We didn't make our first phone calls until after Hobbes and I were moved from L&D to mother/baby, around 8-9am.
If it wasn't MOTN, I probably would've called my own parents sooner, but I went into labor around 1am, we went in around 3:30am, I was admitted around 4:45am, and Hobbes was born at 5:10am. None of those were really appropriate phone call times. We planned all along not to call ILs until it was all over with because they are local and might have shown up sooner than we wanted to receive visitors.
For dog care, we fed our dogs and let them out as we were leaving for the hospital. We left an instruction sheet on the kitchen table, and had a bunch of friends on standby that we planned to text to ask to stop by our house to let them out/feed again. Our garage door has a keypad, so no actual key necessary, and we could have a couple different friends each take one feed/walk so it wasn't too burdensome on anyone. It was just luck that she was born so fast we didn't need help.
I only told my sister what was going on. I didn't want any distractions during labor or any pressure to keep people updated. There was also limited cell service in the delivery room.
Post by Velar Fricative on Mar 17, 2016 9:45:36 GMT -5
Our immediate families knew when I would be induced, so once I made to that induction day, there was no hiding it. The ILs visited me shortly after check-in and my mom and sister waited in the waiting room for the last several hours. We are all close so I had no problem with it. DH texted everyone else the news right away (she was born at 3:39 am so we didn't want to call people).
We originally planned on not telling parents until the babies were here. I was only having H in the room and he felt really strong about no one being at the hospital which I was fine with.
My water broke at 33 weeks and H was 2 hours away so my mom took me. While I was in labor he called his parents and told them but said to not come up. My mom stayed at the hospital all day until the twins came in the afternoon. H's parents and sister came up then but they went straight to the NICU so no one held them for quite awhile.
Whenever we have a 3rd we obviously will have to find a sitter for DS and DD but I still want no one at the hospital until the baby arrives.
Also once H came to the hospital my mom went to my house and got my dog and took it home with her. And no one posted anything on fb. We didn't even announce the babies were born until the next day but we had sent texts to close friends.
Reality was that DH called my mom as he drove over to the hospital from the doctor's office (I was being wheeled over since I was 8cm when the doc checked me). I don't think he told his parents until after she was born.
No one was there until a little after the baby was born though. I absolutely did not want people around while I was in labor or for the first hour or so. And my mom (who I'm very very close to) didn't want to be in the waiting room or really know until it was over anyway.
I don't really understand the strong desire to tell everyone before the baby is born, but I'm definitely in the minority there.
Technically, I didn't go into labor with #1...I had a non-reactive NST at my 40 week appointment that morning and got sent to L&D. It was more of a "we have to administer Pitocin to do this test, so you're either having this baby today via emergency c-section or since you're 40 weeks there's no point in trying to stop the contractions and we'll just continue the meds to induce full-blown labor" sort of thing.
DH called my parents and his after we got the the hospital, while I was getting changed and having the IV started. They all live three states away; we had no worries anyone was going to come rushing to the hospital, so we figured we'd give them the heads up while we had time.
I called my family after my water broke that morning. It was two days after Christmas and they were supposed to be heading out of town that day to visit family.
H called the IL's on the way to the hospital because they were picking up our dog to watch.
Post by mandapanda18 on Mar 17, 2016 10:38:47 GMT -5
When I needed the emergency c-section. H needed some one at the hospital at that point because he has anxiety and was freaking the fuck out. We weren't going to tell anyone until after we had our bonding time, because they would have been there asap.
I think you're unintentionally being vague with saying, "it depends." That's an empty answer for them. That leaves them thinking, 'Well...what does that mean? Will she call us when she's going to the hospital or not?'
I would just tell them that you will call them when you are ready. Tell them, "You know, this is all new for me, I'm really nervous about going into labor and I really don't want everyone down at the hospital waiting around for the birth. I will call you when I'm ready to have people stop by."
Be direct, you will find that some people need things spelled out for them in order to grasp what you want.
I had a scheduled induction, so we went in at night and told parents to come the next morning. I think they were all there before 9 AM...clearly overeager for the first grandchild on both sides. DD didn't come until 5 that night, so not terribly long, but certainly long enough.
Post by redpenmama on Mar 17, 2016 11:11:43 GMT -5
I labored at home without anyone but H knowing from 7 am - 3 pm. I called my OB at 3 when contractions were speeding up (but still 7-8 min apart), and she sent me to the hospital. We let our parents know we were on our way at that point (they were all on call to drive/fly in once she was born, so they needed some notice).
I called my poor no at 1am with my second. She was at my place in 30 minutes (I don't want to know how fast she was driving) and I had him at 5am. I was sad to leave my daughter while she was sleeping, but she came by in the morning and I went home the next morning.
My water broke at home at 3am almost four weeks early. I called my parents around seven. I'm glad they came to the hospital. DD ended up going to special care and there was talk of taking her into Boston. My H stayed with the baby and my mom stayed with me once everything settled down. And my dad got me food lol
Post by Queen Mamadala on Mar 17, 2016 11:31:36 GMT -5
I called my mom immediately after my last ultrasound and unexpected exam. I had just stopped by to see my midwife after my ultrasound and she asked if I wanted to get checked. I told her I was 5 cm the previous week (saw another provider), but she was skeptical. Yep. 5 cm, 80% effaced and membranes were bulging. I wasn't contracting, but she called up to L&D and figured it was best to stay put. I was induced later that night.
My exH was deployed at the time. My mom had to go to my place to pack my bag. I called my dad shortly after. He lives in the Bay Area and I was in San Diego. He flew out that afternoon.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Mar 17, 2016 11:35:14 GMT -5
Pretty much right away, we needed my FIL to come stay with my husband for awhile since my water broke while my husband was a patient in the ER (Thanks, gastroenteritis!)
My parents were actually driving down to visit us the weekend I was induced at 37 weeks 3 days. They were bringing us the bassinet DD was going to sleep in. I was supposed to be induced on a Thursday, but the L&D unit was full until Saturday night. I called them on Tuesday when they decided I was going to need to be induced and told them they were welcome to drive down and visit anyway. They ended up hanging out in the hospital with us until DD was born. I think if I had not been induced we would have called our parents on the way to the hospital.
Pretty much right away, we needed my FIL to come stay with my husband for awhile since my water broke while my husband was a patient in the ER (Thanks, gastroenteritis!)
Oh no!!! What ended up happening? Was your H able to be there for the birth? Were you both recovering in the hospital together?
I texted my parents when we were on the way to the hospital, because I knew my mom would need to come over and give one of the dogs his meds in the morning (my water broke at almost 2am, so MOTN), feed them that night, and do morning meds the next day. I wasn't worried about them showing up at the hospital though, because they had been explicitly told to not come until I asked them to...and they're good about listening in situations like that. FIL not so much but that's a story for another day.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Mar 17, 2016 12:50:37 GMT -5
I was induced w dd and everyone knew when I was going in for my induction. My mom came about 2 hrs into it and then everyone else (my stepdad and sister and bil) all arrived after dd was born.
My water broke at 1:45 am and we called then when we got to the hospital around 7am. I was 7cm at check in. We called them back 3 hours later when he was born.
We dropped the dog at the kennel on the way to the hospital.
Post by formerlyak on Mar 17, 2016 13:11:44 GMT -5
I went into labor with my first at 33 weeks. Was not dilated, but strong contractions. Everyone knew in the morning after I was released because I was put on bedrest at home and put on meds to stop the contractions. My mom came to the house to stay at just shy of 37 weeks, because I knew my ex would only get a few days off and I'd want help. She was there when I went into labor. Ex and I went to the hospital and she stayed home to clean so I'd come home to a clean house - it was a mess because ... bedrest and not allowed to clean. They didn't admit me then because I was only at 2. They sent me home and told me to "eat things I wouldn't mind throwing up like soup and jello". I labored for about 12 more hours at home until the contractions became too much to stand and were on top of each other. At that point we told the rest of our families we were going to the hospital. My mom, ex and I went to the hospital then. We knew the labor and delivery rooms were huge so we'd all fit. I labored another 16 hours in the hospital, so I was glad to have the company. Ex and my mom took turns keeping me company while the other slept so that I'd have someone alert when time came to push. We told ex's mom when I was admitted and she started driving down - 6+ hour drive. I was in labor so freaking long I was glad people knew so they could keep me company.
Then when I learned that I needed a c-section because the baby was in distress, I was SO SO SO glad my mom and my ex-MIL were there, because my ex has a flair for the dramatic and he started freaking out. They kept him calm so that I could pay attention to the doctors and nurses and learn about what was about to happen in the OR. The nurse finally said to ex, "See how calm she is? And she is the one having the baby. You need to follow her lead!" Thank you nurse! And thank God our moms were there to deal with ex!
Post by estrellita on Mar 17, 2016 13:16:06 GMT -5
I kept my mom updated pretty much all the time, lol. I told her when I was admitted and told her it could be a while but she left work anyways around 10 and got up to the hospital around noon or 1 or so. E wasn't born until after 6pm, hehe. ILs came up around the same time. I think they only came up because my parents did (ILs live closer). It was nice they all kept each other company, haha.
ETA about the anxiety of them being in the waiting room.. so true for me. I actually think this is a big reason BFing didn't work for us. Instead of attempting to feed E, we decided to let our parents come in so they could go home. Next time I don't care about anyone else!
My mom happened to call me and I told her. She lives 3000 miles away. We told DH's parents because we were planning to meet them for dinner and had to cancel. But we told them not to visit the hospital until well after the delivery.
I wanted my mm in the delivery room (H was fine with this too). When I ended up with a scheduled CS, they wouldn't let her attend so my parents were waiting in my hospital room. ILs are out of town and came 10 days later - but they knew when the CS was scheduled and we face timed as soon as we were settled in the room.
We called our parents when the decided to do the emergency induction and then called them back when I was in actually painful labor. They had to drive an hour to get there and even though it went fast it was not as fast as I anticipated so I had like 7 people in the waiting room for me. We wanted them there but not in the room, my mom ended up staying for delivery because I was so drugged on magnesium and my epidural she helped hold my legs up.
For DD1 it was only DH and I with our parents in the waiting room (we called them a few hours before I pushed) for my last 2 we were at a local hospital and my mom was there both times and my BFF with our last. I am not sure about this time around because school might be out for the summer and someone has to babysit Luckily my aunt lives down the street from the hospital because I barely made it in time.