We have a talk each time how I just need him to check in a couple times a day. He doesn't need to call. Just a quick text. I last heard from him at 7 am today. He is just at a conference so not super busy. I texted him cute stories about the boys and radio silence.
Thankfully over 13 years I have learned to not even get pissed.
Or maybe this is the time he is actually dead in a ditch. Or doing hookers and blow. (huh)
My H is exactly the same way. After eight years, I sometimes think I've finally gotten him to understand it freaks me out and then my mind is immediately hookers and blow/ditch when he inevitably drops off the face of the earth because HE KNOWS HOW MUCH IT FREAKS ME OUT. Every time, he's like, derp, I just didn't think about calling.
Lol I am your H. I just....don't have much to say. I'd rather save it all up and have a lovely conversation at the end of the day. And I'm usually talked out from meeting people at the conference
My H texts several (way too often, IMO) times on ONE day of his 3 or 4 day trips. The remainder of which I rarely hear from him, even in response. "But I texted you tons on Wednesday!!!" Idiot (text-speaking-only, of course;) )
I'm your H. I feel a lot of love and connection to DH - in my mind, when I'm away. And I truly make an effort to make contact. BECAUSE I WANT TO.
It's just not a thing that easily comes to me. Even though it's simple. I know it's simple. I just don't automatically do it. I can even go to bed without saying goodnight. AH!
Thank goodness DH doesn't mind. I love him so much.
We have a talk each time how I just need him to check in a couple times a day. He doesn't need to call. Just a quick text. I last heard from him at 7 am today. He is just at a conference so not super busy. I texted him cute stories about the boys and radio silence.
Thankfully over 13 years I have learned to not even get pissed.
Or maybe this is the time he is actually dead in a ditch. Or doing hookers and blow. (huh)
This would drive me crazy - if someone expected me to check in multiple times a day, especially when I'm at something like this. It would also drive me crazy if H checked in multiple times a day.
I'm in a long distance relationship and this is how my boyfriend is too. I've gotten used to it and don't really mind as I'm busy too. But sometimes I do give him a hard time because I'm the one to text him random stories throughout the day and he thinks I'm a weirdo lol.
He's a musician and is on tour a lot so he has gotten in to the habit of forwarding me the itinerary from his manager. So I kind of know what's going on in his day to day. I usually hear from him at least once a day, so that's nice and we talk on the phone at least every other day when he's not in town.
I do admit I hadn't heard from him since early this morning and I did some google stalking to find out where he was/what event he was doing this evening :?
WHEN I AM AT THE STORE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF PEANUTS AND THE TEXT AND THE PHONE CALL GO UNANSWERED. TURN ON YOUR PHONE I KNOW YOUR'RE HOME I JUST WAS THERE 5 MINUTES AGO.
Oh and your ass better not get pissed when I come home with the "wrong" kind.
Post by sawyerthedestroyer on Oct 5, 2015 20:41:15 GMT -5
My H is like this. He knows what time DS goes to bed. He promised him that he'd call before bed. I shouldn't have to keep DS up past his bedtime because he couldn't take a few minutes to keep his promise.
I'm glad I'm not alone. J is awful. We've lived together for nearly 2 years and I'll text him from grocery store etc to ask him something and he's a moron and doesn't answer. Or will answer one text and then fall off the face of the earth. You're home! Wtf!? In the past I was used to texting my SO throughout the day, so this took some getting used to. J can't really answer during the day and that's fine...but look at your goddam phone!!! If he's not home and doesn't answer, I too, definitely imagine he's in a ditch or hookers/blow. Grrrrrr.
My H is the opposite. When he's out of town I get a play by play of everything. I guess that's better then having 12 hours of nothing, but there has to be a happy medium right?? How can I enjoy alone time if he won't leave me alone??
Is there a reason you need him checking in several times per day?
This is one is those "your expectations form your experiences" things IMO. I'm very low key about communication because my husband is aircraft carrier based. So no texting, phone calls are satellite and expensive, and email is sporadic. I ask that he check in when possible which usually means an email 2 out of every three days. But I've gone weeks with nothing.
I know that is an extreme, but my lack of expectation means that I don't get upset about things and any communication is appreciated. I email him as many mundane details about our day that I can, but I don't worry if I miss a day. We are both very breezy about it.
Even when he's away on dry land we don't really need a whole lot of texts/call.
I can totally empathize with not calling or texting because I just have nothing to say. I figure if I don't hear anything that all is well. Not the opposite.
My H is the opposite. When he's out of town I get a play by play of everything. I guess that's better then having 12 hours of nothing, but there has to be a happy medium right?? How can I enjoy alone time if he won't leave me alone??
Do people really get upset about 12 hours of no texts/calls? That is so foreign to me.
I would really prefer to talk to my H once a day when I travel. I'm busy and tired and I've never loved discussing my day. Texts annoy me most of the time.
I think growing up and not having a cell phone until my 30s definitely means I don't feel a need to constantly be in touch. I'm lucky if I remember my phone some days and don't have the ringer on most of the time. When my H travels or I do we're lucky if we talk or communicate in any way 1x a day. He's not any more likely to die away than he is when working in London, and he'd kill me if I wanted him to text him all day long (and he wouldn't do it or be able to do it).
My H is the opposite. When he's out of town I get a play by play of everything. I guess that's better then having 12 hours of nothing, but there has to be a happy medium right?? How can I enjoy alone time if he won't leave me alone??
Do people really get upset about 12 hours of no texts/calls? That is so foreign to me.
Yeah, I am a huge talker, but don't expect DH to talk to me until he is back at his hotel room for the night if he is on a work trip. I mean he is working after all. We don't really talk during the day even when he is not OOT absent some issue coming up. All cute stories get saved for the end of the day
I don't really mind when H is away and doesn't contact me too much. Usually, he'll just text me once when he lands at the airport and once a day while he's gone. Sometimes he tries to FaceTime with Rocco but it's a,ways at some awkward time or like, from the hotel lobby (wtf) he's so weird like that. We're not really phone people.
My H is the opposite. When he's out of town I get a play by play of everything. I guess that's better then having 12 hours of nothing, but there has to be a happy medium right?? How can I enjoy alone time if he won't leave me alone??
Do people really get upset about 12 hours of no texts/calls? That is so foreign to me.
usually when my DH is away it means he's taking a motorcycle trip, so 12 hours of nothing when he's on his motorcycle freaks me out. But it's more annoying when he's constantly telling me everything he's doing lol.
OH hey, I was waiting for the breezy crowd to show up! Welcome! It is cool if you don't talk to your husband for 7 days. But each trip I tell him I just want him to check in. I don't need hourly updates. 1. because we have kids and at the very least they want to know what he is doing. Even if he can't talk. It is pretty shitty to have to tell them "Oh sorry haven't heard from dad all day. Nightly night." 2. hookers, blow, ditches. It isn't rational, but I worry about him when he is away. Not that he is doing something wrong, just that something IS wrong. He very much knows this about me.
But all is well. He called right as I was putting kids to bed so at least Jack was able to talk to him. I am not some crazy person who needs hourly updates. But yes I expect at least a one word text at least some point in the day. Especially if I send him a text. And FYI it was 2 texts over a 12 hour period so it isn't like I was blowing up his phone. He is sitting in a conference center.