If marriage had to be renewed annually, do you think

[cuddlyevil]

My goal with my next marriage is to do it with someone I would renew with.

[MixedBerryJam]

I'm glad annual license renewals are not a requirement because if they were I think I know the exact year that I wouldn't have renewed the first time. That was a helluva year. Toddler, new baby, international move, perimenopause and male-pattern assholishness. A bad, bad combination.

[clseale]

Nov 30, 2015 6:35:54 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

I'm glad annual license renewals are not a requirement because if they were I think I know the exact year that I wouldn't have renewed the first time.

This was my first thought. I am 110% yes on renewing, but I can recall a phase early in our marriage when I wouldn't have renewed. So thankful it wasn't an actual thing, because it would have been the worst mistake of my life.

[NothingWrongwithOhio]

We'd put our marriage on auto renew, if there was such a thing. (I'm already thinking about the logistical nightmare marriage renewal would create. It would be different on a state by state basis. Would you renew in the state you got married? In the state you're living in? This is why I do what I do.)

But there are days I feel like everything is flying to pieces, like my life is a tapestry and I'm desperately trying to hold on to all of these unraveling threads and my H is the only thing that's anchoring me. I know everything is NOT flying to pieces (somehow this makes those days even harder, KNOWING that I'm being crazy), but even on those days that I'm most irrational, I never doubt our marriage.

[cajunmom]

Yes. There has only been one year when I would have had to think about it at all.

[knx9211]

100%. But we would have only had to renew once so far, so...

[fernweh]

No. There were definitely a few really hard years early on that I wouldn't have wanted to renew.

[pegasuskat]

I've been married for 31 years, and I admit there were a handful of years I'd have said no. But, overall more yes than no so I guess I'm glad that's not a thing. Its to easy to walk away sometimes, no need to make it even easier.

[BaliHai]

Yes, but if this were actually a thing we never would have made it out of 2012. Weird to think about!

[cjcouple]

Yes. We had some really trying times over the years but never did my love of my dh waiver.

Our commitment to each other is probably the only thing I ever really counted on being strong. I honestly can say that alone pulled us through.

Job losses and all the financial ramifications of that (which were great). Family sicknesses and loss etc. We had much despair but we stayed as strong as we could.

[karenj]

We are in a really bad spot now. The last 5 years actually. I am sure that I would not renew and I am sure my H wouldn't either.

[Kit]

My first marriage would not have lasted as long as it did.

My current marriage, I'd renew

[frkls]

Nov 29, 2015 21:29:24 GMT -5 freedom said:

Yes, my marriage is the easiest part of my life.

this is what i was thinking.  i guess, technically, he is the source of all the bullshit in our lives but we are better as a team than we would be if i left.  usually, our marriage is worth the bullshit.  

[anyastroud]

Yep he's a keeper.

[arch01]

Probably not. We've had a few rough years. We're in a so-so year right now.

[missmaddie]

Absolutely.

[Deleted]

LOLOLOLOL! Nope. I would have been out of there at the one year mark.

[tictac]

Definitely. We've been married almost 6 years (together for 10), and we've got a good thing going between us.

It sounds totally cliché, but DH and I really are BFFs. Obviously, we sometimes fight/have days where we annoy the crap out of each other/both need "me time"... but idk, most days we both still look forward to getting out of work just so we can hang out and do stuff together.

[ladystardust]

Yes, this has been a more difficult time for me right now (toddler and newborn) and I am more easily irritated by him as a result but I would still absolutely renew. Past years would have been an easy yes.

[girlscout]

Absolutly!

[litebright]

Definitely.

I think back on all the relationships that DIDN'T work, and even the ones that worked for awhile, like a year+ and then fell apart and which made me wonder how I'd ever really know that I could be with someone for years and years and years and still have it work. And this does. Really, really well; for both of us; the vast majority of the time. We've been married more than 10 years, together more than 11, and we're still happy to be with each other.

[okla]

Nov 30, 2015 0:39:30 GMT -5 agnes said:

Nov 30, 2015 0:16:26 GMT -5 okla said:

Your avatar is similar to a pic I've used for different profile pics/avatars before and lately I've been scrolling by thinking you're me. In this post, I was like, "What? I'm not even married, why did I post in here?"

This is the pic. I think it's the glasses and car selfie that throw me off. 

ETA: I'm too dumb to post pics from my phone apparently. 

maybe you're my doppelgänger.

Maybe. But it might just be the glasses. 

Attachments:

[Deleted]

I just texted DH and he responded right away "Absolutely we would still be married" with a heart.
then he wrote "at least in my opinion we would be"

[WOT?*]

There are and were times I'd say no, because of the burdens I've put on him with the kids (and now grands) and my personal insecurities, but as a general rule we've been very good together (as in "he's been very good to me and for me.")

Note: I haven't read past page 2 so if this got off topic anywhere between pages 3-6 I'd like to make my disclaimer now.

[jojoandleo]

I have no idea. It would force us to actually talk about our current issues, though. I know ** would want to renew, I am not sure H would.

[Deleted]

Now that we have a kid definitely. I don't want to single parent.

There were a few years in the beginning I may have taken an easy out though. "Oh damn. I forgot to file this. I guess we're single again!"

[RamblingRose]

Nov 30, 2015 6:25:01 GMT -5 cuddlyevil said:

My goal with my next marriage is to do it with someone I would renew with.

Yep. We have joked about handfasting for a few years at a time.

[cbwm1]

100% yes. We make a really fucking awesome team and even during some minor rough patches, we're still a strong team together.

Plus, he makes me laugh a lot.