Further adventures from xh's therapist

[1confused1]

I finally told her, after multiple emails a day and her requesting that I come in again to discuss why I'm angry, that I am happy to answer questions about our past relationship, but that is the extent of my involvement.

Then she emailed me letting me know that he doesn't understand why we divorced (in 2012!!!!!) And asked if I could explain it so she could help him understand.

I'm speechless.

[jellymankelly]

This is a dumb question, I realize, but you're 100% sure this is his actual therapist, right? Because this doesn't sound anything like what a therapist should be doing...

[cuddlyevil]

This really seems like it's over stepping her boundaries.

[1confused1]

Nov 29, 2015 21:10:55 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

This is a dumb question, I realize, but you're 100% sure this is his actual therapist, right? Because this doesn't sound anything like what a therapist should be doing...

Well, she's a certified marriage and family therapist and she knows a lot about him and his history.  But she has clearly overstepped her bounds and I'm not sure why, this seems to go beyond taking care of her client.

[Deleted]

Wow, I'm sorry that she keeps contacting you. That's just beyond inappropriate, IMHO. Her job is to help him deal with his thoughts/feelings/beliefs after the breakup, without reference to you. Your XH needs to deal with the fact that it's over, and dragging you back into it to explain is just crazy! I hope BOTH the therapist and your XH can just move on now and leave you out of it.

[doriswe]

Honestly, I think I would let her know she's crossing boundaries and you will no longer participate in anymore of this nonsense. This smacks of a less than professional relationship between them.

[bl]

She is ways over stepping her boundaries. I'm sorry she's putting you in this position.

[1confused1]

Nov 29, 2015 23:18:30 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Honestly, I think I would let her know she's crossing boundaries and you will no longer participate in anymore of this nonsense. This smacks of a less than professional relationship between them.

Any idea how I could word an email saying this? I was just not going to respond anymore.

[mrsukyankee]

I am a therapist and I'm in shock about this.

Email: Dear therapist - it is not my job to help my Ex deal with his emotions and understanding of the divorce. YOU are the therapist and it is your job to help him work through this, including his uncertainty. Ex and I are divorced, our relationship is over and so is my responsibility toward him. Please do not get in touch with me again.

1confused1

[Deleted]

This is incredibly bizarre. I have nothing else to add really but agree you need to send that email. Also is she certified by any board or anything? Because I would consider reporting her.

[doglove]

Nov 29, 2015 23:18:30 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Honestly, I think I would let her know she's crossing boundaries and you will no longer participate in anymore of this nonsense. This smacks of a less than professional relationship between them.

All of this.

[winecat]

So bizarre. She is acting completely inappropriate.

[glitzyglow]

Wow. How odd and intrusive.

[bg]

Definitely not ok.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Is he sleeping w his therapist or in some sort of dating relationship w her ?!?

In any event, she WAY overstepped her boundaries. You are divorced ! He needs to put on his big boy pants and deal with it - ON HIS OWN !!- with his therapist. Grrr

It's my fear, that I'll have to deal w the same should xh ever go the therapy route - why ? I went to rehab !! Why doesn't she want me back ??

[1confused1]

Nov 30, 2015 14:36:48 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

 

It's my fear, that I'll have to deal w the same should xh ever go the therapy route - why ? I went to rehab !! Why doesn't she want me back ??

That is exactly what is happening I think.  I'm sorry, xh, that it took you almost 4 years to decide to get help, but I've moved on and I'm not looking back.

[sparkythelawyer]

Nov 29, 2015 23:24:24 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Nov 29, 2015 23:18:30 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Honestly, I think I would let her know she's crossing boundaries and you will no longer participate in anymore of this nonsense. This smacks of a less than professional relationship between them.

Any idea how I could word an email saying this? I was just not going to respond anymore.

Dear Fucking-Idiot-Therapist.

Please be advised I am no longer married to that-effing-dipshit-you-are-treating.  I am not available to participate in his care.  Please do not contact me further.  Any continued attempts to reach out to me will force me to take action with the state agency that regulates your profession.

All the best,

Person who is over this shit.

[jojoandleo]

Dear therapist,

    There are several reasons why we divorced, however, none of them are pertinent to his mental health treatment. It is not my job to help him move on. Please do not contact me in the future regarding my XH's treatment.

Regards,

Go fuck yourself.

[jojoandleo]

And if you really want to be a bitch, maybe throw something in about how you feel her discussing his inability to move on is a breach of his privacy and possibly her code of ethics as a therapist.

[1confused1]

You guys are awesome

[1confused1]

Thanks again everyone. I sent her an email with your suggestions, I hope she understands it.

[1confused1]

Dec 1, 2015 22:29:19 GMT -5 @gracie6414 said:

Nov 30, 2015 22:35:29 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

Thanks again everyone. I sent her an email with your suggestions, I hope she understands it.

Is she part of a practice? I'd also contact the managing partner to inform them of this breach on confidentiality and incredibly inappropriate and harassing behavior.

She *is* the practice.  I can not figure out how xh found her, she mentioned some clinic or something.

Luckily, I haven't heard from her since I sent the last email :-)