He says HE is walking on eggshell oh my god

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Today I have heard from no fewer than 3 people that I have no backbone and H says he's been walking on eggshells for six months.

Everyone can fuck right the fuck off right about now oh my god

[honeychai]

Time to whoop some ass.

[flex]

Who is telling you that you have no backbone??

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Feb 14, 2016 13:43:43 GMT -5 flex said:

Who is telling you that you have no backbone??

Mom, sister, husband.

[meganew]

What.

What?!

WAT???!

[W.T.Faulkner]

Your husband has a strange definition of "walking on eggshells."

Escape to hipsterville, lady.

[cleo29]

He tells you that you have no backbone but yet is walking on eggshells?? This does not make sense at all.

What spurred all of this?

[jreeds]

What?!

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I try so hard, you guys Nothing I do is ever enough

[W.T.Faulkner]

Feb 14, 2016 13:52:24 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

I try so hard, you guys Nothing I do is ever enough

Yes it is. You are awesome. Just because your husband sucks right now doesn't mean you're not enough.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Feb 14, 2016 13:50:59 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

He tells you that you have no backbone but yet is walking on eggshells?? This does not make sense at all.

What spurred all of this?

Lucy was yelling in the shower bc she had shampoo near her eyes. He yelled bc she's yelling. I said, "she has shampoo in her eyes, everyone calm down"

Which lead to a discussion of how I never say no to her and he can parent her without me coming in to be the savior. And I told him all he does is correct her and yell at her and then came the backbone comment

To which I said, "you really don't want me to grow a backbone right now ok?" And he said he's felt like I don't like him for six months now and he's always walking on eggshells.

[ZoeHart]

Feb 14, 2016 13:52:24 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

I try so hard, you guys Nothing I do is ever enough

Disagree. You are awesome. You do so much! Someone needs an attitude adjustment (and it's not you).

[flex]

Jebus. What a way to spend Valentine's Day. He's being a dick IMVHO.

[cleo29]

Feb 14, 2016 13:55:53 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Feb 14, 2016 13:50:59 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

He tells you that you have no backbone but yet is walking on eggshells?? This does not make sense at all.

What spurred all of this?

Lucy was yelling in the shower bc she had shampoo near her eyes. He yelled bc she's yelling. I said, "she has shampoo in her eyes, everyone calm down"

Which lead to a discussion of how I never say no to her and he can parent her without me coming in to be the savior. And I told him all he does is correct her and yell at her and then came the backbone comment

To which I said, "you really don't want me to grow a backbone right now ok?" And he said he's felt like I don't like him for six months now and he's always walking on eggshells.

Well, at least he has finally picked up that you are not happy with him. If my kid gets soap in her eyes, I am going to help her out. How is that about no telling her no? I don't get it.

But, since he has now opened the can of worms, I think you need to just have a real, honest talk with him about everything. His lack of helping you in the house, his lack of being a real partner to you, etc.

You are such a good person and this is no way to live.

[isabel]

Feb 14, 2016 14:00:56 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

Feb 14, 2016 13:55:53 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Lucy was yelling in the shower bc she had shampoo near her eyes. He yelled bc she's yelling. I said, "she has shampoo in her eyes, everyone calm down"

Which lead to a discussion of how I never say no to her and he can parent her without me coming in to be the savior. And I told him all he does is correct her and yell at her and then came the backbone comment

To which I said, "you really don't want me to grow a backbone right now ok?" And he said he's felt like I don't like him for six months now and he's always walking on eggshells.

Well, at least he has finally picked up that you are not happy with him. If my kid gets soap in her eyes, I am going to help her out. How is that about no telling her no? I don't get it.

But, since he has now opened the can of worms, I think you need to just have a real, honest talk with him about everything. His lack of helping you in the house, his lack of being a real partner to you, etc.

You are such a good person and this is no way to live.

Agreed. He brought it up. Time for that CTJ talk.

[eddy]

Yeah growing a backbone when your kid has soap in their eyes seems like perfect timing. WTF

[usuallylurking]

I think if he were genuinely feeling like you don't like him and he's been walking on eggshells, he would be on his best behavior. If this has been his best behavior, well, he needs to reevaluate.

Not yelling at your kid doesn't mean you don't have a backbone.

Sorry, profart. Hugs.

[knx9211]

My eyes almost just fell out of my face. I'm sorry he's being such a dick.

[milosh]

Ugh, this is rough. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I think you should use this momentum to have a real honest talk with him. Enough is enough.

[demofea01]

Feb 14, 2016 13:55:53 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Feb 14, 2016 13:50:59 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

He tells you that you have no backbone but yet is walking on eggshells?? This does not make sense at all.

What spurred all of this?

Lucy was yelling in the shower bc she had shampoo near her eyes. He yelled bc she's yelling. I said, "she has shampoo in her eyes, everyone calm down"

Which lead to a discussion of how I never say no to her and he can parent her without me coming in to be the savior. And I told him all he does is correct her and yell at her and then came the backbone comment

To which I said, "you really don't want me to grow a backbone right now ok?" And he said he's felt like I don't like him for six months now and he's always walking on eggshells.

He's been the one who's walking on eggshells? GTFO with that bullshit. I would take the opening he's given you to have a real, honest to God talk about his complete inability to be an adult or a parent.

[lovelyshoes]

He loves to blame others for his behavior. I don't think a conversation will open his eyes. I think that has to come from an unbiased third party and he has to be there alone so he doesn't get defensive. This sucks. You're a rockstar and don't let his shit weigh you down.

[miniroller]

Oh No he did not! He's absolutely projecting, & I definitely agree with Cleo that at least he's noticing things aren't peachy keen right now. Happy Valentines Day, Dick. Prof, please take some time for yourself today, collect your thoughts, maybe write some things down (while they're fresh), & try to see if he'll go to counseling. Or at the very least have a CTJ talk.

[silva]

My heart breaks for you.

[pantsparty]

[Deleted]

Oh Hellllll no. I would beat him with my backbone.

[nicbreeful]

Feb 14, 2016 13:55:53 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Feb 14, 2016 13:50:59 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

He tells you that you have no backbone but yet is walking on eggshells?? This does not make sense at all.

What spurred all of this?

Lucy was yelling in the shower bc she had shampoo near her eyes. He yelled bc she's yelling. I said, "she has shampoo in her eyes, everyone calm down"

Which lead to a discussion of how I never say no to her and he can parent her without me coming in to be the savior. And I told him all he does is correct her and yell at her and then came the backbone comment

To which I said, "you really don't want me to grow a backbone right now ok?" And he said he's felt like I don't like him for six months now and he's always walking on eggshells.

I'm angry on your behalf.  I wish you would tell him that you HAVEN'T liked him because he hasn't been doing anything likable.

Want me to punch him for you?

[speckledfrog]

He's been walking on eggshells? That's rich. I'm going to guess that someone doesn't like you asking him to be a grown up. Rock that boat, prof, rock it hard.

[Deleted]

Ugh, girl, you're dealing with so much right now. I haven't followed all of your updates but did you guys ever have a CTJ talk around time of the aquarium outing incident?? Is he willing to do couples counseling??

[nsl]

No, no, no. His attitude about both your parenting and his role in your attitude toward him are completely unacceptable. I really hope that you're able to have a serious talk with him about all of this soon, ProfArt, because you and your kids deserve so much better than what he's been giving you.

[cville]

You are an amazing woman, lp. The people in your life, and your husband especially, better shape the hell up and recognize that with the quickness. You do try very hard, but if he's only figuring out NOW that you're dissatisfied with his nonsense, feel free to enlighten him in detail. Maybe you all need a serious, calm airing of grievances so that you can move forward?