Let me preface this by saying I'm not sure what we should do.
DH's cousin just messaged me to let me know her son has a mild case of HFM. That she's thinking of bringing him to Thanksgiving dinner with family. She said her doctor said it should be fine as long as she notify's all parents and stresses hand washing and sanitizing toys. He has blisters on his hands but doesn't have a fever.
DD had a mild case last year very similar to his except she didn't have blisters. We didn't know what it was even after a trip to the doctor. Unfortunately it was too late and she gave it to a few of the kids. I felt like absolute crap because some got it really bad even though DD had no blisters but had a low grade fever. We know it was her because a friend of ours let us know shortly after that her son had it when DD was around him. I know that even if a child has a mild case it doesn't mean another will have the same reaction.
Now I'm not sure if I be that overprotective mom or say f it and go. What would you do in this case? I really don't like being in this position tbh especially with all the 'extra' requirements now around him. He and DD are only a few months apart and often play a ton together.
When she sent the message she said she 'may' bring him but after reading more it reads as though he'll be there and she's just notifying people. She's truly a nice person and I am supposed to do her maternity photos while at the celebration. I just feel like we're put in the position of having to make a decision that I don't want to make. Also I don't know if I have much of a say given this is DH's family. I'd feel bad if I kept him or her from the big family celebration )usually around 30 people.
My older one has gotten it twice a year since he was 2. It's the one thing he will always catch if someone in his class has it. It is annoying bc they have a fever for a few days and cant go to daycare or preschool.
How old is her kid? Will your kids be playing together? How many kids all together are going? I mean I probably wouldn't bring my kid if they had HFM. It sucks but its just what happens when you have kids.
That's incredibly inconsiderate of her. If she has a sick kid she should be the one staying home, not you. Idk what I would do.
Honestly this is how I feel. If the child had a cold, I wouldn't really care as much. But given that it's confirmed HFM and hasn't gone away. I just feel like they should have made the decision to keep him home instead of now putting that on other parents to make the decision.
My older one has gotten it twice a year since he was 2. It's the one thing he will always catch if someone in his class has it. It is annoying bc they have a fever for a few days and cant go to daycare or preschool.
How old is her kid? Will your kids be playing together? How many kids all together are going? I mean I probably wouldn't bring my kid if they had HFM. It sucks but its just what happens when you have kids.
Her child is 2 months older then DD both are around 2 years old. They are the only children around that age so they primarily play together.
If it was us there would be no second guessing I'd stay home with DD and have DH go because I just wouldn't want to be responsible if someone else got it. I felt like crap when kids at her daycare got it and we didn't even know she had it. I'd feel even worse if I knowingly put others in that position.
Post by autumnfire on Nov 26, 2015 10:07:46 GMT -5
I sent back to her that I'm sorry her son got it and explained that Anastasia had a mild case but other kids who got it, it was rather bad for them. I then asked her if he's still contagious as she did ask if we're even still going to the dinner.
Post by water*drop on Nov 26, 2015 10:07:50 GMT -5
We're skipping two Thanksgivings because we've all got bad colds and have had fevers within the past 24 hours, so I'd obviously err on the side of keeping my kid home with HFM. I think it's really inconsiderate of her to bring him. If I were you, I guess I'd stay home because we don't have enough PTO to knowingly expose ourselves and our kids to HFM. I'm sorry. That whole situation sucks.
Post by autumnfire on Nov 26, 2015 10:09:04 GMT -5
Well at least I feel validated in how I'm feeling right now. Thank you ladies! I'm going to tell DH he can go but that DD and I will have to stay behind.
I've had several doctors tell me that kids with HFM should not be kept home, and are fine doing normal activities (including being around other kids) as long as they are fever-free for 24 hours. I wouldn't expose a young infant or immunocompromised kid to a kid with HFM, but normal healthy kids should be fine if you practice basic hygiene precautions.
Damn it I wanted Turkey lol and to see his family!
Not that it's a big deal but it'll be the first time they'll see us since we announced our pregnancy.
Why can't she can be the one to stay home?
And if your H does go can he bring you a plate home?
I wish she just made that decision to stay home honestly. I feel it's unfair that we now have to make this decision. She did mention to DH that he had HFM I think yesterday but I figured aww that sucks he's going to have to stay home. The thought never crossed my mind that she'd come with him until I got her message.
I will likely ask H o bring home a plate for us both.
I've had several doctors tell me that kids with HFM should not be kept home, and are fine doing normal activities (including being around other kids) as long as they are fever-free for 24 hours. I wouldn't expose a young infant or immunocompromised kid to a kid with HFM, but normal healthy kids should be fine if you practice basic hygiene precautions.
So now I have to spend most of the time monitoring what he touches vs what she does and sanitize her every time she touches him or things he's touched? Basic hygiene is one thing... having to shadow your kid to ensure they aren't touching his blisters or he isn't touching her is a bit much. Especially when the doctor said make sure to sanitize toys after he's played with them and to wash hands a lot... That sounds like a fun time for all.
And if your H does go can he bring you a plate home?
I wish she just made that decision to stay home honestly. I feel it's unfair that we now have to make this decision. She did mention to DH that he had HFM I think yesterday but I figured aww that sucks he's going to have to stay home. The thought never crossed my mind that she'd come with him until I got her message.
I will likely ask H o bring home a plate for us both.
Can you ask her to stay home? Maybe she doesn't realize how contagious it is?
Post by autumnfire on Nov 26, 2015 10:37:33 GMT -5
DH's parents are going to take care of it. He has a Great Aunt and Uncle who are 92 and 94 they are worried about them getting it.
Edit his father just called back and said cousin is messaging me back. I've already told DH if she's going I'm staying home with A and I hope he respects that. I have zero energy right now to shadow her around for 5 hours. It's just easier to keep her home and entertained.
Post by autumnfire on Nov 26, 2015 10:41:21 GMT -5
This was her message back to me "We figure with just two little ones at Thanksgiving we can keep them somewhat apart and take precautions. If it makes you uncomfortable let us know."
This is making me mad. I would not be going if they go. I am honestly not sure if I would want H to go. He could end up getting it and then bringing it home to you guys.