Is this tacky- update

[AHappierHour]

We got this really nice wood platter that was personalized as a gift. The gift didn't have a card with it so I don't know who to thank. Would it be tacky to take a picture of it and ask on FB? I don't know how else I could find out without calling everyone who didn't bring a gift. And I think that's rude and awkward.

Update- my MOH found a card in her card and it was from my friend and she got us the cutting board

[ginap]

Can you have your parents and friends put out feelers instead of you asking directly?

[ECB]

Can you contact the company and ask if a card was forgotten and/or who submitted the order?

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 13:35:44 GMT -5 ginap said:

Can you have your parents and friends put out feelers instead of you asking directly?

MIL wants me to make a list of everyone who didn't bring a gift and she would call them but I think that's weird. I feel like she is keeping score. I appreciate the gifts but if someone didn't get us one it doesn't bother me. But I do want to thank everyone who did.

Maybe I will ask my BM's who know the family friends to do it.

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 13:35:54 GMT -5 ECB said:

Can you contact the company and ask if a card was forgotten and/or who submitted the order?

Nothing from the company. It was just wrapped with a bow.

[cabbagecabbage]

I wouldn't. I'd round it down to a few suspects and have a third party ask. If someone posted my wedding gift on fb I'd be cringing over whether to respond or not.

It's not the worst thing but it I'd avoid it.

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 13:37:38 GMT -5 Que? said:

Process of elimination- there has to be a card for this gift.

Unless it fell off somehow. All our cards had something in them or was attached.

I wondering if it could be in the car that they put the gifts in.

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 13:41:24 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Can't you just put it aside and figure out the sender after you finish all the other TYK?

I already wrote them. A lot of people didn't bring gifts :/

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 13:44:01 GMT -5 Que? said:

Oct 6, 2015 13:42:43 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

I already wrote them. A lot of people didn't bring gifts :/

But you just said all the cards had something attached, so did the non gifters also not bring cards?

Correct.

[marylennox]

Honestly I'd probably just let that one go without a thank you note if my other options were putting it on fb or contacting non gifters.

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 13:50:18 GMT -5 Que? said:

Oct 6, 2015 13:46:32 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

Correct.

Is there someone in the group of non gifters who would do something thoughtful, like someone you were surprised didn't give you a gift?
I'm overinvested. I feel bad for whoever took the time to do that. The card is somewhere damnit.

I feel bad too, it's a very nice gift. That's why I thought I would ask on FB instead of calling people and asking. I don't want anyone to feel bad if they didn't get us a gift.

I asked my MOH already to check her car. Hopefully the card turns up.

[Deleted]

Did you register for it? Can you call the store and ask who purchased it off your list?

[dexteroni]

Don't put it on FB. And don't call or let anyone call the people who didn't give gifts. omg. That puts them in the awkward position to have to say "No, I didn't give a gift." I would ask the people closest to you (who you know gave gifts) if they know who gave it. If no one does, eventually someone who receives a note thanking them for attending but not for their gift will ask you, or ask someone close to you, if you received their gift.

And don't give your MIL that list. It's none of her business, and I wouldn't trust her not to call anyway.

[cabbagecabbage]

Oct 6, 2015 13:54:06 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Did you register for it? Can you call the store and ask who purchased it off your list?

Good point. You should be able to track it back to the purchaser with a little detective work, whether if it's from a local artisan or a big store.

[dexteroni]

Oct 6, 2015 13:54:04 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

That's why I thought I would ask on FB instead of calling people and asking. I don't want anyone to feel bad if they didn't get us a gift.

But this is not a matter for a public announcement, to all your guests, and to people who weren't even invited. Wedding and gift etiquette both dictate more discretion than that.

You might also be able to narrow it down more if gifts arrive via mail in the next couple weeks. I would give this some time. Didn't you just get married like four days ago? No one is expecting their TY note this fast.

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 14:00:41 GMT -5 cabbagecabbage said:

Oct 6, 2015 13:54:06 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Did you register for it? Can you call the store and ask who purchased it off your list?

Good point. You should be able to track it back to the purchaser with a little detective work, whether if it's from a local artisan or a big store.

No we didn't register for it. But I just had an idea who it could be from. One of FI's friends dad is really into woodwork and has a huge shop I bet it's from him. There was no company logo on the back. I'm going to call him.

[AHappierHour]

Oct 6, 2015 14:00:41 GMT -5 cabbagecabbage said:

Oct 6, 2015 13:54:06 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Did you register for it? Can you call the store and ask who purchased it off your list?

Good point. You should be able to track it back to the purchaser with a little detective work, whether if it's from a local artisan or a big store.

No we didn't register for it. But I just had an idea who it could be from. One of FI's friends dad is really into woodwork and has a huge shop I bet it's from him. There was no company logo on the back. I'm going to call him.

[AHappierHour]

dexteroni yes we did but I'm the type if I don't do it right away it doesn't get done for awhile. I also just wanted to leave for our honeymoon and be done with the wedding stuff.

[dexteroni]

Oct 6, 2015 14:12:07 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

dexteroni yes we did but I'm the type if I don't do it right away it doesn't get done for awhile. I also just wanted to leave for our honeymoon and be done with the wedding stuff.

That's fine, I'm just saying you have time for this to shake out and possibly resolve itself. You don't need to put out a public blast right away. Enjoy your honeymoon and don't worry about this for now.