do most of our house cleaning on Saturday during DS's morning nap.

Keeping up with family and friends, I don't know. It just seems to happen randomly. We go to a barbecue on Saturday night or meet some friends for lunch on Sunday. It's generally kept to the weekend, but every once in a while we'll do dinner out with someone during the week.

DS's sick days - I just take sick leave. I have it, DH doesn't. So I take it or we lose money.

Sex just happens when we have time and feel like it. But it is usually at night, right before sleep.

[Deleted]

And yeah, like others said - sometimes stuff just doesn't get done that day. Schedules have to move around and you have to be okay with not doing everything every day.

[eddy]

I do better with a schedule. I actually get less done when I have more downtime.

I am very lucky to have a flexible employer. It makes dr appts, sick days etc and the like easy. My husband is every bit of a parent that I am so there is two of us juggling. His employer is flexible as well.

I am not the best at keeping up with friends. This is where I drop the ball.

I work out in the mornings or on my lunch. Or I include my kids in the workout.

There is always time for sex and what not.

I don't know you get used to it. Somedays are crazy and somedays you are like "I got this."

[jaylea]

Aug 22, 2012 10:00:54 GMT -5 eddy said:

I don't know you get used to it. Somedays are crazy and somedays you are like "I got this."

And this too. I find that I am usually hit with the crazy days immediately following my "I got this" days. Just to slap me back to reality. lol.

[Deleted]

Aug 22, 2012 10:00:54 GMT -5 eddy said:

Somedays are crazy and somedays you are like "I got this."

I feel like this a lot too. There are some days when I'm handling everything just fine and I think "Two days ago, this would have driven me crazy!"

[LLL]

Dr. appts- During the work week. I try to schedule them either as the first morning appt. or the last of the day.
Grocery shopping- weekend. grab things as needed on our way home
Laundry- once or twice a week after bedtime
cooking- after work, I stick to meals that take about 30 mins or so during the week
car repairs-n/a
home maitenance- whenever I feel up to it
children's sick days- both of our jobs are pretty flexible so this has rarely been an issue
working out- we have a gym at work. yoga on sundays
sex- same as everyone else
keeping up with friends/family- weekends, holidays, FB

[picklepie09]

Schedules Schedules Schedules. I cook for the entire week on Sundays. i make a bunch of chicken so I just have to add the sides and fixings. I do laundry when the kids go to bed and I get a ton done on the weekends. Its getting rather crazy now with football and activities but I have a husband that does at least 50% of the work.

I also have my kids on a schedule. Get up, get dressed, breakfast, brush teeth, then if time permits a bit of TV (this is the summer schedule). My kids go to bed early.. 8:30 in the summer.. 8 during school. If I didn't have my husband I wouldn't be able to do that.

[EmilieMadison]

Aug 22, 2012 10:01:51 GMT -5 cjoy said:

House husband.

:Y:

[eddy]

Also this is the only way I know to parent so it doesn't seem to insane to me you know? I have always worked outside of maternity leave. So I guess I am just so beat down I don't even know how crazy life really is lol.

[tigress]

My commute is practically nonexistent. (I live 1 mile from work, however daycare is 4 miles in the opposite direction. But still, not much commute.)

Right now life is hectic as I am also coaching daily a high school diving team. So, extra busy.

So my schedule is this:
5:30 get up
6:30 leave the house with the girls
6:45 drop off girls
7:15-3:30 work
3:45-5:15 coach
I'm usually free after that unless there is a meet.

If I need to grocery shop I try to do that on the weekend, or quick right after practice, as once I'm home, I'm home. H picks up the girls every day these days. When I'm not coaching (so anytime not August-first week in November) I pick them up usually 3 times a week, he gets them the other 2. I try to grocery shop before I pick them up (I get off at 3:30 but have until 4:30 to pick them up) or on the days that H picks them up. We eat dinner a little later (like 7ish usually) so that gives us time to cook.

Laundry is usually a weekend activity and finishes up as necessary. I sometimes throw a load in here and there.

H does all car repairs and home maintenance. He works Sunday-Wednesday and has Thursday-Saturday off. Girls go to daycare full time so he has daytimes free Thursday and Friday with no distractions, so he is productive then.

H and I alternate sick days. His work is very forgiving, if he's been there for a certain amount of hours he doesn't have to use sick time. Its great. But we still alternate. I schedule time off for scheduled doc appointments and other things.

I work out sometimes at lunch, or right when I get home before dinner because if I eat and sit then its not happening. H and I are currently working out together in our basement so we bring the girls down there and they hang out while we work out for 30ish minutes.

Our sex life is pitiful these days. Like I think we have done it once in the last month. It used to be at least 1 time a week but since having baby 2 we have dropped off badly. So I guess we are handling everything pretty well except for that....

[Deleted]

I have never been as organized as I am since having the boys.

We list out EVERYthing. We coordinate via Google Calendar. It's insanity.

[cleo29]

I stay home, but my only suggestion is to pick one thing and give each a day to do it. Doctors appointment I would try to make for the morning, so at most you may just miss a little bit of work. This is what my H has done. Also, I think you divide and conquer between you and your H.

Even for being home, I don't always get things done when I want to since kids can mess things up.

[Deleted]

I do a lot on my lunch hours, but I get out of work at 4:30 so I can squeeze in a lot after work as well. My DS's babysitter is about a mile from my office, so I bring him for haircuts, dr appts, etc., on my lunch hour. I work out either before work (5:45 am) or after DS goes to bed (7:30-8pm). I don't cook fancy dinners, our house could always use more cleaning but its not too bad. There isn't any big secret, you just do it.

[ering1115]

I was feeling like I was drowning in housework for a long time. One day I put together a schedule and it has been working pretty well for the past 2 months.

Every day- make dinner, clean dinner, DS bath, unpack/pack for daycare, pick up toys/books
Su- wipe down bathroom, wipe down kitchen, change sheets/towels, laundry, vacuum/swiffer
M- laundry, clean bedrooms, put away clothes
Tu- put away clothes, vacuum/swiffer, clean living room
W- clean bathroom
Th- laundry (as needed), clean kitchen, vacuum/swiffer, shark steam mop
F- put away clothes, wipe down bathroom, meal plan

We usually grocery shop on Saturday or Sunday depending on our weekends. I like to make a more involved dinner on Sunday and I try to cook once/eat twice when possible.

Dr appts and sick days just depend on who has the better schedule that day. We are lucky where I work 7a-330p and DH works 9-6 so we each have some level of flexibility.

Sex- we aim for every other day. We are both happier when it is more often but we try for every other day.

Keeping up with friends/family- I use my commute to call my mom and we make plans well in advance and keep a family google calendar to keep up with friends and for family parties.

[Deleted]

yeah yeah, planning and organization.

but really, it's also about learning to let go of your vice-like grip on your day. oh, you WANTED to breeze through a pediatrician appointment from 8:30-9, drop the kid off, be at your desk at 9:30, work through lunch, leave at 6, eat dinner, put the kid to bed and work out? that's nice. but the pediatrician is late, work drops a fireball on you, and while you still have to leave at 6 to get the kid, you're sending emails in the car, you're not working out that day because you have to work-work after bed, and maybe you're eating a PB&J for dinner.

the keys are not to have an asshole for a spouse (i.e., you have to have someone who is really and truly supportive), flexibility, and making your world a bit smaller/learning to accept being a little bit less in some areas some of the time.

right now, i'm kicking ass in the local friend, immediate work, hobby, and laundry departments. i'm sucking at long distance friendships, long-term marketing work stuff, working out, and meals (helloooo frozen food aisle + a salad every night). oh well. i'm happy, i still HAVE friends, i'm in relatively good health, and things will flip flop over the next few months and i'll deal.

[livinitup]

How do you fit in
Dr's appointments, - evening appts. or weekends, or take a day off
grocery shopping, - Once a week, and a few staples on the way home from work (10 minute stop-in stuff)
laundry, - DH does his, I do a load every other day and it doesn't build up
cooking, - I have a system.
car repairs, - we commute together / or borrow each others when its in the shop (DH can work from home)
home maintenance, - pay for a house cleaner, painter and do repairs on weekends, plus DH does a TON of household cleaning/pick-up
children's sick days, - DH or I switch using sick days, I have a back-up neighbor if needed (but never used)
working out, - one evening a week with a running group, 2x a morning before work
sex, - whenever we want
keeping up with family and friends, - mostly on my commute and at work - I can email and call from my office + weekend fun and
EVERYTHING ELSE - DH is a full partner who does half, I don't think a lot of SAHMs have my level of support from their partners - not in a bad way, just in a division of household work way. We're both bringing in money so we both do the work around the house. So, sometimes we pay for stuff we can d ourselves if we had more time or just share the workload.

around a 40 hour week and commuting?

When I was out of work I had a lot more time to get things done, but I honestly don't think I did more. I had more time so I took more time. I also use the internet for a lot of shopping and getting deals and I've used my lunch hour at work for personal errands. And I watch less TV when I'm really busy.

[revolution]

Everyday is a new adventure. ha. Seriously, I consider it successful if everyone has clean clothes to wear the next day and something to eat.

Dr. Appts - for me or the kids, first thing in the morning. I can be a little late for work and work through my lunch that day. Unless a kiddo is getting a shot, then I do it as late in the day as possible.

Grocery Shopping - weekends

Laundry - mostly weekends, a load maybe during the week

cooking - HAHAHAHAHA. we get home at 6ish, so we find meals that can be completely cooked in about 20 minutes. it's fun. or we take out.

car repairs - we drop off the night before and figure out how we are getting to work the next day

home maintenance - evenings/weekends

kids sick - we take a vacation day or sick day

working out - hahahaha

sex - hahahaha, ok, when the kids are asleep as long as I have an ounce of energy left

family/friends - schedule time to hang out with them

seriously, it's not perfect. my house is never clean enough, there is always laundry to do, there is always stuff to go get. I do run errands during lunchtime too. We do make sure we do something fun as a family at least one weekend day and after work during the week we try to do something fun.

and then add in gymnastics and swimming lessons and other kid stuff.

I use my lunch time to pay bills or run errands or clip coupons or walk the parking lot. Whatever needs to be done I try to do over lunch if possible.

[blackkitty]

It's not that hard, and I am a single mom (full time during school year) and my son has special needs to but I seem to do it all.
My schedule usually is:
6:00 - wake up, coffee, eat, make lunches
6:30 - get son up, make his breakfast
6:45 - shower, get ready
7:15 - drive him to school then drive to work
8-4:30 - work, errands on lunch break or if I need to get my nails done or eyebrows waxed, shop, etc.
5:30 - home, feed my son get ready for gym, clean up or do dishes, etc.
6-8 - gym
8-9 - get son ready for bed and in bed
9-10 meditate or read or have sex
10-11 get ready for bed and go to sleep
rinse, repeat

How do you fit in:
Dr's appointments - I go on my lunch break or I just tell my boss I have to go. Because my son has special needs so he has more appts than normal plus I have dental issues so I go to the dentist a lot. My boss is understanding.
Grocery shopping - I just go on Sat or Sun no big deal
Laundry - two loads during week, two on the weekend. NBD
Cooking - I make very simple stuff, my son hates anything that isn't plain anyway
Car repairs - don't really have this issue, but if I do my parents drop me off and then drive me to work
Home maintenance - live in an apartment
Children's sick days - usually my mom will watch my son
Working out - 3 nights a week, my gym has awesome child care. We go at like 6 or 7. Then we swim together.
Sex - after my son goes to bed
Keeping up with family and friends - weekends usually, plus I have friends that I work out with and have lunch with during the week
Commuting - mine is short, like 20 min

ETA: I have a daily list of personal calls I need to make or errands or things I need to get done. I clean and pay bills on the weekend. I don't have to deal with a husband so that makes things easier too... no one to fight with or try to delegate to and get annoyed if they don't get things done. Less laundry and cleaing too.

[picklepie09]

Oh sex.. wait forgot that one. We have sex very rarely. Once a week on Fridays usually.
I grocery shop every Sunday.
Drs appts dentists etc I schedule them all for the same day if I can. I have two kids so at least if they can both see the doc the same day its helpful

[tigress]

H and I have linked calendars on our phone that we use quite a bit also to keep up with life.