Post by Doggy Mommy on Nov 21, 2015 17:43:32 GMT -5
At my mom's house, a close family friend who usually comes but hates cooking will pay for the turkey. I bring some dishes that I make (sweet potatoes, homemade rolls, pumpkin cheesecake etc). My sister brings wine (and also works in the wine industry so she has a discount). My mom does most of the cooking (turkey, homemade stuffing, veggies etc) and buys all that. Other friends bring salad, more wine, and a side dish. I think it works out to be pretty fair. If we were hosting and buying it all, I would probably accept money if people offered.
We host thanksgiving and Christmas. My ILs suck so not only can they can not cook, we try to have them not being food as it's usually terrible. They've never offered money. FIL will sometimes bring the largest bottle of sutter home for him to drink and then we throw it out bc no one else likes it and he won't take it back with them.
My parents usually help financially other times so I don't worry about specific holidays. Now my mom wrangles E which is priceless these days.
ETA: when BIL got remarried they had 5 kids between them. We never knew if they were or were not coming for thanksgiving and if they showed if they were going to eat. Planning around a possible 7 extra people was no fun. I'm so glad we've stopped inviting them to stuff.
Wait...I'm confused why you're asking this question. Your mother hasn't offered you anything yet. Are you expecting her to offer and you just want to know what would be acceptable?
Post by curbsideprophet on Nov 23, 2015 15:32:44 GMT -5
I don't really understand why you think she would expect others to contribute directly to costs. That seems like a stranger assumption. Where they giving money to her when she hosted at her house?
I would accept money from my parents in this situation and I would also be fine with giving out suggestions of what to bring if people ask.
Yes, when the big holidays shifted from my grandmother to my mom's house, my grandmother always had a big smile on her face when she said "I'll buy the roast". And there was always a general sense of thanks and a round of cheers and "thanks for the roast, gma!" As a kid, I thought it was just a way to keep her included in the hosting (and it was) I didn't really think about the $$$ until I was older.
When I started hosting DH's family my MIL asked if she could buy the roast and I was "Of course, that would be great!" - and we carry-on the tradition of a big thanks and a toast at the meal. My ILs love, love feeling a part of the meal and appreciated.
We host Christmas every year. In September my mom starts saving whatever points she saves to get a free Honeybaked Ham for the event. She insists so I let her. But I wouldn't accept money.
We accept any money our parents offer. They can afford it, and we never ask, so if they offered, I would assume they were offering because they wanted to and accept graciously.