"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by CheeringCharm on May 2, 2016 10:16:04 GMT -5
I don't think this woman is the one to make the case for it but I do think there should be much greater work/life balance in the US generally and I definitelt support sabbaticals for non care giving reasons (not that anyone cares what I think, lol). I don't think it makes sense to turn this into a competition between parents and non parents or give it some stupid name like "Me-ternity." Pretty much all Americans should get more time off.
Post by thebreakfastclub on May 2, 2016 10:17:34 GMT -5
My baby was the easier part of maternity leave.
Having to drive myself and my 2 week old to the OB for a blood pressure check post c/section, while worrying how I was going to get us through a parking lot in winter without my incision acting up...
What's sad/awesome is that, just the book, as a comedic work of fiction, could probably have done pretty well. But then she has to go and talk, and it comes out that she's not actually kidding and spews the rest of that garbage.. And now she probably tanked her book, too! If she would've done an interview and said, "oh, I've seen friends struggle with newborns and I completely understand how hard THAT is, but in this book, the character needs an escape *without* the responsibilities, and a fake pregnancy was the best idea she could come up with! Burnout as a result of our current work culture is a real problem that doesn't have a good real-world solution, unfortunately. I was hoping to shed light on how toxic that culture has really become, while also telling a kind of ridiculous and light-hearted story," homegirl would be A-ok. But NEWP.
I really have never in my life wanted to punch someone in the face as much as I do right now.
Absolutely the work demands in this country are crushing and unrealistic at best, and absolutely they need to be changed, but how dare this woman add to the chorus of (mostly male) voices who dismiss maternity leave as something that needs fixing, who expect women to give birth and heal from birth and learn how to care for a totally reliant human being in a matter of six to twelve weeks (six weeks though, let's be real) and then criticize when they can't, or when they falter. Yes, it's a choice (but let's not forget that it's slowly and steadily becoming less of a choice) to have a child, but as far as I know, women are still only giving birth to babies, not babies AND bootstraps. To imply maternity leave is some sort of VACATION that should allow for others to have "meternity" leave, when in reality it's a weeks-long struggle for even the most seasoned of women (and that's if a woman can even TAKE LEAVE TO BEGIN WITH), is so incredibly insulting I can't even really get my thoughts in order besides incredulous sputtering.
It actually took me way too long to realize where the different spelling was coming from in Meternity. Then, when it hit me that it was "Me-ternity" I about puked from entitlement overload.
It actually took me way too long to realize where the different spelling was coming from in Meternity. Then, when it hit me that it was "Me-ternity" I about puked from entitlement overload.
It actually took me way too long to realize where the different spelling was coming from in Meternity. Then, when it hit me that it was "Me-ternity" I about puked from entitlement overload.
Somebody should have told her to sit down before this ever got published. Such self-absorbed nonsense. Yes, parenthood is excellent for balance and self-actualization! It is not at all the opposite of that, she is so right. I recommend she give it a try.
Like @tambcat said, sabbaticals do exist. In fact, they're pretty common in academia. So all she needs to do in order to get a paid sabbatical is (1) earn a PhD, (2) get a tenure-track job at an institution that offers paid sabbaticals, (3) kiss ass and work your butt off for six years, and publish some stuff, (4) be awarded tenure, and BOOM--sabbatical! Unfortunately, academia pays shit so she'd probably be better off saving up to take unpaid leave every few years.
Post by emoflamingo on May 2, 2016 10:42:11 GMT -5
I get 6 personal days a year starting every September 1st. I have to use my last one this Friday because my sitter is off in the morning and my husband is out of state at a conference until that evening. I used exactly 0 of my personal days on myself this year.
What's sad/awesome is that, just the book, as a comedic work of fiction, could probably have done pretty well. But then she has to go and talk, and it comes out that she's not actually kidding and spews the rest of that garbage.. And now she probably tanked her book, too! If she would've done an interview and said, "oh, I've seen friends struggle with newborns and I completely understand how hard THAT is, but in this book, the character needs an escape *without* the responsibilities, and a fake pregnancy was the best idea she could come up with! Burnout as a result of our current work culture is a real problem that doesn't have a good real-world solution, unfortunately. I was hoping to shed light on how toxic that culture has really become, while also telling a kind of ridiculous and light-hearted story," homegirl would be A-ok. But NEWP.
Yes the concept is very Sophie Kinsella and if she had sold it as that 'oh this girl is such a mess and so burned out that she comes up with this crazy idea to get maternity leave' it probably would've been a fun and popularish book that people would've read as comedic.
The mere face that she thinks parenthood in any way equates flexibility shows how uniformed and ignorant she is. This article, and I guess the book too, is ridiculous and is trying to shift something that is critical for new parents to a self-indulgent tantrum.
Yes, I think everyone needs a good balance of work and non-work life and I think taking a sabbatical would be beneficial to everyone, but let's not confuse that and what it is actually like adjusting to life with a newborn and the myriad hiccups and complications that might occur not to mention all the shit that NOBODY tells you will/might happen post-partum.
Do we need to discuss work life balance. Yes. Would ALL people who work benefit from a break sometimes to do something personally rewarding. Probably yes Does it benefit society as a whole to allow parents time to bond with their kids and to not come into work when they are bleeding and sleep deprived? Yes. Is maternity leave a rewarding relaxing personal development time? No*. IS this woman an idiot for comparing a sabbatical with maternity leave? Hell yes.
*And I say this as someone who recovered fairly easily and had help and a fairly easy baby.
Agree 100%.
I mean when I didn't have kids I would take my vacation time as a lump and do something really rewarding for myself. Maternity isn't a vacation.
When I saw this a few days ago I stupidly researched her and it says she had taken her own 'meternity' to travel the world and write a book.
Because that's what we all did on maternity right? Did a ton of travel and worked on a lifelong dream. Idiot. I don't use that term lightly and this woman is truly a self centered moron.
I truly truly hope she has a kid one day. I wish upon her the most colicky baby in the history of babies who doesn't sleep more than 15 minutes at a time until 8 months old. Because that is what I had on my hands while she was out traveling the world.
"parenthood was the only path that provided a modicum of flexibility"
I'm not even a parent and that made LO fucking L. Come ON. This writer sounds incredibly self-centered, to the point that she only sees maternity leave as how unfair it is to her.
Ditto whoever said "it's called vacation." I've had coworkers who have accumulated some of their vacation time or negotiated extra time (with or without pay) to take a long break each year. I get that it's possible to work too much and get burned out, but blaming parents for her dissatisfaction is bullshit.