depends on the age. When one is 3 years old, the other is my favourite. Man, I really do not like 3 year olds
That's the damn truth. My son was awful at 3. *cry*
My older two are actually very "easy" the majority of the time. They bicker amongst themselves on occasion, but they're laid back and mild mannered. Most of the annoyance is caused by my son. He and dd2 got at it a lot. He can be pretty darn annoying at times. I also think he's more extrovert, which is a challenge for me as an introvert. He's "on" a lot. Dd1 is a shy ambivert and dd2 is very introverted and super sensitive.
Post by kellykapowski on Oct 8, 2015 12:47:29 GMT -5
My brother, sister and I always tease my mom that she has a favorite. (It's my brother) She gets so angry sometimes when we ask her to fess up about it. Which is obviously why we constantly tease her about it, because it's fun to see her flip out about it.
I was always worried I'd have a favorite and I'd leave the other one in the theoretical corner all sad and lonely. At this point, I don't have a favorite. Some days I'm happier with one over the other due to their behavior. But I don't favor one over the other. They each have their own personalities and I appreciate and enjoy the different aspects of their personalities individually. I definitely have enjoyed DD2's first couple years a little more than I enjoyed the first few years of DD1's life, but that has more to do with my anxiety at the time of DD1's birth.
I hope this feeling is lifelong, but there's always the possibility one or both of them grows up to be a jerk. I will always love them, but maybe I won't like them at that point? I don't know how that works. I don't have adult kids lol.
It is a stage thing. I prefer hack right now because he is easier and at a really fun stage. When Leo was a baby I was obsesssdded. Both are cool kids. They are different, but fun.
I have a much closer relationship with DS than SDs. They're supposed to be all equal but with the way our family developed (long distance for many years, so we only had them for 8 weeks a year, plus all the conflict) it just never developed to where I had a parental relationship with them
Oh yeah 3 year olds are never mu favorite. Last night Leo chased a woman with his cart at the grocery store. Like she was high stepping and dodging trying to get away. I was mortified but she was like. " it is fine I have one of these at home as well ". /fist bump
Right now, O wins out more. But it's not constant.
My mom loves me and we have that special mother daughter thing, but she probably is more naturally inclined to prefer my bother. I have a different personality type and if we were coworkers or something we probably wouldn't mesh. My dad and I are too alike to really mesh so I don't benefit from being his favorite much. Ha. For both of my parents it's a low preference and never made me feel unloved/too loved. I hope if I permanently swing one way or the other, I can be as evenhanded.
Dude, kids can tell. No one really does this, right (obviously they do)? Like, you keep it to yourself. Unless your kid is Steve Buscemi with the lipstick and the kill list.
Dude, kids can tell. No one really does this, right (obviously they do)? Like, you keep it to yourself. Unless your kid is Steve Buscemi with the lipstick and the kill list.
Yes, of course you keep it to yourself (just like people on a plane should not vocalize their hatred of sitting next to small children).
But I really think having favorites is sometimes inevitable.
Post by whitemerlot on Oct 8, 2015 13:13:54 GMT -5
My dd is 3 and adorable. Sometimes she's my favorite because she is funny. Sometimes I can't stand her because she whines like crazy and is totally irrational.
My almost 6 year old is more interesting and independent. He's fun to talk to.
Sometimes I can't stand either kid and want to run away.
ETA I'm the favorite now that my 3 siblings and I are all adults. They all have so many issues.
Dude, kids can tell. No one really does this, right (obviously they do)? Like, you keep it to yourself. Unless your kid is Steve Buscemi with the lipstick and the kill list.
Of course they can.
But I have to say my dad was much better at hiding it than my mom. I didn't realize my brother was both of their favorites until adulthood. I thought he didn't have a favorite, just a touch of old fashioned ideas about sex and gender. I had come to terms with it before my kid was born. Many families have 4 or 5 kids. So most aren't the favorites and they do fine. My mother, on the other hand, spent my first child's early life telling me again and again how I needed to have a second because subsequent kids are sooooo much better than first kids. Which pissed me off because she only had one grandkid who she had already decided she was inferior to a hypothetical second. She went so far to tell a table of relatives how much worse first kids are - at a dinner I was hosting with my only child, and attended by my dad's eldest sister. Yeah. Ironically, she clearly prefers my first now that i have two.
I've been so relieved not to have a favorite. If/when that changes, I'll be sad.
No I can honestly say I do not. I like them for different reasons though, and have a preference in which one I'd want to be around in any given situation. They each have their own strengths and weaknesses but I def. don't prefer one over the other.
I was just thinking about this-- how in my mom's family, at least, there is a golden child in each family.
My son is a lot like I remember being as a kid, and we have similar interests, so I feel like I have a deeper understanding of him and what makes him tick. I really enjoy his company.
My daughter is much more outgoing and entertaining. She is a very big personality and probably gets an unfair amount of our attention. When she's in a good mood, she is just so fun to be around. But she is also completely foreign and frustrating to me.
Can I be honest? I love my baby SO MUCH and think he's perfect (except overnights). I don't want another kid because I'm afraid the new kid will be awful and ruin our perfect, little family.
Dude, kids can tell. No one really does this, right (obviously they do)? Like, you keep it to yourself. Unless your kid is Steve Buscemi with the lipstick and the kill list.
Post by jellymankelly on Oct 8, 2015 13:28:54 GMT -5
My favorite changes often. Sometimes my 9 year old is being difficult, sometimes my 5 year old is the difficult one. In public, my 9 year old is almost always my favorite, because he's an angel. At home, sometimes my 5 year old is, because he's still snuggly.
I am 10 years older than my brother, and from the time he was born, he was the favorite. He's done some pretty rotten stuff, but he is still 100% my mom's favorite. It was hard when I was growing up, but now I just roll my eyes at it.
My XH seems to favor my older son, and I'm really hoping it's not as evident to them as it is to me. As far as I can tell, he doesn't treat them differently.
Post by shamrockshake on Oct 8, 2015 13:28:29 GMT -5
no, I like one more than the other at some specific times but I don't have a favorite
I have 5 brothers and sisters and it's pretty clear who the favorites are, and VERY clear that I am my mothers least favorite so I try very hard not to make my kids feel the way she makes me feel
I mean, Theo's at a very difficult age, but all 2 year olds are tough. He tests my patience 24 hours a day. Yes, even at night. Lol. But no, I still can't say I have a favorite. I love them all equally.
It used to be Henry because I've always felt like he was mine in a way. I named him, he is small like I am, and he has more of my personality. He also wasn't supposed to be here so I felt more something that I can't put into words right now for him.
Jack was named by H, is built like him, and has more of his demeanor. I didn't feel quite as much of a connection.
Now?
Henry does not stop moving, does not listen to a thing no matter what language I say it in, and is just constant. Jack is really starting to get things. He can sit and work on a puzzle or a project. He can have a conversation better than Henry. He's just more enjoyable to be around lately.