when would you announce?

[simpsongal]

We told our folks last week that we were seeing an RE b/c we had been TTC for a year w/no luck.  The apt was supposed to be Tuesday and surprise - BFP!  We want to tell our folks right away about our happy news!  Honestly, if things don't go well, I'd want their support so I'm cool w/telling early.

DS's 2nd birthday party is Saturday.  It's just family and 1 couple (our best friends who know we've been struggling).  I sort of wanted to surprise everyone at the party.  DH thinks we should tell our parents privately (so his folks Friday, and when mine arrive Saturday).  He doesn't feel strongly either way.

WWYD? (assuming you were cool w/sharing early).

[Jalapeñomel]

We told our families, because I wanted to be able to talk about any loss if that happens. Other than that, we've only told really close friends, again so that if we do suffer a loss, we have people to confide in.

[luv2rn4fun]

We have told quite a few people already. Everyone was such a huge support with out losses and when I was pregnant with C. I would want support again if something were to happen.

Not sure what the best strategy is (we just called everyone). Does your DH want to tell privately because one or both sets of parents might prefer that? Or not wanting to make a big deal at your DS's bday? Seems like you can do it either way and it's really NBD...whatever works best for everyone.

[simpsongal]

Feb 4, 2016 12:44:40 GMT -5 luv2rn4fun said:

We have told quite a few people already. Everyone was such a huge support with out losses and when I was pregnant with C. I would want support again if something were to happen.

Not sure what the best strategy is (we just called everyone). Does your DH want to tell privately because one or both sets of parents might prefer that? Or not wanting to make a big deal at your DS's bday? Seems like you can do it either way and it's really NBD...whatever works best for everyone.

He didn't have a compelling argument either way.  IDK....I'm torn.  I sort of imagined a fun moment at the party. We said we'd talk about it again and sleep on it.

 

[simpsongal]

Feb 4, 2016 13:02:16 GMT -5 @stilljustash said:

i would tell parents privately beforehand, and then do a cute little announcement at the party. win/win.

How did this not occur to me!? 

[Mrs.flang]

Congrats! We had a similar sitch in that we were scheduled to start IVF and then, surprise! We announced pretty early to immediate family because it was Christmas and a perfect opportunity.

I like the idea of telling the folks separately so they can have their little private time to celebrate. But I don't think you can wrong either way!

[Raggedeannie]

I took advantage of opportunities to tell people in-person when I had them - our BFP was not too long before the holidays so we were able to tell people at Thanksgiving/Christmas even though it was on the early side. Congrats!

[Susie]

I would tell them ahead of the party. If it were Christmas, Easter, or some other "neutral" holiday like that I'd be fine with "announcing," but I wouldn't do it at someone else's birthday. A new, long awaited person is super exciting, and seems kind of unfair to J to announce when his 2nd bday is the one day this year that should most be about him (although he probably wouldn't understand, I'd still feel that way).

But then, I'm not an "announcer" in general. We told most of our closest people by phone. I can still hear the words coming out of my mouth (we told my parents 2 days after my BFP). It was still special.

[tarajane]

I think the party sounds fun! Only because your son is 2 and won't really get it. If he's like mine, he would enjoy all the excitement.

[cabbagecabbage]

Congrats!!! I'd personally wait but don't judge you for doing what feels right. After our loss, we waited and told family after a heartbeat was confirmed on ultrasound both times. Just our preference after a bad first time cluster of family telling others and then not untelling them.

[speyedr]

We always told our parents right away. After our m/c we waited until after a first u/s to tell any other family. My first pregnancy was a m/c and it was nice to have their support, it happened right in the middle of all our our IF testing. Pregnancy two was a TTTC and IUI pregnancy. Pregnancy three was a huge surprise at only 6 months postpartum. .

[knx9211]

I have no issue with sharing early. My thought is, it took a while and medical intervention to get pregnant. I've never been pregnant before. Anything could happen tomorrow, but for now I want to celebrate it with the people I love the most.

I'm 5 weeks tomorrow. We told our parents the day that I tested positive. We told our siblings this weekend. I've told one friend at work because she's had to listen to mea bout all of my IVF appointment. We'll probably tell our nearest and dearest.. no more than 10 people.. within the next couple weeks.

I figure, these are the people who I would want there for me if anything happened. I'm not going beyond that for a while.

[simpsongal]

To close the loop, we decided to tell our folks privately before the party. No big party announcement. I think it worked well - that way we could actually talk to each set of parents about it w/o a party atmosphere and whatnot. It would have been fine either way. But I think both sets of parents liked the 1-on-1 time to hug and chat and whatnot.

My dad's reaction was sort of annoying (to paraphrase: "I assumed you were PG b/c you were sick after Christmas"...um, wasn't pregnant then, remember, mom told you last week we were struggling...).

[winemaker06]

Dads are weird. My dad's first question was, 'I guess you're trying for a girl?' Um, already pregnant and can't choose so no...?

Glad it worked out telling everyone! Sounds like the best of both options.