Cross post from ML - Must read so funny

[downtoearth]

This buzzfeed and Twitter embarrassing moments is laugh out loud funny. So worth the 5 min to read. Too many Twitter pics to embed.

www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/people-are-tweeting-their-most-awkward-moments-and-it-is-cri#.sq8aABb7e

[rootbeerfloat]

Horse kittens!

Also dead at "you're talking to a trash can."

[msmerymac]

I saw this last night. I think the polio one is my favorite.

[2curlydogs]

Reminds me of

[laurenpetro]

On your right!

Love this list.

[orriskitten]

Lol festive glitter spray!

[laurenpetro]

Nov 3, 2015 15:10:12 GMT -5 Dig Ophelia said:

Now I'm always going to wonder, when someone transfers me on the phone, whether or not it's actually the same person, just using a different voice.

My sister and I sound nearly alike. People always think I transferred her to myself. One time she got in a fight with the guy when he accused her of being me. It was hilarious.

[2doxies]

Omg, the lighthouse one! I'm crying.

[Skyesthelimit1212]

DAMN-IT, I can't finish reading the rest. Two co-workers came up to the front and decided to sit down and have a meeting.

[josieposy]

I adore Jenny Lawson. The tweets I saw on this were amazing.

[Vespasia]

I giggled snorted, loudly at this one. Thankfully only one of my coworkers was in the room and not both. 

@thebloggess pre pap test friend sprayed perfume on her lady garden. Doc says "that's. ..festive." It was her daughter's glitter spray

— h miller (@wafflesnbacon)

[sushi]

I'm pretty sure I've done the same with the gas tank. Including driving away.

[Deleted]

I laughed.

Out loud.

[moolarkey]

That made me laugh so much. Co-worker sent out system alert to thousands of our external customers. At the end he apologized for the "incontinence this may have caused". Our customers actually loved it, told us it was the best message we ever sent out.

[cap]

Nov 3, 2015 15:49:52 GMT -5 sushi said:

I'm pretty sure I've done the same with the gas tank. Including driving away.

Well, my boss once drove away from the gas pump with the pump STILL IN THE GAS TANK OF HIS CAR.

He also hit a turkey once on his drive home from work, didn't stop to check for damage, and forgot all about it by the time he got home.  He didn't remember he'd done it until he took his car in for an oil change weeks later, and the mechanic asked him if he'd hit something, because his headlight was broken out and there were feathers stuck in it.  

[msmerymac]

I was parallel parking once, tapped the bumper of the car behind me, and the car alarm went off. I left and parked around the corner, even though the original space was right outside my destination.

[raangoli]

OMG I am dying. I am glad no one sits around me.

[meshaliuknits]

Nov 3, 2015 16:18:22 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Maybe I didn't read far enough down the list but....none of that was funny to me.

Not even the lady who didn't recognize herself in the mirror b/c she had just dyed her hair?

[ChillyMcFreeze]

Horse kittens! I had to open my e-mail on a huge screen in front of 50 people today, and I could totally see the "WHAT THE FUCK IS RHUBARB" one being me.

[Skyesthelimit1212]

Nov 3, 2015 16:18:22 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

Maybe I didn't read far enough down the list but....none of that was funny to me.

Or the one where the woman told the very handsome man that was eating a tootsie roll?  MY GOD so funny.  

[AAM2012]

My favorites are the flowers costing an arm and a leg and turning ft the vibraters.

[Deleted]

I've also done the gas pump thing before (and driven away).

[SmartyCat]

Nov 3, 2015 16:03:03 GMT -5 moolarkey said:

That made me laugh so much. Co-worker sent out system alert to thousands of our external customers. At the end he apologized for the "incontinence this may have caused". Our customers actually loved it, told us it was the best message we ever sent out.

One of my employees got an e-mail from a customer once ending with "sorry for the incontinence". Apparently I am 8 years old, because I will never find this anything other than hilarious.

[bowies]

My major was public relations. I think you all know where that typo went horribly wrong.

[Mrs.Rad888]

Nov 3, 2015 21:36:48 GMT -5 Dig Ophelia said:

Nov 3, 2015 15:46:33 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

I've done the "Im good. How are you?!" excitedly once at a funeral and had to immediately follow it up with "that was a stupid thing to say. sorry. i will be....not here right now." and had to walk away  

It's funny how often we all engage in conversational pleasantries to the point where we can blurt out something like that, forgetting the context of the conversation.  

I do this more often than I'd like to admit with "thank you" and "you're welcome".  Once, I sneezed and a stranger said "Bless you." and my response was ... "You're welcome!".  Whoops.  lol  

Going through the Mc Donald's drive-thru, I was given my order and said "Thank you." I was expecting to hear something along the lines of "Have a nice day" from the person in the window, so I replied, "Thanks, you too." Unfortunately, the person in the window had said "See you next time."

[ajj]

I have a pretty embarrassing one. I had just moved up at work and started doing calculations and had my own clients. One of my clients was hopeful a contribution could be higher. I was on the phone with her and said "Let me play with it and see if I can get it up more." The owner of our company was also in that day and sitting at the desk over. There was a long moment of silence before we both quickly shuffled off the phone. I was mortified. That client ended up leaving us a few months later and I've always thought it was because of that one phone call.

I think I've told my D.A.R.E. Program story here before, but in case I haven't, I was in 4th grade. Police officers came in to class and taught the program (just in case nobody knows this) and they had a little workbook that went along with it. One of the pages was make your own personalized license plate. I thought I would be clever and wrote IH8PIGS because pigs are gross, dirty, snorty animals. The police office came over and looked at it weird and said "the people or the animals?" I was all confused and was like "the animals of course." I relayed the story to my mom later that day because it seemed odd and she started yelling at me and then explained what else it could mean. I wanted to die. So horrible. He was the nicest officer, too. I still want to look him up and apologize.

[aurora]

Oh my goodness ajj...the IH8PIGS is killing me.

[aurora]

Also who doesn't know what rhubarb is? Is this a food desert thing?

[thejackpot]

Oh my goodness, I am crying. DD just came and asked me what is wrong. I told her it's because my daughter never listens (she's 2 and she doesn't) she started laughing and told me, "That's right Momma, I don't listen!" and fell out laughing. Today is going to be a long one.

[wambam]

I inappropriately say "you too" regularly. It just comes out of my mouth before I can stop it.