Ugh, these people are so awful. I'm so sorry they are putting you through all of this. Too bad you can't put "loving brother to a couple of shitty sisters"
You are seriously handling all of this better than most. ((Hugs))
I'm so thankful Facebook deleted that post. I hope you can gain control of the page and can do with it as you see fit. I hate these people so much on your behalf.
I'm sorry you're dealing with so much drama and pain and just plain foolishness due to these ILs. That said, I think it's a good idea to give yourself some time to cool down before finalizing the headstone. Can you just put his name/dates on it? Versus a phrase?
If you must put on the phrase, I do think it's important to add son and brother...it's a reflection of HIS character - HE was the loving son and brother. His parents and sisters, on the other hand, ehhh...
Most monument companies charge per letter outside of the standard name/dates, so if he didn't specifically request that "extra" wording, I would forgo it. The people that will visit his final resting place will know who he is (character-wise).
karma, I would still go today so you don't pay more later.
I'm pretty sure you can have whatever you want added later, but for now, I would not include it.
I called them and put a deposit down so I could lock on the price before they raise them. I wouldn't have thought to go that without your suggestion.
I get 50 free letters them it's $5 per letter. I think I'll go there in 2 weeks and go over the details. I will probably add loving son regardless but may tell the Dad if he wants loving brother or however I decide to word it they will need to pay the cost of that lettering due to the way the sisters have treated me. That seems fair to me.
Of course it will make me look like the evil villain but I need to start to be ok with that it's better than being walked over. I'm definitely a stronger person now, although it wasn't by my choice but the circumstances than I had been for the last 13+ years. I'm starting to remember who I used to be and how I was independent. Next step will be me not feeling the need to be validated when I make any decision. I can do it at work, just not in my personal life.
If you must put on the phrase, I do think it's important to add son and brother...it's a reflection of HIS character - HE was the loving son and brother. His parents and sisters, on the other hand, ehhh...
This exactly. It's about your H, not those cuntrags.
I think that seems more than fair to be willing to have them included as long as they pay. That would be fair even without their nastiness - you are now a widowed single mother and your financial situation is tenuous.
And cut yourself some slack - you are navigating probably one of life's most difficult and challenging situations and you are handling it all marvelously and with grace even in the face of nasty wretchedness. You are getting stronger each step of the way.
Post by laceylaplante on Feb 13, 2016 13:30:52 GMT -5
I just saw what SIL posted and I'm so glad the FB took it down. I admire your strength and grace to take the time to cool off before deciding what gets put on his stone. I know that I could never see past my own hurt feelings and would make a rash decision to leave them off. Good for you for taking the high road, you're setting an excellent example for your son. They are complete scum of the earth and I'm so sorry that they are making and already difficult time so much harder on you.
Post by karmasabiotch on Feb 13, 2016 13:41:54 GMT -5
I realized to include loving brother is less than $100 so it would be petty of me to ask for that money. I'm just going to be the bigger person and do the right thing regardless of how they act.
I realized to include loving brother is less than $100 so it would be petty of me to ask for that money. I'm just going to be the bigger person and do the right thing regardless of how they act.
I know it was hard, but I think you made the right decision to include loving son & brother. It says something about him, not them. He loved them, even though I would bet my last dollar that he wouldn't love the way that they are treating you.
Your ability to take the high road in all of this is an incredible example for J.
Post by gibbinator on Feb 13, 2016 17:21:43 GMT -5
I'm sorry ex-sil is being so hateful towards you. I guess it's positive that her own son is on your side, it really shows that everyone else knows she's crazy too. I hope you won't have to deal with these people much longer.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Please be aware that once a page is memorialized friends cannot be added. So, get yourself added back somehow before you memorialize it, if you choose to go that route.
I do t know if it's helpful but this is not true. I memorialized my dad's page and can accept friend requests.
You are such an incredibly strong graceful lady. You are setting such an example for your son whether you see it or not.
Taking the high road is a great way to show them that whatever they do/did to you, that your H was that loving person.
Just a suggestion I don't know how it all works, but make sure the headstone company doesn't let the father or anyone add/change anything to the headstone as well. Who knows what shit things they will try to do just to get you going again. Just thinking of you to cover your ass.
Please be aware that once a page is memorialized friends cannot be added. So, get yourself added back somehow before you memorialize it, if you choose to go that route.
I do t know if it's helpful but this is not true. I memorialized my dad's page and can accept friend requests.
It was already memorialized. I'm the legacy contact though. If a push of a button by someone else deletes all the pics and memories I want to print out and save I will be devastated.
I do t know if it's helpful but this is not true. I memorialized my dad's page and can accept friend requests.
It was already memorialized. I'm the legacy contact though. If a push of a button by someone else deletes all the pics and memories I want to print out and save I will be devastated.
It was already memorialized and they blocked you? I'm so sorry. My dad died less than a year ago and my mom and brother have been so horrific about it / to me I actually cut them off completely. They stole money, called him names and said terrible things about him right after he died, etc. I realized life was too short, it was sort of a blessing. They were so horrible at the time I most needed support I couldn't pretend they were decent humans anymore. It's been painful but strangely freeing, too. I hope you find some peace. Don't be afraid to do what is best for you and your child right now. Everyone else and their opinions can go to hell.