I have let my Ds taste a sip of wine because he was curious. His dad let him taste a sip of beer as well. He thought they both tasted gross. I said, "Great! Remember that!"
If Uncle Johnny offered my hypothetical kid wine behind my back at a family gathering and the kid was 19 and drinking it I wouldn't be up in arms about it. But I don't think I'll be the one to pour my kid a glass until they're 21 since it's illegal. My parents didn't offer me alcohol and I don't think it's necessary to function in society, so I'll stick with the law.
ETA: This doesn't mean I wouldn't be realistic with them and let them know they can call me if they are in an unsafe drinking or drug situation.
yes, we have given my kid the option. we also didn't make a big deal over her calling for a ride home from a party. she's a good kid, and we trust her.
we just made fun of her endlessly when she was hung over the next day.
I want to say I will, because my parents did that we me at that age (and a little younger) as part of a way to teach me moderation and a healthy relationship with alcohol.
That said, I think feelings on this have changed A LOT in the past 15 years, and I wonder if will still be as socially acceptable to do so in the next 15 years.
I don't have children but my parents let me have the occasional glass of champagne at a wedding (twice that I can think of) and when I was 20 I was allowed to have a couple drinks at my dad's big 50th party.
I imagine that if I have kids, I'll be the same way.
Yes. My parents started giving me wine spritzers when I was about 12 at major family dinners out of crystal glasses. I felt so fancy. By the time I was 16 I would have a glass or two of wine with dinner if we were staying in on a weekend evening.
I live in Canada though and grew up 20 minutes outside of Quebec where the legal drinking age is 18. My parents wanted to expose me to alcohol themselves in a controlled environment where I could learn proper respect for alcohol. We also drank beer and cocktails at the cottage and I can remember my first drink of whiskey with my Grandpa.
I have no issues with introducing alcohol to DD in a similar fashion. Also I was probably one of the few of my classmates at university who had no interest is binge drinking and who also had unfortunately expensive tastes in wine.
We were tacitly allowed to drink once we were in college. My parents didn't buy us alcohol or anything, but coming home (with a designated driver) while mildly intoxicated wasn't a big deal. I think we had cocktails several times at family parties as well.
Well the legal age is 18 where I live so I definitely don't have a problem with drinking at 18. DD is only 4 so I have a lot of time to think about it but I could see us allowing her to have a small glass of wine at home on special occasions starting in her mid teens. I feel that being overly strict about alcohol just makes it more illicit and subject to abuse when I'm not around to watch.
If Uncle Johnny offered my hypothetical kid wine behind my back at a family gathering and the kid was 19 and drinking it I wouldn't be up in arms about it. But I don't think I'll be the one to pour my kid a glass until they're 21 since it's illegal. My parents didn't offer me alcohol and I don't think it's necessary to function in society, so I'll still with the law.
You're in the states, right? Because it's actually not illegal in the majority of states for a child to drink on private property with parental consent.
My son is almost 24. I didn't offer him alcohol before he was 21, although he's been on his own pretty much since he was 19. I'm not adamantly against it, but it's not something I really encourage.
My dd is 14 and ask me about drinking a daquari because most of her friends ages 14-16 are drinking. I told her I'm not comfortable with her drinking but when she turns 16 she can have a glass of wine for special occasions.
If Uncle Johnny offered my hypothetical kid wine behind my back at a family gathering and the kid was 19 and drinking it I wouldn't be up in arms about it. But I don't think I'll be the one to pour my kid a glass until they're 21 since it's illegal. My parents didn't offer me alcohol and I don't think it's necessary to function in society, so I'll still with the law.
You're in the states, right? Because it's actually not illegal in the majority of states for a child to drink on private property with parental consent.
I looked it up before when living in Philly and it isn't legal there as of now. I do live in nyc now, maybe it's legal here. But I plan to move back to Philly eventually, so that was my reference.
It's definitely not my hill to die on or anything, but I don't really see the point in regularly offering my kid alcohol at family events, so I doubt I'll do it.
Also, my mom (when she was still not right in the head) was absolutely convinced that drinking Shirley temples or smoothies was "pretend drinking" and I was not allowed to have them. Soda was fine. Soda with grenadine would apparently lead to lifelong alcoholism. *eye roll*
yes, we have given my kid the option. we also didn't make a big deal over her calling for a ride home from a party. she's a good kid, and we trust her.
we just made fun of her endlessly when she was hung over the next day.
H & I have differing opinions as well. SS is 20, he's been drinking since senior year of HS. I don't endorse or like it. H doesn't think it's a big deal.
I'm not opposed to a glass of wine at dinner for a holiday or special occasion though.
Probably not. Alcoholism runs in the family and we will have some pretty serious discussions about moderation and alcoholism. We don't keep alcohol in the house (DH doesn't drink and I only drink socially/out of the house), and I can't put the liability on someone else by allowing my underage child to drink at their house.
yes, we have given my kid the option. we also didn't make a big deal over her calling for a ride home from a party. she's a good kid, and we trust her.
we just made fun of her endlessly when she was hung over the next day.
she turns 21 in a few months. HOLY SHIT.
My mom was the same way. We, or our friends, could always call at any time for a ride with no questions asked. Once we graduated from high school, she was not going to get on our cases about drinking at a party with friends, but aside from the occasional glass of champagne or wine at holidays, she didn't supply us with alcohol until we were legal. I wasn't allowed to just crack open a beer in the house at 19.
Over 18, absolutely. I haven't decided where my comfort level is, but I have zero qualms at 18. I remember being so confused when my cousin who was living at college wasn't "allowed" to have a beer at her sister's wedding because her mom might see. COME ON. I think I was 19 at that wedding, and I remember even my dad rolling his eyes at it (he was going to the bar and had asked us what we wanted. lol).
My parents aren't big drinkers at ALL. I *rarely* saw them drink outside of big family get-togethers, so it wasn't like I drank all the time at home. But my parents treated me like adults from the day I turned 18 with stuff like that.
I don't have kids yet, but I can't imagine having a problem with allowing a 20-year-old to have a glass of wine.
My family mostly only drinks on special occasions-weddings, milestone birthdays, etc. It's not a religious thing, they just aren't into it. I was around 14 when I was allowed to start having a glass of champagne or a wine spritzer at these events.
If my non-drinking family didn't have a problem with it, I'm guessing it's not that much of a big deal.