If you live near your ILs

[emsumm]

My h's parents usually host things, then some holidays go to specific others (like Tgiving we go to my parents, but h's aunt also hosts. Mother's Day is his uncle's (I abstain). Truth be told, we give most big holidays to my family because we live near all of his.

[pagas]

I host Thanksgiving and Easter. My parents have us over for X-mas. My SIL hosts Halloween. My MIL doesn't host anything.

[mlt]

There are five possible houses that could host in law gatherings, including us, within an hour drive of each other. Only two ever host. That is not due to lack of others offering, it is because my MIL and MH's aunt are total control freak martyrs who insist on doing it all themselves. It used to bother me but I've mostly let it go. Less work for me. Though it does get old eating the same bland, repetitive food at every single gathering. I am the only one in that family who tries to bring new recipes and they all think I'm a freak.

ETA oh I forgot the most important piece - MIL and MH's aunt are big house snobs and honestly each of them thinks she has the "best" house for hosting. They both feel very superior. The other three houses are smaller but not so small we couldn't host. It's annoying.

[Deleted]

Same people always host. It's either at my house or mil/fil's house. The big holidays are usually at my place, like Christmas/thanksgiving/easter. Same with birthdays. Mil/fil host new years, Sunday dinners, and mothers day/father's day.

Bil and sil live like 2 blocks away and never host anything.

[Redpoppy]

FIL and his brother and sister rotate Christmas afternoon gtg. This is the first year we are going Christmas Eve instead at his fil's sister's request because it is her turn to host and it works better with her kids. We may take over fil's hosting rotation next year as we bought his house and it is more centrally located than his new one.

FIL used to host thanksgiving. He said hosting goes with the house so now we will host. Lol. I'm ditching the squash soufflé, increasing apps, and already warned him dinner time is an estimate. We ate at 2 like clockwork when he hosted.

[slcjess]

Mil always hosts. I've hosted one birthday party for mh which she took over, lol.
In my family, we usually rotate between me, sister, sil

[balletofangels]

We go to my parents' for most eveeything. DH'S family is so indecisive that we never get invites until the last minute. We used to do Thanksgiving all of us, but DH'S Nana doesn't lime a crowd anymore. Sometimes SIL still comes to my parents".

[redheadk]

It rotates through the same people, us included (on both sides). Some people never host. My MIL and FIL have a smaller house that isn't conducive to hosting but we have a large, kid-friendly house so they will sometimes order and pick up all the food and bring it for a family GTG. For holidays, typically DH's aunt hosts for his side of the family simply because we attend multiple events each day while they only have the one so they are a better option than us. DH's sister lives in a TINY house in the city so we hardly ever go there.

[KKD]

My MIL and FIL host most family events, especially holidays and any others that involve extended family. I think we split everything else equally with H's sister. His brother has never hosted, but he only just got married and bought a house a year ago and lives farther away than the rest of us. 

It's the same in my family: my parents usually host, and my sister and I host smaller events occasionally. My brother and other sister both live two hours away so they rarely host, except for their own parties like my nieces' birthdays. 

[olive]

I always do Thanksgiving and Easter. I do Christmas morning and my MIL does Christmas dinner. My parents come in from out of town and join in whether it's at my house or at my in law's.

[looseseal]

MIL pretty much hosts everything. I would prefer a rotation, as would most everyone else, but she insists.

I did, however, put my foot down about actual Christmas Day. We're the only ones with kids, and I don't want to spend Christmas Day traipsing about town to visit three different homes. So I put on a dinner and anyone who wants to is welcome to come spend the day with us. However, MIL is pretty specific that it is not THE Christmas dinner. That is hers to host, and she does so sometime after the actual day.

[isabel]

H's family all lived near one another while he was growing up. Thanksgiving was always at his grandma's and Christmas rotated between MIL and H's two aunts. That rotation has continued, but MIL now lives near us, so she's out of the rotation. I think DH liked it growing up; I know I do now. It works well.

[hopecounts]

Typically my MIL or GMIL host occasionally either Aunt or Aunt in Law will host.
Aunt hosts more often in summer because they have a pool.
Aunt in Law pinch hits when MIL has hosted recently and GMIL isn't able to for whatever reason.

[lemons]

Before I was cut from their family, MIL hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas. SIL hosted other holidays and family get togethers. No one ever showed up when we hosted so we quit trying.

[moolarkey]

We would host anything but one SIL won't come if we do.. it's too far for them to come for an afternoon (2 hours) but it's ok for us to drive there. 2 hours drive is nothing to us, we do it every weekend from early April to late October to our boat. Still it would be nice to have stuff at our house, we finally just quit going to her house.

[Deleted]

Rotate. Well, actually just my ILs and I rotate.

[shell24]

My H is one of 4. We all live within 15-20 minutes of each other, as well as my MIL/FIL.

We all take turns since most of the gatherings are for kid's birthdays (there are 8, soon to be 9 grandkids). Then we also invite/are invited for things like Labor Day, 4th of July or Memorial Day BBQ's and other things we do with friends.
It's pretty equal overall.

[agnes]

Usually at our house. H doesn't speak to most of his's dad's side of the family.

[eb777888]

We used to switch around a lot but after David was born, I really wanted to have Christmas morning at home, and now Thanksgiving as well. I don't want to travel an hour each way and honestly, I'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to the holidays and I want things a certain way. I always welcome the ILs to my home so I'm not shutting anyone out but I'm kind of a control freak when it comes to Christmas and Thanksgiving. AND they are total assholes, sooo.....

[ZoeHart]

Holidays are always at my FILs, they flat out refuse to do it anywhere else. Actually, now that I think about it, everything that they attend is at FILs.
MIL is more flexible, we take turns having each other over.

[housewife]

MIL/FIL normally host for Thanksgiving and Christmas. SIL will host for football games or more relaxed settings. We don't host because out house is like 1/3 the size of theirs. I'm good with it as I don't enjoy hosting nor do I want 12 kids in my house.

[awick14]

We go to MIL/FIL for Easter and thanksgiving. Christmas Eve is rotated between aunts/uncles, cousins and immediate ILs.

The rest of the year is filled with random people hosting birthdays, fun get togethers etc.

We will not host anymore, I find all the work of hosting not worth it doe that crowd.

[aprilsails]

Both my Mom's and Dad's side host on a rotation for Christmas dinners. So each year it cycles through the siblings. These are 20-30 person meals depending on how many cousins show up. Mom's family on Christmas Day, Dad's on Boxing Day. Other holidays are done just within the family unit but my Mom or Dad always hosts. It would be weird doing it at my house since their houses are much better set up for guests and it's also better for step-siblings, etc.

MIL hosts Christmas while her Sister hosts Easter each year. Yet again, we don't host the major dinners.

We do have our parents over for the odd Sunday night dinner throughout the year.

[Eagles]

Next door. ILs host nothing. Cousin hosts Thanksgiving and we go to my mom's for Christmas. I try to do Christmas brunch every year.

[livinitup]

DH's family has a big summer place near our home. This is were we all meet-up most weekends in the summer and my MIL/FIL live there in July and Aug. I learned pretty quick that none of them cook or plan meals very well. So, I learned how to cook for a crowd and bring the food most weekends. It's slightly odd, but it makes sense in our family.

[liverandonions]

Because my in laws care for elderly grandparents they usually host most holidays and my single mom is invited. My husbands. Birthday is Christmas Eve so we always go there for that and now I host Christmas dinner because we have kids. I told them before kids that I would do this because I don't want to have Christmas morning at someone else's house only two hours away..

[sandyapples]

MIL always does Christmas. SIL is taking over Thanksgiving. I do Easter. H has one single uncle who never hosts anything and one single aunt who used to host Easter but we don't fit in her apartment anymore. He has one married aunt with kids and grandkids. We do a get together with them early in December. Aunt and MIL rotate.

Informally we hang out with SIL and family all the time at both of our homes.

[ssmjlm]

We started hosting everything. We do thanksgiving and Christmas. And E's birthday.

Usually there's even drama surrounding that even though all DH's family has to do is show up.

DH and I are actually thankful we're in an apt while we build our next. We don't have to host anything and can just go to my parents beach house.

[fivechickens]

We live near my family and about 2 hrs from my IL.

We were just there for my Gparents inlaws anniversary party. For casual get togethers the inlaws come to us which was easier when the girls were younger but now that they are older we are making an effort to go there more.

As far as holidays: My aunt always host Thanksgiving and then we go to the inlaws for a day or two. For Xmas we go to inlaws for a day of two depending on DH time off then we come home on Xmas Eve and I have Xmas at my house. We don't do a lot for Easter if we are at the inlaws they will make a big dinner. My family usually goes out to dinner for Easter.

Other then that, we don't get together for birthdays or just no reason dinners that often. I do see my aunt all the time because she watches my girls a lot.

[ECB]

All hosting is between us and my parents. ILS haven't hosted anything in YEARS.