Hugs Brie. I'm sorry you have something else added to your plate. You are a great mom and your kids are lucky to have such a proactive protector. Information is good. I hope the evaluations set your mind at ease at least.
I have no advice but want you to know how much I admire you. C and P are such lucky little guys. You're amazing. Hugs. I'm sorry the sis another thing on your already full plate.
((Hugs)) I think that a lot of what you described can be normal behaviour for that age but I also think that it can't hurt to do the testing. Fingers crossed that it rules anything out.
C's teacher pulled me aside at his class V Day party. She thinks he needs to be formally evaluated by the school therapists. A few things she mentioned:
Hugs, Brie. You certainly don't need anything more on your plate right now. I'm glad you signed for the eval just to bring more clarity to the situation. You ignore the concerns of a highly qualified and experienced teacher at your peril.
Are the behaviors new since starting at the therapeutic preschool/DC? Or was he always Did he have age appropriate friendships at the previous DC? Could he have picked up behaviors from kids who have behavioral health conditions or developmental delays?
1. He seems to be a sensory seeker. He is always going, has trouble sitting still and completing a task. She has started including him in the class "sensory breaks" like jumping on a trampoline and using a wiggle seat already. I have noticed this too--he is a total tornado, rarely sits still, will almost never play with a toy for more than 5 minutes at a time. His favorite activities are crashing into things, play falling over and over, and stuff like that.
That does sound like a sensory seeking presentation of SPD. I wonder if having access to all kinds of sensory input is creating a temporary up-tick in this behavior because it's more easily available and pleasurable for him. If it is SPD, a sensory diet and activities can go a long way to improve his ability to have appropriate behavior when it's required of him. Maturity helps a great deal, too.
Does he play with toys appropriately, like driving cars or building with Legos? Do you ever see him hyperfocus on an activity like a puzzle or figures or something? Does he have imaginary play that not scripted? Do he plays cooperatively with peers in school or with you at home?
2. His fine motor skills are not where they should be. Frankly, I think they're fine, I think he just doesn't want to sit still and concentrate enough to use a fork or trace letters.
OT could work on these. A lot of kids his age aren't "into" seat work and handwriting; this would be more of a concern if he was closer to 5 and headed to kindie soon. The fork thing? IME, well developing kids don't "choose" not to perform adaptive skills like self feeding. If he's not doing it, it's because he can't for some reason.
3. He is unusually attached to the teachers in the class--not in a clingy way, but that he would rather chat with them than his peers.
This is a concern. This, along with DS's advanced language skills, was a red flag for his presentation of ASD. Has he not made a connection with other kids in the class? One of the downsides to being a peer model in a class where the other children are not "satisfying" as playmates. Is he frustrated because they don't have the social and emotional maturity to engage with him so he's relying on the adults in the room?
4. He stopped napping at home and school. Apparently he is disruptive during nap and just wants to climb and jump all over his cot.
Gah. Not many kids his age are napping and I bet he's bored. Can they find a quiet activity for him. Let him use a tablet? If he does end up getting IEP services, maybe they can work with him during the time when others are napping.
5. He's academically super advanced, very talkative and friendly. So that's good.
Mine, too.
How advanced? is he reading and doing arithmetic? Is he bored with the academics?
I gave the okay to get the ball rolling with an eval but fuck. I'm at my max with P already. I can't do this. She mentioned possible SPD and/or ADD/ADHD.
Good luck. Remember whatever information you get-
1. He's still your terrific bright kid.
2. The more information you have, the more appropriately and effectively you can parent him.
I was in such shock I forgot his bag of valentines at school too. MOTY.
Are the behaviors new since starting at the therapeutic preschool/DC? Or was he always Did he have age appropriate friendships at the previous DC? Could he have picked up behaviors from kids who have behavioral health conditions or developmental delays?
He has always had the sensory seeking behavior. He's a daredevil. I always joke that being his mom is like owning an German Shepherd--if you don't run him daily and give him mental stimulation, you'll be sorry.
Does he play with toys appropriately, like driving cars or building with Legos? Yes, although he sometimes prefers alternative play. Like his favorite thing to do with his play tent is not to play house or whatever, but knock it over and smash it to see it bounce back up and stuff.
Do you ever see him hyperfocus on an activity like a puzzle or figures or something? Not really. He likes a lot of different things.
Does he have imaginary play that not scripted? Yes
Do he plays cooperatively with peers in school or with you at home? Yes, though not at his new school yet. He had lots of friends at his old school and talks about them a lot still.
The fork thing? IME, well developing kids don't "choose" not to perform adaptive skills like self feeding. If he's not doing it, it's because he can't for some reason. Hm. Interesting. He does self feed, he just prefers to eat with his hands still.
Has he not made a connection with other kids in the class? Not yet.
One of the downsides to being a peer model in a class where the other children are not "satisfying" as playmates. Is he frustrated because they don't have the social and emotional maturity to engage with him so he's relying on the adults in the room? I think this might be it. He's extremely verbal and many of the other children have language delays. He is the type who always needs a response when talking, so I can see how he would be frustrated if they're not responding quickly enough.
How advanced? is he reading and doing arithmetic? Is he bored with the academics? Not yet, but he's not 3.5 yet and can sound out beginning sounds of words and tell you what letter they start with, do simple math problems (if I have one ball and you have one ball and I give it to you, how many do you have? type stuff) and has a huge vocabulary.
The academics seem about what you would expect from a bright 3 1/2 who has been in a quality day care program. I would be more concerned if he was reading and doing more math reasoning as that can be a red flag for ASD- and with the sensory piece/preference for adults/rich vocabulary it could be an issue. I'm sure you teacher would report that as part of the eval team if she had a concern.
I hope you get some answers and a plan to help him.
J's teacher raised the issue of a speech delay about 6 months ago and although we had seen a bit of what she was talking about at home I was still taken aback. After much discussion and a visit with the pediatrician we decided to get him evaluated because in the end what's the drawback. It turned out that his speech was normal, but the good thing we got out of the evaluation (beyond peace of mind) was some great tips from the evaluator on ways we could work on the issues we were seeing.
Post by juliette21 on Feb 13, 2016 13:24:46 GMT -5
Oh I'm so sorry Brie. I know exactly what you mean that you wouldn't be able to take any more. Having one child with special needs is enough, I couldn't even fathom if my DS2 also had something. I am already stretched thin with appointments, co-pays, and patience. Sometimes when my DS2 has really bad temper tantrums or reminds me of DS1, I am literally terrified he also has ADHD. I have said to my H several times, "I cannot do this all over again, he cannot have ADHD." Not even because ADHD is that bad, just because I feel overwhelmed and to my limit on sick time and appointments with just DS1. I don't know how I would be able to juggle even more.
That said, at 3 many of those behaviors are normal. I know you're not jumping to a diagnosis yet, so try not to let this weigh too heavily on you right now. ADHD really shows itself once they get to grade school, so you have a few years to bide your time and watch him. My pedi even said to me after DS1's diagnosis at 5.5 that we all kind of knew from about age 4 that DS1 had it. But until it affects his schooling and peer relationships, you can just hang back and use behavioral strategies for them. There's not really anything to "do" for ADHD at 3 or 4.