Post by snipsnsnails on Feb 9, 2016 14:59:55 GMT -5
For all of you that said you had a sinister feeling and then, later, found out they had done something terrible, do you wish you would have done...I don't know what...something?
I ask all of this because I met someone in October - I actually met his wife first. We were having a perfectly lovely conversation and then her husband came over and I immediately felt a sense of dread, darkness, creepiness, just, I don't know, something very, very wrong. It wasn't anything he said, it wasn't anything he did, it was the moment that he walked up. It just came over me. I haven't been able to shake it since. The couple is new to the church I attend, so I see them once a week or every other week. I've never talked to him since the first meeting; I actively avoid him because the feeling I go was so strong.
I don't usually get strong feelings about people. But I did have an adult male relative by marriage who used to kiss me on the lips (like, hello and goodbye), and it made me uncomfortable. His daughter later accused him of molesting her.
snipsnsnails , in that instance, I don't think so. That's terrible.
PDQ. A coach in my middle school who I did not have as a teacher was always inappropriate with me and a friend of mine. My sister and a few friends also got the same vibe. There were lots of things but the worst one with me is he pulled me into an empty classroom and told me my shorts were too short. I told him they were below my finger tips and he knelt down and ran his hand up my inner thigh in my shorts and said he could see the curve of my thigh.
We brought it up to the principal and were shot down because he was head of the FCA (Future Christians of America) and a great guy, etc. He's all over the news right now for raping a 15 year old. He was still a teacher. In this instance, I wish I had done more, followed through, something. I feel so terrible for that poor girl.
I'm so sorry for everyone that's been violated by a creep before. Heart breaking.
For those that easily get these feelings, is there any way to get better at judging character in others? I hate that I'm far too gullible when it comes to people like that.
Not in a super distinct gut feeling way, but I never bonded with my Evil Aunt the way I did with my other family members. Even as a kid I steered clear. As a teen/adult, I was actively weirded out by her, even though I couldn't put my finger on what was making me feel that way. Just something in her mannerisms, the way she talked to us... gave off that psychopath vibe. Or maybe just extreme narcissism.
When it came out that she'd slept with my husband, it uncovered this whole backstory of alcoholism, drugs, abuse, etc. The rest of the family started comparing stories of weird/fucked up shit she'd done over the years, and it painted a really nasty picture. None of the younger generation ever had a clue.
I'm so sorry for everyone that's been violated by a creep before. Heart breaking.
For those that easily get these feelings, is there any way to get better at judging character in others? I hate that I'm far too gullible when it comes to people like that.
Honestly the biggest "skill" if you will is tuning into your inner signals. When I was young my dad always told me to listen to my inner voice that told me something was wrong. I think a lot of people - girls especially- are sort of trained out of listening to that signal detector in favor of being "nice". I have a pretty highly tuned gut backed by the confidence to trust it.
Not in a super distinct gut feeling way, but I never bonded with my Evil Aunt the way I did with my other family members. Even as a kid I steered clear. As a teen/adult, I was actively weirded out by her, even though I couldn't put my finger on what was making me feel that way. Just something in her mannerisms, the way she talked to us... gave off that psychopath vibe. Or maybe just extreme narcissism.
When it came out that she'd slept with my husband, it uncovered this whole backstory of alcoholism, drugs, abuse, etc. The rest of the family started comparing stories of weird/fucked up shit she'd done over the years, and it painted a really nasty picture. None of the younger generation ever had a clue.
Jesus!! I have a creepy uncle I've avoided my whole life. He's never done anything specific but he's a weirdo and I feel no obligation to let him be one to me.
Post by lexxasaurus on Feb 9, 2016 22:36:44 GMT -5
Yes. There is a guy at my gym that gives me this feeling, and at one point he grabbed my wrist (which is full of braided bracelets) and said he wanted "a gift" from me. :/ I've seen him since and hope I gave sufficient bitch face because I want to avoid him for the rest of ever. The second I caught him staring at me it just gave me this intense anxious feeling.
I've had it with other people too and it's never lessened over time.
One time. We had a NYE party and my best friends little sister brought a date. I didn't know the guy, he made my hair stand on end as soon as he walked through the door. He kept trying to play board games with my SDs, they were maybe 8 and 9 at the time. I kept taking the games away from the dining table into the other room so I could play with them. It was totally rude but I really didn't care. The second it turned midnight I said it was time to go and kicked everyone out. I never saw him again (little sister always had a new guy so I guess she moved on). I have no idea if I was right or not.
I'm so sorry for everyone that's been violated by a creep before. Heart breaking.
For those that easily get these feelings, is there any way to get better at judging character in others? I hate that I'm far too gullible when it comes to people like that.
Honestly the biggest "skill" if you will is tuning into your inner signals. When I was young my dad always told me to listen to my inner voice that told me something was wrong. I think a lot of people - girls especially- are sort of trained out of listening to that signal detector in favor of being "nice". I have a pretty highly tuned gut backed by the confidence to trust it.
Lately a guy I used to work with as a teenager was found guilty of murder. I always thought he was a great guy. Nothing every felt 'off' to me. It's really made me wonder if I should have felt something not right about him or not.
Honestly the biggest "skill" if you will is tuning into your inner signals. When I was young my dad always told me to listen to my inner voice that told me something was wrong. I think a lot of people - girls especially- are sort of trained out of listening to that signal detector in favor of being "nice". I have a pretty highly tuned gut backed by the confidence to trust it.
Lately a guy I used to work with as a teenager was found guilty of murder. I always thought he was a great guy. Nothing every felt 'off' to me. It's really made me wonder if I should have felt something not right about him or not.
Some people are really really good at covering it up. I don't claim to be a superhero. Just tuned in when I DO get a feeling. My mom is a horrible person but people / strangers love her. She's fine on the surface, but is definitely a narcissist, probably a sociopath. She fools erbody.