I received clothes because I wanted them. My parents bought me what I needed. Holidays were a time for the ones I wanted.
H's family does practical gifts and it was an adjustment. Watching SIL get excited over an ironing board while I was fuming that H bought me mattress pad that first Christmas was culture shock.
I remember declaring sometime in elementary school that clothes didn't count as gifts. I wasn't really into anything specific that my parents wouldn't buy anyways and I knew it. I think my parents did, because they stopped clothes as gifts.
My wife grew up in a family that needed to watch their money a lot more carefully. I've told her this story and she pretty much tells me that it's a sign of me being a privileged stuck up kid. They got clothes because it was economical, and were thankful for it because it meant they had new clothes.
My kids do not want for anything and like to get cute clothes or shoes as gifts. They are thankful for whatever they receive, I grew up getting a mixture of things for holidays but I don't just buy my kids white socks or undershirts I will buy them a character hoodie or the fancy sandals they really wanted but that I didn't buy because they really needed a practical pair etc. I will stick fun socks or undies with characters in their stockings and toss in candy and Shopkins to mix it up. My most memorable gift as a kid was a pair of athletic shoes endorsed by a female athlete I looked up to, they were only available in one major city at the time and my aunt had connections to get me a pair it was AWESOME!
Growing up clothes and necessities weren't gifts. I realize we were fortunate that my parents had the ability to buy us our needs AND wants (well within reason of course!). DH's family was the same growing up so that's the norm for us. The only time DD has EVER recieved clothing as a gift from either of our families was at my shower. Nobody has ever bought either DD or now DS, a single piece of clothing for birthdays, Christmas, or anything else. I don't mind and given our family backgrounds I would kind of find it weird.
Post by yellowbrkrd on Mar 24, 2016 20:24:18 GMT -5
We were always given a clothing budget twice a year, at the beginning of the school year and again in the spring/sunmer. If we wanted more than the budget allowed we had to buy it ourselves or received them as gifts.
Although we are better off than our parents were, I plan to do something similar with my kids. It teaches how to budget and just how little or far your money can go.
Pardon my response, this is kind of a sensitive topic for me so it may be a bit harsh.
We grew up poor, so getting new clothes were always a "gift" as opposed to getting my brother's hand me downs.
Though my H and I are not poor, we keep gifts simple for our kids because 1. We don't want them to be entitled ass holes and 2. We hate clutter.
With that said, Easter baskets here will include a new cup for each child, a coloring book and a little candy. Most eggs will be empty. Easter isn't a gift giving occasion to me/us and I hate how materialistic our culture is.
Post by MadamePresident on Mar 24, 2016 21:11:45 GMT -5
I've given my daughter undies for Christmas the past two years and she loves them. The grandparents usually give super fun things so I tend to do more practical things. Mostly we try to avoid having too much stuff in general. If we all do toys all the time then it's too much too quick.
I would probably shop until I drop (literally) and have always loved clothes and fashion so those were some of my favorite gifts. I buy fun things for DD as gifts- cute seasonal items, fun dress up stuff, etc. I also love when she gets clothes as gifts because she is starting to have fun dressing up and picking out what she wears so she gets excited for those gifts too.
I think practical gifts are perfectly fine. In a lot of cases they are fun too!
That said, I'm totally eye rolling all the comments about giving practical gifts in order to avoid "spoiling" and even "raising entitled assholes." Seriously - giving a shirt on Christmas, a coat for birthdays, and a swimsuit for Easter will have little effect on that.
ETA: I also kind of laugh at all the, "I HATE that Easter is a gift giving occasion all if a sudden - so I only put in clothes, a towel, sunglasses, and sandals." If you don't want Easter to be a gift giving holiday, why give any gifts? Kids aren't going to make the distinction you're hoping for here.
I think practical gifts are perfectly fine. In a lot of cases they are fun too!
That said, I'm totally eye rolling all the comments about giving practical gifts in order to avoid "spoiling" and even "raising entitled assholes." Seriously - giving a shirt on Christmas, a coat for birthdays, and a swimsuit for Easter will have little effect on that.
ETA: I also kind of laugh at all the, "I HATE that Easter is a gift giving occasion all if a sudden - so I only put in clothes, a towel, sunglasses, and sandals." If you don't want Easter to be a gift giving holiday, why give any gifts? Kids aren't going to make the distinction you're hoping for here.
Did you find it eye roll worthy when people implied that clothes are 'necessities' and therefore not what they give as gifts? Because for some people things do have to double as both a gift and necessity.
Post by awkwardpenguin on Mar 24, 2016 22:35:46 GMT -5
I received clothes as gifts rarely growing up, but it was because all my clothes were hand me downs and therefore not "nice" enough to be gifts. Plus I think new (and used) toys were generally cheaper than new clothes as gifts, or at least more fun per dollar spent, and my family didn't have a lot of money.
The grandmas LOOOOOVE to give DD clothes as gifts. I'm not sure if this will persist past babyhood, when the clothes are super cute and fun to buy. But at Christmas, my mom gave all toys for her to actually open, in keeping with her general "toys are more fun than clothes" philosophy.
Pardon my response, this is kind of a sensitive topic for me so it may be a bit harsh.
We grew up poor, so getting new clothes were always a "gift" as opposed to getting my brother's hand me downs.
Though my H and I are not poor, we keep gifts simple for our kids because 1. We don't want them to be entitled ass holes and 2. We hate clutter.
With that said, Easter baskets here will include a new cup for each child, a coloring book and a little candy. Most eggs will be empty. Easter isn't a gift giving occasion to me/us and I hate how materialistic our culture is.
Again, sorry for the negativity and rant.
Flame away.
This is a bit of a tangent, but I remember VERY clearly getting my own new clothes for the first time. I was in fifth grade and I got leggings and a sweatshirt from Bradlees (like a New England version of Kmart) and I LOVED those clothes. By that age, I would have happily taken new clothes as gifts.
I think practical gifts are perfectly fine. In a lot of cases they are fun too!
That said, I'm totally eye rolling all the comments about giving practical gifts in order to avoid "spoiling" and even "raising entitled assholes." Seriously - giving a shirt on Christmas, a coat for birthdays, and a swimsuit for Easter will have little effect on that.
ETA: I also kind of laugh at all the, "I HATE that Easter is a gift giving occasion all if a sudden - so I only put in clothes, a towel, sunglasses, and sandals." If you don't want Easter to be a gift giving holiday, why give any gifts? Kids aren't going to make the distinction you're hoping for here.
Did you find it eye roll worthy when people implied that clothes are 'necessities' and therefore not what they give as gifts? Because for some people things do have to double as both a gift and necessity.
No. That's why I was specific about what I was addressing. Good try though.
Post by winecheery on Mar 24, 2016 23:18:06 GMT -5
I loved getting clothes as gifts growing up. Yes, absolutely, clothes are necessities. But for us, it was always a more expensive clothing item, or a non-typical item, which made it feel special.
I've posted before how my mom always gave each of us a new bathing suit for Easter, to kick off the warm weather. We loved it. I'm doing that tradition with my kids too. I love when DD is gifted clothes, because she always growing right now, and so, will always need new clothes, whereas an excess of toys is not necessary OR fun, IMO. It becomes too overwhelming, and it doesn't get played with, and DD can't focus on any one thing.
I was always of the mindset growing up that I'd rather have one or two really nice things then a whole bunch of stuff I would never use or need. I will try to teach that to my kids. Quality vs quantity, and balance are huge to me in almost everything. (I went off on a tangent sorta...!)
Post by redpenmama on Mar 24, 2016 23:31:04 GMT -5
When we were older kids (middle/high school), we'd get some clothes for Christmas, and they were usually something special that we wouldn't otherwise have gotten (I recall a super sweet pair of Gap overalls, for example). Those were often my favorite gifts because, while practical, they were a bit of a splurge for my parents, and something I had really had my eye on.
I put some practical items (swimsuit, flip-flops, or PJs) in their Easter basket, but not due to any cultural tradition or subtle anti-Easter basket protest. No significant explanation for it other than those are the types of items I'm buying for them around this time of year anyway, they're more "fun" than a T-shirt or pair of shorts, and they help usher in a new season.
I love picking adorable girl outfits as gifts for my 2 friends with girls. I didn't realize they aren't considered gifts. Sorry @ffbride0813 !
I guess I didn't phrase my initial question well.
The Easter post listed clothing as stuff people are wrapping up to include in Easter baskets for their own kids cause they were buying it anyway cause their kids needed X clothing. That's what caused my curiosity as to why people did that.
We've received clothing as gifts from a number of people that I never thought twice of as gift or not gift. It just seemed weird in the context of the Easter post.
I don't give dd clothes as gifts but my h does. He has a theory (?) that every girl needs a new dress at Christmas so he buys one for both dd and myself. Then for her birthday, he took her to Carters and let her choose whichever Minnie Mouse outfit she wanted ( I wouldn't buy her character clothes normally). It was their little daddy/daughter date and more for him than her I guess. He hasn't mentioned anything about an Easter basket to me and hers is just full of dollar store stuff my grandma gave her for Christmas that I didn't use- bubbles, hairband etc.
We rarely did clothing. DS gives no fucks about clothing. Never did.
My husband was scarred for life as a result of only ever getting socks and underwear as gifts. I don't really believe that entirely, but my late MIL gave the worst gifts. Especially to him. Blue dress shirt from Sears, that isn't your size, that came stuffed into a manila envelope for Christmas? That was what she gave him the year I met him. Hard to get pumped about that.
But I could absolutely see special clothes as a gift. I know people who subscribe to that 4 gifts thing at Christmas- want.need.wear.read. It's a tad twee for my tastes, but I see the point.
Growing up we got a mix. My maternal grandmother sent an enormous box for my sister's a my birthdays (one in late Nov and one around Easter). Inside there were a couple outfits for each of us- generally a high end party dress for the holiday, maybe a winter dress coat, an outfit for school, a casual outfit, pjs, socks or tights to match and underwear, slips, cammies. I always looked forward to them.
Post by CheeringCharm on Mar 25, 2016 6:56:33 GMT -5
We don't do that because my DH doesn't think it is "fun" enough, lol. But actually our 3.5 DD is starting to get really into clothes so I can def see us doing it for her soon. She picks out what she wears every day and she has strong opinions So far DH has been right about the boys - they don't really care about what they wear. But I could see that changing maybe when they are older.
I got a mix growing up- all of my aunts and uncles came to family birthday parties until about age 12, so clothing was a safe choice.
The only clothing item I remember being excited about receiving was a pair of silvertab jeans in 9th grade. My dad was firmly in the "jeans shouldn't cost more than $30 camp" so they wouldn't have bought them just because.
Clothes weren't gifts growing up unless special clothes like horse riding gear or a new dance costume.
However one of my best birthday gifts was when my aunt took me to Top Shop when I was about 8 and let me pick out anything I wanted. Omg I still feel happy thinking about the tube skirt in fluorescent yellow that I chose. The 80s man.
My aunt did this for me as well. I got my beloved pink guess jeans with the zippers at the bottom of the legs. They were my most worn clothing item. It was so much fun.
I got Easter dresses as a part of my Easter basket till I was tween aged and then I got to pick out my outfit.
As far as clothing as gifts for other holidays we got clothing we needed throughout the year, but as we grew older if we wanted additional items they would be gifts. I think it taught us valuable lessons about choices and finite resources as an older kid.
The Easter post listed clothing as stuff people are wrapping up to include in Easter baskets for their own kids cause they were buying it anyway cause their kids needed X clothing. That's what caused my curiosity as to why people did that.
We've received clothing as gifts from a number of people that I never thought twice of as gift or not gift. It just seemed weird in the context of the Easter post.
I don't give dd clothes as gifts but my h does. He has a theory (?) that every girl needs a new dress at Christmas so he buys one for both dd and myself. Then for her birthday, he took her to Carters and let her choose whichever Minnie Mouse outfit she wanted ( I wouldn't buy her character clothes normally). It was their little daddy/daughter date and more for him than her I guess. He hasn't mentioned anything about an Easter basket to me and hers is just full of dollar store stuff my grandma gave her for Christmas that I didn't use- bubbles, hairband etc.
I kind of love this. I find it incredibly sweet, the thought of a dad taking his daughter shopping for a special occasion dress. It's so often the mom: proms, dances, then wedding dresses. I love the idea of a dad wanting to buy his daughter something that makes her feel beautiful. (I find fashion and styling about much more than just "getting dressed", even if I am not overly fashionable myself.)
I like that he treats you too! Can't forget his first lady!
Underwear and socks are necessities (although I've been known to give my girls cute socks as a Hanukkah gift, too). A new backpack when the current one is still usable, cute dresses, fancier shoes or boots, etc. are gifts/rewards in our household (and for me when I was growing up, too). "Clothing" doesn't mean "necessity"...there's a lot of leeway there. Plus there are only so many toys and games you can have around. If my kids didn't get some clothing for holidays/birthdays/etc. we'd be completely overrun and honestly, it would be money wasted that could have been spent on the more "fun" outfits, boots and things they'd like to have but certainly don't need. My 9 yo, in particular, would love to open a gift and find a twirly skirt or dress over a stuffed animal any day.