Help writing a letter re:black face

[katfco]

I suppose "You're a racist idiot with questionable decision-making skills" is too blunt?

[vanillacourage]

I would call rather than send a letter.  The pedi probably does not open their own mail. I would bet your letter gets tossed by someone who figures you're leaving anyway, so there's no sense risking a coworker's job. 

[katfco]

Maybe something like,
Dear Doctor Racist,
This letter is to inform you that as of X date, we will be leaving your practice and finding a new pediatrician for our children. Although we have no complaints about the level of medical care we've received, recently we became aware of your decision to dress in blackface for a costume party.

As I'm sure you are aware, blackface is highly offensive and we are not comfortable associating with people who we know are willing to make such questionable and, frankly, racist, decisions. We wish you the best and hope in the future you will reconsider such racially insensitive actions.

[gpw]

JESUSCHRISTONAMOTHERFUCKINGCRACKER.

I just don't understand this. I have no earthly clue how educated adult people in 2015 don't know this is unacceptable.

I'm sorry. I know this isn't helpful to your question. Motherfucker, though!

[foundmylazybum]

Nov 1, 2015 19:19:11 GMT -5 gpw said:

JESUSCHRISTONAMOTHERFUCKINGCRACKER.

I just don't understand this. I have no earthly clue how educated adult people in 2015 don't know this is unacceptable.

I'm sorry. I know this isn't helpful to your question. Motherfucker, though!

Why can't people just go as something funny for Halloween and be done with it? Be Bacon and Eggs, Eric and Sookie, Gumby. I saw a guy dancing in a Gumby costume one year? Amazing. I mean...it's not hard!

[gpw]

Nov 1, 2015 19:39:43 GMT -5 foundmylazybum said:

Nov 1, 2015 19:19:11 GMT -5 gpw said:

JESUSCHRISTONAMOTHERFUCKINGCRACKER.

I just don't understand this. I have no earthly clue how educated adult people in 2015 don't know this is unacceptable.

I'm sorry. I know this isn't helpful to your question. Motherfucker, though!

Why can't people just go as something funny for Halloween and be done with it? Be Bacon and Eggs, Eric and Sookie, Gumby. I saw a guy dancing in a Gumby costume one year? Amazing. I mean...it's not hard!

This is what I'm saying!  I just don't get it.  And I just don't get why educated people don't understand this is fucking racist.  It's 2015, FFS.

[katfco]

Nov 1, 2015 19:54:22 GMT -5 gpw said:

Nov 1, 2015 19:39:43 GMT -5 foundmylazybum said:

Why can't people just go as something funny for Halloween and be done with it? Be Bacon and Eggs, Eric and Sookie, Gumby. I saw a guy dancing in a Gumby costume one year? Amazing. I mean...it's not hard!

This is what I'm saying!  I just don't get it.  And I just don't get why educated people don't understand this is fucking racist.  It's 2015, FFS.

I think most do understand it's racist. They just don't care or see anything wrong with certain levels of racism.

[barcelonagirl]

Smo has an excellent post re: black face on Style and Beauty.

[readyin07]

I applaud your decision to call this behavior out.

I am not sure I agree 100% that all people know this is racist and choose to do it anyway (some do, I know). I truly think in an insulated, white washed community as pp said hers is that people could be going around la di da and have no damn clue the degree of racist that this is. Because to me that is what makes systemic institutionalized racism so insidious -- that even "good" people practice it because it is all they know and they never stop to question their social morays. I am white and a bit of a Pollyanna so I know y'all will tell me I am dead wrong

So I personally would approach this differently. I am a big fan of Maya Angelou's "when you know better, do better." I would take this opportunity to educate first. use the post referenced above on S&B as to why blackface is a horrible racist thing, open a dialogue...

[bimbi284]

Here's the post: pandce.proboards.com/thread/487329/thing

[readyin07]

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

Nov 1, 2015 20:47:15 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

I applaud your decision to call this behavior out.

I am not sure I agree 100% that all people know this is racist and choose to do it anyway (some do, I know). I truly think in an insulated, white washed community as pp said hers is that people could be going around la di da and have no damn clue the degree of racist that this is. Because to me that is what makes systemic institutionalized racism so insidious -- that even "good" people practice it because it is all they know and they never stop to question their social morays. I am white and a bit of a Pollyanna so I know y'all will tell me I am dead wrong

So I personally would approach this differently. I am a big fan of Maya Angelou's "when you know better, do better." I would take this opportunity to educate first. use the post referenced above on S&B as to why blackface is a horrible racist thing, open a dialogue...

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve. 

Well I don't think she is being holier than thou. This woman should damn well know better. But I do think that sometimes when we go on the attack and put people immediately on the defensive, we miss a teaching opportunity bc they aren't listening. from personal experience sometimes it works and sometimes it fails and the person just won't listen and that sucks, but being the Pollyanna I am I like to give it the old college try. 

[UMaineTeach]

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

Nov 1, 2015 20:47:15 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

I applaud your decision to call this behavior out.

I am not sure I agree 100% that all people know this is racist and choose to do it anyway (some do, I know). I truly think in an insulated, white washed community as pp said hers is that people could be going around la di da and have no damn clue the degree of racist that this is. Because to me that is what makes systemic institutionalized racism so insidious -- that even "good" people practice it because it is all they know and they never stop to question their social morays. I am white and a bit of a Pollyanna so I know y'all will tell me I am dead wrong

So I personally would approach this differently. I am a big fan of Maya Angelou's "when you know better, do better." I would take this opportunity to educate first. use the post referenced above on S&B as to why blackface is a horrible racist thing, open a dialogue...

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve. 

I'm not picking up a 'she's sheltered' card to play on this one.

There is a slim to no chance that you don't know it's racist to do blackface to dress as a specific black person.
There is a slim to no chance that you don't know dressing as a culture is wrong.

But the double wrong blackface+dressing as "an Aboriginal" that's a whole other level. There's just no 'oops' There's planning, forethought, and choosing not to care.

I can't even stumble into an 'Aboriginal' costume on Google. I am not getting any shopping links for 'African Aboriginal costume' Spirit Halloween and Party City still let you 'innocently' be an Indian Princess, a Mexican, or a Geisha, like, hey, if it's in a megastore, it can't be wrong. They are not offering an African Aboriginal costume.

[gpw]

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

Nov 1, 2015 20:47:15 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

I applaud your decision to call this behavior out.

I am not sure I agree 100% that all people know this is racist and choose to do it anyway (some do, I know). I truly think in an insulated, white washed community as pp said hers is that people could be going around la di da and have no damn clue the degree of racist that this is. Because to me that is what makes systemic institutionalized racism so insidious -- that even "good" people practice it because it is all they know and they never stop to question their social morays. I am white and a bit of a Pollyanna so I know y'all will tell me I am dead wrong

So I personally would approach this differently. I am a big fan of Maya Angelou's "when you know better, do better." I would take this opportunity to educate first. use the post referenced above on S&B as to why blackface is a horrible racist thing, open a dialogue...

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve. 

I am agog that people don't know this is wrong, but even if they haven't been taught, it's not rocket science.  This person is a doctor who has presumably had many years of education beyond high school.  There are no excuses given.  No chances.  Ignorance does not excuse here because common fucking sense should have prevailed.  Either that, or they really are horribly racist.  Either way, give 'em hell, OP.

[sushi]

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

Nov 1, 2015 20:47:15 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

I applaud your decision to call this behavior out.

I am not sure I agree 100% that all people know this is racist and choose to do it anyway (some do, I know). I truly think in an insulated, white washed community as pp said hers is that people could be going around la di da and have no damn clue the degree of racist that this is. Because to me that is what makes systemic institutionalized racism so insidious -- that even "good" people practice it because it is all they know and they never stop to question their social morays. I am white and a bit of a Pollyanna so I know y'all will tell me I am dead wrong

So I personally would approach this differently. I am a big fan of Maya Angelou's "when you know better, do better." I would take this opportunity to educate first. use the post referenced above on S&B as to why blackface is a horrible racist thing, open a dialogue...

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve. 

wtf. It's not holier than thou to call out racism. A boss, who is concerned with clients and perception, should hand this woman her ass.

If a person in 2015 doesn't know it's offensive to use black face they're too ignorant for me to care about

[katfco]

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

Nov 1, 2015 20:47:15 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

I applaud your decision to call this behavior out.

I am not sure I agree 100% that all people know this is racist and choose to do it anyway (some do, I know). I truly think in an insulated, white washed community as pp said hers is that people could be going around la di da and have no damn clue the degree of racist that this is. Because to me that is what makes systemic institutionalized racism so insidious -- that even "good" people practice it because it is all they know and they never stop to question their social morays. I am white and a bit of a Pollyanna so I know y'all will tell me I am dead wrong

So I personally would approach this differently. I am a big fan of Maya Angelou's "when you know better, do better." I would take this opportunity to educate first. use the post referenced above on S&B as to why blackface is a horrible racist thing, open a dialogue...

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve. 

You know what? I feel pretty confident saying most people on this board are better than someone who would don a blackface costume. The doctor probably didn't think, "I'm going to wear an offensive costume! Whee!" Instead, she probably thought, "Hey, wouldn't this be funny?" believing she was surrounded by like-minded people. 

It's not weird to take offense and want to take action over such an offense. 

[gpw]

Nov 1, 2015 21:05:26 GMT -5 bimbi284 said:

Here's the post: pandce.proboards.com/thread/487329/thing

JFC I am just seeing this.  I think I might stroke out. 

[msmerymac]

Aboriginal people? The fuck?

Anyway, the thing is, even if she had no fucking clue she was being highly offensive and a racist, it DOESN'T MATTER. It's kind of like how claiming you are ignorant of a law doesn't excuse you from breaking the law. You might be a complete moron who doesn't know in 2015 not to dress in black face (which is another issue), but you are still being offensive, regardless, so there's no excuse. There is no "lesser" transgression because of your own state of mind, you know?

I would say that you question whether the person can adequately treat a diverse population of children and their parents (I know you said it's pretty white, but I'm thinking LGBT, atheist, etc) due to their overtly racist act and obviously poor decision making skills.

[pixy0stix]

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

Nov 1, 2015 20:47:15 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

I applaud your decision to call this behavior out.

I am not sure I agree 100% that all people know this is racist and choose to do it anyway (some do, I know). I truly think in an insulated, white washed community as pp said hers is that people could be going around la di da and have no damn clue the degree of racist that this is. Because to me that is what makes systemic institutionalized racism so insidious -- that even "good" people practice it because it is all they know and they never stop to question their social morays. I am white and a bit of a Pollyanna so I know y'all will tell me I am dead wrong

So I personally would approach this differently. I am a big fan of Maya Angelou's "when you know better, do better." I would take this opportunity to educate first. use the post referenced above on S&B as to why blackface is a horrible racist thing, open a dialogue...

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve. 

Excuse me? LOLOLOL! Bitch please.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2015 21:36:08 GMT -5 gpw said:

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve.  

I am agog that people don't know this is wrong, but even if they haven't been taught, it's not rocket science.  This person is a doctor who has presumably had many years of education beyond high school.  There are no excuses given.  No chances.  Ignorance does not excuse here because common fucking sense should have prevailed.  Either that, or they really are horribly racist.  Either way, give 'em hell, OP.

You might be surprised how book smart doesn't translate to culturally competent.

Just today I got in to a disagreement on a message board for med students and physicians with a resident in regards to something race related.

People fucking suck, no matter the degree behind their name.

OP, I think it's completely fine to call attention to this.

[orriskitten]

I think it's great to call attention to it now, but I'd rather start a conversation rather than a one sided thing. Since you want to get the letter to a partner, maybe have a conversation with one instead to let them know and ask how would be best for you to approach this with racist doctor. Like pp said, let them know you're not comfortable with being around someone who could make such a hugely offensive statement and that you're worried if their lapses in judgement might mean she is offending other patients who aren't like her.

Since she is educated and decided to call the costume "aboriginal" I'd assume she was going for the ironic and that she built up a whole argument that is isn't racist in her head. This kind of thinking needs to be engaged. It is still racist, even if she didn't mean it to be. I'd be worried that a letter without you engaging with her will lead to her thinking "oh, she just didn't get it. I'm too smart to be racist."

[emilyj]

Nov 1, 2015 21:02:16 GMT -5 @chloe77 said:

I completely agree. I think it's offensive too, of course, but I think you are being kind of holier-than-thou here. Your desire to get your letter into the hands of her bosses is weird. It's possible that this woman doesn't know her costume was offensive. Why would a doctor go to a party with patients and deliberatly offend?  You should call her directly, if you have the nerve. 

Are you kidding with this? No, really, are you?

She's wanting to call out racism. That's OUTSTANDING. I applaud her for speaking up when so many would stay silent.

She wants to speak out to the person that will hear it, not toss it in the trash.

Holier-than-thou? No. Just...no.

[gpw]

Nov 2, 2015 4:23:12 GMT -5 orriskitten said:

I think it's great to call attention to it now, but I'd rather start a conversation rather than a one sided thing. Since you want to get the letter to a partner, maybe have a conversation with one instead to let them know and ask how would be best for you to approach this with racist doctor. Like pp said, let them know you're not comfortable with being around someone who could make such a hugely offensive statement and that you're worried if their lapses in judgement might mean she is offending other patients who aren't like her.

Since she is educated and decided to call the costume "aboriginal" I'd assume she was going for the ironic and that she built up a whole argument that is isn't racist in her head. This kind of thinking needs to be engaged. It is still racist, even if she didn't mean it to be. I'd be worried that a letter without you engaging with her will lead to her thinking "oh, she just didn't get it. I'm too smart to be racist."

The reason I don't agree with this is because people don't take kindly to being called racist and no matter how gently the OP couches this conversation this person will most likely feel that they have been called a racist and immediately become defensive.  It could be a tricky conversation.  I also don't think it's the OP's responsibility to teach these people (not that you're saying that it is).

[shauni27]

I don't know what else you could add--I think short and sweet and to the point is always best. But I applaud your decision to do this.

[readyin07]

Nov 2, 2015 10:24:53 GMT -5 gpw said:

Nov 2, 2015 4:23:12 GMT -5 orriskitten said:

I think it's great to call attention to it now, but I'd rather start a conversation rather than a one sided thing. Since you want to get the letter to a partner, maybe have a conversation with one instead to let them know and ask how would be best for you to approach this with racist doctor. Like pp said, let them know you're not comfortable with being around someone who could make such a hugely offensive statement and that you're worried if their lapses in judgement might mean she is offending other patients who aren't like her.

Since she is educated and decided to call the costume "aboriginal" I'd assume she was going for the ironic and that she built up a whole argument that is isn't racist in her head. This kind of thinking needs to be engaged. It is still racist, even if she didn't mean it to be. I'd be worried that a letter without you engaging with her will lead to her thinking "oh, she just didn't get it. I'm too smart to be racist."

The reason I don't agree with this is because people don't take kindly to being called racist and no matter how gently the OP couches this conversation this person will most likely feel that they have been called a racist and immediately become defensive.  It could be a tricky conversation.  I also don't think it's the OP's responsibility to teach these people (not that you're saying that it is).

I respectfully disagree with this. I do think there is a responsibility here to educate (or at least I see this as a responsibility for myself). It is a tricky conversation and that is why I think it's an important one to have. What the person does with that information is, of course, going to be up to them. But at least the next time it comes up they won't have the excuse that they didn't know better. 

Of course I think in 2015 people should know better, but I guess I feel like sometimes they don't. As was discussed above, racism does not have to be intentional to be racism. There are "good" people who are out there who are racist, I know some of them. They believe, theoretically, in equal rights, they have black friends, yadayada. And yet they fail to see the forest through the trees and how what they see as "harmless fun" is racist and how it contributes to institutionalized racism, which is as harmful in 2015 as the KKK was in the 1950s and 60s. 

I use myself as an example. I am a child of the 80s. I am sure I am not the only one here who indiscriminately threw around the word "retarded" as a descriptor for a myriad of things. At some point, I learned that this is unacceptable and the reasons why it is unacceptable. Thankfully I picked it up pretty fast I do not think that even then I was a bad person, but I needed to be educated. When I knew better, I did better.

[gpw]

[sushi]

Is that a long curved penis? Like Oceania fertility art?

[pixy0stix]

Holy shit.

I'd include the picture in the letter.

[readyin07]

Nov 2, 2015 13:08:59 GMT -5 sushi said:

Is that a long curved penis? Like Oceania fertility art?

Methinks they just returned from a trip and thought it would be "cool" to show off a new souvenir...it looks like a koteka.

Lord. 

[readyin07]

Nov 1, 2015 22:26:37 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Nov 1, 2015 21:36:08 GMT -5 gpw said:

I am agog that people don't know this is wrong, but even if they haven't been taught, it's not rocket science.  This person is a doctor who has presumably had many years of education beyond high school.  There are no excuses given.  No chances.  Ignorance does not excuse here because common fucking sense should have prevailed.  Either that, or they really are horribly racist.  Either way, give 'em hell, OP.

You might be surprised how book smart doesn't translate to culturally competent.

Just today I got in to a disagreement on a message board for med students and physicians with a resident in regards to something race related.

People fucking suck, no matter the degree behind their name.

OP, I think it's completely fine to call attention to this.

This.

It's interesting to me when I hear this argument here and I've heard it a time or two. Another ingrained prejudice -- the "education" bias, assuming an advanced degree somehow also buys you some sort of "goodness" or "superiority." I fall victim to it from time to time too, but I always groan when I see this brought up. Sadly they are not handing out common sense, empathy or cultural sensitivity along with your degree.

[gpw]

Nov 2, 2015 13:24:14 GMT -5 readyin07 said:

Nov 1, 2015 22:26:37 GMT -5 @wandering said:

You might be surprised how book smart doesn't translate to culturally competent.

Just today I got in to a disagreement on a message board for med students and physicians with a resident in regards to something race related.

People fucking suck, no matter the degree behind their name.

OP, I think it's completely fine to call attention to this.

This.

It's interesting to me when I hear this argument here and I've heard it a time or two. Another ingrained prejudice -- the "education" bias, assuming an advanced degree somehow also buys you some sort of "goodness" or "superiority." I fall victim to it from time to time too, but I always groan when I see this brought up. Sadly they are not handing out common sense, empathy or cultural sensitivity along with your degree.

Not what I meant.  I ASSumed advanced degree/extended education/med school would have translated into more education about racial bias.  Clearly in this case I was wrong.