Anyone else have a problem spending money?

[mbcdefg]

This is a random brain fart, but join in if you feel so inclined.

I've been browsing websites today for Christmas gifts, but I just can't pull the trigger on anything. I keep thinking, "Is X really going to *use* this? What if (s)he doesn't like it and doesn't bother returning it? What if I can get it for a better price another day?"

I had a funny Christmas sweater for my party in my shopping cart and then thought, "Why do I need to spend $15 on something I'm going to wear once?" I hate buying clothes for myself. I went to look for boots this weekend and nothing would zip around my big fat leg.

Consumerism bothers me ... I hate buying things because I keep thinking of it just taking up space, I hate knowing that most things are manufactured under crappy conditions, and I hate that my choice is either Buy A Bunch of Low-Priced Sweatshop Items or Buy Only One Fair Trade Item Because It's All Too Damn Expensive.

It's especially tough shopping for my mom and H for Christmas, since they didn't ask for anything specific. My mom bugged us kids for lists and then when we asked what SHE wanted she just asked for new smoke alarms and won't add anything else to her list. MH keeps insisting that he wants nothing. Now I find myself looking for random crap for them just for the hell of it. At least my siblings have specific requests that I know they will use.

Bah. Anyone else?

[v]

The impossibility of finding gifts that are thoughtful and useful is why I'm incredibly happy that both of our families give us wish lists. Takes the surprise out of giving, but at least I know my gift is something that is wanted. My husband's uncles tend to buy us random crap and to me it is way worse than not getting a gift. I have to feel bad that I'm immediately donating the gift or throwing it away because I have no use for it (examples: stress balls; a book called "Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats").

Even better than wish lists? Last year my family decided that instead of giving gifts to everyone, we'd do a Secret Santa with a price limit (and with wish lists provided).

Even better than Secret Santa? It is still up for vote but I think this year my family is not doing adult-to-adult gifts.

I brought up the "Wouldn't it be nice if we did a Secret Santa so we each only bought for one person?" question at Thanksgiving with my in-laws, after my MIL complained about how much work it is to buy gifts for everyone, particularly because she will no longer use credit cards because she thinks her identity will be stolen. Nope. She doesn't like Secret Santa and wants us all to spend lots of money buying gifts for everyone. Sigh. But I'm not lifting a finger on that -- my husband can do all the shopping for his family.

I have tried to figure out if I can sincerely request that none of my husband's family members buy me anything for Christmas because really, the only thing in the world I need is less clutter.

[raangoli]

Yes, this happens to me all the time. MH and I both do this - we go shopping in "rounds". The first is to see if there is anything we like. If we find it, then we take note and move on. Then we come back another time, after keeping tabs on the item and evaluating whether we really need it. If we decide we really do, then we keep a look out on the best deal and then purchase.

It's partially time consuming, but this way we don't end up with things we don't need and if we do get it, it's bought smartly.

As for gifts, we only really buy for our niece/nephews and get gift cards or consumables for our parents/siblings. It's much better that way. My mom also got on board with this last year - she got us consumables and so I hope she does it again this year. Although I'd much prefer nothing at all.

[Mashara]

Normally, yes.

But evidently I lost my mind on Thanksgiving, because I've spent over $1200 since then. Half of it is clothing for us that I would have bought anyway. The rest is either for the house or stuff off my Christmas shopping list (specific things for specific people). But even though it's all PLANNED, I'm still 50% over what I thought I would spend.

[jerseyjaybird]

We are like this most of the time, and then we'll go on a spending bender. We're on one now, and we REALLY need to stop.

[irene adler]

Yes. I hate gifts--the waste, the pressure, the expectation, the awkward moment where you wonder if you should have gotten someone something/not gotten them anything, I hate hate hate it, and hate feeling like a stingy asshole because gifts are not my love language. I think this is my hill to die on.

OTHO, I enjoy gift exchanges because they level the playing field.

[raangoli]

Nov 30, 2015 14:47:26 GMT -5 irene adler said:

Yes. I hate gifts--the waste, the pressure, the expectation, the awkward moment where you wonder if you should have gotten someone something/not gotten them anything, I hate hate hate it, and hate feeling like a stingy asshole because gifts are not my love language. I think this is my hill to die on.

OTHO, I enjoy gift exchanges because they level the playing field.

Unless you're Sheldon Cooper and they stress you out.

[drloretta]

We (DH) went totally overboard with DD's gifts this year, and all I keep thinking is more crap to find room for. I have everything I need and more, so I keep window shopping and buying nothing.

[BeagleMama]

Yes, I enjoy buying for my niece and nephew but for my adult family I really dread it. BIL/SIL have agreed no gifts between them and us - thank goodness! I've now resorted to buying everyone books. I'm not going to drive myself crazy trying to think of something different each year. Hopefully the rest of DH's family will come to do the dark side with SIL and myself and stop this gift buying. I'm all for secret Santa or a dirty gift exchange but I don't need to buy more stuff!

[megstoo]

This is me this year. Normally I don't have a problem but this year I just can't pull the trigger on ANYTHING (gifts or other). I bought myself a much needed purse from coach on black Friday- with all the discounts I got a brand new purse for $50 and the sticker on it was $295. Yet I'm having buyers remorse on it.

I need a new leaf blower for the house since DH broke ours yet I keep going no I can just rake it all by hand and save the $$.

Many things I'm buying this year are edible since I know people don't NEED x,y or z. My dad who is so hard to shop for is thinking of selling his house next year so the last thing he needs is more crap - he's getting a candy box of candy from the 50's and 60's. Completely unique and I know he'll eat it.

[AAM2012]

Nov 30, 2015 14:39:14 GMT -5 Mashara said:

Normally, yes.

But evidently I lost my mind on Thanksgiving, because I've spent over $1200 since then. Half of it is clothing for us that I would have bought anyway. The rest is either for the house or stuff off my Christmas shopping list (specific things for specific people). But even though it's all PLANNED, I'm still 50% over what I thought I would spend.

This is us. Normally I never spend anything but I've spent at least $2k on house stuff in the last 30 days. I even splurged on DH and bought him a $300 watch this morning because...you know..ebates!

[Pom]

I have moments of "I simply can't pull the trigger". Today was not one of those days. I am almost finished holiday shopping and I was NOT able to convince the family to draw names. Oh well. We all agreed to hold it to a minimum...LOL.

[Deleted]

Nope! At least, not this year.

As an aside, mbcdefg, I blame you for a recent desire to own brooches. I got sucked I tot he blog you recommended; Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor and now want to wear brooches like her majesty. So thanks :-)

[steph96]

My problem isn't spending money--I have no troubles with that. My issue is finding gifts. The worst is my husband's family--they do secret Santa and we always get stuck drawing the name of someone that we don't talk to. We drew my H's cousin's wife and her daughter. My H asked his cousin what was on their wish list. He said "Amazon gift card and android App Store gift card" and provided no alternatives despite our questioning. What's the fun of just exchanging gift cards? Can you not name something that you would spend that gift card on? Surely you have something in mind.

[daisyn]

Nov 30, 2015 13:53:59 GMT -5 @crackhabit said:

hahahahhahhhahhahahha




no.

This was my first thought

[mbcdefg]

Nov 30, 2015 17:58:57 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Nope! At least, not this year.

As an aside, mbcdefg, I blame you for a recent desire to own brooches. I got sucked I tot he blog you recommended; Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor and now want to wear brooches like her majesty. So thanks :-)

Lol! I bought a brooch for my wedding but never wound up using it.

I actually bought some stuff online after this post. (I went to Nordstrom Rack before that but that but walked out empty handed.)

I'd feel better if I had a good idea for MH this year but I'm stumped.

[joenali]

I'm glad that my mom's side of the family has decided no gifts. We just get together and have a nice dinner. On my dad's side we just buy for one person. On dh's side, we buy for one person. It's easy. I don't understand buying gifts for every single person. It's too much money and is it really going to be a thoughtful gift?

[kadams767]

Honestly, it's kind of hokey and probably the opposite answer you are looking for, but whatever. LOL. DH and I try to focus on buying quality stuff when we do buy things and taking care of them to make sure they last as long as possible, and have found that it brings us way more pleasure to spend a bit more for one item than less for several. I feel better about limiting the consumerism in our household, and this way, we also always have plenty of stuff on our wish lists for holidays and birthdays that we can pick from and still surprise one another. We cut back on buying stuff throughout the year to sort of still "preserve" the joy of exchanging gifts, so to speak. We don't have kids, so it would be kind of a bummer for us to not gifts for each other or our small extended family. We never wanted to fall into a pattern where gifts were a chore or we felt we were just buying more crap for each other and other people, so we mostly agreed to save thing for our Christmas/birthday lists, like when we were kids. I grew up without much money and Christmas and birthdays were the only times I really got new toys or clothes, so it was always special. I kind of like continuing with that feeling (though obviously not to such an extreme, we do still buy clothes and stuff throughout the year if we need them).

[Mashara]

Nov 30, 2015 16:21:17 GMT -5 megstoo said:

I need a new leaf blower for the house since DH broke ours yet I keep going no I can just rake it all by hand and save the $$.

Yeah, no, you NEED to buy one. I got one this spring, and I swear it's still the best thing I bought all year. I shredded and bagged all the leaves myself this spring. Wouldn't have managed without a leaf shredder/blower. Think it was $90 on Amazon. I also splurged on a nice electrical cord.

[aurora]

H finally convinced me to let him buy me a pair of skis for Christmas (it was way more $ than I wanted him to spend).

Then he went ahead and ordered a pair for himself at the same time. So, do I get to count that as my gift to him?

[sju]

This time of the year is stressful and I hate it.

I have a close family member who told me that she buys random gifts throughout the year and then figures out who to give them to. Unfortunately, I am one of those recipients and when she gives me gifts she makes it a point to tell me how cheap she got it for. That is how I have a bunch of crap I have donated or have hidden in the closet. Sounds terrible but I would rather not get a gift at all.

I do like buying for my kids though.

Is it January yet?

[Deleted]

Kind of but my problem is that I'll do that for a while and then start binging which I feel is a worse way to handle it.