I'm a pastor the weekends are just as busy as weekdays for me. Saturday I had a memorial service and finished up my sermon Sunday, worship and two meetings.
I get to juggle my children and things in the middle of all that. I'm tired too.
Re: cleaning, it's mostly just cleaning after my toddler. I started putting a 15 minute timer for everyone to pickup/clean before bed, but during the day, it's like he wrecks as he goes. So we constantly have to pick up the box of crayons he threw down, clean the chair he just colored, clean the cereal box he emptied on the floor, etc. Baby proofing doesn't work as well with the third
Can he open baby gates? My mom suggested this and it's worked pretty well. We have two rooms with gates, there's not much he can get into that will be terrible in both rooms. He can't get into the kitchen. All his toys are in baskets and he has to pick up before he can start something new. I help, but he HAS to do it (SDs and DH are slobs so this was my parenting hill to die on). He has to put all his legos in the basket before he can pull out his puzzles etc.
-Breakfast -throw a load of laundry in the washer -get everyone out the door and tidy up on the way out -Try to manage getting groceries with three kids. I usually complete my trip, lol -get home around 10 or 11 and try to get everything unpacked. By then Ilya's ready for a nap and clinging to my legs. -nurse him for half an hour until he falls asleep. Other kids watch a movie. - put him down and make lunch -kids don't eat, so I force them outside where one of them starts crying almost immediately -Clean the house. Finish laundry -do some sort of activity with the kids -take everyone for a walk once Ilya wakes up -start dinner -clean again -make kids go outside again, they come in filthy, so it's bath time - eat. Clean up. Again. -Skype with h usually at 5:30 -I start getting the kids ready for bed at 6:30. It's crazy early, but they wake up at the same time no matter what time I send them, so meh. -7:15ish- whenever I fall asleep (usually before 9, lol) is me time, so I workout and play on my phone. But mostly just play on my phone, haha.
Then Sunday is pretty much exactly the same, except replace groceries with running other outings. Mall, park, play center, other random stores.
Is your H OOT long term? You truly are supermom!!
We're hoping that it will change in the next 6-12 months. He's been doing this for almost 3 years and we're all completely over it. He works in Alberta right now, but he will probably going to northern BC long term, so we will most likely go with him. Ugh. It's cold up there, lol.
Ha, I still have in the back of my mind that there are people (don't ask what people, I'm too tired to remember!) that say that you should have even numbered amount of kids otherwise someone will be left out, so it will bother me until we add a 4th. Haha. But am I exhausted because I'm always tending to the odd man out? Things I wonder about and won't know until we give one away or add one.
I'll give you one of mine.
Perfection! Then we'll both be to even numbers. I'll take whichever one sleeps through the night!
Ours are more relaxed but we have one kid. He only does TaeKwonDo on Saturday mornings, then brunch, go ride our bikes or to the park, prep dinner, eat. Our weekends are really fun and laid back. M-F 3:30-8pm is hell for me because I'm fitting in cello, TaeKwonDo, dinner and the endless homework David seems to have.
Can I ask a personal question? Feel free to ignore! You guys thought about having a second kid? Or maybe even tried? Are you happy with how things worked out?
I think I want a second kid, but sometimes I think about how much easier life is already after a year and how much simpler life seems with just one kid. Sometimes I wonder if having a second kid isn't such a great idea.
I definitely would love a second child. My biggest regret it that we didn't start sooner. I had David at 31 and I wish we would have started again at 33, but I felt strongly about being one and done. One is great, but I would love a second. We tried on and off but weren't successful. Soooo, my biggest regret is realizing too late that we wanted another, but I'm turning 39 this year and honestly, it's just not happening at this point.
Also, I want to stress that one has been awesome. We are really happy and I'm not living my life with regret or anything, just thinking about how it could have turned out different. There are a ton of advantages with having one. I think you can't go wrong either way, ya know?
Post by spidervain on Mar 13, 2016 22:45:52 GMT -5
So it seems I'm not the only person who experiences crushing disappointment each Sunday around 5:00 when I realize I won't accomplish anything else that was on my to-do list? Also, this is appoint of contention in my relationship with my mother. She seems to think we avoid her by not trekking 45 miles to her house on the weekends. I can't seem to get her to realize that we barely have time to fold the laundry on weekends. Two working parents and 4 kids is no joke. I'm completely exhausted most of the time. On a good day, I'd say I'm just tired.
Can I ask a personal question? Feel free to ignore! You guys thought about having a second kid? Or maybe even tried? Are you happy with how things worked out?
I think I want a second kid, but sometimes I think about how much easier life is already after a year and how much simpler life seems with just one kid. Sometimes I wonder if having a second kid isn't such a great idea.
I definitely would love a second child. My biggest regret it that we didn't start sooner. I had David at 31 and I wish we would have started again at 33, but I felt strongly about being one and done. One is great, but I would love a second. We tried on and off but weren't successful. Soooo, my biggest regret is realizing too late that we wanted another, but I'm turning 39 this year and honestly, it's just not happening at this point.
Also, I want to stress that one has been awesome. We are really happy and I'm not living my life with regret or anything, just thinking about how it could have turned out different. There are a ton of advantages with having one. I think you can't go wrong either way, ya know?
Thanks for responding. I think you really captured some of my thoughts about this. Ultimately, I don't think I'd regret it. I just think about how much easier life could be if we stopped now.
It's stressful right now because Will's in swim and bowling, and the puppy's in obedience classes, but on the weekends, we really attempt to not schedule anything at all. Like, today I went to a Trump protest and DH stayed home with the kids.
And when I got home, DH made a quick run to the store and we did some laundry. But there was plenty of Not Doing Shit time in there.
I feel so lazy reading these weekends. I'm a single mom working full time... I should be busier. Lol. The boys are 4 and 6, for reference.
Saturday - Ungodly hour: Asher crawls into my bed and watches YouTube videos on my phone until I drag my ass out of bed and make coffee - 7-9ish: boys eat cereal, yogurt, oranges, then run around in their pjs playing with lightsabers while I drink coffee and do absolutely nothing - 9am: Get them dressed and out the door to the outlet mall, hit 3 stores for spring clothes -12: chick fil a and playtime (aka mommy play on phone time) -1pm: home, Asher and mommy's naptime while declan plays quietly -3pm: snack, dress in clean clothes, head to cousins bday party -4-9pm: mommy gets to drink and socialize while boys go absolutely nuts in a bouncy house -10pm: carry sleeping boys into bed, stay up til about 2 watching netflix, snacking, playing on phone
Sunday -8am: gloriously late wakeup, thank you bouncy house... make eggs and bacon -9-11am: boys play in pajamas, I think I started a load of laundry -12: make grilled cheeses and soup for lunch -1-3pm: mommy and asher naptime while declan plays quietly -3pm: finally get dressed and walk to playground -5pm: come home, finish laundry, clean kitchen, boys play in the yard with neighbors -6pm: grandma arrives with dinner, I leave for work... after this I can't vouch, but I know they'll get baths tonight and be in bed around 8.
I think I can have lazy weekends because 1, no scheduled activities, 2, I have time to run errands without kids on weekdays, and 3, I stay up super fucking late every night and usually get a lot done after the kids are asleep.
I don't manage. I am exhausted almost all of the time.
I feel like I cram so much house stuff and errands and playing with kids on the weekend because we both work full time so during the week we are just busy going to work, making, eating and cleaning up dinner, packing lunches, am doing homework and getting kids to bed.
Post by sandyapples on Mar 14, 2016 5:58:50 GMT -5
Our weekends aren't usually to bad because I'm a SAHM and they only have one activity at the same time. This week I sprained my ankle so we actually had to clean on the weekend.
Friday:
-4pm DD1 gets home from school. We play in the front yard with neighbours
-5pm DH gets home (early) and we go out for a quick supper and to the movies
-8pm get home and kids go right to bed
-watch tv until bedtime
-7am kids get up with DH. They watch tv until I get up at 8:30
-9:30 go to swimming lessons, visit ggma in nursing home
-12pm lunch
-1-3 tidy up the house/take breaks to play on phone. Kids are supposed to be cleaning room but are really playing.
-3pm friends kids come over, kids all play/inside outside
-6pm friends come over, we have dinner, kids watch a movie, adults drink. Kids sleep over, parents go home
-8am kids get up, I tell them to go watch Netflix
-9am DH makes a big breakfast, I lazily watch children.
-10am we eat breakfast, visiting kids go home and we chill for an hour or so
-1pm go visit ggma again because she was asleep on Saturday, run a couple errands and head to my parents
-3-7 hang out at my parents house and have dinner. DD1 pukes so I deal with her.
Post by lovelovelove on Mar 14, 2016 6:32:27 GMT -5
I wanted to ask this about M-F
Our weekends vary on how busy they are depending on how our week was, if dh is working and what shift, and if we have a family event.
This weekend dh was working sat and sun all day, so dd and I made breakfast, watched tv, I attempted to clean but it's pretty impossible with her around, took her to dance, target and other small errands, church, long drive to visit family for a bit, ice cream with friends.
Our families both live about 3 hours away so any visiting is an event that takes up at least a day. I feel badly about this, but I'm getting sick of it. I thrive on structure and with our week days getting out of control I want structured weekends.
What do everyone's weekdays look like? I'm so tired that I do nothing in the am until getting us ready and out the door for school & work. My work day is compressed bc I try to finish around 3, get dd, and either have errands, plans with her friends, or an activity. Then home around 6, dinner, maybe a bath, tv, bed at 730, clean kitchen and maybe pick up around the house, maybe cook for me & dh but probably not, watch a show and go to bed feeling like the house is a gross mess, I have projects undone, and dreading the next day where it will be more of the same. Ugh. I have a list a mile long of things that need to get done around the house, planning to do, etc and it feels like they're never going to get done.
Post by CheeringCharm on Mar 14, 2016 6:59:21 GMT -5
Our older kids have soccer on Saturday mornings but that's actually kind of a plus because it forces us to get up and dressed, etc. Our problem lately is the darn birthday parties the kids are invited to. Lately we've had at least one or two every freaking weekend. The invitation says drop off but then the parent looks at me with panic in her eyes when I start to leave and I end up staying to help referee so that is 2.5 hours down the drain, lol.
Ha we could do another one for weekdays, lol. It's just as crazy. We don't even manage homework most nights, thank god she is a top student. I'm fearing next year when Sophia is in grade 1.
I feel like it would be easier if my children didn't keep waking up so early AND not going to bed early. If only they would sleep 12 hours a night I'd be much more rested
our weekends aren't crazy yet because they are young (turning 2 & 4 soon) so we don't really have scheduled activities, but if we stay in the house they scream and fight constantly so we kind of have to leave the house
I've been trying to not eat out for dinner but we still probably do one night a week on average because I just can't stay on top of everything. There are laundry piles everywhere and it's like, I do a huge grocery shop and the fridge is FULL of food then four days later it is ALL GONE!!!!!!!! gah
Post by jeaniebueller on Mar 14, 2016 7:40:40 GMT -5
Honestly, having a 5.5 year age gap between kids has helped because DS is the only one with homework and activities (which I limit to one per season--plus, he isn't really interested in more than that anyway). I have friends who have 2+ kids who are involved in travel sports and multiple activities and I don't know how they do it. Our house is usually pretty cluttered, we eat a lot of convenience food and I am always tired anyway.
My H and I had this convo last night. We only have one, fairly easy 2.5 year old and at the end of the weekend, I've not meal planned or cleaned. We did run errands and do some fun stuff, but it took me all day yesterday do live/ do sports class/grocery store/target run/nap/make dinner and do a half ass job at cleaning the kitchen.
Then, H got a text from one of his high school buddies. He's a dental surgeon and she's also a doctor and the text was announcing that's she's pregnant. . . . With #5.
And it made me feel like a failure since I'm one and done because I don't think we could handle 2 (both work full time with one hour + commutes each way).
Post by whereintheworld on Mar 14, 2016 7:49:37 GMT -5
I have 3 (6yo, 4.5yo and 3yo) and we do a lot of divide and conquer. Our Winter/Spring schedule has been like this:
Saturday: 6/6:30am Kids wake, give them iPads on weekend mornings 7:30-9 I go to the gym for a morning bootcamp class 9:30-11am My husband takes DS1 to tennis lessons then the library for books for the week, I stay home with the other 2 kids and start catching up on the weeks laundry 12:00 We all have lunch and some down time at home 3:00-4:00 DS1 and DS2 have swim lessons 4:00-onwards, either we have friends over for dinner, or we go to someone's house, or we just stay home and veg
Sunday 6/6:30 Kids wake, iPad time Nothing scheduled so either a playdate, or walk to the local bakery for a treat, etc. 11:30-12:30pm DS1 and DS2 each have a 30 minute piano lesson in our home 12:30-2:30 lunch and quiet time, hang around the house 3:00-4:30 DS1 and DS2 have gymnastics class, usually I take them (and it's a 25 minute drive each way) and my husband will stay home and make dinner, clean the house, prep for the week. 5:00 dinner, baths, quiet time before bed.
It helps that my H works from home wednesday and friday and grocery shops on those days. And we eat very simple meals on most days - grilled cheese, soup, raw vegetables is a very common lunch/dinner.
ETA: we have one weeknight sport right now, Karate for DS1 on Wednesdays from 6-7pm, in the summer we'll break from that and do soccer and tball for DS1 and DS2, it's Tuesday and Thursday nights from 6-7pm but it's close to home and we'll do a picnic dinner with neighbourhood families so it's a fun social thing, not really an annoyance.
Post by ladystardust on Mar 14, 2016 8:02:09 GMT -5
The hardest part for us is we have different days off so we are always alone with the kids through the day. It gets tiring real fast. One day to spend together to help recharge is heaven. I barely got anything productive done this weekend and we spent an extra day visiting my mom.
Saturday: DH gets up with DD1 at 7 and they eat breakfast and watch tv downstairs. I sleep until DD2 wakes up, 7:30 if I'm lucky. 8:40 DH leaves for work. Play/watch tv with kids. 9:00-10:00 DD2 naps. Usually in the swing. 10:00 call my Mom to see if she's awake and going to be home that day. Get dressed, pack diaper bag and walk to my Moms house. 11:30 my mom makes us lunch (lol) and DD plays while I feed/take care of DD2 12:30 DD1 gets bad constipation and flips that she needs to poop but it hurts. 1:00 I load them up and I carry a crying DD1 home while pushing DD2 in the stroller. She tries to poop until 1:45 with some success. We go up for nap time (later than usual). DD2 napped from the walk home until almost 3:00. 2:00-4:00 DD1 naps. After, she gets up and plays downstairs 4:45 I start dinner. 5:30 DH gets home and we eat 6:40 take DD2 up to feed and put to bed 7:20 DH takes DD1 up to start bedtime. 7:45 both kids in bed. I put in a load of laundry, pick up toys and do dishes. We then sit on our butts in front of the tv until we go up at like 10:30
Sunday: Same wake up routine. DH leaves at 8:40 DD2 nap at 9 in swing. In the meantime DD1 and I get dressed. 10:00 DD2 wakes up and we go to the grocery store 10:45 call my mom and I drop them off and go home and put groceries away and do some quick cleaning of the kitchen. 11:30 my mom makes us lunch again. We stay until about 12:30 12:30-2:30 DD1 is constipated again and spends this time trying to get out what she couldn't yesterday. We watch Frozen during this time (she does not let me touch or persuade her to try things that may help) 2:30 she poops! We all celebrate. I decide to let her skip her nap. We watch tv and play upstairs until time to make dinner 5:30 DH comes home and we eat. DH has upset stomach so does not eat and skips giving DD1 a bath. Pretty much the same night routine but a little earlier since everyone was tired. 7:45 clean kitchen and get bottles ready for daycare. DH and I go up at 9:30
Post by ProfessorArtNerd on Mar 14, 2016 8:07:31 GMT -5
I was just thinking that I can't wait til Lucy no longer has dance on Saturday morning. Our weekend starts out hectic and doesn't let up much
Saturday Up around 7 w David Lucy up around 8 Make cinnamon rolls (from a tube, of course) Dance 10-12 Sometimes while she's at dance I take my mom grocery shopping 12 pickup Lucy from dance, grab lunch meat at the deli Bring my mom her lunch meat and eat lunch there so H can sleep
Lucy, David and I go home around 3, usually go out for dinner w H. I fall asleep w David around 8-9, Lucy has iPad tie til God only knows Sunday Up around 7 w David Lucy and H up around 8 Lucy cheer 1-3 My parents' house for dinner Home at 7 to get ready for the week
I'm frustrated a lot. It's hard finding a balance between getting shit done, doing fun stuff with the kids, and doing stuff for us. We don't have kids in organized activities, so that helps. DS has done soccer on the fall. It's only an hour on Saturdays and I would still get annoyed at that commitment.
I don't necessarily want to sit and relax on a Saturday... I like moving around. I just hate that we don't have time to get things done so everything always feels like it's in disarray. We've been in our house for 3 years and most rooms are still unpainted. The cat puked on my bedroom carpet yesterday and I still haven't cleaned it yet. There are bags of clothes in our garage waiting to be donated. My favorite black blazer is still at the dry cleaners and it took me a month to even remember to bring it.
I need one of those weeks where the kids are in daycare and H and I are off work so we can hit the reset button before things continue to get away from us.
I just hate that we don't have time to get things done so everything always feels like it's in disarray. We've been in our house for 3 years and most rooms are still unpainted. The cat puked on my bedroom carpet yesterday and I still haven't cleaned it yet. There are bags of clothes in our garage waiting to be donated. My favorite black blazer is still at the dry cleaners and it took me a month to even remember to bring it.
omg yes. That's what it always feels like. I finally got rid of my broken coffee table to realize that there is a giant stain (hard to see, just darker area) on my living room carpet. And the new couch is covered in weird stains (yogurt? Boogers?). And after 8 years, I still haven't gotten around to painting the trim, and the paint is cracking at places and there are a million more stains than when we moved in. And I need to do a donation run again because I'm overflowing in too small clothes (for the kids) and random pregnancy items (I just found a pregnancy belt, you know, those belly support things? on my bedroom floor yesterday. I have no idea where it even was until a kid got it out).
And right now, I just got to work and realized DS got yogurt on my blazer this morning (or boogers?). And that I have splinters in two of my fingers and I have no idea where they came from. It's like someone else is living my life, and I'm just sitting there watching thinking about how crazy it all is.
Most Monday mornings at work begin with me thanking my boss for my job and not firing me. Cause I couldn't handle one more day home with my child. She exhausts me. I am a FAR better mom when I am working. Lol
It's like someone else is living my life, and I'm just sitting there watching thinking about how crazy it all is.
Yes!!! Exactly.
I think back to my pre-kid life and i remember how laid back and on my A-game I was. Everything was so tidy and done and organized. I ran almost every day. My job was less demanding. We lived in an apartment. Low upkeep. Happy hours at the beer garden.
Now life is like this perfect shit storm. It's good, but I thrive on calm and organized and things are not that and won't be for the foreseeable future. Lol.