where would your family fit on a scale?

[jag01]

On a scale of 1-10 for functional or dysfunctional? A 1 being your parents are still loving married, you and your siblings are the best of friends, or 10 like could be on a Dr Phil or Jerry Springer show.

[thecheshirekat]

I read the title and thought "I don't know, maybe the truck stop or a livestock auction? We're pretty big people..."

I'd give us a 6. My parents are still married but hate each other, and my brother's kind of a wreck - we talk and are ok with each other, but we're not close.

[Deleted]

Hahaha. Omg well my family would probably be a 10. But my inlaws, despite their quirks, are actually pretty much a 4-5. Mil and fil have been married for over 35 years, h's sisters turned out fine and they always make holidays and stuff nice. Granted we have all had our issues in the past and there has been and always will be drama. But def not the mess that my family is

[jag01]

I'd put us at 9.5. My mom has her fair share of mental health problems, paired with an abusive husband. I'm not sure how CPS wasn't called. Needless to say I no longer have a relationship with them. Goes to show how resilient kids are, as you would never be able to tell what my history was unless I told you.
As crazy as my in-laws are, they are fairly functional, they respect each other, and enjoy each others company. I actually am envious and wish my own family was more like them.

[NandaB]

Nov 21, 2015 12:47:49 GMT -5 thecheshirekat said:

I read the title and thought "I don't know, maybe the truck stop or a livestock auction? We're pretty big people....

Thanks, I needed a laugh

[cjcouple]

My side of family a 1. I don't see my dad much but he is happy. And then there is my sister and her family who we adore and never fight with.

My dh side? 10. So much drama all the time. DCF involved with a sibling. The other sibling has major health and hygiene issues. His parents are all sick all the time. At least 3 ER visits per month. It's nuts.

So I guess we land at a 5. Haha

[lala]

2ish for mine and maybe 4ish for dh's.

[ashb62]

Nov 21, 2015 12:47:49 GMT -5 thecheshirekat said:

I read the title and thought "I don't know, maybe the truck stop or a livestock auction? We're pretty big people..."

Hilarious! I for real laughed out loud.

[ashb62]

Probably a 6 or 7 for both. We both have pretty big families so there's a pretty good mix of mostly sane and totally crazy.

[cna]

I would say 8.5-9 on a good day.
My dad was married (and divorced) twice.
My mother (who I don't really have a relationship with) is calling it quits on her fourth marriage.
My sister still isn't speaking to me.
The only people I really talk to are my brother and SIL.

[jcm]

I think I'd say 8 because no one has slept with anyone else spouse or the such. My mom & dad divorced when I was 10 my dad was a non-functioning alcoholic & never had a job after my mom & him divorced. He lived with my grandparents.

My dad's middle sister was also an alcoholic & lost custody of her 2 year old son when her husband divorced her. She later ended up in prison for welfare fraud.

My dad had 3 DUI's (3rd one is a felony in TX) my grandparents paid a ton of money for an attorney so he wouldn't go to prison. After they died he stopped going to probation & said middle sister above turned him into crime stoppers for the $500 reward money! So my dad ended up in prison for a little over 2 years. After he got out of prison he lived in my grandparents house with no running water & electricity until the house had to be sold because the 3 siblings (all on the deed) couldn't come up with $1,000 a year for property taxes...

My dad's youngest sister blamed herself for my grandmother (her mother's) death in 2001. She was killed in a car accident when coming back from the feed store buying feed for my aunt's horses because the were out. She went a bit crazy & also ended up an alcoholic at the age of 47.

My dad died in 2011 (he was 61), my youngest aunt in 2012 (she was 51) & my middle aunt in 2013 (she was 62)!

My dad's parents were married but when they were younger (like from their 20's to their late 50's) screamed and fought like crazy but calmed down & enjoyed each other's company as they got older.

My mom's parents were also married until my grandfather passed away in 2012. Their marriage was one for the storybooks! Married at 17 & 19 loved each other so much and were happily married for 63 years.

[rosesandpetals]

A 1. I haven't spoken to one of my brothers or my parents in years -- 5 years? I don't even know for sure.

My aunt basically raised me and I love her to death but there is quite a bit of conversation maneuvering and question avoidance. She has a very specific idea of what it means to be successful and can be really critical of things that seem normal to me. For example, she had an issue with me having kids before I was 30, she thinks people with student loans are lazy, etc etc. I just do my best to side-step those conversations.

[joenali]

2. My parents have been divorced for over 20 years. They come together for all of our life events. We all get along and I feel like there is little to no dysfunction.

[cabbagecabbage]

3 or 4. My parents divorced when I was teeny but it was for good and they were amicable in raising us. My mom's nutty but "fun crazy" and dad is distant but loves us in his distant way. My sister and I bicker about some things but love each other and stay close. My marriage is quite happy. We are human and it ebbs and flows but we're in love and it's good. Dh's side is 5-6. They have some drama from the past but they pretend everything is fine and play nice while DH kind of hates his mom but has written her off. It's sad. My family would look worse from the outside but we'd fight it out, cry, and end up making peace.

[Deleted]

I'd give my immediate family a 5 and my extended family an 8. DH's family is one of those sneaky ones - they look wonderful to the outside world, and behind closed doors are some of the most BSC people I've ever encountered. I'd give them a 10. And bonus points for keeping up a really good public face so they don't end up on Jerry Springer.

[erbear]

1 or 2. Everyone (my family and ILs) has their quirks but for the most part, everyone gets along, there's not much drama, and everyone likes each other. We celebrate holidays all together.

[momin2013]

Mine would be a solid 1; I'm very grateful for that.

[jnksmom]

I would say a 3 or 4. My parents are still happily married. My siblings and I get along most of the time. My brother married very young and is divorced and remarried. My brother's 2nd wife is dramatic and there has been some issues between her and my parents which caused issues with my brother too. My sister and I are pretty close though. Her husband is a good guy and gets along with our family. My extended family (especially on my dad's side) is really close and we all get along really well.
My STBXH always got along great with my family as well. It kind of sucks that of my 3 siblings 2 of us will be divorced but oh well. Life happens.

[Deleted]

Dh's family, like a 3. My extended family a 2, more immediate family a 5.
Dad is gone, weird step relationships, but my mom, brother and I are all doing really well and best friends. We're averagely screwed up. :0)

[dizzycooks]

Maybe a 5 or 6? Dhs parents are truly special pieces of work but they are married and have good intentions. My parents have been divorced 30+ years and we rarely speak to my brother at this point. My mom doesn't speak to her brother and I've never met him or my cousin.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I'd say a 3. Dh's parents are happily married. His extended family is huge and the only 'juicy' stuff from any of them recently was all the 21+ year old cousins got together this year for a cousinpalooza, a weekend basically filled with drinking, and one of them, who wasn't even drunk, got annoyed and told off some of the others.
My parents are divorced, but there wasn't really any drama with it. They are fine to both be at functions for the kids, although it is a little awkward. My mom isn't close with her sisters, so we don't see them often, but when we do, it's completely civil. Oh, but my dad does have a brother who was disowned from the family. I have a few vague memories of this uncle of mine being at family holidays when I was really little, and I was deathly afraid of him for some reason, but then seriously he was disowned and never spoken of again. I guess that's a bit Springeresque. So that might bump us up a bit, but since it happened SO long ago and is seriously never spoken of, it doesn't create any current drama.

[mamaalysson]

My family is unquestionably a 1, thank goodness. My parents have been married for 34 years, happily. I have one brother. He's a little bit of an oddball, but we love each other and get along well.

DH's is a little further into crazy town, but everyone still loves each other and (more or less) gets along. So...5?

[penguingrrl]

A 1. My parents are divorced and I haven't spoken to or heard from my dad in years, but I also haven't considered him family in years (or, really, ever).

My mom is in an incredibly happy long term relationship with an amazing man. His two kids are happily married each with one kid (I consider them step siblings), my sister is very happily married, my brother is single but happy, my ILs are happily married, one SIL is happily married with kids and the other is happily single.

[Alyssa]

My family is pretty close and we respect each other.  My brother however is very distant and very private, I only see him on birthdays and holidays.  Thanksgiving will be the first time I will have seen him since June for my mom's birthday and we live in the same town.  I don't understand our relationship to be honest.  We never had a fight or anything but he is like a total stranger to my immediate family and I.  When we are together, we're fine but we never ask how we're doing or ever discuss anything remotely personal.  If you do, he gets visibly uncomfortable and deflects the question or mumbles a one-word answer. 

My husband doesn't like my brother for how he's so closed off and seems to avoid us.  You know I'll hear my brother stops by my house when I'm at work to see my two kids, my mom is there watching them.  He makes sure to be out of there by 5 when my husband and I get home.  It's just odd.  He NEVER calls to ask about the kids, I couldn't even tell you the last time he even called me.  Again, we NEVER had any sort of fight, he and I are like born strangers.  At this point, I really don't even care to ask him how he's doing....we have no relationship.



My husband's side can be on Jerry Springer.  My FIL is nice however he's in some sort of a cult-like religion which has him totally consumed.  He's been giving the church thousand's of dollars and he pays $$$$ for classes that he's in all the time.  It's not Scientology, but it's up there in weirdness.  If you dare question his spending, then he goes in for a heat reversal and acts like you are attacking the church.  My husband is frustrated because he does the books for his dad's business and he's watching his father run the business into the ground.

My MIL...I don't know where to begin with her.  She owes me a huge apology which I'm still waiting for.  Last week she said I can fuck off when she was in the middle of yelling at my husband.  She called up my mom and dumped on her about stuff we never did or said to her. She then later called back and apologized and said she was going to apologize to me too.....I haven't gotten a call yet. Because of this blow-up, she was uninvited to Thanksgiving.  She is also denying that she tol me that I can fuck off. 

Honestly if I never saw her again, I wouldn't be sad.  She's toxic and I and drained with her and her antics.

[jensriot]

My family is probably a 10. My uncle was convicted of vehicular manslaughter for killing his buddy while driving drunk. He's pretty normal now. My aunt was murdered in a crime so awful they just did a Snapped episode on it. My other aunt left CA in the middle of the night with her toddler to move to our state (20 yrs ago) because the father was getting out of prison. That toddler just finished a couple years in prison for armed robbery (to buy more heroin).

My mom had an affair, left my dad and married an extremely abusive man. I was told to "call him Daddy or don't call him anything at all." I've been to counseling over that entire shit show.

I have a cousin that's a skinhead, another two (brothers) that are homeless and addicted to who knows what (both in and out of jail), another cousin that disowned her mom for favoring her other grandchildren (whatever) and no one knows where she is...i can go on and on. It's a wonder I'm so well adjusted...sarcasm because I've had a bunch of therapy and take medication for anxiety.

It was a rough childhood, but I think I'm actually breaking the cycle. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked out for other family members.

DH's family is the most normal, loving, supportive group. I'm in awe of how much they trust and can count on each other. They have sibling rivalry and little drama, but nothing compared to what I grew up knowing.

[momin2013]

Damn, jensriot. I'm sorry, that sucks. It's so amazing that you're breaking the cycle, though.

[jensriot]

Nov 23, 2015 16:22:06 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

Damn, jensriot . I'm sorry, that sucks. It's so amazing that you're breaking the cycle, though.

Thanks. I don't know how successful I would be without DH. I'd like to think I could've done it without him, but I don't know. He encouraged me to go to counseling, he's my safe place and understands my anxiety more than anyone should.

[jag01]

jensriot I admire your resiliency. You should be proud of yourself that you are breaking the cycle.

[jensriot]

Nov 23, 2015 17:01:33 GMT -5 jag01 said:

jensriot I admire your resiliency. You should be proud of yourself that you are breaking the cycle.

Thank you.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

My Dhs family? 1. My dad's side of the family? 1. My moms side? 48486366822540879682