IL vents, anyone?

[ladygrey]

My FIL has shingles and was going to come to the hospital like it was NBD to be around a newborn. Umm, fuck no. Thank goodness DH talked to his parents before they showed up.

[residentdj]

Oct 1, 2015 10:31:00 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

Oct 1, 2015 10:05:58 GMT -5 ladygrey said:

My FIL has shingles and was going to come to the hospital like it was NBD to be around a newborn. Umm, fuck no. Thank goodness DH talked to his parents before they showed up.

Whoa. I thought it was bad that my ILs said they didn't need to wash their hands before holding my baby in the hospital. Like, really? Who refuses to wash hands when a new mom requests?!

Shingles. Fucking shingles. Holy mother...

Oh yea, my own parents get offended when we ask them to wash their hands around my kid, but sorry, my dad is a smoker, they have 2 dogs that lick anything and everything, so no, you are not touching my kid until you wash your hands. No fucks given here - whether it's my own family or IL's (or anyone else)

The best way I can describe my IL situation is that it is like one long episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Luckily they do not live directly across the street from us, but I'm sure if my MIL had her way, they would be. I'll just leave it at that

[residentdj]

I should also add that my parents have zero saved for retirement, yet my dad somehow thinks he is retiring at 62 or whenever the retirement age is. Good luck with that one

[sparkythelawyer]

Oct 1, 2015 9:39:15 GMT -5 niq said:

I am making an FB posting group called "everyone except MIL" because she comments on Every. Single. Post.

They pick V up early on a Monday and we try to have them over for dinner afterwards. But 4 of the last 5 weeks they have made plans and I get the feeling they are trying to duck it. Ugh.

They will do things like drive half an hour from daycare to their house, hang out with him for an hour and a half, then drive an hour back to our house in rush hour traffic. Does not compute.

I am sure msniq has a long list, starting with "solo cups all over the house and who reuses those things" and ends with "having her sit silently while I parent and get the sensation judgment is being passed". But mom keeps telling us she thinks we're doing a great job.

Oh you can do this, its easy! Right before you hit "Post", look left up top where it says "TO".  Probably says Public.  Click on the word public.  Click "More" on the next screen then select "Friends except" and you can enter who you don't want to see something.

I have done this with my MIL and my Dad's new fiance for the exact same reason you are describing. 

[lillaguma]

My MIL wants to Skype with us every weekend, which isn't a huge deal except it's the exact same routine every time. They call my husband and ask if we want to Skype. Then it takes them about half an hour to get their computer on and going. Then we have the exact same conversation - how do we like our new place (we moved 2 months ago) how is my husband liking his job (he started in June) has baby's tooth come through yet (yes) does she have any more hair, etc etc. And then the last few weeks they keep ignoring the time difference and calling us at 10 or 10:30 our time to Skype. And then acting all surprised and disappointed when the baby is already in bed. It's driving me insane.

[namasteak]

MIL visits tomorrow so im sure I'll have something then.

Last time she visited (when DS1 was 18months) she asked if his pedi was concerned he wasn't speaking much because DH had 200 words and full sentences by 2 (YA right).

[residentdj]

Oct 1, 2015 12:18:38 GMT -5 namasteak said:

MIL visits tomorrow so im sure I'll have something then.

Last time she visited (when DS1 was 18months) she asked if his pedi was concerned he wasn't speaking much because DH had 200 words and full sentences by 2 (YA right).

Slightly off topic as far as IL's, but I met this woman at my local library last week during the children's rhyme time thing and she kept going on and on (and on) about how her older kid was speaking full sentences at 11 months. I had to fight soooo hard to not roll my eyes and call bullshit at her, especially given the fact that she wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. 

[drloretta]

Oct 1, 2015 11:15:31 GMT -5 residentdj said:

Oh yea, my own parents get offended when we ask them to wash their hands around my kid, but sorry, my dad is a smoker, they have 2 dogs that lick anything and everything, so no, you are not touching my kid until you wash your hands. No fucks given here - whether it's my own family or IL's (or anyone else)

DD's first 3 colds were from MIL. Our shower was when DD was 7 weeks, and my mom was militant about everyone hand washing. MIL made a comment that she should probably wash her hands, but germs were good for immunity. Then she visited, claiming allergies. I started demanding hand washing at the door after that

[niq]

Oct 1, 2015 12:02:24 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Oct 1, 2015 9:39:15 GMT -5 niq said:

I am making an FB posting group called "everyone except MIL" because she comments on Every. Single. Post.

They pick V up early on a Monday and we try to have them over for dinner afterwards. But 4 of the last 5 weeks they have made plans and I get the feeling they are trying to duck it. Ugh.

They will do things like drive half an hour from daycare to their house, hang out with him for an hour and a half, then drive an hour back to our house in rush hour traffic. Does not compute.

I am sure msniq has a long list, starting with "solo cups all over the house and who reuses those things" and ends with "having her sit silently while I parent and get the sensation judgment is being passed". But mom keeps telling us she thinks we're doing a great job.

Oh you can do this, its easy! Right before you hit "Post", look left up top where it says "TO".  Probably says Public.  Click on the word public.  Click "More" on the next screen then select "Friends except" and you can enter who you don't want to see something.

I have done this with my MIL and my Dad's new fiance for the exact same reason you are describing. 

ha!

This actually works better on mobile than the web, the "friend except ..." shortcut isn't there. But I'll be using this for smartphone uploads from now on! (as long as I remember not to tag msniq as well)

[residentdj]

Oct 1, 2015 13:22:18 GMT -5 drloretta said:

Oct 1, 2015 11:15:31 GMT -5 residentdj said:

Oh yea, my own parents get offended when we ask them to wash their hands around my kid, but sorry, my dad is a smoker, they have 2 dogs that lick anything and everything, so no, you are not touching my kid until you wash your hands. No fucks given here - whether it's my own family or IL's (or anyone else)

DD's first 3 colds were from MIL. Our shower was when DD was 7 weeks, and my mom was militant about everyone hand washing. MIL made a comment that she should probably wash her hands, but germs were good for immunity. Then she visited, claiming allergies. I started demanding hand washing at the door after that

OMG, I would lose my shit. My IL's are actually really good about that stuff, which is great because they watch my DD while we are at work. My parents though - it's like the fact that my daughter was born early and we have to be very careful around her doesn't even phase them. I don't think they realize how serious it would be if she were to get sick with RSV, even though I've explained this to them many times. My mom rolls her eyes when I tell her to wash her hands. I'm actually thankful they don't live closer. My IL's drive me crazy, but at least they listen when we explain this stuff to them and take it seriously.

[Alyssa]

My MIL watches my kids a couple times a week, so she has a garage door opener.  That's fine but what annoys the shit out of me is she will come over unannounced and not knock on the front door.  She will walk in through the garage. 

I don't get why she thinks it's okay just to walk into someone's house without knocking or calling....just walks herself right in whether we're there or not.  I've been getting dressed and heard the door opening and it scares me.  I have to call out, "Who is there?!" because I don't know why there's the sound of someone walking around in the kitchen.

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2015 8:43:22 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

@this That really sucks.
My parents are the ones I'm more worried about from the $$ side. I'm mostly worried about all of their health.

Me too. I feel bad for DH actually bc all my parents $ was in real estate and now they have nothing because of bad business decisions. This was not a factor at all when we were dating/just got married.

For my vent my MIL is basically Marie Barone. Sigh.

[lolo]

Oct 1, 2015 12:18:38 GMT -5 namasteak said:

MIL visits tomorrow so im sure I'll have something then.

Last time she visited (when DS1 was 18months) she asked if his pedi was concerned he wasn't speaking much because DH had 200 words and full sentences by 2 (YA right).

That was an assy comment by your MIL. But some two year olds do have the capability to do what she described.

[jorja]

My in laws didn't tell any of their immediate family about my pregnancy or the baby because we weren't married yet, and they were embarrassed by it.

Some of my husband's uncles met DD at our wedding welcome dinner when my MIL took her away from my aunts who had not yet met her in order to show her off. I guess she's acceptable now that we're married.

[pinkpeony08]

Ugh, my in laws have been visiting every 2 weeks- for at least 1 night, staying with us in our 2 bedroom home- all summer. They live about 3 hours away during the summer. FIL does nothing to help around the house, takes a 2+ hour nap every day while here. They really don't eat the food I cook, so we end up getting take out the whole time because it's extra stress on me to cook and then have them not eat. But they will eat what my husband cooks, even when it is exactly the same thing with the same recipe. My FIL gets super annoyed anytime we ask him not to do something inappropriate (like don't throw crackers at the table). Oh and they don't talk to me either. On the plus side, they are coming next week for three days and then driving down to Florida for the winter. They are, however, coming back for Thanksgiving and the whole week after Christmas.

[lillaguma]

Oct 1, 2015 13:05:00 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

Oct 1, 2015 12:14:22 GMT -5 lillaguma said:

My MIL wants to Skype with us every weekend, which isn't a huge deal except it's the exact same routine every time. They call my husband and ask if we want to Skype. Then it takes them about half an hour to get their computer on and going. Then we have the exact same conversation - how do we like our new place (we moved 2 months ago) how is my husband liking his job (he started in June) has baby's tooth come through yet (yes) does she have any more hair, etc etc. And then the last few weeks they keep ignoring the time difference and calling us at 10 or 10:30 our time to Skype. And then acting all surprised and disappointed when the baby is already in bed. It's driving me insane.

H and I have a deal that skyping is something done by the related parent. So when the ILs call, I pop my head in to say hi and then "oh sorry I'm in the middle of cooking" or some other excuse. They really only want to talk to Bas and my H anyhow.

This sounds like a really great rule. I will see if I can tactfully bring it up...

[drloretta]

Oct 1, 2015 13:05:00 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

H and I have a deal that skyping is something done by the related parent. So when the ILs call, I pop my head in to say hi and then "oh sorry I'm in the middle of cooking" or some other excuse. They really only want to talk to Bas and my H anyhow.

These are how phone calls are handled at our house. Works like a charm

[humpforfree]

Can I vent about my H's ILs? Lol. He isn't as bothered by them as I am, so I will make a complaint.
My mom came down today to visit the baby. She brought girl clothes for her... and a newborn sized shark Halloween costume. It's wicked cute, but don't you think that i would have wanted to do the costume for my new baby? Or that I had thought of it already? I did. She is going to be a football in the moby while L is a football player. So now I'm going to dress E up in the shark for a picture and the as a football for the rest of the night. And costume/money wasted. Ugh.
Also, my sister is so much life girly than I am and sent a box today full of girly clothes. But all SO much not my style a glittery pink/purple with obnoxious sayings. Like, these clothes were one of the main reasons I was nervous about having a girl. Also, the clothes are all spring/summer styles but sized for now. I guess that works in my favor since she just can't wear them. More money wasted.
I sound bratty I think. I'm just annoyed about the wasted money and, in my sister's case, her buying junk that she knows 100% is not what I would get/want for the baby.

[jewel]

I cannot stand my SIL and her husband. There are too many stories, and it's getting me worked up to think about it. A lot of it is ultimately unimportant, but it still irks me. She is newly pg, so right now it's all kinds of inaccurate or really weird stuff pregnancy, babies, etc. She is the "But someone is WRONG on the internet" meme to me. It's also my infertility talking. I am trying so hard to just be happy for her, but I'm struggling.

Her husband thinks it's so hilarious to constantly tell my kid to hit me or pull my hair, like he's just a little entertainment for the evening. And then tells me to lighten up when I nicely tell him to go piss up a rope. I am trying to raise a decent human being here.

[Willis Jackson]

Oct 1, 2015 23:52:17 GMT -5 humpforfree said:

Can I vent about my H's ILs? Lol. He isn't as bothered by them as I am, so I will make a complaint.
My mom came down today to visit the baby. She brought girl clothes for her... and a newborn sized shark Halloween costume. It's wicked cute, but don't you think that i would have wanted to do the costume for my new baby? Or that I had thought of it already? I did. She is going to be a football in the moby while L is a football player. So now I'm going to dress E up in the shark for a picture and the as a football for the rest of the night. And costume/money wasted. Ugh.
Also, my sister is so much life girly than I am and sent a box today full of girly clothes. But all SO much not my style a glittery pink/purple with obnoxious sayings. Like, these clothes were one of the main reasons I was nervous about having a girl. Also, the clothes are all spring/summer styles but sized for now. I guess that works in my favor since she just can't wear them. More money wasted.
I sound bratty I think. I'm just annoyed about the wasted money and, in my sister's case, her buying junk that she knows is 100% not what I would get/want for the baby.

Don't worry about the money! It's a gift- the only obligation you have is to receive it and thank them.

My MIL's love language is gifts and I used to be annoyed by it ("Why does she keep giving us stuff? This is suffocating!") but then I realized that it's not about the stuff- it's just her way of telling us she loves us. Now it's like, "Okay. Message received. Off to Goodwill."

[humpforfree]

Oct 2, 2015 5:13:14 GMT -5 @starry said:

humpforfree I emailed my mom two days ago asking if she would get a costume for DD2

Lol that's fine since you asked her!! It just seemed... presumptuous for her and my sister to just get one and expect E to wear it & that I wouldn't have any other plans.