So my sweet little girl is no more. Last night DD2 had a HORRENDOUS meltdown. I had to pick up a script from the pharmacy at Target. I told them both that we were only going in to get that and then leaving. DD2 asked if they could get candy. I said no becuase we weren't going through the checkout line. She whined about it a bit, but then dropped it. We get in and she wants to ride in a cart. We didn't need one, but I was ok with that so I grab one and she decides she wants to stand on the back. Ok, fine. We get to the pharmacy, I get my script, she now wants to get in the cart. Ok, fine. I help her in and then DD1 stands on the back of the cart to ride back to the front. But NOOOOOOOO, DD2 will have none of that and starts hitting at DD1 to let go of the cart. I told her to stop and leave her alone. She continues to hit at her. So I grab her and take her out of the cart (with her hooking her feet onto any part of the cart she can to stay in). I get her out and DD1 grabs back on and we start walking back to the front all the while DD2 is now crying and yelling "MOOOMMMMMYYYY!" "YOU'RE MEAN!" all that good stuff. We get out to the car and I thought she'd put up a fight about getting in the car and getting buckled. She didn't, but she wouldn't buckle herself so I did. I get in the front and she starts again with the "YOU'RE MEAN" "I WANT A NEW MOMMY" "I HATE YOU". I told her that I hated the way she was acting and that I could drop her off somewhere and she could find a new mommy then (note that I really wouldn't, but it was how I reacted to her saying that). She's kicking the back of my seat the entire way home. I told her she was going to cause an accident and she said she didn't care. Finally, I told her that she no longer gets a quarter after gymnastics to buy candy from the machine. Well that set her off all over again with the crying and the "PUHLEASE MOMMY???" "I'M SORRY MOMMY!" I told her it was too late to apologize and that she should have stopped this behavior when it started in Target.
Anyway, we get home and she's laying on the floor while I'm heating dinner up. She's playing with the kitchen chair and I warn her that it could fall on her and hurt her. Then she gets into the "I don't care, I want to kill myself" "Everyone thinks I'm stupid" So now I go from being pissed to being worried. I didn't know how to react to the "I'll kill myself" other than to tell her not to say that. But I did ask her if someone is telling her she's stupid and she said everyone. I said that wasn't true and that Daddy and I, and her teachers don't think she is and that if someone is telling her that she needs to let me know. DD1 said she wasn't aware of anyone saying that to her either. So now I'm wondering if that was just for attention?!? Well, it worked
But then she was completely fine after gymnastics. She was sweet little DD2 again. I'm not sure what's going on with her or how I can help her. Any advice? FYI.. she's not one to be open about things and she seems to get embarrassed and then clam up about things. Poor baby.
I think both DD and DS were about her age when I first heard "I'm going to kill myself" when they were mad about something. Please don't tell her not to say it, because what she might here is it's not okay to talk about it. Tell her it's okay to be mad/frustrated/whatever, but she needs to manage it appropriately and then give her the tools to handle herself appropriately. Tools can be: walking away, taking some deep belly breaths, writing in a journal, etc.
ETA: I'd probably avoid telling her you're going to leave her some place to find a new mom. Acknowledge she's upset but don't feed into the drama.
Dude. Kids sound hard. I'd probably react as you did because you wouldn't think a young child would even know the idea of suicide. No advice, just sympathy. Hugs.
My random...last night I was doing some Facebook stalking on my iPad, my fat finger accidentally liked a post...I quickly unliked, then filled with panic because it would be mortifying if dude saw I liked this random comment from last month. So I did some testing to see if he would have seen a notification or something. If he has notifications turned on, and he was looking at his phone at that second, he would have seen a notification, but I don't think he'd see what it was for or anything. That scared me off doing that creeping thing. Lol.
I think both DD and DS were about her age when I first heard "I'm going to kill myself" when they were mad about something. Please don't tell her not to say it, because what she might here is it's not okay to talk about it. Tell her it's okay to be mad/frustrated/whatever, but she needs to manage it appropriately and then give her the tools to handle herself appropriately. Tools can be: walking away, taking some deep belly breaths, writing in a journal, etc.
ETA: I'd probably avoid telling her you're going to leave her some place to find a new mom. Acknowledge she's upset but don't feed into the drama.
Good point about the "kill myself" statement. I don't want either of them to think they can't talk to me if they're having troubles. I think I'll have a talk with them this weekend and reiterate that they can talk to me, or XH, about any feeling/issues/concerns... they have about anything. I do want to find out more about this "stupid" talk too. That hurt more than the "new mommy" talk because she really seemed to believe she was stupid
Also, yeah, I felt bad about reacting that way to the new mommy talk. I was near tears myself when she said that and it was a knee jerk reaction to it. I knew she was angry and didn't mean it, but I just blurted it out.
Dude. Kids sound hard. I'd probably react as you did because you wouldn't think a young child would even know the idea of suicide. No advice, just sympathy. Hugs.
My random...last night I was doing some Facebook stalking on my iPad, my fat finger accidentally liked a post...I quickly unliked, then filled with panic because it would be mortifying if dude saw I liked this random comment from last month. So I did some testing to see if he would have seen a notification or something. If he has notifications turned on, and he was looking at his phone at that second, he would have seen a notification, but I don't think he'd see what it was for or anything. That scared me off doing that creeping thing. Lol.
Thanks. Yeah, she's 6. It sure surprised me to hear her say that.
Regarding FB, yeah, I've accidentally friend requested someone when doing FB stalking. I quickly undid it, but wasn't sure if the person actually received the notification or not.
sweetchix hugs I have no advice, but that sounds hard. jigsy I accidentally friend requested and exs mom during a night of stalking, umm awkward abcdefu it looks great!!
I am so full of thoughts and emotions today. I am feeling a certain way and I can't rationalize it or make it make sense to me which then bothers me even more. yay!
I think both DD and DS were about her age when I first heard "I'm going to kill myself" when they were mad about something. Please don't tell her not to say it, because what she might here is it's not okay to talk about it. Tell her it's okay to be mad/frustrated/whatever, but she needs to manage it appropriately and then give her the tools to handle herself appropriately. Tools can be: walking away, taking some deep belly breaths, writing in a journal, etc.
ETA: I'd probably avoid telling her you're going to leave her some place to find a new mom. Acknowledge she's upset but don't feed into the drama.
Good point about the "kill myself" statement. I don't want either of them to think they can't talk to me if they're having troubles. I think I'll have a talk with them this weekend and reiterate that they can talk to me, or XH, about any feeling/issues/concerns... they have about anything. I do want to find out more about this "stupid" talk too. That hurt more than the "new mommy" talk because she really seemed to believe she was stupid
Also, yeah, I felt bad about reacting that way to the new mommy talk. I was near tears myself when she said that and it was a knee jerk reaction to it. I knew she was angry and didn't mean it, but I just blurted it out.
Ugh, hear not here!
Also, my kids still tell me they hate me, from time to time, and my response is always the same (in a very calm, chill voice) "good, then I'm doing my job correctly."
Kids are jerks and will do/say things to get reactions. It's tough, but it happens. I've learned to bite my tongue, take really deep breaths and put myself on time outs so I don't react to them.
Good point about the "kill myself" statement. I don't want either of them to think they can't talk to me if they're having troubles. I think I'll have a talk with them this weekend and reiterate that they can talk to me, or XH, about any feeling/issues/concerns... they have about anything. I do want to find out more about this "stupid" talk too. That hurt more than the "new mommy" talk because she really seemed to believe she was stupid
Also, yeah, I felt bad about reacting that way to the new mommy talk. I was near tears myself when she said that and it was a knee jerk reaction to it. I knew she was angry and didn't mean it, but I just blurted it out.
Ugh, hear not here!
Also, my kids still tell me they hate me, from time to time, and my response is always the same (in a very calm, chill voice) "good, then I'm doing my job correctly."
Kids are jerks and will do/say things to get reactions. It's tough, but it happens. I've learned to bite my tongue, take really deep breaths and put myself on time outs so I don't react to them.
My friend at work, who has 3 grown kids, told me to just wait until they're teenagers. I said that THEN I would expect this kind of talk, but not at 6 years old. Sometimes I really wish there were a manual on parenthood.
Post by jojoandleo on Sept 23, 2015 14:19:16 GMT -5
My four year old nephew randomly said this weekend that he wished everyone was dead, except his mom. And his dad. He wished his dad and everyone else was dead, but not mom. No idea if that is normal or if he is a future serial killer, but, ya know, kids are creepy little fuckers. I don't think he understands the permanence of dead and was more telling us to leave him alone, except mom.
I need lots of good vibes for a house showing tonight. If we could sell it and breakeven the divorce could be final next month. We both still live there with DD2 and it is hard.
My dd just started EXACTLY what your dd is doing ! The whole 'I'm going to kill my self' if she doesn't get her way ... that's in addition to the 'I hate you' 'you're a mean mommie' ' you don't love your child' and ' you don't give me a good life' Eta - she's 6 too
Work was crazy and stressful. Decided to eat out tonight because the thought of cooking did not sound appealing. Then I came home and colored in my Mandela coloring book. I'm pretty sure that is going to become a part of my daily routine. That was the best 20 minutes of today.
My dd just started EXACTLY what your dd is doing ! The whole 'I'm going to kill my self' if she doesn't get her way ... that's in addition to the 'I hate you' 'you're a mean mommie' ' you don't love your child' and ' you don't give me a good life' Eta - she's 6 too