Let me tell you about my damned week.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Monday, I had to call 911 because the carbon monoxide alarms were going off and I threw the dogs in the yard and the cat in the car and was stumbling around, sure I was being poisoned, so my ILs showed up and shot the shit with all the firemen and they found out the alarm was going dead.
Plus my other cat (Ghost) was at the vet, since he's been suffering from a UTI for 2 weeks and was refusing to pee for them.  He nearly had to stay the night.
Cat that got thrown into the car (SwaggerCat) is getting old and decrepit and has gone Skeletor (nothing wrong with him, just an Old) and I've had to start giving him baby food because I can feel all his bones and I feel bad.  I also had to buy him baby spoons and spoon-feed him and H thinks this is all ridiculous.
I have so, SO much schoolwork to get done by the end of this week.  I have to papers to START and finish, an exam to take, a few more things I've blocked out.  I need to get everything typed up and submitted for my internship.  I need to fill out all the paperwork for Cambria's kindergarten registration next week (OH GOD).
I need to plan this fundraising event for the board I'm on, plus I need to talk to everyone and get the other 3 fundraisers set up, plus plan for our huge ceremony that will be 2 weeks after the fundraising event.
I have managed to replace about half my wardrobe over the past month and my entire bedroom is a clothing EXPLOSION.
A client at work has suffered a family tragedy and super needs me.
***
So I'm in the shower this morning, and Ghost starts SCREAMING yelling.  And licking his rear.  And hissing at us.  I'm hoping H can just get some more pain meds while he's at work, because I've GOT to go to work today to be with my kiddo.  H can't take the cat to the vet - the cat is freaked out by anyone but me, even under normal circumstances, and he'll never be able to catch him if he's already agitated.
I get to work and call the vet, and they nicely say, "Girl, you know better.  If he's blocked, he can't wait until afternoon, he needs to come in now."
I rush around, yelling, THIS IS THE MOST STUPID EXCUSE EVER, BUT I HAVE TO LEAVE BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE MY CAT TO THE VET, I'M SO SORRY.  Luckily one of the aides has a cat who has also nearly died of a UTI and knows how quickly they can turn near-fatal.
I rush the half hour home.  I catch the cat.  I rush the half hour to the vet.  Ghost screaaaaaaaams the whole time we're in the packed waiting room, very clearly yelling, "oh NOOOOOO, go HOOOOOOOME", and everyone is giggling at how OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING and yelling with him SHUTUP YOU BUNCH OF CHUCKLEFUCKS.
The vet takes him back and he is NOT blocked.  They can't figure out why it's suddenly so painful for him to go, so they're going to keep him for the day and give him some muscle relaxer and see if he'll pee.  They think maybe he's strained his penis.

Strained his motherfucking penis.

[knx9211]

Omg I didn't know that could even happen. I'm sorry about your shitty week and even more sorry that I'm laughing at the idea that your cat strained his penis.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

To be fair, they didn't ACTUALLY tell me he strained his penis, they just think he strained 'something down there' while straining to go. I'm just going with penis because I'M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT.

[MixedBerryJam]

Yikes. The scardest I've ever been as a cat owner was when one of mine had a blockage. I've never heard the kind of shriek he made, before or since. But you did the right thing leaving work, even if he's not blocked. Also, one of my cats was on baby food for a long time, and I always felt bad only buying baby food meat and baby food veggies and never baby food fun things like pears and always had to explain this to the cashier. But she lived a long time on baby food.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Feb 5, 2016 11:15:29 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

Yikes. The scardest I've ever been as a cat owner was when one of mine had a blockage. I've never heard the kind of shriek he made, before or since. But you did the right thing leaving work, even if he's not blocked. Also, one of my cats was on baby food for a long time, and I always felt bad only buying baby food meat and baby food veggies and never baby food fun things like pears and always had to explain this to the cashier. But she lived a long time on baby food.

His scream was NOT normal this morning.  He always screams (that's how he got his name - when he was a half-feral kitten he used to find the tiniest places to hide and would scream unseen for days).  I could tell he was hurting.

I got all self-conscious when I was buying the baby spoons (because omg, this cat) and accidentally told the cashier that THIS IS FOR MY CAT, YOU SEE, HE'S OLD AND FRAIL.

[bcv513]

You are good people ombligo. I fed my diabetic cat baby food for a couple of years. It was always embarrassing to buy twenty cans of beef baby food

[MixedBerryJam]

Feb 5, 2016 11:18:35 GMT -5 Ohhmm(bligo) said:

Feb 5, 2016 11:15:29 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

Yikes. The scardest I've ever been as a cat owner was when one of mine had a blockage. I've never heard the kind of shriek he made, before or since. But you did the right thing leaving work, even if he's not blocked. Also, one of my cats was on baby food for a long time, and I always felt bad only buying baby food meat and baby food veggies and never baby food fun things like pears and always had to explain this to the cashier. But she lived a long time on baby food.

His scream was NOT normal this morning.  He always screams (that's how he got his name - when he was a half-feral kitten he used to find the tiniest places to hide and would scream unseen for days).  I could tell he was hurting.

I got all self-conscious when I was buying the baby spoons (because omg, this cat) and accidentally told the cashier that THIS IS FOR MY CAT, YOU SEE, HE'S OLD AND FRAIL.

LOL. I did NOT spoon feed her, but every damn time I bought some I told the cashier it was for a cat and if I had a baby of course I'd let her have fruit and desserts.

[Deleted]

I'm really sorry you are having a rough week but I am literally crying at my desk because I'm trying so hard to stifle my laughter in my open office.

ETA - to clarify, I'm laughing about your cat potentially straining his penis, not that you are having a rough week.

[kermit]

I did the baby food thing with my cat too - the meat ones are $$$. He liked the lamb but it was hard to find.

[malibu]

What a shitty ass week. But you tell it so well that I can't help but LOL.

[mcsangel2]

Wow, I'm sorry for Ghost. I really hope they find out what is wrong with him. I'm a huge kitty lover and I would do anything for mine. DH and I haven't vacationed together for 2 years because we can't leave our oldest cat alone. She's 20 now and she gets meds every day and a vet tech comes to our house twice a week to give her sub q fluids.

All the stories about giving cats baby food makes me feel better. I have resorted to giving it to her sometimes (your Skeletor has nothing on my girl) and I always got the impression that OMG BABY FOOD IS SO NOT GOOD FOR THEM YOU SHOULD ONLY GIVE IT IF THEY REALLY REALLY WON'T EAT ANYTHING ELSE.

[jellymankelly]

I read that whole post in horror, because what an awful week! But then I got to "strained his motherfucking penis" and nearly choked on my lunch. I'm so very sorry about your cat's penis. Also, I'm sorry that I can't stop laughing about it.

[vicky]

omg.
i can't even make a penis joke because i feel so bad for you.

[Deleted]

I'm reading this in line at the dollar store and I'm feeling so bad for you and then I started giggle snorting and everyone thinks I'm crazy. I'm sorry about your cats penis.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Update: He's back home. They have him fluids and muscle relaxers and he was able to pee on his own for them. He's on muscle relaxers and a pain-med-that-also-relaxes, ie "kitty Xanax".
As further evidence of my crappy week, I showed up without my wallet. But they didn't care, they'll just add it on for next time.
*sob*

[blondemoment123]

I'm sorry you had a rough week, but I lost it at the last sentence.

[sapphireblue]

I'm glad he's home and feeling better.

I had a favorite cat and the last few years of his life, eating was a challenge. I did baby food and really, anything I though he would eat. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that there was a food I got that is specifically for cats that are having trouble eating. It's Iams Maximum Calorie. I would buy that and sometimes use a large food syringe and put some in his mouth. Might be something to try if baby food isn't enough.