What stupid things did you do while trying to reconcile?

[1confused1]

We separated multiple times and then would get back together and try again.

I should have just pulled the plug after I found out about the drugs and cheating, but I wasn't ready.

[bg]

At the beginning of stbxdh's mental health issues I used to do random things to try to raise his spirits. Thinking back, I knew very very little about what was going on and nothing that I could have done would have/will help him. He has to do it himself.

Also, just all of the walking on eggshells when I was with him because I had no idea what was going to be a trigger.

[jojoandleo]

Continued to sleep with him. "Believed" his lies. Stayed living with him "as roommates" and tried to be friends. I put "Believed" in quotes because I always knew he was lying, but just was in denial, pretending I didn't. It was, like, if I didn't have definitive proof he was lying, I had to believe him. Even though his lies were totally ridiculous. (A girl sent him a framed professional boudoir photo, and they were "just friends." The emails he received, responded to, and that responded back from adult friend finder were spam.) I also searched his email and his phone to find definitive proof.

I should have dumped him and moved the fuck out right then and there. Why did I try to be friends with a lying, cheated dillhole, I will never know.

OH! And I cyber stalked Boudoir photo girl. She moved here for him after I moved out.

[jellymankelly]

Moved across the country with him, to a place where he apparently already had yet another affair lined up. We were supposed to be there temporarily for his job, but I had to leave to come back home early so my son could start school...which I guess made it open season for XH. The OOW (the other-other-woman, because there wasn't just one) claimed she was with him for 3 years, but at the time she claimed that, he and I had not been separated more than 2.5 years, so they had to have known each other before we moved there. Water under the bridge, though. My kids and I had a lot of fun the summer we lived there, my life is freaking fabulous now, and XH and I get along great and co-parent better than we did when we were married. No regrets.

[glitzyglow]

I let him do whatever he wanted for the most part and told myself he wasn't lying (he was). He came and went when he pleased, and he didn't help with anything, but I put up with it thinking he would magically change back into the guy I knew and loved if I just stuck around. When the OW told me they were still together despite him telling me they weren't it finally clicked for me...1 year after me putting up with his bullshit under the guise of reconciliation.

[jigsy]

I knew the marriage was just not working, for a number of reasons, but I stupidly decided to put all the blame of the failure to the fact that we had too different of schedules...not really true at all, but I wasn't ready to admit that we just didn't work.

So I quit the job that I had been working toward for a year and became a flight attendant - What a waste of 8 months and major career setback. I will tell you what - that there experience made me really hardened to the idea of changing my life for anyone in the future. Sorry future husband, hope you don't need to move for your career if it means me experiencing difficulty in mine. LOL.

[pinkdutchtulips]

I stayed with him even though it was painfully obvious that he did NOT want to give up his meth addiction !!

He talked me out of 1 RO the end of July, he didn't talk me out of the 2nd one which I DID get

I had ZERO desire to reconcile with him period. If he wants to be a meth addict fine, but he doesn't get to take DD and I down THAT road.

[glynn]

I believe him in 2010 that his friend was just a friend even though I found text to the contrary. In May he told me I was unhappy which was a true statement but I never said that. Within 3 days he was telling a co-worker he loved her. He is now text 2010 friend and co-worker. I should have left in Nov 2010. I have wasted 5 good years....

[cuddlyevil]

I believed him when he said he'd do better but never followed through.

[melloyello]

Tried doing everything he wanted of me, but it was never quite right. Convinced myself that him staying out until the wee morning hours every single weekend night was my fault. Stalked his phone even though I knew he had his secret app. Boy did I try my damndest to break into that app.

[itsalllies]

Ugh most of these sound like me.

[Linie]

I tried to avoid making him angry. Didn't work of course...

[brooke77]

Hmmmm. I convinced myself that the unhappiness in my marriage was just a phase. Even though it was years. "All couples have ups and downs". To combat the unhappiness/loneliness, I obsessively exercised/lost weight. I also dreamed of having a baby to feel less lonely. THANK GOD I never did.