Am I overacting?

[dd1204]

My husband has had friends over for the last 2 nights. He had friends over till 1am last night and tonight they came around 5:30 and are still here. Yesterday I told him I really didn’t want people over because I had to clean, which he ignore. Well today he sent me a text telling me his friends are here. I told him that I really needed to clean and start prepping for Thanksgiving, so please make sure they leave before I get home. Well I got home at 7:30 and they were still here. He feels I’m overreacting and that he should have the liberty to have people over without running it by me first. I really wouldn’t care if it was just one friend but is five guys taking over my family room and kitchen. Do you run it by your spouse before having people over?

[ElizabethBennet]

I have made it abundantly clear to my husband that he is not to drop guests on me at the last minute. I'd be livid.

[Deleted]

Sounds like he better get the house ready for Turkey day.

[MarmeeNoir]

No

[vanillacourage]

Heads would roll. 

[elleblue]

Not overreacting, especially because you have a major holiday to prep for; ignoring your reasonable request is ridiculous behavior on his part.

[my3boyz]

Fuck that, start running the vacuum cleaner right in front of them, especially if its the same group of guys. He won't do it again. Just sayin...

[lilac05]

Not overreacting, especially since it's the week of Thanksgiving & it sounds like you're hosting,

My H and I run all company by the other person. The only exception is if I have impromptu play dates when he's at work. 99% of the time, it's just a common courtesy. On rare occasion, the answer will be "not tonight."

[sallywalker]

I believe you all know my H. I will see my way out of this thread.

[knx9211]

Well hopefully they leave soon because he has to clean the whole house by himself now.

[tulips]

It's a major holiday week. We are not hosting, but I'm scrambling to get things ready for us to go out of town. I'd be pissed if he did this two nights in a row and dismissed my feelings.

[RoxMonster]

Absolutely not overreacting. Not only would I be pissed about him bringing people over without running it past me first AND disregarding your (totally reasonable) request to not have anyone over tonight BUT it's also right before a big holiday. HELL NO.

DH would be responsible for cleaning the whole damn house once his guests left. AND/OR I would just start cleaning right over top of them. "Oh, sorry didn't know you were still drinking that mostly full beer" ::pours beer down the sink::

[mekia]

So rude.

[dd1204]

Nov 24, 2015 22:16:19 GMT -5 my3boyz said:

Fuck that, start running the vacuum cleaner right in front of them, especially if its the same group of guys. He won't do it again. Just sayin...

I really wish I had it in me to do that. I'm in my room almost in tears because is an ongoing problem with us. 

[adhdfashion]

Not okay at all.

[eb777888]

Welllll.....I'd be pissed. If I told H, hey, I'm getting ready to host so please don't have people over and he did anyway? That's just rude and disrespectful.

[ginandjucie24]

Not okay. To be in almost tears over this is not okay. He is being rude.

[bugandbibs]

Time to start handing out the cleaning products.

"I'm so grateful everyone came by to help me clean! He's the toilet brush- you can start in the bathroom." (Said brightly of course.)

[nomad100]

Oh hell no! While my first inclination would be to tell everyone to get the hell out of my house, I would likely go all passive aggressive and start cleaning around them and slamming pots and pans around in the kitchen.

[Aquatica]

Not ok, you're not overreacting. When you're married, you need to consider your partner's feeling since you now share your life and space with them. It's disrespectful to you that he isn't taking your thoughts and feelings into consideration.

I hope you're able to kick his over staying guests out.

[ciescalove]

Nov 24, 2015 22:34:14 GMT -5 eb777888 said:

Welllll.....I'd be pissed. If I told H, hey, I'm getting ready to host so please don't have people over and he did anyway? That's just rude and disrespectful.

This. It's a dick move on his part and I agree with everyone else that he would now be doing the cleaning.

[dd1204]

Nov 24, 2015 22:30:28 GMT -5 mockingbird said:

Not ok at all and I'd be expecting him to be doing allllllllll the cleaning once they left.

If you always tell him no to friends, is day that's a different issue entirely. But you have a totally valid reason to want an empty house right now!

I don't always tell him no to having friends over. I just ask that he lets me know before he tells people is ok to come. 

[mcmel]

Are you going to ask him to clean the house or is he going to get away with being a douche to you?

[tictac]

The rule in our house is "if you want company, you prep the house for it."

So if DH wants to invite people over with no notice, it's on him to get the house "company ready" and vice versa.

I mean, we obviously clean on a regular basis and don't live in filth, but I'm not about about to do the Hail Mary "company's coming!" cleaning for people he invited over last minute.

[pixy0stix]

Time to hand out the cleaning supplies and tell them to start working.

[pixy0stix]

Oh, well dammit, I see my brilliant idea was already covered.

[killercupcake]

Very few things made me more angry than when H would invite people over with zero notice to me.

H no longer does that, thank god.

You are not overreacting. Your H is acting like a dick. And so are the friends. Who stays over until 1 am on a weeknight and then returns for round two the next day?

[mountaingirl]

I would have no problem telling the guys to hit the road. Tell them you have to start getting ready, see you next time losers. Bye

[sparkythelawyer]

Oh hell no.

Start cleaning. Start doing everything you need to do. Loudly.

[flex]

So his disrespect to you is an ongoing issue?