Post by tacosforlife on Oct 6, 2015 15:07:50 GMT -5
IANAP and I never thought about this, but after seeing my chucklefuck relatives at Christmas, I don't think it's an insane question. My stepbrother left his handgun just sitting on the dining room table while his one-year-old son ran around the room. I would NEVER leave my child unsupervised at his house. I don't trust that the gun would be properly locked up.
If I'm letting my kid go to someone's home I know them well enough to know if they have guns or not. Maybe this will change when he's older, in which case I would ask. I don't mind if people ask us, although my SO is LEO so I'm sure they know that there are guns in the home.
If I'm letting my kid go to someone's home I know them well enough to know if they have guns or not. Maybe this will change when he's older, in which case I would ask. I don't mind if people ask us, although my SO is LEO so I'm sure they know that there are guns in the home.
But how would you *know* if you didn't ask? We have close family friends we do drop-off playdates with, and while I would be very surprised to hear they have a gun - I don't KNOW for certain they don't.
If I'm letting my kid go to someone's home I know them well enough to know if they have guns or not. Maybe this will change when he's older, in which case I would ask. I don't mind if people ask us, although my SO is LEO so I'm sure they know that there are guns in the home.
I don't think this is realistic, especially with other kids from school/sports teams/activites that your child may be attending birthday parties for etc.
I added the caveat that it could change as he gets older; at this point it really just hasn't come up.
Ok for those who will ask, what will you say? How do you start the conversation without someone getting offended?
"I know this seems like a strange thing to ask, but because KHC is just not familiar with them, I have to ask if you have guns in your home."
Usually they say yes or no, if yes they usually tell me how they're stored -- "Yes; they're in a fingerprint safe" or similar. And then I reiterate that KHC is not well-versed in gun safety and is extremely unfamiliar with them, because we don't own any, and I just wanted to make sure any guns were totally inaccessible.
Nobody has taken offense so far; at least, not that I can tell. Everyone I've asked has asked KHC over again, so they can't have been TOO offended, I guess.
And anyone who is offended by this question is not someone at whose home I want KHC hanging out.
This. I don't see why anyone would be offended by this question.
If I'm letting my kid go to someone's home I know them well enough to know if they have guns or not. Maybe this will change when he's older, in which case I would ask. I don't mind if people ask us, although my SO is LEO so I'm sure they know that there are guns in the home.
I would bet that 98% of my kid's friend's parents would be shocked that we have a gun in our house.
I don't think it's widely known with that group that my H hunts.
However, it's locked up ,has a trigger lock and is hidden, the kids don't know we have it and the ammo ( if he has any left from the previous year) is kept in a completely different area of the house.
I have never asked. I have one friend whose husband has an extensive gun collection. However, our kids don't really get along, so we get together without kids. I try to arrange it so stuff with kids is at our house.
My kids are still young and we are typically at the same friends homes often. I know for a fact they have no guns as we have discussed this in depth among us. As my daughter is now in kindergarten and beginning to meet new friends i will blantly ask before dropping her off. I offend people pretty regularly with my bluntness so i have no shame in asking,lol. NONE.
Ok for those who will ask, what will you say? How do you start the conversation without someone getting offended?
We own many guns, my husband shoots targets and reloads ammo in the garage as a side hobby. The guns are never left out and they are always checked and re-checked that the chambers are empty before being put away.
I would never be offended if someone were to ask me if we have guns in the home and how they are stored. In fact I would gladly show them the huge safe we have that keeps all the guns locked away. My husband has a lot of respect for the guns he owns and he's super careful about handling them now that we have kids in the home. When he comes home from shooting, he doesn't even want the kids touching him until he changes out of his clothes just in case he has any lead on him....that's how careful he is. So I would be more than happy to show you what we have going on if you were curious.
If you are met with any sort of hesitation or someone getting offended then that's a red flag that those people have something to hide and I wouldn't want my kid going over there. You're dealing with the safety of your child, you have every right to ask.
Post by EloiseWeenie on Oct 6, 2015 15:37:18 GMT -5
I live in a military town, so I'm pretty sure we are one of only a few weaponless homes. My kids rarely go to a home without us there, and the few that do either don't have weapons/ or they're in a safe.
Asking about guns is a good idea. I've been a little lax about it but guns are rare here.
Having said that you should never assume your child won't touch a gun. Research has shown many children do not heed this warning, regardless of how it is delivered. Below is one example.
I'm a gun owner and I ask, because it's important to know the safety situation of where your children are. Actually, I was shocked to find out that a friend of mine doesn't keep her guns in a safe and thinks hiding them is good enough. Not only did my son stop going there, it changed my mind on gun control. As an owner I would never be offended by that type of question.
I would not be offended in the least if someone asked and would be happy to show them how they're stored (biometric safe). I would also not be offended if someone chose not to let their child in my home following that discussion. I have asked and will every time they're someplace new. If they become defensive, that is not my problem, but it is a red flag.
Post by emoflamingo on Oct 6, 2015 15:50:48 GMT -5
There are a lot of hunters here, but I've never really asked. Mostly because he hasn't had many drop-off playdates but also because he is familiar with guns to the extent that he knows they aren't toys and they're not to be played with. I think I drilled that in early and often because of some of my extended family.
I'm always shocked (and confused) at how many suburban dwelling households have guns.
I kinda understand the hunting argument, to a very small degree, but the ones that have them absent of hunting kind of horrify me.
H and I have started asking our (Canadian) friends in convo if people have guns (not with respect to playdates) and people are like "of course we dont have guns! thats crazy! Only americans have guns!"
when we are travelling we often meet americans, we find the majority DO have guns. Dems or republicans, white or black, male or female. There definitely isnt an obvious demographic.
My brother just told me last night that he's getting a gun and not getting a gun safe. I told him that I'm not comfortable with my kids being in a house where guns aren't kept in a gun safe, and he just kind of shrugged his shoulders. We grew up in Sandy Hook and our parents still live there (we both live 20 minutes away) - you would think he would have a bit more sense. Guess we won't be going to their house.
It seems like with everything happening lately the whole issue is more polarized then ever. My brother never even talked about a gun until the last year, now he and wife "need one for protection". We went to our kid's dance recital this spring and their BFF's mom said quietly to me that she and I have to go in first to see if they have a metal detector because her husband had his gun on him. Good to know - my kids won't be playing at your house. A couple of people who I used to work with have posted pro-gun/anti-gun control stuff in the past couple of weeks, and these were not people who I would have expected that from. It's so sad and scary to me that this is a question that I have to ask.