Loss check in (Feb 26)

[awick14]

I know we just did one a few weeks ago but I didn't want to make a post all about me.

I have a few questions for some of you. As you may or may not know I just found out at 4w6ds that I am going to be miscarrying. (My beta at 17DPO was 224, and my beta at 21DPO was around 384 I believe, so obviously it is not doubling.) I have yet to have any real cramping or bleeding. I have never had a loss like this before. (Even though it's my 5th loss, my first I found out because I bled, and my last 3 all required D&Cs.)

I'm now at the point that I just want this to be over. I have thur-sat off and I'm over half way through that and I still haven't even started bleeding. I know this is probably horrible to say but I am just so over missing out on shit because of losses and even takin time off work pisses me off. (I have turned down OT shifts for all three of these days off because I didn't want to start bleeding at work.) Urg. Can this please be over with so we can just move on already. (I think I have moved through the grief process fairly quickly this time and I don't have any emotion left.)

I haven't really cried since I found out, hell I even stayed at work when I was told about it and worked another 11 hrs. Sigh...

Sorry that got long, but how are you all doing?

[konapoppy]

Ugh the work thing adds insult to injury, I hear you on wanting to just live your life. I hope things start moving quickly so you can get back on track.

More generally, I really struggled to focus on my own life rather than the "what could be"s. After my last loss I just decided to plan vacations etc as if I would never get pregnant. Then Zika came along and ruined my Olympics plans (it has ruined people's actual lives, and I am in no way trying to minimize that). Loss and a struggle TTC sucks.

[VillainV]

I think we're going to take a break from TTC for a few months. We have a lot of stress right now (health issues for H and DS that I mentioned in a previous post). My cycles are wonky and short. And if we did manage to get pregnant and had another loss, I don't think we could cope very well with everything else we're dealing with now.

I see the doc on Tues and will see about going back on BCP for a few months, which will hopefully fix my cycles.

[FishChicks]

I'm sorry it's so tough awick14. I really hope you get the closure you need quickly, and I understand where you're coming from. I took the d&c path, but they didn't get everything, and waiting for the spotting to stop and beta to hit zero sucked.

As for me, I'm entering the FW for my first post loss cycle, and woke up today with a 101 fever, body aches, and a nasty cough. How fucking awesome.

[awick14]

Thanx ladies.

((konapoppy))

VillainV- I'm sorry that everything has turned out this way for you, but I hope that if you decide to try again it happens quick and no more losses happen for you.

((FishChicks)) I hope you feel better soon.