here is my go at your budget. I didn't know what your SL payment was so I guessed. And I didn't even really "push" that hard. With this budget at the very least you have $700/month left for paying off your credit cards. Start with the one with the lowest balance, pay it off next month. Then pay off the next one, then the next one, etc. Here is a great spreadsheet to help you www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2008/08/26/free-debt-snowball-spreadsheet/
rent 1750 cell 160 car insurance 151 cable 220 electric 120 gas 15 trash 14 water 30 gym 50 charity 60 netflix 8 cc min 580 PL min 450 SL 500 car 400 fun money (each) 200 groceries 400 eating out 200
total 5308
Thank you so much. Seriously.
Thank you everyone that has responded. I truly appreciate it.
and since CC don't work for you, I'd do the cash system for your variable expenses (food/fun/etc). When you decide on a set budget I would take the rest out of your checking account each month and either immediately pay off debt or transfer it to another account to be used to pay off the debt. If it's just sitting in your checking you'll be tempted to spend it (speaking from experience). I know it seems like a lot, but it really isn't and I think since you have a lot of smaller amounts of debt you'll be able to see progress very quickly. Good luck!
ESPP is great for forced savings. Are you on 6 month cycles? Do you get 15% off the purchase? Can you use all the ESPP money after selling it the day you get the stock for debt?
I do get 15% off, but we cannot sell for a year. It is availible for withdrawl the day after sale.
My comment about being serious about change had to do with your lack of efforts to REALLY change. There is wanting to change and doing the hard work to actually make changes in your relationship with money and your out of control behavior. Nobody can keep you from shopping and overspending, nobody can get you to live on a budget, nobody can pay off your debt. This is up to you to be serious enough about your goals to actually do what it takes to reach those goals. One motivator - post a picture of your goal(s) on your refrigerator (or somewhere highly visible so you see it daily) - a cute house, a darling baby, a $$ savings balance . You get there one step at a time, one decision at a time. You CAN do this. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step backward , but you pick yourself up and redouble your efforts. Consider this your kick in the butt to get moving in the right direction. Set goals and also give yourself a reward for reaching them. You do not have to deprive yourself of all spending or pleasure on this journey, just be sensible. Post updates - weekly or monthly - etc if you need accountability.
I think the point about spending money because you grew up poor is very astute. I grew up poor and I like to spend for those same reasons. If I can buy something, that means that I have money and I am therefore secure. If I can't buy things, that means that I am poor and things are not ok. It doesn't matter if I can't buy things because I made a $1k extra payment on my car or I'm saving for a trip to Europe (which should make me feel more secure!). My brain doesn't work that way. All I know is that it feels good and empowering to be able to afford things, and it feels scary to have to go without something I want, because I used to have to go without things all the time. Also for me, shopping is about power and control. It makes me feel adult and competent, like I'm the one in charge, when I buy expensive items. Maybe some similar things are going on for you.
I like spreadsheets and planning. I get my power and control kick by managing our money well. And I give myself a generous entertainment and fun budget to keep my debt payoff on track. Total deprivation will never work for me.
Also, try doing things that are incompatible with spending money. Fill your weekends with volunteer work. Plan game nights with friends. Go on nature walks with your friends or H.
Post by ellipses84 on Aug 27, 2012 21:46:33 GMT -5
I can relate to so much of your post. Our income and bills are about the same, but we have higher SLs and car debt and no CC debt. We have had substantial CC balances in the past and I promise you it will be such a relief once you pay them off. We still are not the greatest savers and l have felt like how the heck are we making six figures and practically living paycheck to paycheck!
I think your situation requires drastic measures like the no credit cards/cash envelope system. If you can differentiate needs from wants, you will pay down your debt fast. I suggest you stop shopping for a while and send your DH to the store with a list. If you have to go shopping, take a look at your cart before you pay and put stuff back and return impulse buys. That will be a PITA and hopefully help you realize you don't need these things. I started doing gift cards for everyone this year because I was always having to shop for gifts, buying other things I didn't need or getting lots of little gifts for people that added up to way too much.
Post by dr.girlfriend on Aug 27, 2012 22:00:16 GMT -5
I would just pop in to say that I disagree with one thing...given the crazy differences in the rates of your credit cards, I would pay off the highest rates first, not the lowest balances. I know sometimes knocking off small balances can make you feel successful and stick with it, but in this case I think it'll make the most sense to knock off some of those 20%+ cards, especially since it sounds like they are smaller balances anyway.
Are you deliberately not saying what the personal loan was for? If so, that's fine.
OP, I was thinking about you last night and this morning.
You've gotten a lot of good practical advice in this thread, but I think most of it will be worth nothing to you. Because as you know, you don't have a practical/intellectual problem; it's the emotional side of things that is out of hand. I'm not knocking the PP's advice, but I had an eating disorder for 10 years, and no amount of practical advice helped me at all. I knew I should eat, that I should keep binge foods out of the house, that I should take extra care of myself in situations where I was likely to starve myself or cut. That I couldn't be trusted with razor blades around. But none of that really helped.
I do think it's good that you posted, because it helps you take a comprehensive look at what your behaviors have done to your financial life. I think there's value in that.
I think the most helpful thing we can maybe do is ask whether you think you are in a good therapeutic relationship. Does the therapist seem qualified? Does he/she have a good grasp of your problems? Do you trust him/her, and/or are you working on building trust? Does this seem like someone who has a plan for how you will get better? Too many women -- too many people -- are completely passive in choosing a competent therapist, and just show up and sit in the chair and hope they've gotten someone good. You have hired this person to help you out of your problems, and it's imperative that you feel confident that you're working with the right person. I wish you the very best of luck.