I am FED UP with fucking ball season.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

I don't know why I do this shit.  Now H is on the board with me, so we're even more involved.

We usually start the season with about 20K.  This year, we had 700.  Because the past president is a one-balled MORON.

(He really does have one ball.  Why do I know this?  Because he tells people.  He often tells us all, all the time, of what he's going to have to do the rest of the day, including getting in the shower.  Moron.)

Friend and her husband, H, and I, and a few other board members are trying desperately to save the league.  Former president (who is a coach because the local chapter president is a cuntcanoe and undercut us when we tried to not give him His team) insisted we buy him new catchers gear, in his team's colors.  We said we'd buy a black set so it could be used by any team needing it.  He refused, SAID, "I only wanted it to match my team", REFUSED to vote on the decision to purchase the gear for the rest of the teams (nice safety priorities), and found one of his parent's employers to buy just his team catchers gear, for his son, in his colors.  This is one example of half a week's worth of shit he's pulled.

We're currently $1300 in the hole, and still have to pull off Opening Day.  The only way we're doing it so far is H and I sinking more money from the business in to sponsor awards (bringing our financial contribution to one softball team, 2 outfield billboards, Opening Day awards, and this list depresses me).

Moron and Cuntcanoe are trying to push the four of us out of the league because there's SO MANY COMPLAINTS about how we're running things because how dare we not let them get what they want and HOW DARE WE question where all the fucking money went.

And I am pulling tricks out of my ass trying to fundraise NONE OF THESE PARENTS WILL PARTICIPATE, I CAN'T EVEN GET THEM TO WORK THE CONCESSION STAND AND I'M SETTING THE FIELDS, THE FIELDS, THE FIELDS ON FIRE DON'T NEED NO MORE OF MY MONEY LET THE MOTHERFUCKERS BURN.

(cheer season is staring up soon.  yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.)

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel better now.

[sparkythelawyer]

Fuck that. Let them push you out

[mom2twoboys]

You don't need that stress in your life. Let them fall on their asses without y'all.

[bittybomb]

My husband is a LL coach and I want to scratch eyeballs out every goddamned fucking game when I overhear some jerk complaining about the schedule, or the practices, or the fucking concession stand. Either put your money where your fucking big mouth is and donate either time or money or shut the fuck up.

[textbookcase]

I was on the ll board and leaving that shit was the best decision of my life

[Deleted]

That gave me heart palpitations. You are in a shitty position but I am so glad you aren't letting this douchebag ego coaches bully you

[Deleted]

Time to find a new league.

[my3boyz]

Where did the other 19K players go? Obviously there must be another league in the area so why not just leave? This sounds like a lot of money, time and drama for some kids baseball.

[muffin0]

May 3, 2016 8:52:35 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

May 3, 2016 8:27:12 GMT -5 my3boyz said:

Where did the other 19K players go? Obviously there must be another league in the area so why not just leave? This sounds like a lot of money, time and drama for some kids baseball.

I was confused by that but I figured she means $$ not players.

So the guy was just missing $19k of money?!

They usually start with $20,000 this year they had $700.
(Which is how I understood it)

[my3boyz]

May 3, 2016 8:52:35 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

May 3, 2016 8:27:12 GMT -5 my3boyz said:

Where did the other 19K players go? Obviously there must be another league in the area so why not just leave? This sounds like a lot of money, time and drama for some kids baseball.

I was confused by that but I figured she means $$ not players.

So the guy was just missing $19k of money?!

Oops, reading fail! That makes more sense, 20k players would be a huge league.

[ginger]

Sometimes you have to let the train crash.

It's time.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Yeah, sorry, it's usually $20K. I'm hyperventilating at the idea of that many players.

Apparently money flies out easily when you're a selfish dumbass spending money that's not yours. Uniforms cost $12000 last year, this year we spent $6000. Last year, they spent another six grand renovating the bleachers, but used the wrong kind of wood and never finished it and they're splintering and warping already.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Update: they broke me and I did a huge, giant, FUCK YOU DICKS quit. Laaaaaaaaalalaaaaaaaaaaa

[speckledfrog]

Well, that's not enough information.

[sparkythelawyer]

Let the tequila flow!

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

May 5, 2016 19:25:11 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Well, that's not enough information.

OK, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

This will probably get really confusing.  I'll try to carry on succinctly (lol).

-We obtained a new concession manager (CM) who is a halfwit.  H and I managed to secure a $100 donation Tuesday night, then found out that she's blown through an extra $2000, when her budget was 1K.  Flipped out.
-Friend (President) asked us to hold the key to the concession stand for the game last night - her son's game was an hour away and she was afraid CM wouldn't show up (she had just sent her an email asking her to stop the biweekly trips to Sams, Jesus Christ, and CM was all, "I never knew there was a budget", after sitting at the last meeting where we talked about how concession wasn't making any money and we have -$1300.)  She announced to Former President (Moron) that we had the key if she didn't show.
-Never get a call.  Drive by field and there's a game on, but stand is closed.  Flipped out.
-President asks Moron what's up.  They said they didn't have H's number and it was ridiculous.  They have been whining over not having a key to the concession stand all season.  We highly suspect they were stealing from it last year.

President of Regional Board (Fucking Cuntcanoe) sends this email last night.

A concern was brought to me by several parents and board members tonight. I hate to send an email out to everyone, but I believe that this really is an issue that the entire board needs to be aware of and address. We keep hearing about the financial distress that the league is currently in, but there was a major boys game at the * field tonight in which many people attended. Yet, there was NO concession stand. From what I understand, no one with a key was able to get there to open the stand. I completely understand that we all have children involved and attending games for our own children is (and should be) the priority. No one, including the concession manager, treasurer, or president, can nor should be expected to be at the * field every night. I understand the desire to limit the amount of traffic in and out of the concession stand, but it seems to be inhibiting our league's ability to make money. I believe that each manager should have access to a key. We did promise the * that we would attempt to keep very few keys in the hands of as few amount of people as possible, and I believe that the attempt has been made. However, it is clearly not working effectively. I would like to suggest that we get a key into the shed so that managers can open the stand before their games. They should not have to track board members down to try to get the stand open.

In addition, at least 3 board members were at that game. Yet, none of them were given access to a key. I (the VP of the area) also would have been available to open the stand since my son did not have a game tonight. Communication within our board seems to be a major problem. It seems as though the same few people are kept abreast of what is going on with this league while the rest of us seem to be on a "need-to-know" basis. It is most effective to keep as many people informed as possible so that when we have a situation like this come up, multiple people will have the ability to help.

I really am hoping that this email does not cause any hard feelings or offend anyone. I hope it is helpful in moving forward successfully for the remainder of our season.

As an aside, the reason there are only three keys this year is that the group owning the stand was so upset with Moron's conduct last year, we almost lost use of the stand (and port-a-potties, and the local YMCA, and the mower...).

I began typing an email, while Hot Headed H (who earlier had to be nearly physically blocked from leaving the house by me to go confront Moron) frantically called President and her husband (who were sleeping because now it's midnight), yelling, "YOU GOT TO TALK HER DOWN!  SHE'S GOING ROUGE!  SHE'S WRITING lots of swears!!!"

After agreeing to sleep on it, I woke up even  more resolved.  This is my reply.

Actually, H and I were given the key (living two doors down from President and a three minute drive from * Field) in case CM didn't show up (again). Although the Morons were made aware of this, they decided not to bother calling us. Their excuse was that they don't have H's number, which is odd, considering

1- President has sent out board member contact lists several times;
2 - They have my number and their Team Mom has my number;
3 - H's giant face with phone number are on a sign, staring at you from the outfield;

4 - Not one board member attempted to contact President. Not one board member attempted to contact us, although the manager knew we had the key. Fucking Cuntcanoe is continuing to throw the Presidents and Ombligos under the bus at every opportunity instead of being just as vaguely concerned about why the concession manager didn't ensure that the team would have access the to stand.

There's a big communication problem this season, to be sure. It's you assholes* being underhanded and deceitful and spiteful; and continuing to make up issues so you can complain about not being told about these issues. I mentioned hours ago that Moron was going to use this as a wonderful opportunity to continue to pout about not being given access to the concession stand. The fact that there are board members who would choose to keep the stand close, losing more money, in a pathetically transparent attempt to make other board members look bad, is appalling to me, especially since it's being done under the guise of helping the league.

I understand that the Presidents and Ombligos have not made many friends this season. The way we've tried to repair relationships with vendors, stop the hemorrhaging of money and equipment, and dared to question where the HELL all the money went is egregious to be sure.

I'm done trying to save this league. Every bit of money that gets saved or raised is instantly blown back away. I'm resigning, effective May 26th (the day after the fundraiser gets delivered). I refuse to continue to allow the people actively working to get the league back on track to be thrown under the bus. I'm sure Fucking Cuntcanoe will be most relieved, as she's received so many complaints about the Presidents and Ombligos this year. You now have one less person trying to keep you from doing whatever you please. That's been working out REAL well the last two seasons.

*PS - most of you have been extremely helpful. By 'you assholes', I am specifically, and exclusively, referring to Fucking Cuntcanoe and her clique.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

/unsuccinct

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Oh, also - H and I calculated. We're the league's biggest sponsor.

BYE FELICIA

[Monica Geller]

That's some Jerry McGuire level email. Grab your goldfish and hit the road.

[sparkythelawyer]

Take note, interwebs: THIS IS HOW YOU TELL A FUCKING STORY.

Brava, friend. Brava.

[sparkythelawyer]

You ARE going to share their response, RIGHT?

[suzyp]

I am dying at no. 3. Dying.

[FastHands]

That.... that was a thing of beauty.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

I'VE CAUSED SO MUCH DRAMA.

Lots of, "AM I AN ASSHOLE YOU MEAN???" (no, bitch. The assholes know who I mean.)

Lots of complete missing the point - "Maybe we should hand out more keys!"

A GIANT (makes mine look like a sneeze) reply from Mrs. Moron, attacking President and her husband up, down, and around (weirdly enough, not me or H), which she starts with "I"m not into pointing fingers like others are".

[livinitup]

You did the right thing. That email response is a thing of beauty. Finally, a volunteer who calls assholes on their shitty behavior.

[gretchenindisguise]

I had to share #3 with my husband. That is hands down the best part of the story.

Please continue to pay to have it up for as long as you both shall live.

[regencygirl]

Have you thought about contacting someone to report them for possible theft and mismangement of funds? The club my son belongs to has a main board, then each sport has it's own board. I'm on the Soccer Board, with occasional stops into the main board when I find out they're being assholes and need a smack down. The main board started reporting they were running out of money and demanded a larger share of Soccer's profits (we're the biggest part of the overall club), so we called city council to find out what we could do about the mismangement of the club as a whole and they sent an auditor out to investigate. Main board president may be getting a hefty fine or some jail time if she can't come up with paperwork for where all our money went.