What do you think about "meternity" leave?

[sapphireblue]

She is such a fucking idiot.

Her larger message of having a good work-life balance, coworkers supporting each other in this, and making sure she isn't putting too much pressure on herself to work late is good.

Don't see what the fuck it has to do with women taking maternity leave, though.

Her insistence on linking what she is advocating for to women who just had a baby is so insulting. It got me all fired up. As though I had any time for self-reflection or anything else with a newborn! She sounds incredibly ignorant of the realities of having a new baby.

[sapphireblue]

May 2, 2016 11:11:26 GMT -5 hopecounts said:

May 2, 2016 10:18:10 GMT -5 FastHands said:

What's sad/awesome is that, just the book, as a comedic work of fiction, could probably have done pretty well.
But then she has to go and talk, and it comes out that she's not actually kidding and spews the rest of that garbage.. And now she probably tanked her book, too! If she would've done an interview and said, "oh, I've seen friends struggle with newborns and I completely understand how hard THAT is, but in this book, the character needs an escape *without* the responsibilities, and a fake pregnancy was the best idea she could come up with! Burnout as a result of our current work culture is a real problem that doesn't have a good real-world solution, unfortunately. I was hoping to shed light on how toxic that culture has really become, while also telling a kind of ridiculous and light-hearted story," homegirl would be A-ok. But NEWP.

Yes the concept is very Sophie Kinsella and if she had sold it as that 'oh this girl is such a mess and so burned out that she comes up with this crazy idea to get maternity leave' it probably would've been a fun and popularish book that people would've read as comedic.

Exactly! But now I'm all fired up and angry at her and there is NO WAY I will read her stupid book.

[cinnamoncox0]

May 2, 2016 10:24:39 GMT -5 Serenity9 said:

It actually took me way too long to realize where the different spelling was coming from in Meternity. Then, when it hit me that it was "Me-ternity" I about puked from entitlement overload.

Yeah so barf worthy
I originally was thinking it was supposed to be like a "cute" (gag) "ME-eternity"

I hate this bitch.

[miso]

May 2, 2016 9:21:42 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

I mean...selfishly I wish this existed. It would allow me proper time to bond with a lot of TV shows. But realistically...no. I can't put finishing Breaking Bad in the same space as recovering from birthing a child, LOL.

But this is precisely what I did during maternity leave, as ML can attest.

[pantsparty]

May 2, 2016 13:48:25 GMT -5 miso said:

May 2, 2016 9:21:42 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

I mean...selfishly I wish this existed. It would allow me proper time to bond with a lot of TV shows. But realistically...no. I can't put finishing Breaking Bad in the same space as recovering from birthing a child, LOL.

But this is precisely what I did during maternity leave, as ML can attest.

Yes, but you also had a baby in your care. And the baby did not disappear when your ML concluded. 

I would be all over this but I don't want a baby messing with my TV bonding time.

[pinkeggs]

Comparing maternity leave to child free vacation is making me giggle. Totes the same thing! Just add a little blood, soft tissue damage, hormones on steroids, drippy nips, and a newfound hatred for your spouse formed from sleep deprivation and yes!!! Leave for all!

Aka you all covered everything lol

[clseale]

I know this is nowhere near the point & way off topic, but here I go. I know it's MEternity, but I keep reading it as MERternity. Sort of like the ermahgerd, and I keep laughing.

[pantsparty]

May 2, 2016 14:19:06 GMT -5 clseale said:

I know this is nowhere near the point & way off topic, but here I go. I know it's MEternity, but I keep reading it as MERternity. Sort of like the ermahgerd, and I keep laughing.

MERTERNITY LEARVE.

[Alex]

I definitely agree with others who say that work-life balance has to be a priority for all regardless of family status. I can't even tell you how many times I have been told that I should offer to work on holidays because I don't have children. On a particularly bad day, I quietly asked if my six dead children counted. Probably not the kindest answer but man, my Christmas is not all merry and bright. It's sad and depressing and I would like to hunker down with my husband until it passes.

Working later than others is an excuse. I'm sure it's not required. I'll pitch in if someone has an emergency but I'm not staying later than my scheduled end time regularly. My family is just as important as anyone else's even if it is just the two of us.

(I would like to say that I am bummed that after 16 years at this job, I will not get to use my contracted mat leave. 98% of my pay for a year. Boo.)

[tiki]

Another vote for being able to take a sabbatical (such as to complete a personal project, lean a new skill, or travel) without harming your professional reputation.

The comparison to maternity leave is just dumb and ruining what would otherwise be a good idea. 

[formerlyak]

May 2, 2016 10:20:18 GMT -5 WOUNDTIGHT said:

FUCKING MILLENIALS.

That was my initial reaction. Until I read that she is 38!

[sweetpea508]

I don't feel like being civil. She's obnoxious or obtuse, or both. Way to have empathy for others.

[slcjess]

My work actually offers a paid 4-week sabbatical for every 5 years you're with the company, and yet, when we started offering 12w paid parental leave (to men and women) which can be taken all at once or intermittently through baby's first year, someone (an older gentleman) STILL stood up in an all hands meeting with our v.p. and asked how they were going to 'make it up' to the people who don't have kids. This person has been there 10 years so he has take TWO paid sabbaticals, which is more time than most mothers get to recover from a traumatic event. Plus, people usin that paid parental leave are often using it to take care of sick babies, etc. he went to Europe on his last sabbatical.

[RoxMonster]

May 2, 2016 10:42:10 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

Update! The author is on The View right now. She says this book is a satire and she doesn't share this view. Hmm

LOL. This is called "My actual opinion went over like a lead balloon, so now I have to save face."

And as far as my opinion on this BS, coming from a fellow non-parent, this is some of the dumbest stuff I have heard in a long while.

[gibbinator]

May 2, 2016 9:26:13 GMT -5 Kristinmo said:

May 2, 2016 9:19:37 GMT -5 hopecounts said:

And don't disagree that we need a national conversation about work-life balance but this is not the way to go about it.

100% agree with this.  I am so jealous of my counterparts in Europe where thee expectation is take multi week vacations annually and they truly stick to working during only business hours.  

Yes, I work for a company based out of France and they never, ever, contact me on a weekend or expect me to work outside normal business hours, despite the fact that doing so is super common in my industry. It's the bomb.

Back to the author, yeah, she has no idea what it means to have kids. I lol at the idea that going home at 6pm to your cranky children is something to be jealous of. She clearly thinks kids and babies just raise themselves.

[Linie]

May 2, 2016 9:26:40 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Also, I fucking bristle at the notion that lady-types need a break from work cuz it's HARD.

GIRL, gtfo. We're fighting for equal pay, and you're spewing this nonsense that we can't hack it? GHAAAA.

Totally agree. What she wants is called a "holiday", a "break" or a "sabbatical".

Open for moms, dads, workers without children.

[residentdj]

Just revisiting this thread to post this little nugget that I saw on fb this morning


yackler.ca/want-maternity-leave-without-kids-ok-heres-go/

So, you want maternity leave without kids? OK. Here’s how that should go.


In a New York Post article that’s gone viral this week, Meghann Foye, argues for “Meternity” leave – something she imagines has “all the perks of maternity leave – without having kids.”



It’s a silly little article posted for the purpose of marketing her novel “Meternity… about a woman who fakes a pregnancy and discovers some hard truths about what it’s really like to ‘have it all.'” And it’s done a fairly good job of that, I assume, since there’s a slew of discussion on the subject flaring all over the internet.



My favourite parts are where she argues that this is about women “putting themselves first” and that she should get both “Meternity” leave and maternity leave if she decides to have kids later. Why not just take the rest of your life?



Really though, the article isn’t actually as stupid or as the headline makes it seem – she’s basically arguing for paid time off to find yourself – which you either support or you don’t. And for all I know the book is awesome and insightful.



But her piece did get me thinking about what a “maternity leave without kids” would look like. So, I drew up a list of suggested rules guidelines, and now I think that this is a great idea.



Here’s how I think it should go. If you abide by these rules I see no reason why this shouldn’t be a thing:



Official rules and guidelines for maternity leave without kids:



1. You must gain at least 30 pounds before you leave work. Half of people are required to gain twice that.



2. At the beginning of your leave, you must spend one night getting punched in the abdomen until you feel pain like you’ve never felt before.



3. A random selection of people are also required to develop a wound of some sort. A sliced opening from your vagina to your anus is one option. Another is a slice through your abdomen and into your uterus. Or just stab yourself in the eye. Whatever.



4. For the first six months, whenever you try to sleep, somewhere between every 15 minutes to two hours, an alarm will go off. For the second six months that time may stretch to six hours. But who knows?



5. No sleeping between the hours of 11 pm and six am.



6. All of your non-sleeping time must be devoted to some sort of selfless service. Volunteering for a charity doing something like building houses or bathing badgers. There are no specific instructions as to how to carry out your duties in this service, and all the advice you can find online is conflicting. One thing you will know for sure is that you’re probably doing everything wrong.



7. Here’s a weird thing: A bear or a cougar or something scary will be unleashed in your house and will be threatening everything you love. But you can’t see it and you are the only person who knows its there. Nobody believes you. You know you sound crazy but IT’S THERE.



8. You must rub sandpaper over your nipples until they are red and bleeding. Once this is achieved, you are required to tug on them 15,000 times a day. You may opt out of this but you are required to feel like a terrible person.



9. You can only shower once a week max.



10. You may wear clean clothes for ten minutes out of the day. A bucket of vomit, pee, poop, and food scraps will be provided to you from which you must splash the vomit and food on your clothes when the 10 minutes are up.



11. Every task you set out to do must be performed in intervals. If you are washing the dishes, you may only wash three dishes, then go bathe some badgers or build a house. Then three more dishes, then badgers (or house).



12. If you have time to exercise off the extra weight and keep a clean house you are not doing enough selfless service and more will be assigned to you.



13. If you have a partner, no sex for the first six months.



14. You may not leave the house to see any friends for the first six months unless you take a badger (or a house) with you. If you take it to a restaurant, people will be assigned to look annoyed, because they don’t want badgers and houses in their public spaces. If you need them to move to make room for your badger or house they will be really annoyed. You will be expected to just suck it up because you chose this and you don’t deserve special treatment.



15. You may not leave the house at night in the hours during which you are not allowed to sleep.



16. An assortment of assigned strangers will come up to you and tell you how to live and bathe badgers and build houses, and that you’re doing it wrong. You are not allowed to tell them to eff off because that would be rude.



17. A government official will come to your house on a monthly basis to make sure you are feeling sufficiently isolated, overwhelmed and confused. If you are not, an additional invisible bear will be released into your home.



18. A random 10% – 15% of you will be selected to suffer from severe depression and/or anxiety.



19. After a few months of this you will be required to listen to some asshat talk about how lucky you are and how they deserve the same super great privileges. When you try to explain that it’s not as easy as one might imagine, you’ll be blasted with the argument that you chose this, so it’s your own fault really. You will want to explain that people’s lives shouldn’t really by broken down to those sorts of judgement calls but you’ll realize that this is so outside of the other person’s realm of understanding that you won’t know where to start, because you might even have thought the same thing before your own super awesome MEternity live. So, you’ll just sigh and walk away. Because, forget it.



20. You can actually take more than one MEternity leave. With each subsequent leave, you must do all the same things while looking after an additional untrained primate of some sort – say an affectionate but obstinate adolescent baboon. So, two leaves, one baboon. Three leaves, two baboons. You must not lose your patience with the baboons. (Of course, maternity is way better with actual kids because kids are better to have around the house than baboons. [Or so I imagine. I’ve never had a baboon in my house.] But you’re the one who doesn’t want the kids.)



That’s what I’ve got so far. Let me know if you have any other suggestions and I’ll draw up a policy.