So, my situation is that I was induced with my DD at 40w3d and it totally failed. Baby never dropped down and after 36 hours they did a c-section. This time, I have a new doctor and he strongly encouraged a VBAC and thought I was an excellent candidate for it. So, I have a c-section on the books with the hospital for Friday, May 6th, with the hope I go into labor on my own before that.
All along I would say "I'm fine with either outcome" and "I know it's out of my hands so whatever happens is fine." But I went to my 39 week appointment today and still no dilation at all and baby is still way high up there. I just wanted to scream. I realized how much I wanted a VBAC and I'm just really feeling like it's not going to happen.
I'm just irritated with my body. I didn't go into labor with DD, even when I was induced, and I just feel like it's not going to happen this time either. I know I technically have 2 more weeks for things to change, but I just have this feeling that I'm going to end up with a csection again. Yes, I know that the important thing is that the baby is delivered safely and is healthy but I just want to stomp my feet about this for a minute.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Your story sounds exactly like mine. I tried induction twice with DD and never progressed both times. I ended up with a c section and hoping to VBAC with this one. I know how discouraging it feels when you feel like your body is failing you. I would bust out a breast pump and try some nipple stimulation. I had a friend who was 42 weeks and hoping to VBAC and this seemed to help her.
Post by mandapanda18 on Apr 21, 2016 9:58:47 GMT -5
I'm so sorry, I can relate! I also had a failed induction last time. They won't let me go for the vbac at all due to my lack of dilating past 3 last time. Just breath and keep in mind the only outcome that matters is a heathy baby, it doesn't matter how they get here! (Saying this is easier said then done for me too, hell, I wanted a med free birth and ended up with a c-section under general!) wishing you a healthy delivery, however it happens
Post by frozentoes on Apr 21, 2016 10:22:02 GMT -5
Thanks for your comments. ouokie, maybe it's time to start the whole spicy food/sex/walking/yoga ball bouncing/nipple stim process. I always thought that stuff was just kind of like urban legends, but maybe there is some truth to it!
@destinationunknown, That's very true, and I actually had a very positive experience with my last csection and a pretty easy recovery too. I just think it affected our ability to bond, and was really hoping to do that differently this time. There are definitely benefits to a scheduled csection though-- thanks for helping me see the brighter side.
I'm sorry. I feel like I may be heading down the same path (38 weeks, no dilation, baby still high) although since this is my first baby there's no way to tell and I know there's still time. But my body just tends to be slow and stubborn so I expect to go overdue at the very least and my hospital has a very high c section rate. The waiting sucks anyway but waiting without any sign of progress is even more discouraging. So I feel you on that one.
I totally feel you. I had a really terrible c-section experience with DD1, and have been VERY vocal and adamant about wanting a VBAC this time around.
At my last appt, my OB told me she didn't realize that they used forceps on DD1 during birth and that it still didn't work (I had a different OB). She said that doesn't bode well, and that she wants me to start coming to terms that this is likely to end in a csection.
I go back tomorrow and have several things I want to talk to her about. I've done some research on "gentle" csections- sections where you get immediate skin-to-skin, you can BF in the OR, etc, etc. I'm going to ask if this is an option....and then honestly, I might go ahead and just do the scheduled section. That way I KNOW I'm getting a good experience, vs an emergency section like last time.
I've also considered hiring a doula for my csection. I love the idea of having someone really knowledgeable there to advocate for me. My H tends to be very mild-mannered and wouldn't question the dr should something come up. I'd like to have someone there that I trust, that has some medical knowledge and that is there JUST to advocate for me.
Anyways, some of these thoughts have made me feel a bit better about this potential outcome. I really do get it, and am sad that this might not end the way I want it to, but I'm going to try REALLY hard to make sure its a positive experience, no matter if it is a VBAC or a section.
Post by frozentoes on Apr 21, 2016 11:04:30 GMT -5
pirate, I don't know why I get my hopes up for my doctor's appointments too--- I get so excited they are going to tell me I'm progressing then get so disappointed when they don't. Also, this post is helping me not feel so alone because it feels like everyone else I know that is near the end is like 2 cm dilated, 60% effaced already or else went into labor in the middle of the night at 37 weeks and I'm like ughhh why can't my body do that too?
I totally feel you. I had a really terrible c-section experience with DD1, and have been VERY vocal and adamant about wanting a VBAC this time around.
At my last appt, my OB told me she didn't realize that they used forceps on DD1 during birth and that it still didn't work (I had a different OB). She said that doesn't bode well, and that she wants me to start coming to terms that this is likely to end in a csection.
I go back tomorrow and have several things I want to talk to her about. I've done some research on "gentle" csections- sections where you get immediate skin-to-skin, you can BF in the OR, etc, etc. I'm going to ask if this is an option....and then honestly, I might go ahead and just do the scheduled section. That way I KNOW I'm getting a good experience, vs an emergency section like last time.
I've also considered hiring a doula for my csection. I love the idea of having someone really knowledgeable there to advocate for me. My H tends to be very mild-mannered and wouldn't question the dr should something come up. I'd like to have someone there that I trust, that has some medical knowledge and that is there JUST to advocate for me.
Anyways, some of these thoughts have made me feel a bit better about this potential outcome. I really do get it, and am sad that this might not end the way I want it to, but I'm going to try REALLY hard to make sure its a positive experience, no matter if it is a VBAC or a section.
Elsa, This is really good info and something that has kind of been in the back of my mind. I can bring it up at my appointment next week or maybe even call the hospital's labor and delivery ward and talk to someone there about it. I think the fact that I didn't have skin to skin with DD until hours later had an affect on our bonding and also was why my milk didn't come in for five days. It would alleviate one of the big negatives I'm associating with a scheduled csection. Thank you for bringing this up, I'm definitely going to look into it.
I totally feel you. I had a really terrible c-section experience with DD1, and have been VERY vocal and adamant about wanting a VBAC this time around.
At my last appt, my OB told me she didn't realize that they used forceps on DD1 during birth and that it still didn't work (I had a different OB). She said that doesn't bode well, and that she wants me to start coming to terms that this is likely to end in a csection.
I go back tomorrow and have several things I want to talk to her about. I've done some research on "gentle" csections- sections where you get immediate skin-to-skin, you can BF in the OR, etc, etc. I'm going to ask if this is an option....and then honestly, I might go ahead and just do the scheduled section. That way I KNOW I'm getting a good experience, vs an emergency section like last time.
I've also considered hiring a doula for my csection. I love the idea of having someone really knowledgeable there to advocate for me. My H tends to be very mild-mannered and wouldn't question the dr should something come up. I'd like to have someone there that I trust, that has some medical knowledge and that is there JUST to advocate for me.
Anyways, some of these thoughts have made me feel a bit better about this potential outcome. I really do get it, and am sad that this might not end the way I want it to, but I'm going to try REALLY hard to make sure its a positive experience, no matter if it is a VBAC or a section.
Elsa , This is really good info and something that has kind of been in the back of my mind. I can bring it up at my appointment next week or maybe even call the hospital's labor and delivery ward and talk to someone there about it. I think the fact that I didn't have skin to skin with DD until hours later had an affect on our bonding and also was why my milk didn't come in for five days. It would alleviate one of the big negatives I'm associating with a scheduled csection. Thank you for bringing this up, I'm definitely going to look into it.
No prob. I had the same issue- I didn't hold DD for 4 hours. I had issues with the anesthesia, so they had to completely knock me out. Then I woke up with the shakes. So by the time everything had gone down it was like 830am, and I had given birth at 4am. We had issues bfing, which led to blood sugar issues with DD, which led to her getting formula in the hospital.
So this is why I really wanted to try for a VBAC - to avoid all the above. But if I can accomplish the same things with a section, then I might just go for that, since I'll have some control (knowing that I would lose control if my VBAC turned into an emergency section).
Anyways, my appt is tomorrow at 1pm, and I am going to bring it up to my OB then. She is fantastic, she actually just had a baby herself in late Jan and is VERY receptive. I'll try to remember to fill you in on what she says!
Elsa , This is really good info and something that has kind of been in the back of my mind. I can bring it up at my appointment next week or maybe even call the hospital's labor and delivery ward and talk to someone there about it. I think the fact that I didn't have skin to skin with DD until hours later had an affect on our bonding and also was why my milk didn't come in for five days. It would alleviate one of the big negatives I'm associating with a scheduled csection. Thank you for bringing this up, I'm definitely going to look into it.
No prob. I had the same issue- I didn't hold DD for 4 hours. I had issues with the anesthesia, so they had to completely knock me out. Then I woke up with the shakes. So by the time everything had gone down it was like 830am, and I had given birth at 4am. We had issues bfing, which led to blood sugar issues with DD, which led to her getting formula in the hospital.
So this is why I really wanted to try for a VBAC - to avoid all the above. But if I can accomplish the same things with a section, then I might just go for that, since I'll have some control (knowing that I would lose control if my VBAC turned into an emergency section).
Anyways, my appt is tomorrow at 1pm, and I am going to bring it up to my OB then. She is fantastic, she actually just had a baby herself in late Jan and is VERY receptive. I'll try to remember to fill you in on what she says!
Sorry, mama. No words of wisdom, just wanted to say to keep your chin up. Regardless of how it happens, you're going to have a sweet little squish baby SO soon.
And if you're going all in on the old wives tales to induce, pineapples are cheap at Aldi this week haha.
To tag onto Elsa's comments about a gentle CS, I plan on going this route this time, I think. I'm not a good candidate for a vbac due to the way my pelvis is shaped.
Check out the podcast Longest Shortest Time, specifically episodes 72 and 73 which are all about CS. In one, they talk about a gentle CS which in addition to skin to skin time more quickly after birth can sometimes involve the use of a clear curtain/drape instead of the usual solid one. Or, some doc are using one with a flap that they'll raise when they take the baby out of you. Moms who have delivered this way say that it's been very beneficial for them and takes away some of the weird disconnect of laying down pregnant one minute and being not pregnant the next. The act of seeing the baby exit your body without all the drapes closes that gap.
No matter what happens, I hope you have a good birthing experience.
pirate, I don't know why I get my hopes up for my doctor's appointments too--- I get so excited they are going to tell me I'm progressing then get so disappointed when they don't. Also, this post is helping me not feel so alone because it feels like everyone else I know that is near the end is like 2 cm dilated, 60% effaced already or else went into labor in the middle of the night at 37 weeks and I'm like ughhh why can't my body do that too?
Yes, I feel like everyone else is all "could be any time now!" and I'm just like...nope, I probably still have plenty of time. My doctor did mention an ultrasound for next week so I'm trying to just look forward to that, we haven't seen her since 20 weeks!
Post by simpsongal on Apr 21, 2016 14:30:59 GMT -5
frozentoes, hugs - can you push the c section back as late as possible (e.g., 42 weeks)? I wouldn't be too concerned about lack of dilation - but I guess seeing no drop would be discouraging.
Whatever happens, it's good you're being honest with yourself re: what you really want. I kept saying I didn't care about this baby's gender but I finally dropped my BS and owned up that I really want a girl. I hope the perspectives above and letting this out gives you more peace, whatever the outcome. Sending you VBAC vibes!
Post by jennistarr1 on Apr 21, 2016 14:33:48 GMT -5
Ok, I am going to pray really hard for you because I know exactly how you feel. They didn't even let me labor that long...they broke my water by 6 pm and I was taken for csection at 1 am. Not even 12 hours!
Post by jennistarr1 on Apr 21, 2016 14:43:26 GMT -5
and as far as dilation...I am convinced that it was almost a bad thing. I dilated early...and then every appointment I dilated more and more. Still I went to 42 weeks and failed induction. I feel like the people that go from 0 to 10 quicker than I went from 3 to 7.
It's so hard waiting and hoping for labor at this stage! If it helps, most second babies don't drop until labor starts, and it took four or five days for my milk to come in even though we did skin to skin right after birth.
Plus, a lot can change in two weeks. In addition to trying to induce labor, you might ask your OB to strip your membranes. I also think it's a great suggestion to talk about how you can avoid some of the negative c-section problems you experienced last time if it becomes necessary.
Post by frozentoes on Apr 21, 2016 15:19:58 GMT -5
simpsongal, It's scheduled for 41 weeks, and they won't let me go any further than that. I'm thankful they are giving me this much time, I know some practices won't let you go past 38 or 39 for a second csection. Also-- I totally wanted a girl for my first and wasn't ashamed to tell people that. Sending you girl vibes! Will you find out at the anatomy scan?
jennistarr1, This is a good point... I do know a lot of people who dilated early and then stalled. Thanks for the perspective.
smock, Everything you said made me feel so much better. :-)
Post by statlerwaldorf on Apr 22, 2016 5:25:58 GMT -5
I had a failed induction withmy first, but I progressed quickly with my second. I didn't have any dilation or anything the Friday before my scheduled c section on a Monday. My water broke and I went into labor Monday morning. I ended up with a c section anyway but it was unrelated to trying for a vbac.
I was able to push my c section date back by agreeing to nsts.
I had a rough delivery with my most recent c section, but that was mostly due to having twins. However I'm 2 weeks out and feel great. I think the recovery is easier compared to my two emergency c sections.
simpsongal, It's scheduled for 41 weeks, and they won't let me go any further than that. I'm thankful they are giving me this much time, I know some practices won't let you go past 38 or 39 for a second csection. Also-- I totally wanted a girl for my first and wasn't ashamed to tell people that. Sending you girl vibes! Will you find out at the anatomy scan?
jennistarr1, This is a good point... I do know a lot of people who dilated early and then stalled. Thanks for the perspective.
smock, Everything you said made me feel so much better. :-)
I had a failed induction withmy first, but I progressed quickly with my second. I didn't have any dilation or anything the Friday before my scheduled c section on a Monday. My water broke and I went into labor Monday morning. I ended up with a c section anyway but it was unrelated to trying for a vbac.
I was able to push my c section date back by agreeing to nsts.
I had a rough delivery with my most recent c section, but that was mostly due to having twins. However I'm 2 weeks out and feel great. I think the recovery is easier compared to my two emergency c sections.
Glad to hear your recovery went well and you are feeling good. Congrats on the twins! It's also something to consider that a scheduled csection is a much different experience then failed induction and a csection after 36 hours of labor. Thanks for sharing.
frozentoes- went to the dr this afternoon. I think we are pretty set on a RCS....my dr (who actually just had her second baby herself in Jan) said she would do the RCS if it were her. She says she can all but guarantee a good experience with a RCS, but cannot with a VBAC. And I told her that ultimately a good experience is most important to me.
She said no prob with immediate skin to skin. She offered to let me pull the baby out (which, hell no, lol). She said that most moms have trouble bfing in the OR because of the position you are in (flat on your back), but if baby latches, awesome. Otherwise, we won't be separated long and can still bf as soon as I'm out of recovery.
I feel a LOT better about the RCS now, and am at peace with how this is probably going to happen
OB says she won't let me go any later than 39 weeks, so baby will be here by June 15th or so. Earlier if bp starts going up.
Post by frozentoes on Apr 22, 2016 15:37:35 GMT -5
Elsa, Thank you so much for stopping back to update me. I'm so glad you got so much good news. I'm glad your doctor was so favorable to immediate skin-to-skin. I definitely get what she's saying about the breastfeeding, but I agree that if you won't be separated too long then it still works out.
I have a lot to talk to my doctor about next week. My next appointment I'll be at my due date, so we'll see where I'm at then.
Post by frozentoes on Apr 22, 2016 15:38:54 GMT -5
Also, pinotgrig, I listened to that podcast (Episode 72) on my way home yesterday and it was SO interesting. A lot of really good info-- thanks for recommending!
Post by meredithblake on Apr 22, 2016 16:39:05 GMT -5
frozentoes, Elsa, - I thought I'd give you ladies another perspective! I had a C-section with my first after laboring 18 hours and pushing for 3 hours. I didn't feel like my experience was that ideal and recovery was hard. To be honest, my experience wasn't terrible though as I was just happy labor was finally over and I could move on to recovering haha.
With my second, I opted for a RCS. I wanted to be in control of my experience and didn't want to go through labor and end up with a CS again. While I didn't do a "gentle CS", pull the baby out, or breastfeed in the OR, I felt like my experience was way better the second time! I cried when they pulled her out. I hadn't with baby #1, I think because I was in such shock and emotionally drained. But with baby #2, I had mentally prepared for the moment and knew exactly what to expect! She laid by my head or in my DH arms the whole time they finished up. I think I was in the recovery room and breastfeeding within 30 min to an hour. Even though it was a RCS, it still felt very real and intimate to me (more than the first time).
frozentoes- went to the dr this afternoon. I think we are pretty set on a RCS....my dr (who actually just had her second baby herself in Jan) said she would do the RCS if it were her. She says she can all but guarantee a good experience with a RCS, but cannot with a VBAC. And I told her that ultimately a good experience is most important to me.
She said no prob with immediate skin to skin. She offered to let me pull the baby out (which, hell no, lol). She said that most moms have trouble bfing in the OR because of the position you are in (flat on your back), but if baby latches, awesome. Otherwise, we won't be separated long and can still bf as soon as I'm out of recovery.
I feel a LOT better about the RCS now, and am at peace with how this is probably going to happen
OB says she won't let me go any later than 39 weeks, so baby will be here by June 15th or so. Earlier if bp starts going up.
I had a primary section. Some things that helped make it a wonderful experience: - scopolamine patch and nausea meds before surgery instead of after - watched in a mirror - after NICU cleared him skin to skin for the remainder of surgery - extended recovery (we were in there 3 hours of just skin to skin and nursing) - ate crackers and Sprite immediately after - walked 5 hours after surgery Also, having a 4 pm surgery was awesome. They gave me Ambien the night before so I got some solid sleep. Went out to breakfast (finish by 8 am). Came home and had a super long bath, watched TV, played with the dog, etc. Got the hospital by 2, in recovery at 8 so too late for anyone to visit. Had the whole first evening to ourselves
Post by frozentoes on Apr 25, 2016 17:32:17 GMT -5
boiler717 That sounds like a pretty ideal scenario! I'm definitely warming up to the idea of the scheduled csection next Friday. If I go into labor on my own before that, it'll just be a nice surprise. Glad your experience was so positive!
I am not sure how much this helped, but I tried dates, pineapple, walking and yoga ball. I went into labor while sitting on the yoga ball, after a long walk (13k steps for day) and pineapple the day before. I had been eating dates for a couple weeks. Baby was high up and didn't drop until the end with the help of pictocin.