My brother is 31. He got engaged last month. She wants a beach wedding. We, and everyone they know, live in Missouri, Illinois or Indiana. Great.
Their plan - announced last night - is to get married in Florida THIS September at the literal height of the hurricane season. But not because they are staying in Florida for a honeymoon or anything as mundane as that. They want everyone to fly to Florida to see them get married THEN, they're getting on a flight right away for their honeymoon in Puerto Rico.
They choose this date - which has no particular meaning or need - even though both her brother and I have school-aged children who will have just started classes for the fall AND knowing there are no direct flights to this location. I checked this morning and it will be a minimum of $1500 for our flights alone and six hours of travel time. It's not even like it's Key West or Orlando or Naples or Miami or Tampa or St. Pete's or any of another three dozen cool and lovely spots. It's freaking Destin.
ETA: He wants H to be his best man, so going solo is out. No one to take care of kiddo, since my parents are going.
What was that phrase they used on TK? "It's an invitation, not a summons." You can always go by yourself.
He asked my H to be his best man. And also, Italian family guilt is a serious thing. My mom is all, "It's only KINDERGARTEN."
See, my mom would be like "You can't get married in Florida! Why don't you care about me? You don't want me to come? How can you do this to me?" and guilt him into getting married right where she lives, lol.
I'm sure it is lovely, but I lived in Florida for seven years and it doesn't exactly spring to mind as a top destination if you don't have a reason to go.
He asked my H to be his best man. And also, Italian family guilt is a serious thing. My mom is all, "It's only KINDERGARTEN."
See, my mom would be like "You can't get married in Florida! Why don't you care about me? You don't want me to come? How can you do this to me?" and guilt him into getting married right where she lives, lol.
Oh yeah. My mom did that to me. When I wanted to get married in Florida BECAUSE I LIVED IN FLORIDA at the time. We had to get married in Missouri.
Now, when baby boy wants to get married, it's all, well, it's what he wants. Buck up.
I'm sure it is lovely, but I lived in Florida for seven years and it doesn't exactly spring to mind as a top destination if you don't have a reason to go.
It is considered one of the top beaches on a few reports. I am sorry though. They should do Captiva or Siesta Key or something!
They must know most people won't be able to attend. This kind of goes with destination weddings. I would just let him know that the way things are right now, it might not be possible for your family. Don't ask him to change the location or the date. Just tell him this is probably not going to work for your family, you're really sorry, blah blah blah.
No, they are but if I'm going to spend $1500 on flights, I'd rather spend more than just a night or two and I really don't want to pull him out of school.
And TBH, it would be the first time we've flown anywhere as a family. I'm terrified of flying and haven't been on a plane in 12 years - not even for my own honeymoon. It would be really hard for me mentally to get not only one one plane but two, because no direct flights, and then have to do it again the next day.
What was that phrase they used on TK? "It's an invitation, not a summons." You can always go by yourself.
He asked my H to be his best man. And also, Italian family guilt is a serious thing. My mom is all, "It's only KINDERGARTEN."
And those first weeks/months in kindergarten are so crucial. It is the time that the kids are getting to learn the procedures, routines, and rules of the classroom, as well as each other. The teacher is working hard to create a community feeling in the classroom, so that each child feels important and valued. They are learning to work together as a team. You know, in addition to all the curriculum stuff, which is not what it used to be. K curriculum is much more than it used to be. It's not just colors and counting. None of this is to say that you should or shouldn't pull your kid out, it's just a response to "its just kindergarten" from a former K teacher.
Ugh I feel your pain! At least it will be nice weather!
In July we are flying to Canada for my brother's wedding....it's costing us a fortune between flights, car rental, hotel etc. Oh and not to mention my brother is already married and has been for 2 years!! So all this for basically a vow renewal.
No, they are but if I'm going to spend $1500 on flights, I'd rather spend more than just a night or two and I really don't want to pull him out of school.
And TBH, it would be the first time we've flown anywhere as a family. I'm terrified of flying and haven't been on a plane in 12 years - not even for my own honeymoon. It would be really hard for me mentally to get not only one one plane but two, because no direct flights, and then have to do it again the next day.
I am of the opinion that a couple days of Kindergarten missed isn't the end of the world, but if you have a fear of flying, I would just politely decline since you feel you can't handle it. Good luck, I am sorry you are in this position.
He asked my H to be his best man. And also, Italian family guilt is a serious thing. My mom is all, "It's only KINDERGARTEN."
Did your H agree to be his best man? Destination weddings are all well and good, but I do think the B&G owe a certain degree of consideration to the people in their wedding party...which it doesn't sound like your brother is giving.
He hedged. He doesn't think we should go. I think we're both kind of hung up on the fact that while it's a destination wedding, it seems so weird to have everyone in the family fly to a random location they choose but also didn't think was fun or good enough for their honeymoon. Like, isn't that the point of a destination wedding? This just seems like future SIL being a bridezilla at everyone else's expense.
Also, they're having a reception here in the midwest when they get back.
Honestly, I'd go solo. I'd also enjoy the solitude for a few days, esp if air travel is stressful for you. Hang out at a hotel for a day or two after the wedding.
Sorry, H can't be in the wedding because someone has to stay home and watch the kids. Too expensive and starting school are both good reasons. That's the way it goes with destination weddings.
ETA: please don't lay all this at your future SIL's feet. If she's a bridezilla, he's a groomzilla. They are presumably making the decision together.
cookie510 WHAT?!? I have no further comment except to enjoy your "vacation" which you had no part in planning & will be scheduled to the max
OP, that SUCKS! I can't believe that they're close enough that he wants your H to be his BM, but they can't even provide you with six months notice?! Screw them.
cookie510 WHAT?!? I have no further comment except to enjoy your "vacation" which you had no part in planning & will be scheduled to the max
OP, that SUCKS! I can't believe that they're close enough that he wants your H to be his BM, but they can't even provide you with six months notice?! Screw them.
No shit! It's out of control. The bride actually said somewhere on FB that the reason they are having it is because my brother's family couldn't be at their first wedding. Please do not do this on my behalf. To be fair, my brother lives in Canada - it's just a destination for us and our entire family.