how important is "cool" clothing to a kid? say middle school

[cleo29]

age.

I know it is shallow concern, but how important do you remember it being having maybe a certain pair of sneakers or jacket?

There are some things going on for one of our nephews, which is hitting H pretty hard because it is very similar to what he went through, he remembers this being one of things that contributed to things for him and just how he felt about himself.

[curtains]

It was, and is VERY important to my 15 year old since she was about 12 years old.

She would rather second hand brand name clothes than brand new off brand clothes. She doesn't want to stand out she just wants to blend in. Jeans and shoes seem like the most important to her. (Converse, Vans etc)

She gets a lot of gift cards for xmas and her birthday and the rest of the year is supplemented with clothes from Platos Closet. (A second hand store designed for teens that has name brand clothes)

Edited for clarity

[Deleted]

HUGE. It was sooo important to me to have the " right " Starter Jacket, or Z Cavarichi's or BUM Equipment sweatshirt in 6th grade.

By 7th grade I was over that and more into grunge where I just wanted flannels and Docs.

[pantsparty]

I was SO SO SO SO SO jealous of the girls who had American Eagle and Abercrombie & Fitch clothes through high school. I think it's part of the reason I have SO MANY clothes now. I remember saving babysitting money around that age so I could buy an Adidas jacket.

[Deleted]

May 2, 2016 12:00:43 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

I was the last one of my friends to get a hyper color shirt and I was devistated and uncool.

I was trying to think of Hyper Color. 

[Deleted]

May 2, 2016 12:01:38 GMT -5 @32flavors said:

Don't even get me started on my lack of Z Cavariccis.

Sad story. I was too fat to fit in Z Cavaricci's. 

[sugarbear]

It's pretty important.

[cleo29]

May 2, 2016 11:59:38 GMT -5 curtains said:

It was, and is VERY important to my 15 year old since about 12 years old.

She would rather second hand brand name clothes than brand new. She doesn't stand out she just wants to blend in. Jeans and shoes seem like the most important to her.

She gets a lot of gift cards for xmas and her birthday and the reat of the year os supplemented with clothes from Platos Closet. (A second hand store designed for teens that has name brand clothes)

I am not sure if that is part of it, but I would not be surprised since he is now in a school without a uniform. 

I think when these things do not matter that much to the parents, they forget it might matter very much to their children.

I don't have firm details on what is going on, but I just hurt for this kid. He is so smart, but also has a tremendous amount of pressure on him to always do great, if not the best. That can be a lot for a kid to carry.

[oliviapope]

I hate that it's so important, but it really was. I was made fun of for not having any name brand shoes, started in 7th grade so like 12 or 13. I still remember it vividly.

[thatgirl2478]

Yes! It was a BIG deal to have a hypercolor shirt ... and IOU, BUM, ESPIRIT, Z Cavaricci, Guess, etc... Umbro was just starting to get 'big'... Eastlake shoes were still a thing...

[cleo29]

May 2, 2016 12:04:18 GMT -5 oliviapope said:

I hate that it's so important, but it really was. I was made fun of for not having any name brand shoes, started in 7th grade so like 12 or 13. I still remember it vividly.

H was bullied for a long time in grade school, his mom has no memory of this at all, but one year he wanted some nikes since he was teased, among other things, about his clothes and shoes.

Sometimes, a kid just needs that one thing to feel good and confident. It all makes me sad.

[cabbagecabbage]

Really important. Like, I still remember getting real Umbros at 8 and the pain of not getting real Guess jeans in junior high. I was poorer than most in my school, lower middle class with a single mom and there were some things that were never going to happen.

[textbookcase]

It was huge when I was in middle school, I remember Guess stuff was super popular. And the whole knee highs and baby doll dresses. C is in 6th grade and it doesn't seem to be a huge deal, at least not with the crowd she hangs out with. I don't know if it's just that she's not in traditional school or what, but most of her friends go to public school and it seems to be kind of a non-issue around here.

[jenna]

Pretty important.

[cleo29]

May 2, 2016 12:10:48 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

May 2, 2016 12:05:20 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

My mom was never big into appearances and I felt like she didn't really understand or care why it was important to me.

Well maybe that's not fair because she did make all those floral dresses and a couple of plaid skirts when I was in middle school. She probably would have rather just bought whatever fit and met the dress code regardless of whether I liked it. But I feel like she tried too hard to downplay the importance of looks or style. Didn't encourage me to shave my legs or tweeze my eyebrows- so I waited longer than a lot of my peers on both of those, had a "whatever" attitude about makeup. I appreciate what she was trying to do, but I hope I find a more happy medium.

yeah, I think it is that fine line of wanting your daughter/son to feel confident and love themselves regardless of the physical and maybe superficial stuff, but the reality is that all that other stuff can play into how we feel. And for each person that might be something different. But ignoring it doesn't make it any less important.

I think you will find that medium with your girls.

[CurlyQ284]

It's very important to SDs (13 and 14)

[jeaniebueller]

I remember in Jr high being very conscious about fashion and what was "in style." Which is why I owned Get Used jeans and IOU shirts. LOL

[Deleted]

I had the payless version of the 3-stripe adidas shoes.


I was really sad about it. Still am I guess. LOL.

[jeaniebueller]

May 2, 2016 12:04:18 GMT -5 oliviapope said:

I hate that it's so important, but it really was. I was made fun of for not having any name brand shoes, started in 7th grade so like 12 or 13. I still remember it vividly.

I remember in 5th grade for little league cheerleading that my mom would not buy me the name brand shoes that everyone wore and that we were supposed to have with our uniforms and instead bought me knock off white leather athletic shoes from payless. I was really embarrassed and she did not get how important it was to me at all.

[Gato]

It was pretty much everything at my middle school. I was a nonconformist who would purposely NOT buy the cool jeans or shoes and, well, nobody ever congratulated me for it, lol. I wasn't picked on much, but the cool girls had all the right clothes, for sure. In Maine in the 80's, that was Bass boat shoes, Tretorn sneakers, Izod polos, Jordache jeans or Levi's 501s, big huge Benneton sweaters or OP shirts.

[Deleted]

Very important. 

Kids are shallow in middle school. They have no depth.  It's all clothing, well, maybe some hair too.  It's all about packaging at that age. 

[mortomo]

I was somewhat of an outcast in school because my parents couldn't afford to buy me Guess jeans, Hang Ten or Benetton brand clothes. Those were the cool brands in middle and high school. I went to school with mostly rich kids who got whatever they wanted.

My DS hasn't ever really been into brand names for clothes, but in middle and high school he really wanted certain brands of shoes (DC, Etnies, Nike), so I made sure he had at least one pair of 'cool' shoes. I didn't want him to go through what I did in school getting made fun of because my parents were too 'poor' to buy me expensive clothes.

ETA:  my mom also sewed a lot of my clothes. I hated it but never had the heart to tell her.  My sophomore year in HS my school started allowing us to wear jeans to school and that made fitting in even worse! 

[shortstax]

Question: so what are the big brands for middle-schoolers now?

UA? Adidas? North Face?

I'm probably off-base.

[tellmesomethingood]

May 2, 2016 12:05:20 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I don't know if this is flameful or if I should be discouraging such shallowness, but I hope to be able to buy the girls more "cool" clothing and name brand stuff than I had as a kid.

My mom was never big into appearances and I felt like she didn't really understand or care why it was important to me.

I plan to do the same.

[game blouses]

I was in an experimental class in 7th grade where they made us wear uniforms. Uniforms in middle school when you've never had to wear them before is the absolute pits. But there were still cool ways to wear them (untucked shirts, rolling up skirts and shorts) that got us in trouble but were still cooler than not doing it.

I think there was a backlash in high school because we were all pretty image focused at that point. Luckily my mom let me wear stuff that blended in; her mom made all her clothes and she knew how it felt to stick out.

[Mrs. ChanandlerBong]

I don't remember really worrying about labels myself, however I do know it's important to most kids. And maybe it's a flameful, IDK, but on more than one occasion I've gone with Walmart stuff for me so my DD can have the name brand stuff (she's too young to have a job to pay for it herself). Even though I wasn't into fashion, I was super self-conscious and never really felt like I fit in. If I can alleviate some of that for her, I will.

[youhadmycuriosity]

May 2, 2016 12:22:29 GMT -5 @pnkbride said:

Middle school is when peer acceptance is at it's highest. Most kids want to fit in and not be seen as different at all. Clothing is a HUGE deal at this age.

That's where I was in middle school. I had spent the first 7 years of school being an awkward shy kid, and it meant a lot to me that my parents let me buy a couple pieces so I wouldn't stand out too much.

As an adult, I care about clothing not at all, so it certainly didn't set up any sort of precedent in my case, but at that age I think it was actually instrumental in giving me confidence.

[FastHands]

May 2, 2016 12:05:20 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I don't know if this is flameful or if I should be discouraging such shallowness, but I hope to be able to buy the girls more "cool" clothing and name brand stuff than I had as a kid.

My mom was never big into appearances and I felt like she didn't really understand or care why it was important to me.

Me too. We never had the $ so it was less about my mom not understanding and more about not being able to do anything about it. I hope we're in a position to do it, at least sometimes. I will also cash in on that crap and make the kid clean until his hands are pruny to earn it. heh

[Deleted]

Oh man, I lost a lot of friends in middle school because people started to realize I was poor. I had one pair of cheap sneakers, 5 pairs of pants, 5 shirts. I literally wore the same outfits every week. Clothes came from Walmart, JCP, Kmart. I was super self conscious and shy. :( I wore kids clothes until 9th grade because I was tiny and they were cheaper. All I ever requested for birthdays and Christmas was clothes. 4 child household with a single mom who was laid off from factory jobs frequently. MS and HS SUCKED.

[callmehales]

looking back, i'm surprised i didn't care more in middle school....i dressed like a 40 year old lady in a 12 year old body. lots of eddie bauer, tapestry vests...i did have a few things that felt "cooler" to me, like a velour striped tee (oh 1996...whyyyyyy).

the one thing i remember being SO important to me was having a "cool" bag to carry my gym clothes in. like, i rocked that plastic drawstring bag from the Gap TO DEATH.