My husband was up way early in the dark getting ready for a job interview. He couldn't find the steamer, so he wakes me up and I realize I have no idea what happened to it. Somehow we lost the steamer and can't even remember the last time it was used. How do things just disappear? I swear there is a thief in our house that takes random stuff just to mess with us.
I've now spent tons of time searching and re-searching every closet, nook, and craney. Nothing but spiders.
I absolutely can't stand losing things. That makes me batty!
Hoping to hang with the hubs tonight since I've been working on this fundraiser all week.
It's "Wear your team colors" day at work (semi eye-roll worthy) and people are shocked I have a maternity shirt with my team on it. Really? Do you not know I'm somewhat obsessed, people?
Post by anyastroud on Sept 25, 2015 9:36:29 GMT -5
Oh I hate that. I lose shit ALL the time. I'm a very disorganized person. Dh usually keeps wallet and keys and important stuff all in one place. I'm more of a
I should be catching up on lesson planning, but instead I'm reading the income/job post on MM moms. It's both fascinating and depressing me.
I hope my post made you feel better at least. It's horribly depressing that H and I together make MAYBE half what a lot of them make just on their own. That and my meeting today with a slightly higher up boss made me realize I really need to work on moving up. There isn't much room for movement in this department so it means I might have to move around. As long as I can keep the same general schedule I'm ok with that!
Post by luv2rn4fun on Sept 25, 2015 11:02:08 GMT -5
I hope you find the steamer soon amaranth! I have a feeling we are about to "lose" a ton of stuff soon (as I keep shoving things away to tidy up for photographer and house showings).
((hugs)) estrellita. I hope you can move up without much trouble and you and your DH are in a much better financial situation (regardless of job changes) soon!
travelbug- I got super excited when you said you were able to walk to some of your errands this morning. I'm really hoping this is an option for us when we move! Either way, we are going to be so much closer to things! Good luck with your wreath making!
C is napping (or trying to) and then we are heading to my mentor/friend's house for a short visit to meet her mom (who lives in New Zealand)! Then I need to get busy with final touches before the photographer arrives at 3:30!
Post by estrellita on Sept 25, 2015 11:20:53 GMT -5
luv2rn4fun I hope so too! I could move up to the next level in this department but as I discussed with my bosses, there isn't a clear path for moving up like there is in other areas. The best way really to move up is to change departments unfortunately. But who knows, maybe I'll find something I like more and still stay at this company!
I should be catching up on lesson planning, but instead I'm reading the income/job post on MM moms. It's both fascinating and depressing me.
I hope my post made you feel better at least. It's horribly depressing that H and I together make MAYBE half what a lot of them make just on their own. That and my meeting today with a slightly higher up boss made me realize I really need to work on moving up. There isn't much room for movement in this department so it means I might have to move around. As long as I can keep the same general schedule I'm ok with that!
I just looked at the real estate thread and I love your new house!
I will say that both of those threads are motivating me to take better care of our finances. As a teacher, I will never have a super high paying job, but if we manage our money better, we could definitely be more comfortable then we are now.
I hope my post made you feel better at least. It's horribly depressing that H and I together make MAYBE half what a lot of them make just on their own. That and my meeting today with a slightly higher up boss made me realize I really need to work on moving up. There isn't much room for movement in this department so it means I might have to move around. As long as I can keep the same general schedule I'm ok with that!
I just looked at the real estate thread and I love your new house!
I will say that both of those threads are motivating me to take better care of our finances. As a teacher, I will never have a super high paying job, but if we manage our money better, we could definitely be more comfortable then we are now.
Thank you! I totally understand how you feel. It's exactly why I posted about my budget. I just feel like we're constantly treading water and I know it doesn't need to be that way with some effort on our end!
I absolutely can't stand losing things. That makes me batty!
Hoping to hang with the hubs tonight since I've been working on this fundraiser all week.
It's "Wear your team colors" day at work (semi eye-roll worthy) and people are shocked I have a maternity shirt with my team on it. Really? Do you not know I'm somewhat obsessed, people?
Yea, I have 2 shirts--one short sleeve and one long sleeve. And I bought my Aggie clothes last year with the aim of them being belly and nursing friendly. I mean, duh!
I didn't even read the income post past the first page. Especially when there is already another nurse who posted with similar salary, so no need to add mine . It's depressing to think that the only way to make more money in my industry is to change hospitals, move into management (ugh), or get more education. We don't get raises or bonuses.
Post by estrellita on Sept 25, 2015 14:03:47 GMT -5
Ugh any tips on getting H to realize our money issues? He bought lunch twice this week now because he forgot his at home. And he doesn't just buy something cheap, he's spending almost $10 each time. It adds up, especially when we're about out of money right now and don't get paid until Wed. I just have no idea how we can do this if he can't get on board. I told him if he keeps it up we need separate accounts because I can't do this anymore. I'm probably overreacting but I'm seriously about to cry I'm so frustrated. Sigh.
Ugh any tips on getting H to realize our money issues? He bought lunch twice this week now because he forgot his at home. And he doesn't just buy something cheap, he's spending almost $10 each time. It adds up, especially when we're about out of money right now and don't get paid until Wed. I just have no idea how we can do this if he can't get on board. I told him if he keeps it up we need separate accounts because I can't do this anymore. I'm probably overreacting but I'm seriously about to cry I'm so frustrated. Sigh.
I'm your H in this situation, so I have no advice, just want to give you hugs. I think for me, it took literally running out of money. Rock bottom, if you will. But I don't want yall to get to that point.
I also found the budget MM post super interesting. I haven't read since page 3 since I've had a busy day. My husband would be furious if I posted his salary, and my whopping $30 a month is hardly exciting. Lol.
I met a new friend at the park though! We have several common interests which excites me. The downside is that she has 4 kids. Kids are great, but once you have four there isn't much free time for friends...so who knows if she'll actually pan out to do anything.
estrellita could you completely take over the finances, block him out of the credit cards, and give him labled cash envelopes each week for food and gas or whatever he needs? Maybe that could simulate running out of money while actually protecting your bit of savings.
That is kind of demeaning i will admit, but I'm so frustrated that he doesn't get it that in your shoes I'd be sorely tempted to "make" him get it.
Ugh any tips on getting H to realize our money issues? He bought lunch twice this week now because he forgot his at home. And he doesn't just buy something cheap, he's spending almost $10 each time. It adds up, especially when we're about out of money right now and don't get paid until Wed. I just have no idea how we can do this if he can't get on board. I told him if he keeps it up we need separate accounts because I can't do this anymore. I'm probably overreacting but I'm seriously about to cry I'm so frustrated. Sigh.
I'm your H in this situation, so I have no advice, just want to give you hugs. I think for me, it took literally running out of money. Rock bottom, if you will. But I don't want yall to get to that point.
We pretty much are. Basically once his student loan payment goes through we barely have enough to cover gas that I'm sure I'll need soon (we've been carpooling but I drove today so we could move as much stuff as possible tonight). I just don't even know what to do anymore. It's like he doesn't even care. I just want him to understand that we need to put that money toward our loans and not expensive lunches. I'm really trying but I feel like he's just doing the same thing as always. Something needs to change and I'm sick of being the one nagging him constantly about it!
estrellita could you completely take over the finances, block him out of the credit cards, and give him labled cash envelopes each week for food and gas or whatever he needs? Maybe that could simulate running out of money while actually protecting your bit of savings.
That is kind of demeaning i will admit, but I'm so frustrated that he doesn't get it that in your shoes I'd be sorely tempted to "make" him get it.
I do control it mostly. He doesn't use the CC ever and I took his personal one away a while ago. Maybe we will have to try the cash thing for lunches. If he forgets a lunch, he gets maybe $15-20/week and once it's gone, too bad. If he doesn't use it that week, maybe he can put the rest towards something else. Like giving him an allowance. Maybe a little demeaning but if he can't be responsible I don't know what else to do.
Actually, I agree with amaranth. DH took my CC, and I have an allowance. It comes straight out of my paycheck and into my tiny little checking account that is a different bank from our primary account. That allows me to buy my "fun" stuff that we don't budget for--Starbucks, trips to Ulta, stuff like that. He controls the majority of the finances, but I know where the login info is just in case.
ETA: btw, I do feel like this is demeaning. But I know I'm not responsible enough, so I have to be treated like a kid until I learn to control my spending.
Actually, I agree with amaranth. DH took my CC, and I have an allowance. It comes straight out of my paycheck and into my tiny little checking account that is a different bank from our primary account. That allows me to buy my "fun" stuff that we don't budget for--Starbucks, trips to Ulta, stuff like that. He controls the majority of the finances, but I know where the login info is just in case.
I'm starting to think this is a good idea. Maybe he can open his own checking account at the bank we have our savings at (and a checking account I've only been using for coffee because I get half off if I use this particular card). Then make the current checking my own fun money. Hmm. I wonder what kind of budget we could come up with for that when we already have so little.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Sept 25, 2015 15:18:55 GMT -5
estrellita- I don't think I would even give him $15-20/week, personally. You guys are in a really rough financial spot and he needs to get it and get on board. I can see $10/week in the chance that he "forgets" his lunch (really, it's not that hard to remember your lunch...and if he forgets it enough and goes hungry, he'll learn fast).
We're in a much better financial position and we do exactly what pooh8402 does. DH runs our finances (although we came up with the budget together, re-evaluate together, and make decisions together), we both have our own personal accounts for "fun" money that we can choose how we want (we both get $75/month, which is plenty for us).
I really hope he gets it soon. If you try this and it still doesn't work, then I would seek counseling and as a last resort separate all finances. ((hugs)) I'm sorry he's not acting like an adult especially when you are so stressed and you guys have E to worry about as well.
ETA: Also, if he forgets his lunch (like he did this week) he definitely doesn't (and shouldn't) have to spend $10 every time. He should be considerate of your situation and goals and try to eat cheap in these situations. He can easily eat lunch for $3-5 if needed. I'm really furious for you because he clearly doesn't get it...$20/week is a lot of eating out money when you have a perfectly good lunch at home.
We've never had fun money accounts because A: with two salaries it wasn't necessary in the past and B: my H never used to spend any money. Quite literally, none.
Well now he is obsessed with board games and has spent hundreds of dollars this year on them. I may propose fun money personal accounts for his game habbit and my clothes addiction.
Post by estrellita on Sept 25, 2015 15:23:09 GMT -5
luv2rn4fun maybe I'll pull out $20 cash each pay day (I get paid biweekly) and say that's his lunch money for the next 2 weeks. I have some other ideas about getting a white board to hang in the kitchen to write our bills on, whether or not they're paid, when they're due, and maybe even the current checking account balance. That way there's no question and neither of us will be confused or forget about a bill. Then he will know too that although we currently have whatever amount in the checking, this bill still needs to come out so it's really less.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Sept 25, 2015 15:24:14 GMT -5
amaranth- my DH hardly spends any money either and we have had personal accounts from Day 1. He typically will buy a couple clothing items here and there or spend it on me. It has worked out well (in all fairness, I spend a good chunk of mine on him as well). I'm a huge fan because it prevents fights...he can't tell me how to spend my money and I can't tell him how to spend his.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Sept 25, 2015 15:26:47 GMT -5
amaranth- I'm really happy you met a new friend today too! Hopefully she will work out for you...maybe she's a super breezy type mother of 4 that just wants to spend some time with all kiddos at the park. Kids can play (or hang out at the pool in summer) and you ladies can have some quality girl time Meeting new friends is hard so I really hope this one works since you seemed to click!
Post by estrellita on Sept 25, 2015 15:27:41 GMT -5
luv2rn4fun to your edit - so true. It bothers me to no end how much he spends on food. I can easily spend $10 if I get a meal but I've been trying to just get a sandwich if I do go out (haven't at all this week) or go to the cheaper places. H on the other hand goes to McDonald's and gets 3 sandwiches (no fries or drink that time). I know he eats more but come on!
luv2rn4fun to your edit - so true. It bothers me to no end how much he spends on food. I can easily spend $10 if I get a meal but I've been trying to just get a sandwich if I do go out (haven't at all this week) or go to the cheaper places. H on the other hand goes to McDonald's and gets 3 sandwiches (no fries or drink that time). I know he eats more but come on!
Oh, I agree it's very easy to spend that on lunch...but it's also easy to do it cheap if you are needing to save money. He could go to Subway for $5 or eat a lot cheaper at fast food...3 sandwiches on a regular basis isn't healthy or cheap
Is it an option to stock him up with some snack/quick convenience food at work so he eats that if/when he forgets instead of going out? Or he can get one sandwich and then eat the snack food? Just some thoughts...personally, I think a couple days of no food would get the message to him fast and he would stop forgetting to bring his lunch Right now it's clearly way too convenient for him and he has no consequences (all of this reminds me of Parenting with Love and Logic, except you are dealing with a full grown adult).
Post by estrellita on Sept 25, 2015 15:41:29 GMT -5
luv2rn4fun that's what I've been doing, bringing snacks to work to eat instead of going to the vending machine or something. He has in the past brought a few lunches and left them at work but he goes through them so fast. We bought stuff for sandwiches so maybe I'll have to pack him a sandwich too. I hate having to do things for him though. I have a child, I don't want to also need to be responsible for H! I'm not used to being the responsible one so it sucks. But we're never going to get anywhere if I don't step up. This morning H kept asking where things were and I knew exactly where they all were (except for what I was looking for, lol) and I was like yup, I'm officially a mom. Everyone in my house needs me to find things, haha.