namasteak I feel your pain; my DH is actually out of town until Thursday night for work right now, in fact. My answer is, I don't. He's relatively new in his career and I know this is just how it needs to be for now. Not sure what your DH's situation is, but if mine wanted to try to adjust hours, etc. it just wouldn't be good for his career at all. It does suck, though.
He's a consultant for O&G companies so sometimes he gets on super demanding projects and can often make requests about which one to take. But with the price of oil so low he understandably feels like that's a risky move. It's just really shitty timing with a newborn.
laurenh I am supervisory. It's a whole other ballgame having my own team. Reviewing isn't so bad it's when they don't learn from my last review and make the same mistakes.
The red tape in my office is ridiculous, but everyone is affected by that down to the lowest level.
namasteak I feel your pain; my DH is actually out of town until Thursday night for work right now, in fact. My answer is, I don't. He's relatively new in his career and I know this is just how it needs to be for now. Not sure what your DH's situation is, but if mine wanted to try to adjust hours, etc. it just wouldn't be good for his career at all. It does suck, though.
He's a consultant for O&G companies so sometimes he gets on super demanding projects and can often make requests about which one to take. But with the price of oil so low he understandably feels like that's a risky move. It's just really shitty timing with a newborn.
Post by yellowbrkrd on Nov 10, 2015 20:34:41 GMT -5
I advise against doing a complete bathroom gut and remodel while pregnant. I am so sick of painfully getting out of bed and walking downstairs to pee in the middle of the night. And I am so sick of going to my mom's to shower.
Post by oceanstbride on Nov 10, 2015 21:17:41 GMT -5
That is really scary timorousbeastie. Please keep safe! Brie - I hope traveling and your appt tomorrow goes well.
Night 1 of 5 solo parenting done. Planning on going to bed soon since I have to be at orientation for my new job at 8 and have to get DS to daycare around 7.
namasteak h works insane hours and I've realized that I just need to roll with it. Mine hates it, it's not in his control since the work has to get done, and he would much rather be home. So rather than making both of us feel bad about it, I've chosen to be as supportive as I can. I text good, fun stuff I've done with the kids and call to have the kids say good night. It sucks and I have moments of wallowing about it, but it is not helpful to him if I complain or ask him to work less.
If your h has some flexibility, then the hours are definitely worth a discussion. Try to come from a place of support (I'm worried about you and how you are able to handle working this much kind of thing) instead of making it about you. I usually get more from my h if I take that stance vs talking about how he doesn't spend enough time with the family.
I also chose to go back to work part-time because I couldn't handle sah when I'm on all day everyday by myself. Work provides the break I need to be a good solo parent to my boys
This is not a helpful post I guess since I have no real tips other than find a way to make it work for you.
I am so on top of things. I finished ds' photobook for th grandmas and ordered it tonight. This is a good three weeks earlier than i usually get it done and I feel such relief to have it done! Plus I feel good about the deal I got between groupon and coupons.
Now I just have to find and do 11 more hours of continuing ed before baby comes in 4.5ish weeks.
Post by jeaniebueller on Nov 10, 2015 21:38:17 GMT -5
timorousbeastie, I hope you are okay. I would urge you and your H to seek a ppo or restraining order against him as well, since he has made direct threats on your lives.
DH worked from home so I could take his car to work because he said mine was too unsafe to even drive. Then he spent the evening replacing my brakes and rotors. Having a handy husband that can do damn near everything, or so it seems, it very helpful and MM! He's pretty sure I drove around last week with the e-brake on. Oops. I mean it wasn't on enough to trip the sensor or light, but must have been pushed in just enough to effect the rear rotors and brakes. There was nothing left, it was just metal on metal scraping. He wasn't mad and just said, "It happens. Just try to be more observant." Oooookay, will do!
namasteak h works insane hours and I've realized that I just need to roll with it. Mine hates it, it's not in his control since the work has to get done, and he would much rather be home. So rather than making both of us feel bad about it, I've chosen to be as supportive as I can. I text good, fun stuff I've done with the kids and call to have the kids say good night. It sucks and I have moments of wallowing about it, but it is not helpful to him if I complain or ask him to work less.
If your h has some flexibility, then the hours are definitely worth a discussion. Try to come from a place of support (I'm worried about you and how you are able to handle working this much kind of thing) instead of making it about you. I usually get more from my h if I take that stance vs talking about how he doesn't spend enough time with the family.
I also chose to go back to work part-time because I couldn't handle sah when I'm on all day everyday by myself. Work provides the break I need to be a good solo parent to my boys
This is not a helpful post I guess since I have no real tips other than find a way to make it work for you.
It is helpful to hear how other people handle a similar situations! Unfortunately there isn't any flexibility on this project but I like how you explained how I can reframe how I think about the hours.
I would pay more for childcare than I would earn working part time so that's not a good option but I do get some breaks. Ds1 is in preschool 5hrs twice a week and I have babysitters 2 hrs before bedtime on days he doesn't go to school (they mostly take care of DS1). There is an awesome gym with 2 hours of child care/day I can start going to in a month (when ds2 is 3 months) so I may splurge on that membership.
It is helpful to hear how other people handle a similar situations! Unfortunately there isn't any flexibility on this project but I like how you explained how I can reframe how I think about the hours.
I would pay more for childcare than I would earn working part time so that's not a good option but I do get some breaks. Ds1 is in preschool 5hrs twice a week and I have babysitters 2 hrs before bedtime on days he doesn't go to school (they mostly take care of DS1). There is an awesome gym with 2 hours of child care/day I can start going to in a month (when ds2 is 3 months) so I may splurge on that membership.
I'm glad you do have some help with a sitter and school. I'm definitely not bringing in money with working, but my mental health and attitude are making it worth it.
I also always advocate for throwing money at the problem. So yes to the awesome gym and yes to hiring out house projects/house cleaners or whatever it is that makes your life easier and eases a burden.
It is helpful to hear how other people handle a similar situations! Unfortunately there isn't any flexibility on this project but I like how you explained how I can reframe how I think about the hours.
I would pay more for childcare than I would earn working part time so that's not a good option but I do get some breaks. Ds1 is in preschool 5hrs twice a week and I have babysitters 2 hrs before bedtime on days he doesn't go to school (they mostly take care of DS1). There is an awesome gym with 2 hours of child care/day I can start going to in a month (when ds2 is 3 months) so I may splurge on that membership.
I'm glad you do have some help with a sitter and school. I'm definitely not bringing in money with working, but my mental health and attitude are making it worth it.
I also always advocate for throwing money at the problem. So yes to the awesome gym and yes to hiring out house projects/house cleaners or whatever it is that makes your life easier and eases a burden.
I am very grateful that we can afford to pay to make things a little easier on me. Honestly I'm kind of embarrassed that I'm struggling with something so many people handle. We are not saving much at the moment but after suffering with PPD/PPA with DS1 we decided my mental health was important enough to put financial goals on hold.
Day 3 of my throat swollen and in pain. My tongue feels swollen. Like the sides of it hurt from pushing up against my molars. No fever. Constantly tired. Swollen lymph nod.
I'm having a hard time following Homeland this season. I was doing okay until the last few episodes. I need to just read a recap. Went to a yoga class at the gym that I was excited about but it was lame. Lots of breathing and stretching. I like athletic, fast moving vinyasa. I didn't even break a sweat tonight.
OMG MH does not understand why I don't appreciate people asking when we're going to have more kids. His aunt and his dad's GF both asked me that tonight. It's none of their business! "Well, they're family, and family talks about that kind of stuff". No. I do not discuss my reproductive system with family. If they needed to know, they would know. Now apparently I'm over sensitive and easily offended. We even had TTTC J and he just doesn't get it. I'm not saying I was offended, I just don't like the question! I don't understand why it needs to be asked! Obviously I'm not pregnant. So more kids are probably in the offing. You will know when it happens. Gah
Post by waterchurch on Nov 11, 2015 0:41:46 GMT -5
DH just gave me a grin and eyebrow wiggle watching me shimmy out of my bravado nursing tank. Apparently the awkward tugging it takes to get out of that thing is sexy? Lol.
I had a Come and Get this MFer moment with J tonight. She BEGGED me to take her to swimming vs my husband (my mom normally takes her - this is her thing). The stars aligned and I was finishing up nursing L when it was time to go. Lesson goes fine but when it's time to go she LOSES HER SHIT. She keeps standing under the play showers and refuses to get out and I basically have to drag her and force her into clean clothes. We get to the car and she starts screaming about lollipops and screams the entire drive home. OMG awful. Moments like this I understand the people who prefer babies over three year olds.